i am
but a memory
of who
i am
yet to be

hateful floodgate opens
transgressions resurrected
impending failure thickens
all will be affected

blind to all but fault
swollen throbbing pride
withholding graceful mercy
none endure my chide

words divide asunder
biting truthful flow
searing core deep phrases
silver platter deadly blow

dust settles downward
precious love defiled
wasted vital resource
ego child beguiled

textured like
velvety memory
tickling my skull
iridescent feathered mind
wafting ideas
delicious odorous ideas
ripe with potential
inviting starved nostrils
alluding hope
delivering naught

leaves petrified with frost
withered on aspen branches
hanging like skeletal cocoons
ice-crusted once-yellow dead-greys
and yet
a mountain-strong autumn-bright sun
resurrects fall for a few more days

within a starlit valley
a thousand miles away
the omnipotence of distance
broods a lonesome song
an echo of his vacant heartbeat
reverberates without embrace
humbling his lofty thoughts
as he dreams of his wishful place
within a starlit valley
a million miles away

he's lived ten thousand lives
he's died ten thousand deaths

he's helped uncounted beings
and he's hurt everyone

he's summited every peak
and died in every valley

he's been both emperor and thief
both savior and tyrant

he has laughed and he has cried
he lives and then he dies

still faithfully he trods
the path that never ends

the path seems like a circle
but the circle is a spiral

or so he tells himself

again, he hears her first
a bright ripple on the breeze
pulses of lonely trilling

glancing skyward he catches
an hallucinatory glimpse
of her sand-stained wings

as if to avoid his gaze
she glides effortlessly into the
blinding back-light of the sun

she emerges head first
her red eye-mask glowing
in the midday illumination

overhead, she trills again
she circles and watches him
she is as curious as he

look into the mirror
what is it that you see

beard's a little sparse
but hair is just right

right eyebrow needs a trim
but not a blemish in sight

ears are far from perfect
but body's ready to fight

or

gaze at the butterfly iris
and watch it never be still

look into the pupil
and feel a little chill

as i see the me that sees
the one that has free will

look into the mirror
what is it that you see

meet me in that place
where reality is dream
and poetry pervades
       where we touch without hands
       and see without eyes

meet me at that time
when life is only art
and music permeates
       when we dance without fear
       and sing without words

meet me then and there
where and when dissolve
and together we are light
       where our hearts beat as one
       when we share eternal breath

rubber ducky billows
bobbing in a blue sky bathtub
floating on a morning breeze

clouds moderating
liquid vitamin d sun
seeping deeply into pores

sundial shadows
belie still feet
connecting patio cracks

sweet daffodil vanilla air
narcissisticly teasing nostrils
spring swirling deliciously

a morning with no agenda

happily sad
stormily calm
beautifully ugly
rhythmically erratic

fully empty
friendly enemy
knowingly ignorant
quietly screaming

beginning infinite
ending neverending

cross the river deep and wide
the gulf of our divide

strain against the current
or ride the raging torrent

stand on this shore with me
together we'll be free

moving mountains to the ocean
like the channel's flowing motion

cross the river deep and wide
the gulf of our divide

deep-seated bone-chill is a cold reality
yet here i stand watching intently
as glacier-cold waters rush by a bend
in a thunderously steady march
navigating the rocky course
of my river with precision
and strict efficiency
always finding the
path of least
resistance

as his majesty, father sun
cast his loving gaze toward
her highness, mother earth

with her frosty mountains
and snowy plains
her frozen canyons
and crystalized skies

she blushed with
soft pink affection
in the light of his
glowing devotion

inundating the silence
of a frigid-blue dawn
with their lustrous love

the fire of desire burns in every heart
until cindered ashes fall apart
revealing the cavern hidden inside
and if it feels full it's just
a lie

everything i threw into the fire
that i might quench thirstful desire
was consumed so quickly and then
the fire begged for fuel again
and again

there is no solace in this place
i am so ready to leave this race
and find in my heart once and for all
the peace that can only come from
the fall

out of this mindset and the stupid pace
to find again a peaceful head space
full of people that care for their neighbor
and help each other to
always remember

that we are nothing but love at our core
nobody wants to live at war
so why can't we  stop the constant fight
and instead see ourselves with a
clearer sight

and feel that our greatest power
comes in unity of every flower
that grows in this fertile garden
that was planted by god's
own hand

and deep inside
the king of dust
wishes all he knew
was covered and ******
into a forgotten land
of stone and rust

and the queen
she plays along

and the king
he knows he must
wallow and wail
in the tenement halls of lust
he cannot be left alone
with his lack of trust

