A face with a mask is a person with a deepest and tragic past.
A face with a fake smile is a person who want to take a rest for a while.
A face with love in the eyes is a person who knows how to try.
A face with a mask, fake smile and love in the eyes is a person who live in a world full of lies.

I'm not alone yet I feel so lonely.
I rather have a flying ability than this invisibility.
I want to feel their love again whole heartedly,
I want to be happy with them beffitingly.

I'm happy outside yet I feel the cold inside,
The sun is setting yet winter have their love to ride.
The icy wave of tears in my pillow became a wild tide,
Drowning me in till I force myself to dive in.

So I wear the mask, the fake smile, and the love in my eyes.
It's okay, I wear the mask so that they can't see me in pain.
It's fine, I have a fake smile to make the pain disappear for a minute.
Don't worry, I will never take the love from my eyes cause' it's my tie that holds them in my heart.

I wear them to bear the coldness in their eyes.
I have them to make sure they will make a good lies.
I'm not good with "I love you's" but I hate "good bye's".
I don't have the strength to stop it but I'm doing it so I won't cry.

I don't want to leave with this unique and gloomy heart bruises.
I don't want to gave another path with traces.
I don't want to look in people's smiling yet fake faces.
I will keep my mask so no one can give me another heartache.

One, two and three. I counted my tears,
as the idea become so clear.
Four, five and six. I counted my heart beat,
as my fear grows to hold my feet.

Seven, my hands are trembling.
Tears keeps on falling.
My heart started shouting.
Hope keeps on fading.

Eight, I wish it was a joke.
One word yet it made my heart broke.
I'm looking for a miracle.
Yet finding it, is hard cause' I'm too weak.

Nine, life is about not being fair.
Life is about making a dare.
Life is about not to care,
but I can't help it I can't bare my despair.

Ten, I'm scared not for my life.
I'm scared for someone who can't survive.
Tears with fears are drowning me in,
Wishes, Miracles are nothing with my Prayers for him.

I prayed for him not for me,
I tried to be me but I can't break free.
My eyes starting to be blurry,
blame it on tears and fears staying beside me.

Here we go again,
tears are falling like rain.
Life is now being insane,
and every part of my heart feels every pain.

Dying isn't my goal,
but now I'm thinking if I should fall.
Life is so unfair,
I'm now quiting in every dare.

I can do anything,
but don't push me with everything,
I'm not a toy nor a thing,
I'm alive and I can feel any pain like a human being.

I can fall easily,
I can quit,
I can **** myself,
if that's what you want me to do.

I can hang myself,
I can stab my heart,
I can easily drink a poison,
or even drowned myself in a tub.

I can begged for my life,
I can surrender my own life,
I can trash my effing life,
I can do every wrong if that's what you want.

Can't you see?
I can't think straight,
I can't fight,
I can't even stand.

I'm quitting,
You can now live happily,
you don't have to worry about me,
I'm happy to know that you are happy seing me dying.

I quit!

"I'm fine"
"It's okay"
"I'm good"
and flash a smile

Nonsense!
I'm not fine, don't you see?
It's not okay, understand it please.
I'm not good, I can't find peace.

Get the rope!
No, pick the knife!
Choose the poison!
thoughts roaming around my insane brain.

I'm tired,
I'm lost,
I'm lonely,
I feel nothing.

I'm stuck,
I'm suicidal,
I'm choosing,
Live or sleep?

I got the rope,
put it high in the living room,
thinking if I should do it,
but I changed my mind.

I picked the knife,
pointed it on my heart,
thinking if I should stab it.
but then I put it down.

I chose the poison,
put it on a glass,
thinking if I should drink it,
but I tossed it in the garbage.

I looked in the mirror,
with my big brown fluffy eyes,
tired of crying,
wish on dying.

School,
Projects,
Paper works,
And stress.

Tears are falling in line,
ready to flow,
ready to crawl,
ready to fall.

I made my way in the bathroom,
locked up the door and got up in the tub,
I closed my eyes and started mesmerizing everything,
Started to think those darned times to welcome myself in darkness.

before I fall asleep
I said, "goodbye for nothing"
as I closed my eyes, I felt the water enter my body,
tears are on my eyes and I drowned myself while smiling.

Wanna know my secret?
It's about me wishing you were mine.
and I have something to tell you,
I don't know but I think I love you.

Wanna know my favorite color?
It is called black but I used to love red.
I change it for the reason red is not essential for my heart,
you broke my heart that's why red becomes black.

Wanna know why I feel this way?
It all started when you said all those lies.
Lies that I kept on believing,
Lies that makes me fight for nothing.

Wanna know why I fought?
you said you love me but I heard you wrong,
you said I'm beautiful but you just made a lie,
you said I'm cute but you just said it like a joke.

Can I wait until you are ready to be mine?
Can I hope that there's a chance?
Can I just fall upon without getting hurt?
Can I just love you without any conflicts? but then I'm asking for nothing.