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 Apr 2013 Josh Koepp
Alice Baker
Look at her
Her perfectly streamed hair of blond and amber
And that tiny waist.

Oh the way he looks at her
Like the last flower on earth and he a lonely bee
Her brightness draws him in.

Fine.
She can have what she wants.
I have no interest in competition.

But look how sweet he is!
With his lips so perfectly placed at kissable height
And his arms so tight around me.

Oh the way we talk!
Diving into the past as if discovering another world.
He fascinates me.

Wait.
I must have what I want.
I have no interest in competition.
Be new here and question
     What it all could mean for you
Become familiar here and marvel
     At all that you can learn
Earn a space here and discover
     Through your errors and failed attempts,
          Your shortcomings
Spend enough time here and realize
     Everybody falls short somewhere
Spend more time here and theorize
     Your wounds mean far more than any others
Grow up here and fortify
     Your weaknesses into strengths
          Your scars into shields
Grow old here and know
     Your scars weigh much less with time
          It's the scars of those close to you
     That become the burden
Grow wise here and learn
     Your wounds mean far less than any others
Die here and understand
     The body is just a vessel

          Eventually,
     It all fades away
The ice sifting in my glass
melts as the full moon sets
Another vice, constricting,
like a tightly wound corset
I can't be around so many people
in such familiar atmospheres
without a mixed drink and a cigarette
intervening through my beers

On her phone, at the table
She seems alone but not ashamed
I wonder if a single person here
could even guess her name
For a little liquid courage
I finish up my drink
I transfer to a closer chair
and ask on what she thinks

"I've got a past consumed by lovers
and a future filled with death
But the only thing I've ever wanted
was someone else inside my head
I want to hear somebody understand
that I don't always feel so fine"
I think I start to fall in love
as she pirouettes her glass of wine

She tells me how she grew up
on shattered hopes and dreams
Yet everything she's ever needed
has been well within her reach
The scars that she has
they paint a vivid history
A reminder of the past
A tour guide, makeshift, just for me

We talk a little longer
We joke and we sing
Halfway through her bottle
her ride informs us she's leaving
She says "I think I'm gunna miss you
when I'm alone laying in bed
Unless you want to take me there
and tuck me in instead"

We head out to the main street
where I hail us a taxi
She says she wants to split my headphones
and hear something relaxing
So we listen to Alcoa
Cab Rides & Cigarettes
I never knew that such a sad song
Could evoke such an affect




I dropped
her off
and left

But I'm glad
that we
had met
 Apr 2013 Josh Koepp
Alice Baker
And we step into our reality
The way mothers dive into age
With caution, regret, and resistance.
 Mar 2013 Josh Koepp
marina
choke
 Mar 2013 Josh Koepp
marina
i can't dive right in anymore-
i gave up baby steps
when i thought life
was about taking chances,
but i take it back

i can't do this anymore

i need somebody to guide me slowly
so i don't choke,
because i'm terrified of drowning now
after all the times i've been
held under for too long

(thank you for knowing this
and keeping me afloat)
seriously.  you were a life raft and you still are and i think you're beautiful.
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