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Sep 3 · 102
sad stuff
Kai Rafanan Sep 3
oh, is that the new girl
you just had picture with?
how long have you met her?

i was hurting

sorry if i wasn’t speaking
i just lost my excitement
u keep tearing my heart r.a.a.
Kai Rafanan Aug 7
Why do you have
to make my heart
crumple each night
Did you know
I’m wide awake at night
than at morning?

Why do you always
make me cry
so hard
I hold my mouth
for them not to hear?

How easy it is
For you to run freely
When i am hurting
to this pain
I know i don’t even
Deserve getting at
I hate that i still have to wait for you, r.a.a.
Jul 24 · 43
Kai Rafanan Jul 24
and your
and handsome smile
a silhouette
i can never
Jul 24 · 332
red rose
Kai Rafanan Jul 24
sweet taxi ride
on the way home
a dark sight
of you
and your lies
buried behind

sweet promise ring
a dark sight
of you
and your lies
buried behind

sweet lies
sour kisses
open eyes
never closed
never loved

you’re alone

a sweet lying
i wish i could
but best forgotten
i remembered my ex while walking my way back from work.
Jul 24 · 36
Kai Rafanan Jul 24
writing this
imagining you
would be
my greatest
consolation when
i feel like
falling down.
to JKM
Jul 24 · 46
hello, sir
Kai Rafanan Jul 24
just like another day
getting the cabin ready
walk to the aisle
safety demos
rolling the carts


as i was about to go
back to the galley
i saw you
watching the morning skies
amazed how the
colors reflect through
the window

that’s when i
exactly told myself
i am in love
with you

hello, sir
may i help you?

why, yes
you said
may i have
a warm
cup of coffee?

god, that smile
how i wish
to see them again
i first saw JKM during one of my flights. he’s on my first leg of flight.
Jul 17 · 106
getaway love
Kai Rafanan Jul 17
hold my hand
let’s run away
from this place
the chaos are unbearable
they are pretentious
hiding a deep cut
in their skins

do you also exist
in another dimension?
because i want
to see you there
to see everything
that’s you.
the people from facebook and instagram. oh, twitter also
Jul 17 · 116
Kai Rafanan Jul 17
these sheets exactly knew
how much i dread getting up
anytime of the day
how much i screamed
deep inside
how i thought
things would
turn out to be

the people
i thought
were there
are like matches
that only burn
when lit
then leave when it’s done
i feel so alone in law school.
Kai Rafanan Jul 13
i felt your joy
seeping through my veins
as you perfectly smile
in that 3-minute video

looking at you
even it’s
just in the screens
to hold you
to kiss you
to engrave the words
i die to say
just to keep our
virtual love
even in my imagination
It’s you, JKM | 07.11.2020 |
Jul 12 · 102
Kai Rafanan Jul 12
Ikaw at ako
ay hanggang panaginip lamang
Hinihiling na ika’y
pumasok sa aking mundo
Hinihiling na maranasan
ang mga araw
na ika’y
masaya at malungkot




Dapat pagmulat ko
Ikaw ay nadiyan na


Hanggang panaginip
lang pala.
Hanggang panganip lang
Jul 12 · 376
Playlist, Part 2
Kai Rafanan Jul 12
Oh, darling
i listened
to your songs

it taste sadness
and longing

did she hurt you?
did she left you?

because it
feels like
you still
love her
Tulog na, Kai
Jul 12 · 56
Kai Rafanan Jul 12
humming your songs
is me
drifting to your ocean
asking to be
please notice me
Jul 12 · 63
der liebling Klen
Kai Rafanan Jul 12
How I wish to get lost
in a place where I’ll find
you once again
as I wander
with these unfamiliar
Your songs seeping
through my veins

A boundary
A reminder
that tells me
to stop daydreaming
you and me

It’s okay,
I wonder how it feels like
to dance my fingers
chacha to your pants
Hold your hand and
feel your warm skin

I wonder how it feels like
to stand near your presence
as you speak to
lost souls seeking salvation

It’s okay,
I love to be lost
in this misery i make
begging for you
to save me
I’m falling for this holy person.
Jul 12 · 87
Kai Rafanan Jul 12
i listen to your songs
it feels like
you are 
sending me away with
the words
i felt
you never tell to anyone
im falling for you, help
Jul 12 · 46
Kai Rafanan Jul 12
these sheets exactly
remind me
of how I gushed
in between
my pillow and space you
filled in
the longing
the sorrow
put smile to my sober face
just like how a three year old
receive her lollipop

i searched you everywhere
and here you are
laying down beside me
in my imagination

the walls
that our screens
a boundary
and an obvious message
that says
i can never have you
because you wear
clerical shirt
and obviously
you loved someone else
before me

oh god, do I really want this forbidden love?
that only exist
in my imagination?
that only exist
through my words?

would you, meine liebling,
notice me and my art
one second?

I am
dying to say
I love you.
Kai Rafanan May 24
you wiped my tears,
removed the pain
when i was screaming
in distress

my sunshine,
my sunset,
how timely
how magical it is
to bury me
into sole happiness
the rays of sunshine
you give,
and that little
poetry i give
to you.
May 24 · 405
for r.a.a. (a.k.a. m.a.)
Kai Rafanan May 24
your love,
it taste like a sweet wine
into the vineyards of italy.

your smile,
they bring sunshine
when i forget to see the light,

your soft voice,
they resound all the angels above,
and how i easily fall asleep

your soft skin,
my sanctuary when i'm scared

just one more
gentle look
as i open my eyes
and see the sunshine
in your eyes.
God i miss you, R.A.A. aka M.A.

— The End —