I hate myself
But Im gonna try to keep living
I just wanna know why I cant use the brain that I've been given
Every time I wanna study I need ******* adderall
Maybe its cuz I don’t have a ****** brain at all
I cant stand this awful ****** up life that I've been living
For god sakes put down the ****** cell phone for two minutes
I want success so bad that I can ******* taste it
But instead of reading books
All I do is copy and paste it
And scribble these words on a page while I’m wasting my time
**** I can’t even be motivated by a dollar sign
When did the rise come? before the fall?
Cuz right now I feel like I cant get up at all
I literally don’t know if I can feel anything at all
And I wanna scream all the way down the ****** hall
But nobody can hear me so I’ll probably tweet this gay ****
Then go into the bathroom and beat my gay ****
Honestly I think its all I’m good for at this moment
I made my girl sick of me and not cuz my ***** is potent
But literally because I ******* think with my ****
I might be sick and now I’m just sick of being a *****
I thought I was a true man and now I’m unsure
If this is true love then I don't want it anymore
I thought i was someone else I thought I was real
But I danced with the devil and he made me a deal
An offer I couldn’t refuse, that made I wound I’ll never heal
He said I’ll turn off your mind so you don’t have to use it
Now you go out and use your slick words and make up excuses
Start using your **** and smoke **** til you abuse it
Start turning off the light in your mind until you lose it
Then hate your ******* self and wonder why you have these bruises
Wonder why your friends hate you and your dreams were shorted
***** SHUT THE **** UP YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED
I made myself sick that’s why I look this way
And I’ll still be sick until the day I change my ways
But I’m too ******* dumb now to fix my past
“Hey JT lets go drink ***** and chase some ***”
“Okay sounds good, because **** a commitment”
are you serious dude your ******* worse than an infant!
You really don’t deserve anything at all
You’re a coward and I really hope you always fall
Hope you always fail because of what you did
you were a mistake and don't ******* forget it kid
Your parents didn’t want you so they left without a thought of you
And now you have some parents that really ******* love you
But you must have a ******* guardian angel above you
You must have done something right cuz no one has hung you
Honestly cut off the bad fruit from the tree
**** the lies ive told and replace them with honesty
Honestly, I do not want this life anymore
I gave up the girl I loved for some dumb ******* *****
How dumb are you to have to be to be doing any of this
You should slit your wrists drink a 5th and jump off a bridge
That’s why now my fam hates me and I have no friends
And I’ll read this to myself any time I get too high
Just to remind myself of all the **** I let pass by
And how I’ll never know any real truth or love
I just wanna curse out all the skies above
And if I’m reading this to you don’t feel bad for me please
I’m the one who put himself down on his own two knees
And crawled *** backwards into my own nightmares
I thought it was all a dream now I cry real tears
And honestly I’m done **** it I don’t care
I just wish I could fix the things I know I can’t repair
Who is that? The one with the ugly *** face
Oh that’s jt he used to ******* run this place
Til he sold his ******* soul and he lost his mind
Now he’s a puddle of nothing and he must be blind
He cannot see what he’s done and he does not care
I look hard but I don’t see myself anywhere