By Joseph Childress

I'm not afraid of heights
I'll get high
Just to prove it
My wreck-less-ness
Should let you know
What's expected
Resting miles above danger
Enjoying the unexpected
My lack of uncontrol
Is enough to annoy
Those aiming for control
I own
A random nature
Mixed with structures
Of my choosing
I'm losing
The laws of physics
Being lifted
In the physical
Living on a plane
That lands on open lanes
Yet prone
To being blown
From pressure on it's propellers
The dwellers of trenches
Are perched on their benches
The field of clouds
Are for those out
Making yards out of inches
Taking chances
Dancing
On top of storms
Learning
To dodge the lightning
And living above the norm

You're a myth
I'm the conspiracy theorist
My predictions proved accurate
To bachelorettes
In need of witch doctors
I came equipped
With a portfolio pertaining
More to psuedoscience
Than pharmaceutical
They marvel
At my hypothetical
Dream conjuring
But you're more than watcher
You are the observation
Please,
For the sake of science
Let me bring
Your dark mysteries to light
The laws
Of the impossible will be rewritten
In your name
Save me
From the enclaves
Of society
With scientists who doubt
Supernature
Expose your perfection
My ambition
Claims I discovered you
Because Nobel's Peace Prizes
Aren't given to spirits
Yours kept me alive
Without medication
The cure
For all ailments
A killer of pain
A passer of time
With controls
To slow
Or explode it
I'm devoted
To the micro-
And telescopes
In hopes
To set sight
And tell the scope
Of possibilities

For every fail
I promise
To prevail tenfold
I'll multiply exponentially
In the multitude of exponents
I've handled carelessly
Through the years
The hearts affected
May never repair
I'll repent
Whether forgiven
Or forbidden
In hopes to console
Know
I have control
Regardless
Of regard or disregarded
I've discarded
All rocks
And hardplaces
That reside in my heart
I've guarded
Insecurity for far too long
I've longed
For disarmament
Like peace keepers
And prayed
For the tearing down
Of these walls
Like Germans from Berlin
Since 1989
My history tells
A story of falls
And progression
Transgressions
From past sessions
In classes
Of no interest
Now
Shows current
Though currency
Can never measure success
I owe
So much to you
And myself

By Joseph Childress

This was all expected
Though
Not intended
I've been waiting for this moment
Of contentment
I knew this
Was temporary
Rarity at it's finest
To find
The kind
Within you
This was meant
This was unpreventable
The ability
To love from such a distance
The physical properties
Physicists research arduously
Is hardly relevant
Our spirits connected
Synched
Without wires
We became electric
Telepathically
Put aside
Our pathetic attempts
At being unsympathetic
And agreed
For once
For final
For I know
Our wants
Are far more than what we need
And these
Past few years
We're important

Thank you.

I try to pretend we're different
But in the end
We're all the same

Who am I to change
Then claim evolution
For myself
And I
My selfish eyes
Saw two more
In the mirror
Foresight
Like glasses
To help focus
Reflections
Can change over time
Like
When puddles run dry
Or ponds turn drought
I hope
With the heart of a thousand soldiers
These tears
Will last long enough
For me to remember
The pain
I usually sleep through the rain
So summer thunders
Under sunlight and lightning
Are often forgotten
Half-experienced
Like a half-hearted attempt
At commitment
Resented
As the public at large
Resends there sentiment
Only to be denied
At the front door

The courage
It takes
To approach the front porch
Of recluse
And extend in invitation
Should be enough
To impress me
However,
Returning to society
Is a leap of faith
That even bravery
Can't help me take

I try to pretend we're different
But in the end
We're all the same

Who am I to change
Then claim evolution
For myself
And I
My selfish eyes
Saw two more
In the mirror
Foresight
Like glasses
To help focus
Reflections
Can change over time
Like
When puddles run dry
Or ponds turn drought
I hope
With the heart of a thousand soldiers
These tears
Will last long enough
For me to remember
The pain
I usually sleep through the rain
So summer thunders
Under sunlight and lightning
Are often forgotten
Half-experienced
Like a half-hearted attempt
At commitment
Resented
As the public at large
Resends there sentiment
Only to be denied
At the front door

The courage
It takes
To approach the front porch
Of recluse
And extend in invitation
Should be enough
To impress me
However,
Returning to society
Is a leap of faith
That even bravery
Can't help me take

"Could've"
Can be a cold word
The shadow of regret
"Chance"
Has a silhouette
With enhanced details
That show over time
Chants and rants
On the definition
Of the enchanted emotion
So much power
And so little time
To learn how to use it
Still,
It's never useless
I say
Never use less
Words than needed
Or else
"Could've" will become you

Heart for rent!
This is more garage sale
Than outlet
Although expensive
This ***** is salvage
Salvation comes with a price tag
And a lot of baggage
But the energy
This heart provides
Will have you begging
To keep it
Forever
However,
This product is only
For rent
Different than others
Lent with intent
Of making future imprints
On others
Loaned to loners
Mourning mothers,
Missing fathers
Dead brothers
Widows, winos, weirdos and
Lust lovers
Uncover what's beneath
And know
The feeling is only temporary

Aches
From old mistakes
How foul have I been speaking?
Cracked smiles
From cavities
Causing a crevice in my teething
The price of penny candy
Is pain
Cheap sweets as artificial
As half-hearted attempts
To show love
Dove's chocolate boxes
Mean less
Harm than my intentions
Teeth missing
From grins
As grim as what I'm eating

By Joseph Childress

Shells
On the sea shore
Share sounds from the ocean
She tells deep stories
Of unknown territories

From what lies beneath
Where no man has reached
To the land of the beach
In my hand, you teach
The shortcomings of speech

I learn lessons
On how to listen
Admiring the mussels
Of mollusks
Their tongue
I cant I see
Yet they scream "I'm free"

