I’ve made it a routine now
to decide what I am willing
to free from my thoughts.
And I have told myself that
those things can no longer invade
my every days
because you see,
change happens
and change is good
especially when you decide to change
for the better
for yourself
so you can remember the dreams
you once had but lost
so you can find something else that
makes you feel alive in ways you’ve never felt
but I would like to make a point that
you should not forget the things or ones
who made you come to these conclusions.
Because you see,
they were your starting blocks
they helped shape you
they taught you about love
and creativity
and happiness
and peace
and acceptance
they helped to learn to enjoy the things that were in store for you
and you should never regret the experience, or wish it were back
or be mad at yourself or others for why they ended.
just be happy that you got those chances,
and that is something that you can never replace.
I’ve lived the past month
questioning my journey
and my choices
and wondering what would happen if I could just rewind
could I fix how I loved
or how I treated myself or others
how to not appreciate the opportunities I have
and the experiences I will remember forever?
And I became angry, and confused, and remorseful
because I am self-critical.
I believe myself to be the bearer of bad news
of pessimistic mentality
of the need to timestamp everything.
But today, I’ve had an epiphany.
I realized that I cannot regret the fact that
things fall apart
and things cannot be mended
and that you might never feel the way you used to
with someone or in someplace
but sometimes you shouldn’t want to
because you need to be open to new experiences
you need to be open to loving someone new
or to living a different kind of life
or to experience new people and places
and basically need to grow up
and realize that there is room for better
and you’ll experience many moments of better your whole life
and those moments in your past were that
they were good and better than what you’ve had before.
But it’s okay to move on. And be happy for what’s in store.
And that’s what I intend to do,
and currently I really am
trying.
I’ve finally had a breakthrough from writing angsty posts about regret and sorrow and depression and I’m through with doing that. I need to remember positivities and ignore anything less. If you would like to take a look at this rather long poem, please do. I’m quite excited for this. But for now, good night. **