The rest of our lives
seem so far away
where will we go
and where will we stay

when home grows old
and the city is breathing
when we pack all of our bags
and tell our parents we’re leaving

do we spend a couple grand
to get ourselves an education
do we settle into a job
or find a vibrant vocation

what do we want to be
when we are fully grown
a husband or wife
living in a lively home

or a traveler of the world
moving from town to town
never stay anywhere too long
and never settling down

what will become of us
in this life that awaits
I’ll close my eyes, and make a wish
and leave the rest up to the fates

I close my eyes and I’m there
sitting in a rustic country home
the wall paper, yellowed and peeling
I look around, I’m all alone

there are photo albums strewn about
full of faces I can’t quite recall
but still I know each person in them
I spew tears  staring at them all

the sun slips through the windows
it shines gold as it’s slowly setting
I sit in it’s  amber glowing haze
there is some one that I’m forgetting

I can feel the hole inside my heart
which they used to fill so tightly
as the sun sets in the west
I think about you nightly

If I played piano
I would write you a song
but I don’t, so I won’t
it’d just come out all wrong

If I knew how to dance
I’d swing with you all the night
but I don’t, so I won’t
my feet wouldn’t move right

If I sang beautifully
I would serenade you to sleep
but I don’t, so I won’t
I won’t utter a peep

If I could paint or draw
I’d picture you and I
but I don’t, so I won’t
I won’t even try

If I could make you fall in love
then I’d make you fall for me
but I can’t, so I rant
about what’ll never be

Is this is what I was destined to be
fighting with you in the dead of night
saying all of the exactly wrong things
in a feeble attempt to make things right

You’re tired of the “I’m sorry”s
they have gone stale in your ears
they’ve been said too many times
in choked voices through thick tears

I just want to stop the fighting
I just want see that smile of yours
the one that pacifies my screams
the bright one, the one that always cures

but instead I just dig in deeper
until the tears start their stream
I wish I could just wake from it
like every fight was just a bad dream

crying ourselves to sleep nightly
push it out and lay my head to rest
Hoping that I’ll wake to a new dream
Take a breath and hope for the best

I want to taste your skin
and see how it makes you shake
you'd think that I’d like you more
with all the love that we make

I’m just here to ease my mind
of my own lonely lowly life
I’m not looking for a mate
I’m not looking for a wife

I’m in it for something primal
for each urge and utterance
I’m here for selfish reasons
for my ego’s own exultance

I’m here to make you quiver
just to show that I’m capable
turn you in to putty in my hands
just to prove that you’re shapeable

I want to taste your skin
and the spirit that lingers under
I want to be a flash of lightening
and leave you alone with the thunder

My lips call your name
with no instruction to do so
my tongue whispers the words
I didn’t want you to know

love, love, love
that four-letter word
the one that came so quick
that I hope you hadn’t heart

“What”, she says quickly
is it out of her not hearing,
or hearing and protesting?
it is the latter I’m fearing

“Oh no, nothing, nothing”
I so quickly, so sadly utter
“I love you too” she speaks.
my heart is instantly butter

I want to taste your anger, your fear, your worries
your lies, your cries, your demise
I wanna taste your heart, your skin,
your thighs thighs thighs
those black skies in your blue, blue eyes

I want to make you sweat sweat sweat
I’ll spend your soul and send you the debt
a girl out in the rain, soaking wet

I want to ruin your form,
your reason for being,
freeing all that’s screaming.
under that skin skin skin.
sin sin sin.

Going out and coming in,
going out and coming in.

I’ll be your debt your death,
your bet your breath.
I’ll be your debt you death,
Your bet you breathe.

If you only let me be.
Let me see. Let me see.
We could be, we could be.
Quite the catastrophe