I miss your sun and all its warmth as it gave me hugs when I stepped outside
The way you took the clouds and held them in your big blue space
You let me feel the green grass grow beneath my feet
Can we just lay here a while, in complete simplicity?
Rain or shine, I enjoy the whispers you sent me through the wind
Now the ice is melting, like sprinkling rain upon my head
Lately I’ve been dreaming of how your embers used to shine
Of how you took care of me in times of need and in times of goodness
Bring me back to the times where I could just close my eyes in the outdoors
And fall in love with you again
I can’t wait for your birds to sing to me their sweet melodies
I want nothing but your open air and open water
Just let me take it all in again, bring back your long lost friend
The trees are bare but I remember when you had them surrounded by leaves of green
Oh and all the creatures you sent out, especially the ones at night
How they clattered and squealed, I could watch them from my window
You would bring me out on lonely nights and distract me with your beauty
I miss your beauty, the way every single thing captured my eye
I can’t wait to gaze up at your sky without any worry in the world
Bring back the colors you loved to blend, the same ones I fell in awe to
Let me travel your rivers and streams again, barefoot, the only way to feel
I want to get ***** in your mud again, creating pictures with my limbs
Bring me to an open field, just so I can run, and fall into you, and laugh, and smile.
Just come back, bring it all back and give me something to enjoy again.

My skies turned from gray to blue, to black and back.
Fueled with charisma and insanity,
The little hope I had left took my hand, and led me home.
I would shine like the sun, if it weren’t for the clouds.
I look back now and realize
How childish everything I ever did was.
And I understand that tomorrow,
I’ll look back at today and think the same.
I walk on the line dividing heaven and hell,
Not yet sure which side I’d like to fall.
Who is there, if it is not you?
Who are you, if you are not here?
Maybe I am so alone and missing you
Because you have not been replaced.
But maybe you have not been replaced
Because I’ve been missing you.
Long story short,
Or maybe it’s been a short story all along,
As much as I miss, as much as I want, as much as I crave.
Faces come and go, and as yours is leaving,
Another is coming, making me smile in different ways.
Flipping and flopping, tipping and toppling.
I notice that smile from across the room
Nervous excitement bubbles inside of me.
The pages are turning and we are learning
How to be okay, how to calm down and stay.
I don’t know exactly what to say, other than hello
While in my head the words are forming,
My brain is constantly storming.
Our souls lead our hands to play the music
That we couldn’t possibly express with words.
From corner to corner,
The feelings continuously bounce off the walls.
Braids and shades, blades and trades.
As we live on, as we love another
I am the missing piece,
That belongs to a different puzzle.

And exactly when everything was beginning to feel right,
Little pieces started to shatter off, unreachable, uncontainable
Indulging themselves with quick ways and smooth ways
Overwhelmed by yells and infested with thoughts of forget me not’s
Recognizable thoughts seep in and out of the brain waves
Some comforting, some riveting to remember and I ask them for more
And I stood by as the pain swelled and left a mark enough to tell
I want to run to you and cry to you, I would, and wish you’d hold me still
But you told me not to enter any kind of that into my mind
I cry out at night, and remember that I’m probably the last thing there
Too tired to sleep and too lonely to eat, I’ll die like this soon
G4910, I have not taken one since Tuesday… of last month
Bed sheets wet, I drowned them with my tears, the tears of fears.
Pillow cases black enough to be bruised, they journey on with me
The sounds of silence frighten me and cause me to tremble
A slight sadness, but out comes a breath of fresh air
Past, present, future, for which am I living for?
Past mistakes, messing up, and almost tragic endings, and good at the same
With laughter and cheer, kisses that were sincere, I had safety in the comfort
Present goods, with slipping in faults, mostly good times only bad when alone
Living life with and for things that I couldn’t possibly imagine before
Future times, so empty, an open canvas for me to explore, for me to design
But where am I going, who is coming with me and who will cut themselves out?
All unknowns, but they all feel right, and they all feel wrong
All uncertain and certain in their own particular ways, and my mind strays

