is just another word for control freak.
But let me back up.

Who decided that things are FTW?
**** competition.
I apologize for line 4, but I wanted to make sure you know
I’m being serious.

Winning is meaningless.
The one thing the Arts had going for them
is gone.
It’s all about being the best
and it’s devastating G-d.

When I play my saxophone
at the right time with right mind
I swear John Coltrane
couldn’t recreate that.

When I write a poem
about truth or of it
I swear ee cummings couldn’t
have written it.

Expression is all that really matters,
but only to me.
The world doesn’t accept it, so
it doesn’t accept me.

That’s just the way it is.
I’m not concerned with success.
I’m not like all the rest.
I am happy and blessed.

Does my mind deceit me?
We’ll see
When I face Judge

This is my spirit leaking
       these are my dreams creeping
This is my soul seeking
       these are my bones creaking

This is my mind bending
       these are my words blending
This is my heart vending
        these are my thoughts fending

This is my breath heaving
         these are my fingers weaving
This is my world leaving
         these are my memories grieving

This is my blood rushing
         these are my lungs crushing
This is my luck flushing
          these are my veins gushing

When you are on the Pill
You should be off a lot of things
doubt, fear, surprise

but this is a different drug
a numbing heart warming
thundering ton of fun

slip sliding down
into another world
where you feel less and less

here is my take
you give up the best
when you fake it

upsetting, dredging, crushing
you figure you made a mistake
panic flares and the cramps assail

oh god, he said whining
your heart shivering
i thought you were

on the pill