marred by convention
wearing tradition like a blinding bandage
it slings itself across my eyes
justice is blind
but not
in this way,
not in the binding way.
i never imagined I wore tradition on my forehead
i never imagined I had convention choking out my mind
the lack of oxygen to the brain...
i still desire to change.

Please
Teach me how to become something more
To love and to care
Without any judgement
Teach me how to untie the blindfold
And make my eyes healed to see...
I still desire to change.

the question now:
how can I?

I miss him
I’ve taken to imagining him beside me when I get lonely or really anxious
I don’t talk out loud or anything
But it usually makes me feel better
Or I cry
One or the other

I feel so pathetic right now.
That could just be the drinking.

I miss you
I was doing so well
Without you
And now I miss you
All over again
It hurts so deeply
That you are falling out of love with me
And there’s nothing
I can do
To get you back

she takes a deep breath
her soul is on fire

she coughs up smoke
her lungs are burning
she sips on the water
but it just scalds her throat

she takes a deep breath
it won't be long.
her soul is on fire
her head's all wrong

there are noises in her head
there's a pounding in her skull
everything's blurry-
soon she'll be dead

she takes a deep breath,
her very last one
her soul was on fire
...

and now
it is done

I did not know
Love was a competition or a fraud
Is love a symbol of hope after all
Or but a shadow
Carried by death
As a mark on my door for eternity

I don’t think my brain is working clearly

I’m 19
And I’ve caused more pain
In my short time
Then most middle aged adults
What I’ve done is irreversible
And therefore
Unforgivable
Unfixable
I deserve to die

The pain I’ve caused
Calls for my blood
The people I’ve destroyed
Call out for my end

As do I -
So blood was spilt
Now I will pay it all back

Someone tell me how to stop being afraid
Did u know
Stonewall
Was a riot
But rioting still happens
50 years later
The violence will never stop
And neither will the fear
Still fighting ignorance
50 years later
Someone tell my black friends how to stop being afraid
Did you know
Wars
Were fought for freedom
centuries ago
But we are.
Still.
fighting racism and bigotry.
Centuries later
The violence will never stop
And neither will the fear
Still battling inequality
Centuries later

why.
Are we still all afraid of each other?

you had a dream about our first apartment
about the soft glowing light
and the scents made sweet by our love
you had a dream about our future

let's make it a reality.

My numb little shell
I’m trying to tell the truth
I am the bad guy
I know I’m the villain
It bothers me when people try to
Make me feel better
For the ****** things I’ve done
A villain’s actions are not compromised
There are no pathetic attempts of
Following the better path
Only the destruction of the good remains
When you have done evil to another
Accept it
Throw pride away
Quake in fear at what you have caused
And then pick up
And start all over
Even if you have work twice as hard to rebuild

Violence of the mind.

black holes.
they come swallowing everything whole

dripping jaws.
they come tearing at chunks of fresh flesh

war of the mind.
gunshots gouged in blood wet heads
spears stabbing through blood wet sides
knives nestled in blood wet necks

madness-
of the mind.

Come one! Come all!
Come see the sickest sight of all!
this madness of the mind
i see it clear,
when i look in the mirror.

the stars seem to whisper your name tonight
every night the wind reminds me of your touch
the dark dances with me,
just a shadow of you
Morning come
Your phantom has left me
You fall like dust through my fingers
and you are lost till sun sets-
when
once again
i walk with your ghost

i'm so afraid
          that when you leave
                            you'll find your better off
without me

i don't see
i don't hear
i don't know
i don't understand
i don't imagine
i don't create

idontFEEL

WHAT DID YOU DO WITH ME, MY SOULMATE

You have a pen and more than just ink
Let it caress your body
Take your mind far away
and I will wander the starry night
Trailing right behind you
A friend in tow
On your wild adventures
An artist unable to draw
Hoping to capture
A fleeting image
Of their ever changing Wonder
Dance on smoke with me
My dear
And let’s wander the night
Together

i thought i knew you
i guess i never really did
...
can i ever hope

to get to know you again?

No matter how i try
i cannot have

what has already left