and the queen
she sings his song

his humanity dwindled
when he called himself just
in the face of all
that will combust
and the pressure
of the thickening dust

and the queen
she suffers long

but the queen
has been done wrong

her heart's lonely call
achingly echos
reverberating
in hollow chambers and vessels
the empty craving
carving her heart

her divine heart sings
the eternal song of life
to the rhythm of the moon
and dawn's melodious light

the unknown roars
with a deafening silence
that obliterates the mundane
raising fears from deep within
that we didn't know we had

so we attempt
to pace the time-worn path
one step at a time
one more time

there is nowhere to hide

sunlight smashes
back of my eye

lightning streaking
all that I see

channel circulating
river of pain

heartbeat throbbing
drumming my skull

senses dulling
words escape me

voice echoing
time for lights out

i carry many telltale scars
but the deepest of them all
lies at my dead center
a permanent reminder of
the lost connection with
my mother

feathers grown long
downy infant transformed
dependent but independent

rotting nest disintegrates
slight breezes destroy
breaking home

unanswered food-prayers
turn terrifying sky unknown
into tempting frontier

brink-teetering feet
relaxing death grip
releasing into life

i thought i was once a bird
rising falling with the breeze

i thought i was once spider
knitting delicate death traps

i thought i was once a mouse
nocturnally gnawing secret doors

i thought i was once a bee
flower jumping bumbling expert

i thought i was once a vine
strangling hosts as i climb

i thought i was once a lion
and all did bow and cower

i thought i once lived a life
or separate lives
one after the other

i was a bird surfing wind and breeze
i was a spider crafty web spinner
i was a mouse skittering dark passages
i was a bee flying life spreader
i was a vine by nature climbing and killing
i was a lion maimed and disgraced

i thought i was once another being
or so i told myself

this mountain made of limestone
limestone that long ago comprised
it comprised an ancient seabed
the seabed became desert
and the desert became mountain
the mountain reaches for the sky
but the sky withholds her rain
and rain’s metamorphic power
is power that the desert craves
craves like a lover lost
lost in the cruel cycle of time
but time brings evolution
and evolution the mountain knows
she knows that it’s her lover
and her lover never left her
never left her all alone
alone in the cycle of time
so in time she has faith
faith that she will once again
once again become an ocean
an ocean full of rain

and now the sky is falling
a wounded heart is calling
heaven's filled with graying stars

life is full of leaving
but love is full of healing
they never stand that far apart

so i will stand as witness
and see the snake's rattle and hiss
as nothing more than what they are

and i will be just one
and bask under the sun
and heal this broken wounded-heart

this guy beside me the one on my right
with the camel blazer complete with
corduroy elbow patches and
checkerboard leather buttons

he looks like he has a score to settle

he's mostly bald under his
brown-wool newsboy cap
i know because the spot
it dips pretty low in the back

his face is baby smooth but
he has polluted all of our nostrils
with cheap aftershave fumes
you cannot not notice the lurid air

he has accumulated a great wealth
of america's prized possession
and he wears it proudly around his midsection
he must have a hundred pounds there

his dark slacks are clean but old
his white shirt is pressed but polka dotted
with coffee stains the same hue
as his yellow teeth

he looks as if
he is trying very hard
to make an impression
but something has happened

his furrowed forehead
looks like waves lining up
readying to break themselves
on the shoreline of his brow
and there's a storm cloud casting ****** shadows
as it floats above his too-dark eyes
while his cheek twitches and i notice
a tangible jaw tension as thick as london fog
showing through his weighted jowls

i wonder what's wrong

i hope he's ok

i cast him a smile

and i'm on my way

long ago my dreams were forged
from molten sands of time
shining stained glass
intricate lacework mosaics
fit for a cathedral
then shattered
scattered
and lost
throughout the endless
heaven of your heart
by the thought
of your
love

the greatest generation
are only kids now
i pray they do better
than we

in my sons' eyes burns
a brilliance unmatched
my hope for a world
gone astray
 
my daughter's heart's full
of compassion and peace
my hope for a world
full of hate

leaflets flirting with the warm breeze
sunset orange-coral nestling into grassy valley
             universal rose-colored lens half-hour
flower buds swollen with anticipated arousal

impossibly long shadows veil canyon walls
breaking rank, ducks' webbed feet descend
             glass-calm river pool flock-shattered
invisible trout shadows streak water-polished stones

