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 Sep 2014 JWL
kyla marie
Perplexity
 Sep 2014 JWL
kyla marie
I'm unsure about a lot in life
like why distance has to be so distant
or why people meet for certain reasons and why they leave as well
why we can't erase horrible memories but manage to forget some along the way
or who's voice is in my head
flowing endless thoughts into my infinite mind
why innocent people die
why horrible people love
and people pass you by each day
"forgetting" your first name
and what the future has in store for me
is it all that great?
even if I try to change it,
shouldn't it be left to fate?

but there is one thing
I know for sure and I can't even fathom denying it

I'm in love with you so much that these questions all seem to get lost or forgotten because I can't possibly worry about the stupid unanswerable questions of life when the only thing that's on my mind is
you.
 Sep 2014 JWL
Carissa Lee
JF
 Sep 2014 JWL
Carissa Lee
JF
Turn off the lights
Close the door
Walk away
Walk away
Don't look behind you
The demons they hide
Waiting for you
Shut your eyes
And block out the world
You're in a strange place
Lost in your mind
The clock it ticks onward
You ran out of time
Like the sound of swords clashing
A sense of dread falls
They found you alone
Out in a field
Covered in crimson
No shield could protect you
From their looks of pity
Their eyes did dissect you
Looking for answers
Although it defies the truth that they know
For a Friend
 Sep 2014 JWL
Carissa Lee
She Is
 Sep 2014 JWL
Carissa Lee
She is broken
She lied to save her heart
His words made her melt
But she wasnt brave enough to stay
She bade him farewell
Pray he finds another
The tears they did fall
She grinds her teeth at night
Her fears come to life in her dreams
She has given up her fight
And seems that she is me
 Sep 2014 JWL
Carissa Lee
Unfinished
 Sep 2014 JWL
Carissa Lee
Sick
The blood is thick
I cant help but think Im *******
An inner fued finds its way out
Ive lost my wits
Tossed my heart away
The world turned grey
The tears burned my cheeks
For weeks I remained numb
My heart beating like a drum
 Sep 2014 JWL
Carissa Lee
He doesn’t give a **** about you
Despite all of his soft kisses
It’s all just a sham
So resist using all your might
Otherwise you’ll just be another of his toys
And if you succumb to his kind embraces
Your heart will surely break
Do not bind your heart to his
Because he will cut the cord
And you will fall hard
So please don’t say you love him
 Apr 2014 JWL
Western Wildflower
I am finding myself to be more than lost,
And it is at everyone else's cost,
I keep digging into myself,
But my life has been crystallized on a shelf,
And I am always up on his display,
Expected to act every other way,
Than the way I am and the way I want,
While he shows me off; so nonchalant,
And I try not to stumble and fall,
I try to be his perfect doll,
But the porcelain is starting to crack,
And my heart has been put under attack,
This old love for myself is coming back around,
This love I'm in was never really found,
And I want to run from his stupid game,
And rekindle my own loving flame,
With my soul that was blissful no matter what,
But I am finding that door was long ago shut,
So I stay here in this loveless love,
And let emptiness be all I think of.
 Apr 2014 JWL
Western Wildflower
There is no pretty way to hide these scars,
No makeup or dimly lit bars,
Could hide this sort of endless reality,
My ultimate and solitary frailty,
This inability to truly love.
 Apr 2014 JWL
Western Wildflower
I miss the pain,
The fire,
The self-destruction,
Their desire,

My weakness is my fragility,
My strength resilience,
My strength seeps into all weakness,

Now I am losing all ability,
There is no chance to pull though,
To push out of the dull pain,
No longer one of the select few,

I've dropped to the bottom of all holy things,
No clawing to the the top or even scraping the surface,
The weights become to heavy with the burdens it brings,

Alone again, alone in all this,
No saving hope; no faith in the risks,
I have been beaten by my own hands.
This was correlating to the pain (physical and emotional) that athletes go through during injuries that remove them from the things they worked to achieve.
 Apr 2014 JWL
Western Wildflower
I wish I could still say I love you,
But I am finding it harder and harder to do,
I know you were hurt, I understand,
I know our love wasn't as planned,
But you left me there bleeding alone,
Trapped in a suicidal, torturous home,
I had never felt so solitary and abused,
Never have I felt so unwillingly used,
I held the remnants of what should be a child,
I felt the pain run through me so wild,
I wish I could say I still love you,
I wish we could hold on and see this through,
But I can never trust that you could ever be there,
I can only trust myself to walk through this despair.
 Apr 2014 JWL
Carissa Lee
On the outside she's poised and graced
But on the inside she's in a dangerous place
Withering in self pity
The tears they slide down her face

In this city of despair
No one to confide in
In this city of despair
No where to hide

But on the outside
She is fine
And on the outside
She is laughing
And on the the outside
She is smiling

In this city of despair
No one to confide in
In this city of despair
No where to hide

But on the inside
She is screaming
And on the inside
She is bleeding
And on the inside
She is dying

In this city of despair
No one to confide in
In this city of despair
No where to hide
For a friend
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