sometimes I wish I didn’t have to talk at all,

wish they could read what I’m trying to say by looking at my tired expression

I don’t care about any of it

I don’t care who is kissing who and I don’t care about who my past lovers are seeing

sometimes I wanna scream so loud because I am so lost

I don’t know my next step, I do know what I want to do but I would have to do it alone and something is holding me back

I fell to the bottom alone
I sunk so far alone
I don’t want to be alone anymore.

I am so tired.

I am happy for those around me who continue to change and grow in their lives

I am so incredibly happy for them

But I still feel as if I am stuck, running in circles, trying to make sense of the mess in my head

I feel this aching feeling in my chest at the thought of being left behind, trying to find comfort in someone when I know in my heart, that is not what I want

I am happy and content, why should I want to have someone there?

I am happy with who I am, so why do I feel as if I’m missing out?

I no longer want to wonder what a life with you would be like, I don’t want to wonder if you would kiss me every morning or if we would grow old together

Because you’re not changing and I want nothing more than to evolve into a different person

Someone who blossoms like the flowers after an April shower

I want to realize my worth the way people do in books

I want all of my ending chapters to be meaningful and adventurous

To leave you behind and the love I thought I would die without, is something in willing to trade for a happier life

There was something she was missing, some part of the puzzle piece.

Something wasn’t right and she couldn’t figure out what it was.

All she knew is that whenever she figured it out, she knew it was going to change her life.

She just couldn’t comprehend how much

But what do you do when no where feels like home?