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And

TRUE AS CAN BE

(We are)

••

there is ONLY PAIN
here



Hey!

Let's cut each other some slack

Okay?

••

Either a RICH KID or a POET?

!!!

(sure)

!!!

Come on!

EMERGE FROM THE

SELF CONTEMPT

EMERGE FROM THE

SELF DECEIT

••

(it's hard to think of you &

Write of beauty

All you tell me of is your pain

Or of the lover you wish to control and keep)

••
••

Yes!

Everything seems to be trying
To **** us!

••

Most of you are just little kids!



AND SO?

••

We walk so gingerly

We seek the Road to Real Hills

We know of the Gentlest
Most Enduring

POWER

••

today

(The PERPETUAL DAWN!)



you know that the path we are on leads only

To pain
Suffering

&
Death

(Real Death

NOT
Poetic death)

••

The TRUE MOUNTAIN

Is in your Heart

••

I will love you forever

&

Ever

••

What do you got to say ?
You are the wilted flower in the sea of the dead…
The last beautiful sign of a world forgot –
Your beauty stretches beyond the words,
Tipping over the cliffs of tongues,
Crashing into the abyss and swallowed –
Eaten whole,
Forgotten…
You are the last droplet of sun,
Kissing the horizon as you asunder from the day –
Leaving your taste in the sky,
Painted with the colors of your soul…
http://peterandtink.wordpress.com/2014/02/07/wilted-flower/
 Feb 2014 Julia Rae Irvine
E
i am most definitely your best friend
if
you
want
me
to
be.

i am most definitely the sun in the sky
if
you
see
it
as
so.

i am most definitely the snake in the garden
if
you
see
me
that
way.

i am most definitely the  lonely girl in the corner
since
i
see
me
that
way.
 Feb 2014 Julia Rae Irvine
E
once there was a boy
with zipped up lips and scars on his heart
he met a girl
they never spoke
she saw the slashes on his wrist
but she didn't know how to communicate
what it means to care
 Feb 2014 Julia Rae Irvine
E
my air conditioner is broken.
the attic is hot and humid.
the air swirls around slowly and lazily as if it isn't causing any discomfort.
as if isn't causing me to take off my shirt and stare at my scars.
pink, purple, white
it's a collage of colors no one would pay to see.
a heartbreaking representation of fragmented human souls left to hurt in peace.

my mind is broken.
my body is numb and miserable.
my thoughts bounce off the sides of my skull as if they weren't pouring salt into my wounds.
as if they weren't pointing at me and whispering to their friend about how grotesque i am.
fat, ugly, worthless
it's a novel of humanity no one would care to read.
a dying representation of why we weren't smiling that day at lunch.
 Feb 2014 Julia Rae Irvine
E
i don't know if i believe in religion.
i know i believe in god
and i believe in good.

i believe in papers scattered across a writer's desk.
i believe in band-aids covering blisters on a dancer's toes.
i believe in the sweat on an athlete's face.
i believe in the love of a best friend.

i believe in the heartache that comes with breathing.
i believe in the pain that comes with living.
i believe in the scars that come with hurting.
i believe in the color red that comes with not believing.
 Feb 2014 Julia Rae Irvine
E
mirrors
 Feb 2014 Julia Rae Irvine
E
i hate mirrors.
usually because i hate what glares back at me.
there's an awful moment of realization that
i
can't
change.

i hate mirrors recently
because ten minutes ago i didn't recognize the eyes staring back at me
looking for answers.
the meaning of life
how to not be sad
what to do when you want to die.
i don't know how to change that either.
 Feb 2014 Julia Rae Irvine
E
it was stupid, really.
nothing more than a glitch in the usual system
     just a little bump.
but then you left and
i
couldn't
breathe.
heart pumping
breath racing
fingers shaking.
unintentional
self-inflicted
suffocation.
i can still feel my ribs against my arms when i
     hugged my stomach
looking somewhere
     a  n  y  w  h  e  r  e
for
air.
let me tell you something
breathing is so incredibly simple
     until it's not.
 Feb 2014 Julia Rae Irvine
E
my mind is a black hole of unwanted necessities.
merely a trash pile of heartbroken memories.
a garbage can of 'what-ifs'.
too many corners,
not enough time.
too many songs,
not enough rhyme.
i want to run
i want to climb
i want to expand the endless borders
   of my only mind.
why
can't
it
happen.
why
can't
it
be?
why am i made up of just disheartened memories?
my landscape is soft
my scars are sad
why do i only want all the things that i once had?
beaten-down borders represent
   where i once stood.
i always swore that i would never be anything but good.
i can't say that what you've done to me makes me glad
but dear mind,
   at least now i appreciate what i once had.
 Feb 2014 Julia Rae Irvine
E
when I was five, my parents gave me a book about a rainbow fish instead of the princess one I wanted. waterworks began.

when I was six, I checked out a book from the school library about the tooth fairy. I read it over and over again because I was too nervous to return it.

when I was seven, I started taking dance lessons. my teacher had bright blonde hair that she always kept in a ponytail. I wanted to be exactly like her.

when I was eight, I learned how to write in cursive. I made a point of showing my teacher how the lowercase 's' looked like a Hershey's Kiss.

when I was nine, I wrote an essay for school about a cat. my teacher told me I didn't have to revise like the other kids because I had already written it so well. I was ecstatic.

when I was ten, my best friend moved away and I cut my hair short. it was the first time I had to learn how to start over.

when I was eleven, I argued myself to tears on the playground, thus discovering passion.

when I was twelve, I almost tripped down the stairs after school every day because I refused to put my book down.

when I was thirteen, I made my way into a group of friends that had hearts of gold and eyes of steel. we felt invincible.

when I was fourteen, I watched as by best friend silently collapsed into a heap of tiny, broken pieces. I learned that the nicest people can be incredibly hard headed.

now I'm fifteen. I don't know everything, but I do understand that life never goes as planned. I understand that we are wonderfully accustomed to adapting to unprecedented circumstances. I understand that picking yourself up off the bathroom floor time and time again takes strength and resilience. I understand that you're good at being you, and that is always a compliment.
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