These days I'm barely sleeping
Staring at the same old ceiling
Without the will to forget you
Trying every night to pull through.

I want to flip through the delicate,
worn pages of your life's story.
Past the detailed table of contents,
experiencing each chapter for myself.
Every small ink splatter between the
spaces of your soul's dialogue
forms tears descending on the page.
Instead of a period signaling the end
of your life's long sentence,
you courageously turned it into a comma
so that your story would never truly end,

As it ever so lightly touches your lips
The liquid disappears
Just as your soul does.

It all turns to black.

The violence of my vast imagination
wraps around me,
grabs a hold of me,
tight,
tightly,
tighter,
until there is nothing left.

Your lips part
At the nape of my neck

You brush them
Against my tingling skin

Closing my eyes
At the slight touch of them


I'm home.

I.
My first in first grade
I carved your name in my desk
I hope it's still there.

II.
Made class valentines
Required for everyone
But mine was special.

III.
You begged the teacher
To sit by me on the bus
With a great big smile.

IV.
The first who wanted
To take me out for dinner
But it was a joke.

V.
Dedicated song
I can no longer hear it
Without thought of you.

VI.
You never said it
But your eyes always told me
You had wanted more.

VII.
You dated my friend
And I never told you how
Much I adored you.

VIII.
Playful like a child
But mature like an adult
So interesting.

IX.
You asked me to prom
Yellow flowers for friendship
That's all I wanted.

X.
You said you loved me
I loved you like a brother
It would never work.

XI.
You swore up and down
You had changed for the better
You didn't, first kiss.

XII.
Late walks on campus
Never saw me with makeup
We were so natural.

XIII.
Eyes found each other
"I don't forget pretty girls"
you whispered to me.

XIV.
I fell quickly, hard
But you still loved someone else
A girl with my name.

XV.
A friend of a friend
Texting non-stop everyday
Going nowhere fast.

XVI.
Liked me from the start
Bruised and broken, I do care
But not in that way.

XVII.
The piano man
It was all right but timing
One that got away.

XVIII.
We tried to fight time
Thinking that you were ready
Left us with heartache.

What if our tears of loneliness
fell from our wet cheeks
and met at our chin
to make each other whole?

A plane ticket can help you
leave this hell behind,
but it can't help you escape
from your dreadful mind.