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Julie Butler Aug 2015
to replant or relearn
like they're the same thing
that to swallow a seed
is like eating the tree

water feeds worry
& words tell me
n o t h i n g

but you told me that you loved me
& it is all I can believe

tonight i'm finding poems
in every place you stood
& I am digging deep in gardens
busting knuckles over wood

the grace to understand, my love
is doing me no good
it is the way you burn inside of me
I wish you understood
Julie Butler Aug 2015
love is in the silence
the nothing that fronts completion
the smell and ******
trusting in care
it is in caring

quieting down for the loud of your lover
love like this, completely or
do not claim the word
love is in the consistency and not the pattern
finding love in the letting

love is in the letting and moving
the dancing of bodies

it is in forgetting
and pulling it all through

the way two bodies feel in bed
waking up wanting to do it all
over and over and over again
Julie Butler Aug 2015
it starts like this;

breathing

to the grief of non-belief
against anything appealing

I'll chop down the rest

I loved you best in my bed
& again in your car

that I would love you, coming back
& I will love you very far

I am calling this a lesson
while breaking down my heart

and I am learning every second
what to see, placed in the dark
Julie Butler Aug 2015
beg
gifted
she quick-sipped
the drip off the bottle;
lulling the smudge
& spoke cheers as a motto

forgetting will get there
upon every swallow;
the drenching through holes
in a heart falling hollow

won’t we still dance
when the lemon needs tuning ?

I liked in her, choosing
what no one was doing

she sings to me, pleased
cause I’m still here to listen
to songs about bones
& their thoughtless intentions

I swam in her hands
to find land in a kitchen;
*& saw when she spoke,
how I need to be living
Julie Butler Aug 2015
being seen from inside
your ice-green
eyes that started fires
in-between blinks, you looked to me
is something I admired

now whiskey brings
evening company
unfurling what's desired

what you left
still inside my chest
smoke signaled love & tired

tried to have your eyes simply-see
my love for you is breathing
haven't seen such colors as these
since sleep beneath your ceiling

lost in trust's muffled, rusted-musts

but lying there was easy
Julie Butler Jul 2015
I think somewhere in this, I'm going to figure out, you know .. how it's done & through all the many ways it takes. lessons become teachers because people forget how to treat truth.
but everything is community in my mind. nothing happens without something else; I never understood the need to fight that. i digest in my head but what would I do without my right hand ? it's me and every other part of my body. I'm never alone. lonely is a lie we tell ourselves. there are always birds. always books. I meet a lot of people when I read & I never explain a thing. this reminds me of my love for dogs. to provide without need. a beautiful, beautiful thing. but words get abused like substance & when something is felt, we get confused, trying to explain it, trying to feed it. instead of just feeling it.
feel before you deal
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