By Joseph Childress

Backyard parties
Are more free
Then open houses
No limit power
Sky ceilings
And ground floorings
Flourished
On earth's home
Earth tone colors
And bright flowers
Compliment one another
Feng shui settings
Decorated by nature
Greet guests
And shade neighbors
This lawn is alive
So my backyard is favored

By Joseph Childress

I have a few free words
To say
Before I'm closed off
In Pelican's Bay
Unnatural Life
An imprisonment threat
To society
With a promise
Kept
Behind steel cages
The metal ribs dishearten soul
Confined solitary
On compounds
That house double dorms
Of noise and solitude
Silently roaring
In a single cell

Ghost writer
Or rider?
That is the question!
Either way
I'll lose my rights
The rite of passage
Was blocked off
The will
To move foward is missing
With nothing
To spare
I'm tired of making marks
In the lane I chose
This road
I wrote has dead ends
I know
I'm just afraid
Scared and terrified
They say phrases
Sacred and terrific
However,
I lost poetic license
And the drive to keep moving
On road to success

Naked you
Unclothed
Derobed
Disdressed
Addressed with my heart on
My sleeve

Who needs these
Rags anyway
In a way
Your vision is X-ray
You see what lies beneath

Regardless
Of white tees
You sensed
My heartbeats
Like artichokes
Underground
Knowing my heart’ll choke
If you’re not around

The seed
Grows
Into the giving tree
That relives
Incarnation
Like bouquet’s of carnations
That die
On dining room tables
Relived
Reloved
In living room sessions
Deflowered in front
Of fireplaces

The heat of the moments’
Enough to slow time
So the most
Can be made of
With nothing to be mad of
Because
Nothings on
Accept us

Our body
Of lies
Is useless when our bodies lie
Together
Love letters
Aren’t needed
Because we let us
Become
Intermixed
With our mixed feelings
Yet
Our intent
Is known
When together
We’ll let our
Differences go
And show
Nothing
But ourselves

Happiness & Misery

I tend to compliment
My confidence
With complaints
On how common place
My plain
Life is
The great times
In complexity
Simply
End
Too quickly
Being me
Became a meme
A trend
A fad
That lasts temporarily
As I change
The wardrobe
Of my beliefs
To best suit the situation
For times of war
Or times of peace
Offering myself
A sacrificial ME
Should suffice
For their superficial
Needs
Supplying their demand
Of wants
The difference they cannot see
I
No better than them
No better
Than what they seek
Not realizing
I
In this life
Is all I need
To proceed
To “ever after”
Happily

The other
Side of my brain
Supplies
The pain
And suffering
Inside of me
Ushering
The alternative
Reality
To my native
Faculty of thoughts
Felicity fails
And the facility
Of fury
Derails
My train of thought
This casualty
Casually causes
The worst case scenario

The battle within
Never ends
Each state of mind
Debates with
Indubitable facts
And stats
To seal my fate
The future lies
In mystery
Happiness
Or misery?
The answers hard to see
I still don’t cant find the key
To unlock the doors
To happiness in misery…

OccupyWallStreet : The First Front

The laborious efforts of Liberty
Will not go
Unnoticed
Untelevised revolution
Witnessed
By mute voices
Til the crowd joins in
The media’s immediate
Covering of the story
Takes on a new meaning
Internet live streaming
American Dreaming
Of the Awakening
The world’s been waiting for
Bullhorns blow
As the
The Bull’s horns
Are approached
With a silent crashing
The whole world
Will remember
The 17th of September
Backed against the wall
The public confronted the Wall
Streets filled with peace
Protesters who speak
For the rights of the peopl
The %99

The Wildest Conclusion

Who are you
To tell me
My thoughts
Aren't worth being heard
I deserve
And demand my rights
I might
Shout amendments
First,
Then commence
To irregular common sense

My stability
Is retained
By the imbalance
In my brain
You see,
I can't enable
These "Cain and Able" angels
That rest on your shoulders
Because
I ain't able

Fables
Fly out the mouth
Of an astounding author
His sound
Is profound
His prowess authorized
By his copy written
Signature
Which is his style
Italicized and laid back
Now,
Crack open
Another pack of pens
And draw out
The wildest conclusions
In deep thought
Then listen...

.The world disapproves.

The extent
Of my intentions
Were wilder than I could imagine
So I didn't know
I would take it this far

The words written
Were forbidden
In the foulest belief system
I wouldn't have wrote them
If my outrageous mind
Wasn't dying
From boredom
Boarding off the monsters
That alter ideas
From beneath the bed
They reach my head
And toy with my
Emotions
Tantalize and
Taint my tender mind
Then morph it
To be the tainter!

To picture death
You'll need help
From this
Morbid painter

Why do I
Write so wickedly
Then spread like pandemics
It's
Pandemonium momentarily
Shared with you
With whatsoever
You should do

With

Evil knowledge
Is truth
Look in your hands
I say
"Vice is right"
Can I persuade?
Like a gun used to
****** a murderer

Some executions
Are executed
At the exact moment
Of redemption

How tempting
Is it for
A wholesome man
To make
A half-hearted attempt
At prosperity
Sparingly
Laying in Evil's bed
But never staying

When he awakes
Will he use the tools
Because he learned the trade
Or teach others
To not
It's hard to reach others
When all they believe
Is a happy ending
I conclude
But
The true ending
You can't imagine
Because it's too wild
For you.

Searching for Santa

I searched for Santa
In the skies
All I saw
Was the stars

I looked
For a Bunny
During Easter
I found
Out they laid
No eggs

The Toothfairy
Told me
She put money
Under my pillow
But
My mother
Kissed me goodnight

Love
Is the only thing
I need
On valentines day
**** a valentine

Why do they
Always try to get me
To spend money?

