great love to me is frightening
it's all ache and burn
the
rearranging of breath & bones
justifying anything at all to see that
smile in front of me
I can't
rightfully explain it the way my knees can
or my
right hand but
I like to call it floating
I like to feel that &
sink at the same time \
it's confusing and beautiful;
hours become petals,
heartbeats are worthy and
it is cold settling after this.
it is unbreathable
when the warmth gets wasted

the poetry wasn't about her
it was the birds I;
I found it under her bones
cause
we aren't the same while we sleep
we're
so far away &

lately
4:00AM isn't what time it is
it's
me choking
and when we
talk about the weather it's not
conversation it's
burning and
blood just doesn't run the same
once it's been touched

her fists fit perfect in the slow
rooms of this body
& I'd get so high standing on her knees getting saved by each
fleeting leave in her breathing

let's cross straight & never say it
undress my restless legs
& leave them guessing how far
they'll fall again for you

thighs don't have minds but
mine can't forget
your resting neck, please
spare me the muscle memory;
are we street lights or are we better ?
my feet remember how it felt
running to you
my legs, beg for less bruising
but I think that you're worth it

I won't give up the way I gave in &
I hope you see the difference;
I hope that when the taste fades
you remember what it was made of

silver linings don't exist honey;
those are your veins

it's one of those
things; how
coffee, after dinner
sounds good but
you can't sleep when you get home &
how the trees look so beautiful
dying and gold
still, outside it freezes you
down to your bones
it's when you feel like that
last slice of cake that
got left out
it's this
breathing to scream but
don't open your mouth
I've been
digging for reason
buried in doubt
to believe in what's good when
that isn't allowed &
I've swallowed my gun
it was loaded with love but
it shot out my lungs
I learned love's not enough

you know from the moment
you
stop feeling beautiful
she said it
wasn't suppose to matter
and
I always want
what's
gone

& you're always gone
so what's beautiful
without your forearm
without our throats
& when I can't hear you

cause I'm not writing poetry
I'm filing a complaint
in a love letter
to your name

lately
I've stayed inside;
being reminded that
even the grass is
loud sometimes
& I'm
desperate for silence

something to stop my
grinding teeth when
I can't scream the answer

while
everyone's dying to feel
better &
I just want to feel less
but
Gravity gets the best of us &
I'm doing everything I can
to
deny the pressure