Heaven or Hell,
Well, Heaven is hell
To the devil
Who fell a couple levels according to Heavens tales.
Yes, I guess Hell is heaven,
To the Rebel adoring Heaven’s jail.

Good deeds are evil to people who love vices
And vice versa for people who live righteous.

Those who are opposed to Heaven’s sweet abode,
Are opposite from those who impose on Hell’s road.

If good and evil are converse souls,
Does this mean since happiness is the angel’s goal,
That demons thrive for depression
To make their lives whole?

Or maybe happiness is only in the eye of the beholder,
Heaven appears hellish in the eye’s of the fallen soldier.

Well the whole concepts confusing,
All the more amusing,
But nonetheless fusing my conclusion,
Or the allusion
Heaven and Hell is just an illusion.

The deadly sinner, committer of Pride,
Sinister commissioner with a mission to hide,
But only hidden behind eyes shut wide.
I’m described as a scribe that tells the most beautiful lies,
Inscribed on my spine are scriptures,
And wings ready for flight,
But only when the time’s right,
Till then my pen spills sins, as I write,
Irate as I rant about the things I can’t.
I am the Tyrant, self-made king of violence,
****** he wrote, But innocently he spoke.
I devise wise plans with a smart mouth,
And my poetic device could take a life!
Smiling faces tell tall-tales, so a frown makes well,
Stories told so cold, it could make a brown face pale.
Base it off true stories, then mislead them with rhythm,
I break through hymns, and change live with ‘em.
Talking with a slick tongue known to ****** virgins’
Do not disturb him…
Illusionist using his wits to twist intent,
The effect so intense,
The crowd laughing at my drama,
And crying at my comics.
Over your head like inside jokes,
Solo, but so high, I’m thinking outside your box,
And undermining.
Minding my own business,
With money and top of it.
Pondering my lines is suicide,
Repentless sins, “in a sense”,
Even if you avoid ****** wrists,
You’re still “guilty” of pleasure.
Mind Imprisonment isn’t a kind enough gesture,
So fans, family and friends, read my lethal injections.

Even if you cut off my lips so I couldn’t spit,
Nipped off my finger tips to prevent the script,
Ripped off my tongue to stop the words,
I’d just hum the most lethal song you ever heard.

Make everyone victim to melodies and rhythm,
Play with people feelings,
Have ’em crash off a course,
Emotionally driven.

To not hear my evil, you must sear your ears,
Music so dark, it leaves you blind with fear.
Scream all alone, until to your voice is gone,
Defeated still by a man who can **** with his song.

What is your biggest fear?
Life is mine, **** death.
Life is limited, death’s infinite.
Life is regrettable, death’s inevitable.
Life defines time, but death defies it.

Beautiful Angel, wings so large and perfected,
Pitiful Demon, from God he’s been neglected.

Beautiful Angel, guardian of the heavens above,
Pitiful Demon, defender of the heathens and thugs.

Beautiful Angel, bringing us away from temptation,
Pitiful Demon, leading us into damnation.

Beautiful Angel, flying in the bright daylight,
Pitiful Demon, lurking in the deep dark night.

Beautiful Demon, you understand the pain I feel,
Pitiful Angel, you don’t understand the pain so real.

Beautiful Demon, you’re just like me,
We love drinking, *** and money we Greed.
Pitiful Angel, I’m sorry you’re nothing like me,
I’m not sober nor celibate and what’s Liberality?

The fact is we’re as pitiful as the demon,
And we’ll never meet perfection as long as we’re breathing.
But we should strive for perfection, that’s the main goal,
So we can make it to heaven, and become beautiful Angels.

My bare feet slide against the *****, wet pavement,
As I walk the road millions have taken.
I’m alone as I walk, naked, cold, in the night,
No moon, no stars, no signs of light or even life.
For some reason the narrow street was so clear,
The road appeared infinite but I strolled with fear.
An impossible terror, I tried to cry but couldn’t bring tears.
The loudest silence began ringing in my ears,
I walked for days, months until the years,
I could feel the heat rising as my destination neared…

You need to let the sand move alone
Inside the hourglass,
Instead of shaking it by the rim trying to make time pass.
Impatiently waiting, forcing love to move fast,
Then the glass ends up breaking,
Because you lose your grasp.
And as the glass shatters, and the sand spreads,
You fall to your knees
And try to gather all the shards and it shreds
Your palms and you bleed,
Until you’re almost dead.

You just give up and kick the pieces to the curb,
Lying to yourself that the pain doesn’t hurt.
Really inside your mind you’re debating what hurts most,
Your ****** palms, your broken heart,
Or the fact you let the hourglass go.
You decide on none of the above.
What really pains the soul,
Is the fact you hurt your partner
Who said you both should take it slow.

