You hate yourself for reasons I can't understand
Fathoming, pondering your small shaking hands
What you don't see in yourself, others do
Talented, beautiful, compassionate you
If you would use Paul McCartney to greatly inspire
You could be like him, if that's your desire
You have a future, a purpose that you can not see
But if you listen to anyone, listen to me
Stay strong, stand firm, don't let them be
The demons in your life, you can be free
Stay the way you are, which is your true beauty
Just let the peace in your life, **Ashley

I can try my hardest
but it'll never be
it's time to accept
that this is me.

I'll never be the girl with perfect makeup and hair
who's tiny and cute
and fun to snuggle
I'll never have a flat tummy
with a sweet smile
and sparkling eyes.
My slender face and figure
won't occupy your mind.

I'm not a party girl
no drugs or drink for me,
a good book
and quiet movie
are all I really need.

My laugh isn't girly and cute
my clothes are less than flattering.
I'm awkward in public
and even alone.
disorders prevent me
from doing what you could.
I'm not fun to hang out with
and I'm scared of everything.
My interests are abstract
and my mannerisms embarrassing.
I'm the girl no one talks to
or invites places.
and you have to look quite hard
because it seems I'm not even here.

But I will tell you this.
I'll love you with all my being
and trust my life in yours
I'm insecure
but I'll never take you for granted.
Never speak a word behind your back
be honest and kind-
and some nights I'll cry
because I'll always believe
that you deserve better than this.
better than Fish.

I'm not rare
not special.
not pretty or funny or clever.
I'm really nothing at all.
But I'll always be here.
no matter what you do
I'll sacrifice life and limb
charge a raging battle
do most anything it requires
if I can bring happiness to you.

as the sparks flew I felt my own helplessness
and naked, numb fear, and ignorance
at having smoked a cigarette in the only lonely
place I knew- what I had not considered
is that my secret place is full of dead leaves and dried needles
just waiting to be lit ablaze.

It's only cables that tie me to you now
Everytime I try to contact you I get shocked
My phone sits there on the coffee table, but it mys as well be my noose
Every text message I sent was just time spent induced
The idea of being with you is so abstract light bends obtuse

But we tried government and it became to powerful
Our markets were privatized and our thoughts of trade were never exchanged
Oland our military minds built thought tanks from broken memories

I remember those October clouds were like the fog of war
When the sky ripped open and tore the ozone
The conflict was swift but it would take time to repair it
You won the battle though, and your sovereignty became apparent

And here I am with this telephone just calling in air strikes
Missing every time
Because you don't care