My mind decided to go
on vacation.
My thoughts are sporadic.
The only time I feel centered
is when I'm drunk.
Drinking after work and
a lot more on the weekends.
Waking up in yards,
and not remembering how
I got there.
Last night I was dancing,
and broke my toe.
Woke up this morning with
a hangover and my foot was
the size of a football.

Now, my mind is back.
Checked in to the hotel
of my skull.
I'm hoping it stays awhile
and helps me make
better decisions.

I don't want to be like this
anymore.
I want to be happy
and not mentally
or physically
sore.

I want to smile
because things go right
not because someone
bought me a shot.

Good things are coming
I can feel it.
I'm just too ****
impatient.

This little girl dropped her iPhone 6s Plus
outside of WaWa tonight.
No more than 12 years old.
The phone hit the ground
shattered,
but not as much as the little girls heart.
Falling to her knees, crying,
clutching her chest
like a wife learning her husband
died.
Her heart broke.

Her eyes filled up with water
like a bird bath
in a hurricane.

Screaming at the top of her lungs,
"WHYYY?!?!"

I could only hope for her sake
that's the only heart break
that she will ever feel.
Because dropping a phone
is nothing
compared
to a life
alone.

Two o’clock in the morning.
She’s standing on the sidewalk
In front of his house
Her lips are blue
Like that of a drowning victim.
Her quivering, shaky little body
Caused her blue lips to
Crack
Like an earthquake.
It’s raining.
She stands in all black flats
In a puddle up to her
Ankles.
She stares at the front door.
She contemplates going
Back in.
She can’t stomach the fact
She will never be here again.
The rain caused her make up
To drift down her cheeks
As if she was crying
She wasn’t.
She’s passed that now.
She’s so numb to emotions.
Emotions, redundant emotions.
Happiness only lasts for a second
compared to a second of sadness
that can last a millennia.

Heartbroken, yet,
content.
She knew it was the end
the inevitable end
to something she thought
magical.

She lets out a tiny chuckle
backs up to the point
her heels hang off the curb.

Two o’clock in the morning
a car comes speeding down the
road.
She takes a breath in
exhales slowly.
So silently she voices,

“Good-bye.”

She fall backwards off the curb
headlights brighten up her face.
The door to the dreaded house
opens.

“I love you.”

She's laying on
my couch.
Wrapped up
in my old school
Pokemon blanket.

She's sleeping.

She wasn't feeling
well,
fever and all,
so I invited her over.
I wanted to take care of her.

I got her a McChicken
(That's what she wanted)
Medium Dr.Pepper.
I rubbed her back,
and now,
She's sleeping.

I don't normally smile
while I write.
Right now,
my cheeks hurt
because I can't stop.

She's so beautiful.

It's not every day
you catch
an angel
napping on
your couch.

Her eyes are like
Stars
And ****,
Do I love stargazing.

Her smile is bright
But, I wouldn’t mind
Going blind.

Her laugh is contagious,
An epidemic,
If you will.

My heart beats
So loud I can’t
Hear myself think.
Not a day goes by
She doesn’t cross
My mind.

Oh Julia,
Please be mine.
My love will
Stand the test
Of time.
Oh Julia,
Please be mine.

They say pain changes
people.
They say it can
make a person completely
lose touch with who they were
before whatever broke them.

Pain changed me.
I laugh at things that
would make most cringe.
I bully people with sarcasm
to make it seem like I’m joking,
when I’m really not.
I’m ******, blunt, and I couldn’t
give two *****.

On the other hand,
pain changed me,
and made me a better person.
Made me realize no one deserves
to feel the pain I felt.
to withstand the heartache I did.
To consume so much anger,
and have nowhere to toss it.

We all have our pros,
we all have our cons.

Let pain change you.
It’s supposed to.
Let love consume you to the
point of no return.
It’s going to anyway.

Just remember…

Lucifer was once an angel.

I met this girl.

In the most awkward way.

She had the face of
an angel,
the body of a model,
and a personality best served with
celery.

I met her in a curious way.
A friend of mine
had a crush on her.
he was a lonely fellow,
a shy fellow,
and an insecure guy.
I forced him to hang out with her.
I brought him to her house, and claimed,

“I’m here for you, buddy.”

But let me tell you the regret
I felt when she walked out that door.
She was so bright,
she illuminated the secluded, dark, back street
she lived on
so much
the street lights were jealous.

She waved,
she smiled.

I knew exactly why my friend
had feelings for this girl.
The hardest part was,
now I did too.

We all became really close,
we talked all night every night.
One day, we went to the park
and I kissed her.
Sparks.
Fireworks.
Rainbows.
******’ UNICORNS
came out of the woodwork.
It was horrifyingly amazing.
It was like something out of a
terribly written
Disney movie.

I ended up dating this girl,
and almost lost a friend.
This girl broke my heart,
and I got my friend back.

Six years later,
an engagement gone wrong,
and my friend has been happily
committed to someone else.

And now I find myself
sitting here now,
thinking about the girl
who could make the street lights
jealous.
Thinking about her laugh
and how she hits me
when I pick on her.

How she believes in ghosts;
and how I find that ridiculous.
How she tries to
play it off like
she some ‘Hard *** Mo’Fo’.
But I know deep down she’s broken,
like me.
Her eyes are a gateway
to a place so far away.
A place where nothing can harm you.
Hearts don’t get broken,
tears don’t shed,
and love is energy.
I bought my ticket
to enter,
I hope it’s not too late
To catch that flight.

I want the chance to make her smile.
I want the chance to make her happy.
I want the girl
who can make the
streetlights jealous.