I see the divide now
how I'm set on fire
by the
ice
in your
eyes
and how they both destroy my
s k i n
& yet
they heal completely
different
and

that maybe
if
you ever wanted that
fever again
you'd call me

counting you down -
you are my
noun
& I'd rather be
honest with you
than to be
loud
let us be
calm
  let me
renounce
I took you home with me
into my house
I am still
in love with you
inside my mouth
& you should still
belong with me
ignoring miles

she chewed through my ribs
& attached me to wings

subsistent, pretending
I don't need a thing

she pushed through my body
propelling a shriek

her hand fits me close
& her sleep fit my sheets

but I'm done with she's perfect
I'm shrinking in blinks
& I'm sick of this
balancing stilts built on dreams

& I've stopped all this tripping
my shoes are on tight
but I'll  
fall asleep
hoping
you slept good tonight

learning that love is
no more than in moments
I couldn't trade ours
so I frame them in poems

& I've turned down the Joni
turned down the heat
you left on my tongue
you poured
to my feet

I'm starting to see
I have
been-seeing-strings
& I hate that I hate now
believing in things

but I love to remember
& I'm starting to think
that all through these nights
& with every drink
that I still sink for you
& get weak just breathing

I like to
sit with it in days
that way
I'm not driven insane

& you're so easy to remember
the way I love you like winter
you're early November

but those are only seasons
and seasons
they pass
& I'm sad but
so grateful
slow memories last

I won't bash or
be hateful
I like what we had

You held
my hand and my head
& I'm okay with that