You didn’t realize the hourglass
Not only affected yourself,
That the effects of selfishness
Will reflect on one’s self,
And your ugliness will be reflected off the glass
Of the hourglass,
And shone in the face of your other half.
Now you’re forced to walk the earth,
As mere halves.
Incomplete hearts victim to the wrath
Of an impatient patient hospitalized in the past.
If you could find all the pieces on the ground,
Rebuild the hourglass and flip it around,
Rewind to the time when happiness encompassed minds,
Everything would be fine, if you could just find the time.
Time is valuable
And your soul has paid the fine.

You can define lost time,
Don’t let lost time define you.
You must defy that fine line
That divides you and your love
Because to lose love is a divine crime
Judged from the one above.
Just remember that the hourglass,
Representing the countdown
To complete, wholly, holy love,
Is not only yours but also your only love’s.

I have
To make a confession
I have an obsession
Writing sessions
Are no longer
Worked
To become greater
This addict
Attic's light
Is dimming from overuse
If it dies
So will I
What am I
Without the wick
Which is wit
If it's
To suffocate
I'll suffer
The same fate
So for
The rest
Of the night
I'll work tirelessly
To create
Light
From scratch
Without a match
Bulbs
Bursts
Because
The flowers ready
To bloom
Or the filaments
Lamented
Simmering down
Like a cavern's lantern
Burned out
Tampered
Like a lamp
Damp
From the dew
That somehow
Managed to
Drip through
The crevice
Of the wooden
Ceiling
Sealing fate
Leaking death
On what's left
Of the day.

Moon
Moon
Moon!
You’re so creative
Show that sun how to change!
Such range
Give us Gibbous
Then present the Crescent
Earth’s natural satellite
Broadcasting abroad
Casting Lunacy
Across the skies, broad
Tied
To the gravitational pull
But never falls
Please release
That ever so decadent
Blue Moon Cheese
My father
Used to read
Me to sleep
Up crept
The man on the moon
As I slept
Watching o’er me
Rising
Sometimes surprising the sun
Piercing the daylight
With a bright orange hue
Who are you
I wonder
Never cared
For the ego
Of the stars
Shooting
For my attention
Apollo
Followed you
Like a dream
And quite possibly
Ended the war

Your iron core is
Rock solid
Was knocked off
The face of the earth
You’re a third its size
I wish my soul
Left with you
After the asteroid
Set you free
One day
Rather night
We’ll see
If steroid strength
Can find
The energy
To make
This giant leap
For mankind

Can you spare change?

Is it that hard to change from the source of my pain
To the source of my happiness
And a source of trust to gain?

Can you spare change of mind?
And reverse your plans of leaving me behind,
Leading me in the shadows of hope when I’m blind?

Can you spare change of your priorities?
And move me up the ladder
From the ground insignificance
To something that really matters?

Can you spare change of heart?
And go back to that point in time
When my heart was all yours
And yours was all mine?

Can you spare change of attitude?
And at least give gratitude
To me for being forgiving and never staying mad at you?

I gave you all my change and I have no more.
Everything that was mine is now all yours!
Just a small exchange is all I’m asking for.
Can you spare change?

Patience is a virtue,
Anxiousness’ll hurt you.
Take your time, know your lines,
So when the curtains open,
You won’t be looking for a sign,
To show the production that has been conducted
Is moving fine.
When the curtains close,
You will know that in your mind,
You played your role, made your goal,
And had a perfect score,
Waiting on the encore, the crowds thirst for more.
As bouquets of roses are thrown upon the stage,
Mesmerized how you memorized the script
And every page.
Their adornment for your performance
Makes you amazed.
Deep down their scorning and abhorring
They’re so enraged,
The love displayed was only acting on a stage.

When watching the Play of Love at its prime,
Love plays with your mind,
And the jealous critics will hate the Play (Love)
You worked so hard to create.

A quote for Ms. Interpretation –
“If you move too early, it’ll be too late.”

Apparently a contradiction, but if you look much closer,
Up there and see the point is hidden, and not in your face.
You’ll see it’s supposed to be a paradox,
The message you’ve misplaced,
But supposedly there is not,
You say the quote’s a mistake.
The quote is often just mis-taked,
If you want to know what I would see,
If I focused on the picture violently,
Yours and mine would be, similar, our misinterpretation.
But if I were to take my time I’d see, its only irony,
In the message delivered to Ms. Interpretation.
What appears contrary to the diction
Is with what happens
And what’s expected,
And by challenging the message
Is the only way it gets respected.

For example:

Let’s say, you’re quick to groom the man,
Who you think will be the groom,
But you moved to soon,
Now he’s scared to jump the broom.
And by the time you know this,
That your love was just novice,
Will be the time that you noticed
That the quote was not a fake.
And the wedding never happens
And it’s way too late
To go back before it happened.
So take your time and read the message
And the sense it makes

"If you move too early, it'll be too late.”