I work hardest on Sunday
And never take
A day off
I give
More than ten percent
To those I love
And not the church

I imagine
You don't have to
Spend money
To make believe.

The Terrorist

Do you know
What terror is?
Terror rising
Like the threat level
News televising
Different views
Like
Christian or Hindu
Muslim or Jew
How many Satanist
Crashed planes in
Places containing
Millions?
Murders of a martyr
Muttering under his breath
Not before a jump
From a building
But before
Walking through its doors
Trench coat
Drenched in sweat
No words spoken
But the name
Of a God
à la God
Allah!
Alas
A last breath
And a final moment
Gives a button
A fast press
Blast!
Explosions
Cold as the
Look he gave
Before he left
On his quest
Like a crusader
Crusading a nonbeliever
Then crucify
If you try
To stay true to self
Well, take me
As I am
And know
I never claim to know
I worship nothing
That creates war,
Whether real
Or not.

Windmills

Life’s short
From the gate
Better use time well
Spend sparingly
And wait
For your chance to dwell
Forever comes
Sooner than later
More often than never

When millions of men deny
Windmills spin
And time testifies
As an eye-witness

It spent
Like seconds
Collected as you went
Saw dust dance in the air
Took for granted
Then used as evidence
Of what happens
When we go

Mother Earth

Two birds sing
In sweet harmony
Through spring
Smiles
A favorite plant blossoms
On the side
Of a white-washed fence
Blends beautifully
Sun bathes in the ambiance
Of clouds
A cirrus haze
Etches
Mountain tops
For days
It sets
As if lying in bed

Lullabies
Cries
From a wolf
Howls at the moon
Goodnight world
Awake soon
Day's bright
Before night

Frost bite…
Flurry?
More of fury!
The wind knocks down
Defenses...
I'll feel it
Though
I don’t know
Why I'm the victim
I'll take
Your worse
And still love

Earth reign on me
I promise
To turn a leaf before
The end of fall
All in all
Through ups and downs
The hurricane
Of life
Brings strife
On my greatest day

I labor
Not pillage
Your tillage
And worship your wondrous
Waters
More refreshing than sleep
Blings
More than diamonds
Under sunlight

Lakes lie
Across as bodies
Embodying art
Au naturel
Awe
As "oooo's"
And "ahhh's"
Set the mood

Hurrah!
No boo’s
From the crowd of bees
Only a buzz
About your love.

The Living

The longer I’m alone
The closer
I feel to death
Hope the door out
Leads to a party
Not a closet
Maybe
Only like-minded
Individuals
Will rest in commonplace
So let’s fight
With words
Until we settle
On a moral agreement
We
May not
But one day
Our children will reach it
Peace
Between
Plants and animals
Alike

No pride
But in our pride:
The Living.

Psychedelic Rose

Hallucinogenic eugenics
False beauty
Portrayed poorly
Because it’s unreal
Yet
The feelings pursue me
Persecution
Prosecution
Against this prostitution of emotions
I sell myself cheap
$20.00
The price for my soul
Sold
To the mass
Extinction of reality
Who’s to say this bouquet
Of roses
Can’t arise before
My death?

I decorate
The interior
To design a mind
That’s perfected
In the opinions
Of those who know
No better
Drama setter
Setting the décor
For the setting
Letting the encore
Bring life
In the form
Of more roses
Atrocious Notoriety
From unwanted fame
Or
A poor poet
Starving artist
Projected as a failure
In this motion picture
Called life.

Full-time job
As a part-time lover
A fool fueled
By the feuds
That burns like the passion
Of a manic mad man
That manages to unmask
Conspiracies
Of secrecy
All the while
Spiraling
In delusion
Self-persecution
Trading sanity
For a truth
With no proof
Spewing his views
Over youtube
While you tune in
To a frequency
That frequently
Misses the point

The bigger picture
Is hard to see
When nit-pickers
Like I
Scrutinize the details
Then tell whats missing
With the audacity
Of a man with the capacity
To think critically
I mimic cynic critics
Then complain
When my views
Are challenged
Im challenged
Mentally
My retardation
Will eventually
Get the best of me
Hopefully
Before the worst of me
Becomes
The norm

This poem
Seems scatterbrained
Because my metaphors
Rarely connect
In the way
The reader
Is supposed to incept
I'd accept my defeat
In my attempt
TO prove my point
Except
I hate showing
What you'd expect

So as our     dwindles
To the sound
Of my favorite instrumental
As I write about
Myself
Hopefully
You'll see the bigger picture
Unlike me

... I just realized
I forgot to put love
Before the word dwindle
In the last stanza
And ****** up this constantly
Rhyming poem
To point out
The small details

And as a final
Desperate attempt
To redeem myself
I'll selfishly
Forget you again
And end
On a note
As a notice
That reconnects my first thought
Of how
Unbalanced my time is devoted

Socially suicidal
I say the wrong things
At the wrong times
To the wrong people
In all the wrong places
Face it
My face is the last thing
You want to see
On a day is as beautiful as this
Miss me with the *******!
I know you miss me
And the *******!
The scent is foul
But its fouler
TO have no senses at all
Since
Youve been gone
Ive been alone
WIth nothing
But a room full of family, friends,
Kinfolk, next of kin
Bad *******, X's,
Potential girlfriends
All in the whirlwind
Of indecision
....since you've been missing
Empty crowds
Full of people
I love
Sure enough
But what's love
Without you!?
Nothing much
I'm Nothingmore
Too much
Is not enough
Not a thing
Unless
Everything
Was the one thing
I gave you
Nonetheless
The lesson
Is none of this
Had to happen
It just happens
To be called
Fate
Rather fatal
****
Cupid'*****
Was supposed to nick
Not split
Me in half
I lost one side of me
ANd you
Replaced it
To make we whole again
And now
I have this hole again
You used to hold me
Now you *** me
As if I didn't
USed to be a ****
But "used to"
Doesnt do much
For this present
Feeling of being used
Too much
****
You used me up
Now Im left amongst
The bitter *******
That would bite a *******
For they let
The taste
Of Love
Eat them alive again
Im amongst the dead
No hopes to be revived
DOn't want to be alive
The pain
Isn't worth
The ability to feel
I gained less
Than what Ive attained
Since
They day I met you
I've haven't been
Myself ever since!