butterfly-fluttered stomach flies with her touch
lightning-flash eyes shine under dark-forest lashes
             full lips birthing angelic-wit phrases
her room-lightening smile erupting with laughter

at this moment i am
crystalized and solidified
into this body and mind
that i call my self

when i die i become liquid
i exist only as a part of the whole
just as floating ice dissolves
my self will disappear

until i become a self once more
just like rain freezes to ice
melts and flows to the sea
then evaporates and falls as rain

but for the present moment
i pray that i'm as strong as a glacier
scraping canyons for mountain springs
carving a better world for those that follow

stay with me
i'm your escort
from the
void

stay with me
as i shed my
light
on
darkness

stay with me
as I coat your
soul
in
flesh

stay with me
as i print your
words
on
paper

stay with me
as I ****** you
from the
void

stay with me
now
oh words

oh words
do not retreat

welcome screen
should read
creativity killer
talent ecpliser
time exterminator
idol of america

instead
it says
roku

october has let roar
with a blanket of heavy
a hope-silencing fog
a deep down smothering
of everything good

so now i sit
trying to write
something happy
so october
doesn’t
drown
me

see?

it’s rough.

how am i supposed to

keep the house clean
while
doing my office job from home
while
home schooling my three kids
while
distancing myself from everyone
while
being so stressed about coronavirus
that
it feels like i've done a week's work
by tuesday

and

how do i do it all
without paper towels

i am tired

but i am still healthy

her ancient hallowed visages
enshrine his divine morning light
revealing their unending marriage

his wind-driven rain and ice
weather the signature of seasons
deeply etching her face

her birthed children
play amid gravity's attraction
populating her shoulders

his relentless currents
pulse through her cavities
conceiving their offspring

and as gleaming white aspen
flutter yellow-butterfly leaves
and dance on her curves

and as rainbow-shimmering trout
glide through his flowing heart
and dance in his stream

i feel their presence
living within juniper and boulder
and i dance in this moment

the greatest poem
lies in front of you
as an empty page

the greatest song
lies in your voice
as a pregnant silence

the greatest artwork
lies in your hands
as a latent talent

the greatest day
lies in your waking
as a potent dawn

the greatest life
lies in you
as a human being

does the caterpillar
fear
the entering of the cocoon
in the same way that we
fear
the entering of the tomb?

its very existence
is brought into question
each passing year
in this season-forsaken
corner of the world

the sun’s advance
toward this frigid
wind-blown high north
takes place behind
cloud-veiled skies

the transition from
empty white-brown winter
to full green-brown summer
happens suddenly
and on its own terms

terms that include
swollen buds nipped
frost-bitten daffodils
and late yellow crocus
blanketed in snow

rocky mountain spring is
late april sixty-degree days
trees in full leaf overnight
sticky snow-melt mud
and memorial day tulips

smooth grey stones
bounce across the stream
as if begging for one last glimpse
of the rainbow-toned sunset

as they skip across
the fast current surface
before sinking into a watery grave
as i throw them to their death

he smiles to hide
the hurt inside
his shining eyes
are only lies

he laughs out loud
despite dark clouds
that clog his mind
with thoughts unkind

he lives a life
of hidden strife
and this, his plight
he obscures with light

so see his smile
and know his guile
his favorite mask?
you need not ask

i was just a kid
the first and last time
i picked up a barnyard kitten
she hit me with every sharp thing
she had in her arsenal
including her hiss
which i felt as much as i heard
in the same way you feel the rattle
when you hear the snake
that day i learned that
even cute things can be ugly

I watched
a thousand
warriors
butally
demised
before
I cried

Then
Old Yeller
died.

sleeping dogs don't lie
they only speak the truth
the truth of everything

the truth of every being
is that we all just want to eat
and nap under the sun

unless it's summertime
then we would prefer
to sleep in the shade

is it what i see
or how i see it
that matters?

is it what i say
or how i say it
that really matters?

is it what i do
or how i do it
that truly matters?

is it being alive
or how i live my life
that really, truly matters?

in the end,
hopefully
it seems that all
was for nothing.
that means that
our goal
has been met.
as a family of humans,
around the whole world,
we came together
and kept
our distance.
in doing so
we defeated an
invisible enemy.
together.

like a tunnel with a retreating exit
he felt his life slipping away
tightly held with his hands
loving hands that had never
ever caused pain
life became a lightning bolt
here and gone in an instant
only memory remains

and as the darkness gathers
all light and life into a pinpoint
he looks to his left
(it's always to the left)
and his angel unfurls her wings
and through her eyes he receives
the strength to hold on
and **** the unbearable thirst