it’s times like these
when I know that I will travel somewhere else in my life
and not give a **** about how you’re doing.
you might call me sometimes to check up on me
and I will not answer.
I will be away from you.
away from every memory we ever had.
good or bad,
I’m willing to leave it all behind.
you took a plain and peaceful day
and made it all go away.
over the next few years we will slowly slip away,
I won’t care.
ever since I was little,
I tried to please you,
tried to make you laugh.
I remember never being able to make you laugh.
nothing I do is good enough for you
no matter how hard I try.
I am your only one,
and you ruin me with every breath you take,
with every word you spit at me.
I can’t wait for you to realize and regret
everything you did.
I can’t wait until you realize how strong I had to be
in order to put up with all your nonsense.
I always wanted you to be loving and caring,
to appreciate me at all times.
but I never believed I lived in a fairytale life,
and you aren’t the kind person that you should’ve been.
getting away from you is hard because you’re here all day and all night.
I am not the age where I can just run away,
no matter how hard I wish for it.
I guess the only thing I can do now is to stay away from you,
wherever you are.
I don’t want you to meet my friends,
or the boys I grow fond of.
I don’t want you to walk me down the aisle,
or meet my future children.
I don’t want to invite them into the hostility of your environment.
I’ve always been told to stay away from bad influences,
and people who treated me wrong,
to stay away from people who didn’t deserve my presence,
and so I’m getting away
and staying away from you.
Goodbye.

Locked in her room, she’d have the time to do as she pleased
Monsters on the outside and different monsters on the inside
Play the screaming music, loud, and scream to it, too
Sick of it all, of you, of him, of her, of putting on the mask
They never believed in her and so she doesn’t anymore either
She’d like you to know how bruised up and broken she feels
If the time is right, she’ll let you know by sight

Locked in her room, she’d have the time to do as she pleased
She could cut up and punch down, walk out without a frown
Cause all that would make everything fine, at least for this time
And then what would you think of her
Your little girl, threw herself to the demons, let them take over
Go ahead and point your fingers, do what you will,
But don’t you dare try running away from the blame

Locked in her room, she’d have the time to do as she pleased
All you’d hear from the outside is the music blaring loud
No screams, no cries, no words, no whispers
So maybe this is her goodbye, maybe she won’t leave a note
She’s already told you, time after ******* time,
That she couldn’t bear to breath any longer, but you ignored
Her music fades and so does your yelling, as well as her life
Break down the door, you’ll find her on the floor

Locked in her room, she’d have the time to do as she pleased
You can lock her in to keep her from exploring,
            But nothing’s stopping her from leaving forever.

You came into my life so quick,
I tried to fight it.
But something about your voice
Just made your words stick.
The stuck into my head,
They stuck into my mind,
They stuck into my eyes
As I watched you lay in bed

Maybe in a different time,
We could be all intertwined,
And I could call you mine.
Maybe in a different life,
Or maybe in my dreams tonight,
I could take you,
And hold your hand so tight.

I was waiting on a miracle.
You were more than a miracle.
More than I could ask for.
You showed me what my life could be,
If I only just believed
So I took a leap into your heart.

I never thought I could be so real around anyone,
Like I was when you were with me.
I never thought that I could feel this way towards anyone,
The way I feel about you, baby.

Maybe in a different time,
We could be all intertwined,
And I could call you mine.
Maybe in a different life,
Or maybe in my dreams tonight,
I could take you,
And hold your hand so tight.

But I don’t regret a thing.
And I won’t forget a thing
Because life with you is all I needed.
I just needed you to be there,
To love and care at all times.
I believed you at all times
I loved you at all times.

I loved you at all times.
I loved you at all times.
I loved you at all times-

Hey, you are the one for me,
And I don’t want to let you go.
Just thought I would let you know…
That I, I want to fight for you,
But I’m scared to.
I need you here with me, right now.

I don’t want to wait for a different time,
I want to be all intertwined,
I want to call you mine.
I don’t want to wait for a different life,
I don’t want to fall asleep tonight.
I wanna hold you tight.

She sat alone on the water.
Staring up to the sky
With the moon beaming down
Onto and reflecting off of the water.
And she started to cry.
Tears flooding down her face,
She didn’t care, no one was there.
Because she loved him.
And he was inside making memories
With a girl, that wasn’t her.

Footsteps followed by footsteps,
She knew it wasn’t,
But she wished for them to be yours.
They weren’t.
Just from a stranger passing by.
“how are you doing tonight?”   “fine.”
And the stranger-boy walked on.
She continued to look up to the moon,
Watching the stars and
Wishing she could go that far away.

Music and laughter spilled out
From the building behind her.
And the footsteps came back.
“you sure you’re alright?”   “yeah.”
And he decided to sit down next to her.
“there’s no need to lie to a stranger, you know.”
So they sat together,
Feet dripping and swaying
In the night-chilled water while they talked.
And she told the story for the very first time.

As time reached late, they each had to go home.
They said their goodbyes and
She walked back alone.
Hoping you would be there,
Wondering where she went,
Where she had been.
She walked in and all eyes were on her.
But none of them were his.
She sat there for a while,
Waiting for you to come back for the night.
Minutes passed and the door opened.
Finally, you had come back…
…With the other girl.

And she decided that was enough
Tug-of-war on her feeble heart for one night.
So she went to bed,
Without a goodnight.