****,
I guess
The foul smell
Isnt worth
The Sense...

Numb
Is the worst feeling
It hurts
Without causing pain
Plain
And simple
It isn’t really a feeling
More of
A lack-thereof
Therefore
The fore front of
Motivation
Takes a back seat
To the final destination
Meaning
The destiny of all dreams
Vanish overnight
The morning welcomes
Emotionless intentions
Tension
Unbroken
Like the vials of time
As the last sand
Drops
That particular particle
Is peculiar
It lasted until the end
Just to drop like the rest
Unrest
Sleepiness vanishes
And the wake
Stays that way
And never dreams again
Numb
To the feelings of dissappointment
And unachievement
Unaccomplishments
Compliment
The lack of care
And the numbness
Which
Further dulls the pain

Oh!
What I’d give
To feel the pleasure
Of pain
Again…

Socially suicidal
I say the wrong things
At the wrong times
To the wrong people
In all the wrong places
Face it
My face is the last thing
You want to see
On a day is as beautiful as this
Miss me with the *******!
I know you miss me
And the *******!
The scent is foul
But its fouler
To have no senses at all
Since
Youve been gone
Ive been alone
WIth nothing
But a room full of family, friends,
Kinfolk, next of kin
Bad *******, X's,
Potential girlfriends
All in the whirlwind
Of indecision
....since you've been missing
Empty crowds
Full of people
I love
Sure enough
But what's love
Without you!?
Nothing much
I'm Nothingmore
Too much
Is not enough
Not a thing
Unless
Everything
Was the one thing
I gave you
Nonetheless
The lesson
Is none of this
Had to happen
It just happens
To be called
Fate
Rather fatal
****
Cupid'*****
Was supposed to nick
Not split
Me in half
I lost one side of me
ANd you
Replaced it
To make we whole again
And now
I have this hole again
You used to hold me
Now you *** me
As if I didn't
USed to be a ****
But "used to"
Doesnt do much
For this present
Feeling of being used
Too much
****
You used me up
Now Im left amongst
The bitter *******
That would bite a *******
For they let
The taste
Of Love
Eat them alive again
Im amongst the dead
No hopes to be revived
DOn't want to be alive
The pain
Isn't worth
The ability to feel
I gained less
Than what Ive attained
Since
They day I met you
I've haven't been
Myself ever since!

****,
I guess
The foul smell
Isnt worth
The Sense...

This journal
Is on the journey
Of a young man
Learning to run
After his first steps

Tried tricycles
For quite some time
Now riding
Without training
Free wheeling
And still in motion
By cycles
Of
Trial and error

New skills
Compensate slips
When quick hands
Can’t stop
The falling

No hands
On down hills
Still kicking
Not quite standing
Moving
While sitting
Still with it
With every minute
I’m lifted

Handling
My direction
Handle bars
Hold the
Reflection
Mirrors on either side
Eye’s focused
Front and behind

In line
Like skates
Though grinding
Set’s off a sign
Brakes
Wearing thin
No stopping
In my lane
Flying like
Hydroplaning
Off wet roads

Uncontrolled

The more you
Watch
The less
You’ll see

Nonsense
Sentences
Sitting still
And still
We feel the movement
Energize
Rise
From the knowing
With
Something
To give back
Ugh!
Enough knowledge
Can I please
Leave
I need
Recess
At heart
Rest
On my vein
Wane
Decisions
Don’t dwell
In the control
Undue your
Self
And make computations
On the bases
Of triangles
Squares
And spheres
If you don’t
Understand
Me
Thank god
It means
You're still here…

Amongst the bliss

Hallucinogenic eugenics
False beauty
Portrayed poorly
Because its unreal
Yet
The feelings pursue me
Persecution
Prosecution
Against this prostitution of emotions
I sell myself cheap
$15.00
Is the price for my soul
Sold
To the mass
Extinction of reality
Whose to say this bouquet
Of roses
Cant arise before
My death
I decorate
The interior
To design a mind
That’s perfected
In the opinions
Of those who know
No better
Drama setter
Setting the décor
For the setting
Letting the encore
Bring life
In the form
Of more roses
Atrocious Notoriety
From unwanted fame
Or
A poor poet
Starving artist
Projected as a failure
In this motion picture
Called life

I'm
Such a slave
To my anger
And foolish pride
I'll die
A thousand times
Before I recognize
The life
I've wasted
All because
I need to stay
Above
Never a shoulder shrugged
More
Of a mean mug
Stare down
Before the final
Show down
Blow for blow
'Til the war
Is over
While I preach
And teach peace
Pieces of me
Fragmented
Because
I react
With tactical actions

                                            Frag grenades ! ! ! ! !

Painting
The Art of War
Beautifully
Ignorantly believing
That’s possible

How come
I cant teach
Someone
To be
All they can be
But I cant make
The best of me

Army's Armistice
Raising arms

Nuclear warfare
Clearly a fair war
When its
Warranted
Wanted
I'm warning ya!

Stand down...
The sounds
Of hollow point rounds
Piercing
A cops vest...