Love is a tough safe to crack,
But if you come prepared, with your instructions packed,
Brought the right equipment and your mind is intact,
You can open it with ease,
And receive the treasure that’s trapped.
Still there are people, too eager for waiting,
Anxiously cracking the safe
With the hammer of impatience.
But what you’ll end up breaking
Is not only the safe
Destroying all the treasures enclosed,
But also your back,
From swinging the hammer too far back.
Now in the back of your mind,
You’re ****** because you shattered your spine.
You can only sit, thinking of the bliss
You could have had if you just took your time.
Paralyzed from the neck down, and you can believe it,
Jeopardized your love life just from swinging
That **** hammer of impatience
Which made you Love’s paraplegic.

Joseph Childress

Can a rose survive winter?
You may know of the rose
Which arose from impossible grounds,
Defying the laws which told the rose it could not grow.
Although this beautiful flower came into existence,
Regardless of the environment that tried to prevent it,
It still has many tribulations that it must overcome,
The cold winter is near and won’t succumb for anyone.

The temperature drops, the sun hides away,
The dew which used to be so satisfying now turns to frost,
Slowly suffocating the flower, all hope is lost.
The first snowflake drops, the plants fade away,
The fresh smell of pine trees now takes its place,
Quickly covering the smells the rose thought would stay.

The rose petals begin to crumble, texture begins to toughen,
The hue turns brown, the rose amounts to nothing.
The head of the rose now faces the ground,
That godforsaken ground that no other rose could be found.

It’s so unfair to watch something so miraculous
Be forced to despair,
It kind of makes the mind to ponder
If a miracle was ever there.

The months go by, winter comes to an end.
The snow melts in days, as spring begins.
Beautiful plants begin to grow
And in the exact spot where the tragedy came to be,
There is sign of another rose
So similar to the one we used to know.

It’s so amazing
To watch a rose come alive,
It kind of makes you wonder
If the rose ever died.

Watch the hands on the clock,
Or the hands on the wrist watch,
As it tick tocks,
And see if it stops…
Probably not,
Probably never,
So would it be probable to assume time is forever?
How clever,
What if the hands on the clock have been severed?
Or the clock drops and it breaks instead.

Or the hands on the wrist watch stop
Because the batteries are dead.
Did you beat time?
No, the batteries can be replaced,
And hands put back in place.
And set back to the point in time,
When the hands pointed at time.
Time has beaten you,
Because when you die,
You can’t be revived,
And even time can’t return to when you were alive.
You believe that the world revolves around your life,
The hands of time revolve around mine.
Because they speak of your time of death,
But never speak of the death of time.

We often have so many misfortunes in life,
We get used to being used by pain’s might.
But if we hold tight,
Regardless of life’s hardships,
Or the steepness of our plight,
We just might keep sight
The fortunes only seen at night.

If you ask me,
The sun’s beauty cannot compare to that of the moon.
Stare at the blazing sunlight,
And I’ll watch you go blind.
While I gaze at the moon’s eyes,
And one day have nocturnal sight.

Sometimes it’s hard to follow the light
When your surroundings are bright.
But it’s easy to find the spark
When your days are dark.

So typical, trying to analyze every individual,
Only God can judge me, I’m quick to get biblical,
Or do I use it as a way to do the inexplicable.
All men sin, so the world’s view is cynical,
Now every day the phrase becomes applicable.
I’m not a criminal,
But I do commit crimes.
If that’s a contradiction
Then open up your mind.
We all commit crimes, but who’s willing to do the time?
Or at least take the time to think about the next line,
Is God really the only one who can judge me
When we all have eyes?
Even if you never say a word
You judge in your mind.

Invisible souls, nobody knows you exist and are whole,
Disregarded from the minds of those closed,
Only the confines of the open ones know
Of your existence.
They don’t know of your presence.
Your body is evanescent.
They can’t picture the beautiful essence
Inside the body a sinful adolescent,
A reckless, negligent child filled with aggression.
Victim to recklessness, negligence and oppression,
But nonetheless mortal.
For those who don’t know,
Mortality doesn’t always know morality,
Even those with perfected morals are often exposed
To imperfection for only perfection can be expected
From a soul that’s no longer infected
With this disease called sin.
So in actuality, you must recognize
And revert back to reality.
Stop the facilities practicing on fatalities,
The institutions unable to uplift individuals
Who have lost all hope and are often called criminals,
Because in the public’s eye their soul has become invisible.

