meditative
to sit with people in silence
the ones who know your darkest thoughts
darkest feelings
and they don't need to say anything
you just know they're there
and the presence
is enough to pause your demons

the scars from you
both visible and unseeable
but i don't know which one
i'll show off first
when the next begs me to open up
but the scars are too much
and they always leave
and then i always have a new scar
for the next broken promise

maybe it's a good thing you left
you gave up
said i'm too much
but i'm just full
and i need someone just as full
so we can overflow together
and i'll never be told i'm too much again
so thank you

i want closure
but i need connection
trying to find a way to reach out to you
isn't going to give me either
so why do i keep wanting to?

"what a beautiful time of your life"
everyone exclaims
would they still say that if they knew
the emptiness
the depth of pain
the longing for anything beyond this moment

craving that fresh air
from the mountains and the old trees
giving off the feelings of freedom
feelings of wisdom
and knowledge that being alone
doesn't always mean being lonely

maybe the issue is we were both too much
both too bright for flames and we
fought instead of supported

maybe we each need our own oxygen
our own wood
to burn brighter without each other
rather than fighting for air