I'm not going no where!
Know where
The end is
Be patient!
The tip of this bullet
Will end this
Miscommunication

Explosive decisions
Pressing
The big red button
Dropping bombs
Over Bagdad

Bragging about it
To my comrades
Commemorated
With a badge
Of honor

Once the parade
In my name
Is over
I'll be forced
To face
The nightmares alone
Lone ranger
Growing stranger
With time
Untangle the rope
Time to let
My body dangle
Beneath
The noose
Untie these twisted
Thoughts

And just
Let loose!

If I could heal
You all
With one word
Love
Would be the remedy
Let me
Remind you
That clichés
Are cliché
For a reason
Repetition
Is the father
Of Learning
Reciting
What I’ve learned
Is the mother
Of memory
Let’s not forget
How
We got here
I could bore you
Of how
The Lore taught love
But you’d rather
Be excited
With
The hoard of hatred
Spread
Like gossip
My gospel
Isn’t hostile enough
For you’re approval
Violence entertains
The vile lance
Pierced
The heart of a poet

The crowd applauds
Appalled
At the wimps
Who whine about it

Enclosed
In the cottage
If this
Writer’s Blockage
Lasts
For too long
How lost
Would I be
The reason
For being
Alone this season
Was to grow
My talents
Like an Eagle’s talons
And claw through
The surface
For the purpose
Of providing
A service
That
Serves vice
The plate of truth
Unknowing to those
Who don’t know
Right
From wrong
Produced as a song
Bereft of a beat
Unleft alone
The agitation
Becomes aggravated assault
As I rip the pages
Out the book
To my own fault
I locked the lessons
I was to learn
In a vault
Which doesn’t collapsed
Under the pressure
But becomes stronger
Time lapses
As my mind run laps
And replays the days
When control
Was in tact
Now I let loose
And dug myself
Further in the hole
Any further
Sleep’s cousin
Will become us
Me
And my goals
Lie dead in the same bed
All because
I was too proud
To beg
Myself for forgiveness
Of putting me in this prison
Away from society
With plans
To raise propriety
But how
Can one learn
To better himself
When he’s alone
With no teacher
But himself
So selfish of me
To leave
The fate of the world
In my hands
Too stubborn
To share
My final air
With theirs 

I'm about to get so drunk!
Because of you
So if I do
The unexpected
It's all
Because of you
You unexpectedly
Caught me o
Off guard
I had to reinforce
My force field
And strategically
Maneuver
Around your
Gravity
You have a pull
That slowly brings
The earth
Closer to the sun
Before I burn
I'll learn
As many lessons
As I can
Before I make my final turn
For the worse
Revolutions
With no apparent
Resolution
My parents warned me
About
Women like you
Watch
But never subdue
My subconscious hold
On you
Is due
To the fact
That you
Are the only
Woman
I ever
Truly knew
Know knowing
Is bringing me
Closer
To No-ing
Every question you ask
And because of it
I can pass
On Love
All because of
The likes of You

When they speak of hurt
This is what they mean!

Cuts, bruises and burns Take their turns
Teaching the lessons
But
The viciousness of love
Shows the true definition
No evidence
It burns, bruises and cuts
Through it all

Love Coma
Caused by the blunt object
Of my affection
Untreated
Therefore infected
Sick intentions
Arise from the tension…

How can we claim
To love each other
And then hate?
There is no thin line
Between love and hate!!!!!!!!
The line that divides
Is thicker
Than blood

Clots
Seem to reminisce
Us
Coagulated
As we try to prevent death
I’m so glad you made it
To the point
You can take another breath
And calm
Before you leave me
Left
With my own sores
To pick through
The score is settled
I refuse to fight
If winning means
I proved
Why you
And I
Aren’t right!

Isn’t reality so much sicker than fantasy

We visualize
The direction we need to go
And laugh about the future
Smiles
You and I
Will share
With a pair of kids
And a wedding
That dawns
On the eve of our choosing
On a lawn
By a beach as we’re loosing
The last bit
Of separation
We’ll ever witness
And blend
Become one
Forever
And ever more

Reality
Snaps us back
As we snap
On each other
About the useless points
We make
That truly just shows
We’re only humans
Striving for perfection

What if by chance
You we’re perfected
Before I!!!
You’d leave me for Jesus
If I before you
The ****** Mary I’d subdue
So until we’re perfect angels
Lets settle
Not for the devil
But a few rebels
That try…

To Love

When winter comes, the game is over
Until then
I’m tilling the soil, in preparation for the final score
Cordiality
Before the fertility of an ordeal, which grows into the bigger picture
Displayed
Splayed open in awkward moments, momentum picking up
Dust
Doesn’t this dirt, do something… creates… With no need
Of creativity
It just becomes… Nativity bourne… Energy from the stress, stretchin
Gravity pulls
Subdues the aborted missions… Missing the survivors
One
In a million, peal through the milieu, and skews
This present
View of manure, that manifests in the festivities that brings out
The most
Beautiful black rose in spring… Arose from the black
Beneath
Neither I nor you can undue, growth… Destruction just makes room
For something
Bigger to become… Cometh the comets to renew the stigma…
Butterflies
Kiss the bees… Better fly before the sting… Before the sting…
Stung
Death becomes the unlikely pair… The pear drops, to its own despair
This pair
Dies… as the flies, cover the corpse, cadavers and carrion
Carry on
The merry married marred, and in the spoils, spring new life
Young maggots Detested by the world, enters ignorantly blissful, and springs…
Underlings
Lingering beneath the grips of hatred, when it grows, with its
Hundred eyes
It still wont see the picture… distorted kaleidoscopic optics stops it
From seeing
The whys, the wheres, the world, the web
The spider
That sits beside her… and ***** the life out her
The outer
Casings, the crust, the crevice, the crack, the core,
We see
Explore, excavate through the dust of adam, and reach the hot magma,
The lake
Of fire floods the land… and destroys another civilization

“Welcome to earth…”

