I see Sloth from “The Goonies”
whenever I see you.
You softly ask me to make love
but I hear “Baaaby Ruuuuth?”

Maybe it's your crooked teeth
or your rancid funk.
When you say you love me so
it comes out “Sloth love Chunk!”

I see Sloth from “The Goonies”
when we go socialize.
And when you greet our many friends,
you're saying “HEY YOU GUUUYS!”

Maybe it's the way you grunt
or just your lazy eye.
But when I'm having *** with Sloth
it makes me want to die.

As a child I always thought
My mother suffered from brain rot.
She told me I was making plots
to eat her up when I was not.
CONCLUSION...
Mirror, mirror on the wall
I ate my mother bones and all.

I don't like your face.
I don't like your eyes.
I don't like your hair.
I don't like your thighs.

You're gross and quite disgusting.
Your nose is full of hairs.
It sounds like charging rhinos
when you walk down the stairs.

Oh how I wish that you
would choke to death on your own tongue.
Because your whole existence
makes me go completely numb.

Tap tap tap
was the sound of their heartbeats.
Tap tap tap
was the song of their love.
Tap tap tap
was the way that they showed it.
Tap tap tap
was just not good enough.

Tap tap tap
was a sign of affection
Tap tap tap
in a world full of hate.
Tap tap tap
Will this love find acceptance?
Tap tap tap
Well for Tom, it's too late.

Tap tap tap
Why are people so ugly?
Tap tap tap
Why are people so cruel?
Tap tap tap
Why must love be forbidden?
Tap tap tap
Is that really the rule?

Tap tap tap
And now Tom's gone forever.
Tap tap tap
And poor Shane is a mess.
Tap tap tap
And he isn't allowed to
Tap tap tap
see his love laid to rest.

Tap tap tap
How much bile they were spitting!
Tap tap tap
I'm surprised they don't choke.
Tap tap tap
Is it shameful to mention
Tap tap tap
that they're church-going folks?

Tap tap tap
Now that Shane has gone viral
Tap tap tap
He's out screaming it loud
Tap tap tap
that this “God given” hatred
Tap tap tap
must no more be allowed.

Tap tap tap
was the sound of their heartbeats.
Tap tap tap
was the song of their love.
Tap tap tap
was the way that they showed it.
Tap tap tap
might just be good enough.

Once you were a friend
I gladly would have died for--
you cared not at all.

I gave you my heart
and everything I could give--
you cared not at all.

I showed you my love
and how much you meant to me--
you cared not at all.

I called on the phone
I sent you cards and letters--
you cared not at all.

I owed you my life
and tried to show that to you--
you cared not at all.

Anything for you!
All you had to do was call--
you cared not at all.

I loved you so much
My heart broke because I knew--
you cared not at all.

“Jesus take the wheel!” she cried
as her car did spin.
She crashed into a mighty tree
and her ribcage smashed in.

As she stood at heaven's gate
and asked why she was dead
Jesus shook his head and asked
if she'd flunked driver's ed.

She told him that she had not
and he said “Yeah you did.
Otherwise you would have known
to turn into a skid.”

Yoko Ono is a *****
who sings just like a seagull.
I'd like to push her off a cliff
cause she destroyed the Beatles.

Yoko Ono's face looks like
she just ****** on a lemon.
Lennon thought that she was fine
but I think she's a demon.

Yoko Ono's art is crap.
She's really not that good.
She thinks that Chapman might **** her.
I wish that ***** would.

Yoko Ono seems to think
the public just adores her.
We see through her, we know the truth.
We actually abhor her.

Yoko Ono lives alone.
Her husband met a gun.
She sold his ****** glasses
and she got a hefty sum.

Yoko Ono has no heart
and that's the bottom line.
If I saw her burn in hell,
well that would suit me fine.