The red and blue berry's juice
stained her fingers and palms
with a purple mix and dripping lips
a sweet suckling on strawberry delight
as i crave fondly the lips that bite.

Again the tease so tediously forgotten,
not issued purposefully,
I ask a question out of turn,
then you face the window,
hand on elbow and hand on berry
berry to lip, rubbing stain
dripping stain down cheek then collarbone.
The sun seeps in to the tiled room,
orange with early-night sun-dropping light.

Fruit sweet on ******* perked
sticky juices staining brazier
shirt: black, no stain visible
yet holding stains in her memory.
summer nights where black was popular,
and so was kissing in the playground tubes.
After dark, when the sky turned deep blue,
she ran to find friends,
and found trouble instead.

Under a river's bridge,
with mud soaking flip flops and toes then ankles,
pushed against a rock and wall,
hip thrusting toward a desire for the action, but not the person
with lips stuck to hers in his own fit of lust,
denim cutting back pulses and immediate desires.
Trapped under the doomed wall of blue.

*** stains like blueberry stains
soak into denim or shirts
and will not be removed by detergent
or brain-washing.

I sang to you a tune i didn't remember
and you recognized the melody immediately,
we talked about gore and cannibalism
as though eating each other is like eating apples.
red skin paled by winter
glows warm under incandescent bedside-light.
the first time i saw under your shirt,
i closed my eyes for a moment
just to wonder a second longer.
i felt your smooth cheek brush my thigh,
and later we spoke about cats
as though we didn't just pet each others'.

Overwhelming sad
Cannot bear to eat or sleep
Useless to go on

I cried so hard with you before i fell asleep,
and when we finally did stop crying
I laid my head on your chest and tried to sleep
but then i kept crying and tried to hold it in.
When i woke  up the next morning
i was on the other side of the bed,
i had a crick in my neck and you were over there on your back.
I cuddled with you again even though it hurt.
I just want to love you without pain.

Below my sleeping taste buds
a low gurgle is heard
(through my veins or skin?)
and the groggy bits of tongue
entice my need to feed
    --Something sweet, salty
        spicy and satisfying...

So wander, i did to the kitchen
so medium with cupboards filled
with boxes and bottles
cans and stretched stomachs
(too, so medium).
I reach for bread, a toaster
then milk and a mug.
I toast and zap,
then spread and rip
then pour, and oh! what more?

Aromas lifting my nose higher
than my need to feed.
A ding for warm milk,
and a splash from a spoon

Some spice? Squirt some Sriracha.
Salty? Add seasoning of garlic and pepper
The PB&J; classic: now advanced!
Warmed milk turned Cocoa
more splashing, then stirring, i made
L   U   N   C   H

Funny, as i bite into the
sweet, salty, spicy and savory sandwich
I look onto the spilled milk and Cocoa powder
and am reminded of the cosmos.

Oh why,
would they
do that?

Why
would they tempt me like this?

Why did they cut the pickle in half when i have no one to share it with?
I will eat one half today
and save the rest for tomorrow i guess.

The night was cold, icy, snowy..
I changed clothes at least 4 times
Not because i didn't like my outfit
But rather i had many outfits that i liked.

I ate a green brownie around 7pm
and could feel it until 7am
it was fudgy and crummy,
and gave me a buzz like a beehive.

The volume may have been loud,
but my ears felt swollen and fuzzy
we counted to midnight,
but my kiss was on the other side of the room.

In the very early morning of a new year
i felt dizzy and confused.
Playing a simple game with friends was increasingly difficult
especially as my mind wandered to more ***** ...

This year should be different
but not only because the calendar says so.