Enclosed
In the cottage
If this
Writer’s Blockage
Lasts
For too long
How lost
Would I be
The reason
For being
Alone this season
Was to grow
My talents
Like an Eagle’s talons
And claw through
The surface
For the purpose
Of providing
A service
That
Serves vice
The plate of truth
Unknowing to those
Who don’t know
Right
From wrong
Produced as a song
Bereft of a beat
Unleft alone
The agitation
Becomes aggravated assault
As I rip the pages
Out the book
To my own fault
I locked the lessons
I was to learn
In a vault
Which doesn’t collapsed
Under the pressure
But becomes stronger
Time lapses
As my mind run laps
And replays the days
When control
Was in tact
Now I let loose
And dug myself
Further in the hole
Any further
Sleep’s cousin
Will become us
Me
And my goals
Lie dead in the same bed
All because
I was too proud
To beg
Myself for forgiveness
Of putting me in this prison
Away from society
With plans
TO raise propriety
But how
Can one learn
To better himself
When he’s alone
With no teacher
But himself
So selfish of me
To leave
The fate of the world
In my hands
Too stubborn
To share
My final air
With theirs

Dark sheets
Of night
Cover the sky
Preparing
The world for sleep
Pray
On the lord our souls to keep
Prey
On the lower, sold the sheep
To beasts
Lost shepherd
Of the weak
Heard the herd
Is preferred rare
We’re a rarity
In despair
The air answers all my prayers

Silently
Whispers to me

.just, don‘t fall asleep.

It always speaks
Quietly
Morse code
Cold remorse
It wont ****
But instead instills
A breeze that peaks
Over the window sill
I stand still
Feel the chills
It fills the ceil
Creates a seal…
The wind stays
To make me stay
Awake

It captured fate
Encapsulates
Then decapitates
What’s ahead
The future… evaporates
I gave away
Tomorrow’s day
Just to stay
Up

I Reached the skies
Left the life
And can’t relearn
How to return

To sleep…

I can't wait 'til
Nightfalls
Tonight
I will
Construct nightmares
So insane
Phantoms couldn't fathom
Fantasies make foul turns
Fascination fails
You'll frail frantically
Your chain of the thoughts
Become a train
Derailed
From Loco motives
Your emotions
Are now
Monstrous motifs
Built moments
Before happiness
You'll stare
In terror eyes
Scared as cats
You scratch
Along the wood floor
Forced
Through dark corridors
The doors
Horror tore off the hinges
You're inches away
From no longer living
As soon
As you've given
Yourself away
I take
And make worse!

Death dances
At arms lengths
I've never seen someone
so anxious
To reach

Too anguished to speak
How shall I satisfy?
This shallow heart
Is empty
But simply filled the rows
Of this cathedral
With people
Who payed
To see the price
You've payed

I guess,
Hell sales
This thriller will terrify
Eye's should stay confined
When I
Comply to my conscience
Can science comfort you
It claims this isn't real
Well
It really helped me
Make you feel
Comfortable enough
To sleep
Deeply
Anesthesia
Will be the
Reason for your sweet retreat
As soon as your
Sound asleep
I'll compile vile thoughts
And send you on a journey
With intent
Of you never returning
A one-way trip
From float, freight or flight
As long as it brings
Fright
By mars at night
Where nightmares
Are the day
And you're fearful of it's sight

****** man
Lurking in the corners
Evil smile
Meanwhile
A child
Alive
But barely
Can't pick of the phone
Who'll answer

A cop,
Rookie
Would be
A vet in time
But the shots
That hit his spine
Hit his soul a lot harder

Almost as hard as
The hits
From a ****,
That used his fist
And never open hand,
Demands not met,
No speech
From the *****'s throat

Silent night
Was supoosed to be
Holy
But the holey stockings
Was a worn out reminder,
The timer hit 12:00
on the 25th
But
A bowl of cheerios
No honey
No milk
Was bold
As the truth
It told
Like
The gifts
Never bought
Or the mall
Never shopped
In the cold

Black ice on the road at night
My car never fought so hard
To follow lights
Flurries proved
To be as blury
As the vision
From sippin
Too much wine
Red stains,
And lipstick
Secrets untold,
Focus on the road
Home is but a couple miles
But another cup
Would suffice
I'm willin to suffer the consequences
What will I sacrafice?
What's the price
For a few drinks
After supper?

Besides,
The bartender wouldnt of offered
Enough scotch
To make my mind alter
He's a friend to me,
What?
You mean to tell me,
That the end of me,
Is in a
Glass of hennessy
Ha!


Hail mary full of grace,
Full of faults
But full of faith
And as she prayed
The lord did praise
Amazed
Life proved to be a maze
But in the haze
A few rays
Would should shine her way
There were 2 sets
Of footprints
But a woman fell
There's been
1 set ever since
Carried
New Born
Born Again
And twice married
Widows tears
On a pillow
Bible never far
Closed eyes
Could still reach
Even in sleep
Wrinkles deep
A hot flash
of her age blinks
on the alarm
1:40
And one 40 year old woman
Who thinks
That if she keeps
His name in glory
Her story
Would end in peace.

I dread
The thought of a red shirt
Once white
This causes
Caution
And curiousity
Cure me or ****

I question
All this
A result
Of a swift kiss

From

A blade raised
WIth
Intent to rip
My hand gaurds
But not good enough
Rough cuts
Rust remnants
Proved to be as infectious
As
Addiction to infliction
Like
Picking sores
With ***** nails

Get well
Soon becomes a cliche
With no meaning
The reason
For bleeding
Is only to stain

Sustain the pain
Then it leaves
It's mark
Like a scar
Carved art
Like a tattoo
More like
A love wound
Worst than
Love lost
Hurts worse than
The sight of a hearse
More like
The feeling of hurt
What's worse?

