I AM TIRED OF FEELING SO DRY I WOULD RATHER HURT WITH ALL OF THE OCEANS WAVES DROWNING ME
I
HAVE
NOTHING
              LEFT
                     TO
                         BREATHE
WHERE ARE YOU

One time my sister asked me how love is always so easy for me

But the way I love is the same way people write with their left hands
I don’t, and if I do I do it poorly
I am a book shut with super glue
A vault with no key

But he is different
He isn’t love he is my love
He says the dumbest things
But every time it makes me grin like I’m in the worst love movie you’ve ever seen
His stupid hair and his stupid smile
He has my stupid key

I tell her my secret
The way I fell in love with him
The way I fall in love with him every day
I don’t look for love the same way I don’t search the sky for rain drops
It just begins to drizzle then suddenly it pours all at once

Talking is easy when it doesn’t matter
but when the weight of the world rests on my shoulders to croak out a single sentence
Forget it
He thinks we’re on the same page
I guess sometimes he forgets I read too fast

He always held my hand a little too hard
“I like us better when we're wasted”
Was a little too rough when he pushed me down
“It makes it easier to fake it”
Never really asked
“The only time we really talk”
if that’s what I wanted
“Is when our clothes are coming off”
Never really asked
“I like us better when we're wasted”
if he could hurt me

not just when we’re happy and things are going well;
I want to be with you always

I stand in my kitchen at 3:11 on a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon waiting for the toaster to pop and realize never in my life have I felt so alone

I write when I get insomnia
drawing in the dark is rather hard
I’ve written a lot the past weeks
and slept little
I’ve never been in his bed yet I long for it
I’m addicted without ever tasting it
In cold sweats awake at night
I need more
I wouldn’t need to write late at night if I had his skin to write all over
His lips to draw all over
and to kiss goodnight