Nothing you say now
Feels familiar and I
Thought I'd never see the day
I couldn't count on anything
Not even numbers
I just roll my eyes
I roll them so when I look back
the pain from straining
Will stop the remembering
And I'm forced to wait
To see clearly again

are miles suppose to mean something to me ?
if I don't breathe when I'm with you
if I can't breathe when you leave
it's the same **** thing
[ e v e r y  t i m e  ]
I scribble these lines
I try making them rhyme
am I just wasting mine ?
what is all this time good for ?
torture maybe ?
if miles separate lives
when i'm  dying to find
the right lines to align
and building this frame
with nothing behind it
the sky is the limit
but the sun is so blinding
so I go out at night
and chase moonlight with wine sips
I've learned not to trust wine lips
or lips at all, really
cause i'm afraid of the brain
that makes it all so appealing

Am I thinking too much
Or is it too little ?
Consumed with what's in between
I found you in the middle
so riddle me this
there's a flick in my wrist
it wants to push and press
breathlessness
from under your hips
out of your lips
i want you to grip both my shoulders
turn your weight into shapes
I'll hold, unfold and then smoulder
your tongues a bit young
for my taste when I'm sober
i'm not one to hold back
turn this hole in my face to it's holster
i'm not bold but I'm brave
I'll probably break if I hold her
& the older I get
seems the more I grow colder
it was the cold that unfolded
the roll of my boulder
she's the ice in the road
that stole the control
I lost in October

I don't believe that I was forward
but you pointed straight ahead
and I didn't insinuate our ***
but you gave me head in my bedroom
your legs, those legs
should not leave my blankets
your hair smelled like fall does
& your chest made me anxious
you laid there like a goddess
I should have hand fed you grapes
you stole my night and my morning
I should have asked you to stay
but it's okay
now it's daytime and i'm keeping myself busy
you left your smell on my fingers
& it's making me dizzy
I smiled as you left
& when you walked out the door
I saw your car leave the yard
& your ******* on my floor

I'm wondering if
I loosen my fist
if the weight of my
persistence
could end with a kiss
it's a gift that I wish for
on a list that i've written
a name that i've scribbled
and penned down and sipped on
for the millionth minute
for the millionth time
& every time that you smile
i trip ten steps behind
but I run to catch up
& I pick up my jaw
I'm in awe of you darling
no, and that isn't all
I want all of you darling
but I don't want to fall
so I drop to my knees
and I crawl
and I crawl
and I crawl

I squirm
to form words
I know you've already heard them
I want to say something new
learn a different slogan
I'll write a different poem
every single night
explaining the importance of time
& your sides next to mine
it's a line
these are lines
but none of them are lying
I'd like to pick through your mind
and climb the
flights
        of
           your
                   spine
bite your smile
find your binds
and slowly untie them
redefine what's sublime
leave behind all the silence
what's inside this
no one knows
I think I know where this is going
If I could convince you late at night
to just be mine
& keep you moaning
keep on crowing
keep on throwing
your name to the moon
i want to wrap you in my blankets
and keep you in my room
I know it's soon
it's all too soon
but i'm making room for it
I've got a lot on my mind
and you're the lot i'm exploring
but I'm not pouring this up
I hope you've got it by now
while I tackle your why's
watch me worship your how's

Let's start with some words
before we go any further
before I get lost in this world
that exists on your shoulders
before I allow you to break me in
& wear me out
I'm about to convince my nerve endings
that we need to fly south
but I flout
I doubt bouts
as I
shut
down
my mouth
in fear of every word
burning
my insides & out
cause they are loud
& it shrouds me
like a cloud or thick smoke
you evoke this hoax that I've drowned in
& throw boats down my throat
how can I float in a landslide ?
it's making me dizzy
how can I grow if your lies are what's keeping me busy?
it's misery really
& the feel won't fulfill me
so I dump myself out and rebuild what i'm missing
I spilled all the will I had left for this feeling