Getting your heart broken
Mine was butchered
And sewn back
Poorly patched
With bent needles
Needless
To say
They were
Bathed in a bottled
Labeled with
Cross-bones

Posion
I need less to say
And I say,
"I hate you!"
I'll condense to
"Hate"
Because thats all I have
For you

Catatonic expressions
On a
Schizophrenic adolescent
Bipolar bearings
Helping ‘em stand
On both sides
Of the argument

Arduous Amore
The Mental Asylum
Silences me
If I speak
I’ll show how weak
My will
To not spill
Crazy thoughts
Is
I remain thoughtless
My conclusion
Signifies delusion
I hypothesize
My hyperactivity Is a hyperbole
Constructed
By psychotic psychiatry
Sigmund Freud
Prescribed *******
And left
The remains
Of white dust
On the brains
That trust
Like the kid
With ADD
Who adds pills
To feel
Emotionless  
If too much emotion is
Not a enough
To be a human
I’ll alienate
Myself from
You men
Few men
Understand
The acumen of Wisdom
They fear
What they don’t know
I’m unknown
Anonymous
Synonymous
With the Question Mark
Who am I?
This question marks
The beginning
Of most journeys
Mine began
With
I know who I am,
But how can I show it?

I became
An open book
That was over looked
By the minds
I tried to reach
Read
As comic relief
For
The Intellectually Elite

I must protect
The children
The field ends
Where the cliff begins
I must protect them
From
The phony
Sense of security
Where
In the ****
Are your parents!
It’s evident
This isn’t a place
To play
Worry not
I will
Stay
Standing
Life Guard
An Angel
Life Guardian Angel
Full of faults
And faith
Who’ll never earn his wings
I bring peace
To the underlings
Even if
Heaven sits
Above my reach
So it’s
My job
To teach
Beseeched
By the leech
As these
Phonies speak
My ears failed
To understand
Their fairy tales
“Santa Clause is NOT REAL!!!”
Is the only clause
That’s real
And it brings the gift
Of truth
Death’s unknown to us all
A fall
From this cliff
Is not a promise
Of bliss
Darkness, most likely
After a painful
Crash
Smash
And pass over
Into the ash
So live long
The song will end
And never replay
You’ll reap
What lays at the end
So sow
Until the final blow
Let your lows
Lift you
Higher than the skies
Spend
Not a moment in life
Down
Because there’s enough
Down
To go around
Once you’re
Beneath the ground
The sound
Of infinite silence
Will ring loud
So enjoy the sweetness
Before the
Bitter taste
Ensues
Life
Is meaningless
I mean
Life’s meaning is less
Than what’s expected
The meaning of death
Is too mean
To fathom
Manically depressed
About death
We’ve repressed
The memories
Of what is was it use to be
Like
Before life
So we lie
About the future

Listen
To no one!
But yourself
The harsh truth
Can uplift
But until you reach a wise age
I’ll protect you
From the cliffs...

You’re way too
Beautiful Girl
That’s why it’ll never
Work
You’ll have me suicidal
Recitals
Singing Kingston
Love lasts
Until the last
I Love You
When it comes
I swear
I’ll run
To the cliff
And Jump
Because you told me
To
I love you
Hard
Harder
Than diamonds
You’re a rock
And our end
Is a hard place
I’m stuck in between
A 'tween like obsession
I confess
I never learn
Love lessons
I’m forever failing
Falling hardest
For those
That are lawless
The rules of attraction
You don’t abide by
Biding my time
Biting my nails
Hoping for your
Answer
Waiting
In anticipation
Longer
Than the Detox
It’ll never come
You’re on a vacation
From me
MyRehabilitation
Is like
An alcoholic
Overcoming his disease
In a bar
How many shots will it take before I’m claimed clinically insane
I’ve made the same
Mistake a million times
But
You’re one in a million
And I’m searching
For the feelings
You aren’t willing to give
Hopefully I’ll be picked
Playing love’s lottery
With one ticket
There’s still a chance
The odds
Are against me
Oddly, I believe
I’m odd enough
To beat them

I’m
St. Lunatic
I’m
Losing it
In the
Medieval Mid-west
I’m
Past my middle age
I predict
My
Lunar Eclipse
Is coming soon
Once the moon’s
Covered
So will I
Under the earth
On which
I worked
On switched
Flicked
Off
Ticked off
Rather ******
About that ****
I got in
End
Too soon
Too close
To my begin
Inn’s
Spent overnight
With a friend
Smiling after ***
Smiley faces after texts
The contextual clues
Shows
Her truth
As I lie
About our future
It’s not
I don’t want you
It’s that
I have few “sures”
In this life
But I’m sure
My times coming
To a close
Redress yourself
In that red dress
And leave me
Left
You’re clothes
Tell untold stories
Lying across the floor
Sure
Time together
Would be better
Than spending
The final hours
Alone
But
I own
My fate
And own up
To my mistakes
If we break
It’ll hurt less
Than loving me
Until the wake
I’ll have no
Funeral
But a cremation
Let it burn
Like the memories
That should’ve never been
****,
I’m ******
Because of the pain
I let you feel
Love lost
In the lake of fire
While you ascend
To Heaven’s Fields.............

Sipping Red Wine
With
Disciplined disciples
Dining
With minds alike
Best friends,
Next of kin
I repent
For my sins
Then
Hug my worst enemy
As she
Kisses me
On the cheek...

"Here's my toast,
A final cheer"
I raise
Out my chair
Hold my glass
In the air
Final words spoken
In red
"Momento Mori
Remember the Alive
Soon becomes Dead!"
Lips stained
And wiped
With bread
My Body
And Blood
Portrays
The art
Of Me
Spilling my heart
As I talk
Of My Final walk

Remembered
For ages to come
The pages will turn
As nuns
Thumb
Through my revelations
Revealed
To show my appeal
For
Keeping it rea
lEveryone stands
Clap hands
I give the
Cue to sit
Then
Follow in suit
Before
The crucifix
Suited in an outfit
That helps
My family
Come to grips
With The Final dip
Into oblivion

Rest assure
The rest's assured
With a promised
That God keeps
Strenght
Will be
Bestowed
Upon the weak
Faith
Is best owed
To the one
Who speaks
"Let There Be Light"
And brightens
The darkness
Of life

I
Will take the pain
Of a thousand deaths
Take a thousand steps
With the wieght
Of the world on my shoulders
As I pass away
For my best freinds sins
As he watches me
Silently
Violently whipped
As blood drips
On a red shirt
Tye dyed
From the wine I sipped
The night before

I died

Seize the night, better known as afterlife,
Leave the light of the days out of sight
And take sight of rays of the moonlight,
This is your new light and your renewed life.

I believe that upon your birth on earth,
It’s really your death,
And you won’t see rebirth,
Until the earth you’ve left.

So what does this mean, does life have no meaning?
No, just look at it as if we’re all just dreaming,
And we won’t wake up until we’re no longer breathing.
I guess this means life is really but a dream.

But can someone please tell me why,
We’re stripped from the heavens,
And sent here to die?

I believe some of God’s lessons,
Can only be learned through a mortal mind,
And most of life’s blessings
Are appreciated more when you’re inclined
To the belief that your days will end in time.

Day is the life we know,
Night is life to come.
In the day we’re supposed grow,
We see the night when we the growing’s done.
From whence the sun rose, is where the moon will glow,
The orbs of our lives, we should seize both.

Seize the day, because it might be your last,
Leave the problems, drama, and fights in the past.
You can cry later, but now you should laugh,
You never know when you’ll see your life in a flash.

And when your whole life flashes before your eyes,
That same time and moment that you realize,
That your days have demised and you’re about to die,
Please don’t act surprised, and please don’t ask why.

People don’t realize that we’re on borrowed time,
Living there lives like tomorrow never dies.
Believing that their lives, are actually their lives,
And in there lies, what appears a clever lie.
But if our lives, were actually our lives,
Wouldn’t we be able to choose when it was our time.
Instead your destiny is undefined,
And you’re destined to be unalive.

Eternity is the enemy of mortality,
So internally we wish for immortality.
But even immortality is reached from immorality,
Unless you happen to become a nature’s casualty,
Only if it happens naturally,
Can your passage be in existence, your mortal inexistence,
But you’ll exist in the Heavens you enlist in.


Then, and only then, can you live life at ease,
The days you no longer will have to seize,
On the set day you leave,
Before death is seen,
The concept of “days” you leave.
Does this mean that after life
Time will lose meaning?
Will life after death leave us with nothing to believe in?
Will we still try to seize the day
When we become immortal beings?

As I lay on my deathbed in the hospital room,
The awareness of my soon doom,
Exudes feelings of gloom,
But more so it ensues feelings of regret,
So many stupid decisions which in my heart beget
Feelings of indecision, unaware of what is next.

The disease that’s ripping me from my life is unknown,
All I know is I had to leave my son and wife at home.
Soon I’ll have to leave from the life I’ve known.
I remember my last words to my son,
Looking sympathetically I looked at him pathetically,
And said so empathetically, I loved him,
So death could see.

But it doesn’t matter, because talking doesn’t work,
So I’m patiently waiting for the coffin and the hearse,
And then all a sudden I started coughing and it hurts,
Then I pressed the button which was calling for the nurse.

The door flew open
But it couldn‘t be her,
Instead I got the black hooded death,
Known as the Grim Reaper.
He approached me, I got cold, time froze,
His hand hit mine.
He got close to me and told me, that it was my time.
Filled with frustration I couldn’t control,
Snatched my arm away from his hand so cold,
Looked him in his eyes, because it was time he was told,
He’s not taking any more lives and it was my time, I spoke.

“If you reap what you sow, why reap souls?
You’re the creator of none, but you can take them and run?
How is this so, the keeper of the souls,
Reaper who sold nothing he sowed?
He only stole, and away he stowed ,
Until he bestows them to the one below.
And we all know that he has no soul.
So your envy controls and even he knows
In heat he chose to fight those he loathes.
Despising those whose demise,
You own.
Spiting foes, despite inside he knows,
That it was he who has chose,
The life as Reaper of Souls.”

After I finished my speech,
He roared with laughter and disbelief,
Then, up I leaped and for his sickle I reached,
Chopped off his head, which fell to his feet.
Now death is dead, just grim from defeat.

But to my surprise, death did have a soul,
And into my body, the spirit arose.
The Grim Reaper’s hood then covered me whole,
From the inside to out my body became cold.
I was no greater than he, reaping what I did not sow.
I was just as Grim,
And now the new Reaper of souls.

Satan, why is everyone so scared of him?
Lets knock on his door with a thousand cherubim,
And if it’s not enough come back with a garrison,
Of the highest class of angels, some six winged seraphim.

When the battle is raging on,
The demons will start to groan,
When their King is stripped from his throne,
And beat until the white meat is shown,
So we can see his flesh and bones.

Only then we will celebrate our victory,
When the enemy is history.
You see, Violence is the key,
The Devil’s death is meant to be.
It won’t mean spit to me,
The pain and all it brings,
To a being less than me.

I guess this means,
If the torture was switched to me.
Then it won’t mean spit to thee,
A being more than me.

While he’s so busy deploring me,
Instead of looking for more to see
There’s much more to me,
Than a sinning human being.

But since the God I love,
Promised me a place above
My shoulders I have to shrug,
**** the other thugs,
Give ‘em war, not love.