Ever so eager to be evil,
Only way to avenge is by revenge.
Committing sins that’s justified
When you amend
Like when men pray then “Amen”.
Convinced by the belief that you’re reprieved
When you repent.
You stick with it
Even though you know it makes no sense.
The only way to hit where it hurts is by malevolence,
Benevolence hardly hurts when it hits
So it’s irrelevant.
Why **** ‘em with kindness,
When you can **** ‘em with violence,
**** acts of kindness,
And act with vileness,
That’s about as mean and wild as vile gets.
Meanwhile, foul gets the best of you,
But what will get the rest of you?
Believing that god is still blessing you,
When karma starts addressing you,
God is really testing you,
Hopefully you catch it
Before you’re taken to hell’s vestibule.

Should of, would of, could of, but you didn’t,
Now your whole life you’re wishing that you did it.
If it was really meant to be,
You wouldn’t be searching so ignorantly.
Ignore what’s come and gone,
And focus on what’s going to come.
Forget regret, it only begets upset,
Instead setup
Your plans to take a second chance,
Because once the seconds on the hand,
Make their final revolution,
You’ll regret you didn’t focus on a better resolution.

I am a caged animal, not a human being.
Not a caged bird, though I know why it sings.
More like a circus lion, forced to jump rings,
The world is my audience
And everywhere I walk is the stage.
People say I’m free to walk but someone keeps me caged,
The crowd gives applause,
And point their fingers,
I’m enraged.
I’m just an angry *** animal, not a human being.
I have animalistic behavior and beastly features,
Can an animal be a savior and a beast a preacher?
We’re all God’s creatures,
But what you see is an animal caged,
Like I’m not a human being.
Even though I’m on this stage,
There’s not a being more human than me.

Joseph Childress

Do you know what happens when a preacher has an issue?
Reminiscent of a gangster,
He reaches for his pistol.
Fully loaded, as he explodes it,
He knows it can’t miss you.
Bullets of advice he uses to settle the differences,
And his bible helps his mission.
Ammunition for the spirit and the mind
From divine intervention,
Hit men for a cause, who has a price on their head?
Devoted to his job he empties the clip full of holy lead,
Exorcising the demons
Controlling your uncontrollable urge to sin.
But sometimes old endings
Are merged with new beginnings
Thus blending
This unstoppable urge to again, begin sinning,
Then again presenting
The need for the preacher’s mending.
This demon won’t stop trying,
Though it can be managed.
The demon will never die, but it can be damaged.
Hearts not strong enough become salvage,
Unless the Preacher with his pistol
Assures the demon is vanquished.
The never ending war between good and evil
Still has to be fought.
Hopefully Heaven has enough arsenals
To help those distraught.

Warfare isn’t always a fair war.
Welfare says the best fare well.
It’s all fair play but do they really play fair?

But whether rough or fairways,
Through strife you still play
To make yourself whole in one.

I am the master of my destiny,
But it’s difficult to know what I’m destined to be,
So I mastered the skill of poetry in hopes to invest in me.
Thus the power would be vested in me,
And I wouldn’t have to submit to anyone else
To get the best of me.

My words are disturbed,
My belligerent inflictions are deserved,
My fictitious non-fictions are just misheard,
My religious depictions are called absurd,
They rage savagely as they say, “Blasphemy.”
To convey opinions is a task for me,
But if you’re asking me to speak rationally,
Don’t be mad at me, when I ration radically.
My passion was passionately
Passed to me by a God that has to be a part of me,
Or at least partially inside the art part of me.
If He is an entity totally apart from me,
Then why does this feeling remain in my veins?
And please do explain these pains in my
Feet, hands and scalp around my brain.
You say it’s because I’ve been walking all day,
Trying to find my way because I’m lost always,
And all the ways that I take
Bring me back to the same place.
So I sit and write all day until my fingers ache,
In hopes to eradicate my hate and vacate
From this block, city and state
And cop pretty estates.
But writer’s block stops my speedy escape,
I scratch my head until it bleeds to my face.
Still you choose to have hate for my stigmatic fate,
And feel you must take from my ecstatic state,
Just because you frustrate from my enigmatic style,
Then throw sticks and stones to shatter my smile.
Your words won’t hurt,
And flipping the bird don’t work,
And you would never bother to flip through my works.
You just flap your lips and let the whip go berserks,
Until it strips through my soul after it rips through my shirt.

Society is real quick to crucify,
But in this life
It’s do or die
And I refuse to choose to die.
I remember I used to lie
Because my truth was too shy,
But now I’m used to life,
And realize there’s no use to lie.
As I lie on the crucifix these cruel critics fixed upon me,
Just know that I wrote it how it was supposed to be.
Even when I die my fans will be excited to know it’s me,
Resurrected anytime they decide to recite my poetry.

Beat me ‘til I’m beaten,
Tread across my heart,
Need not to worry it was already torn apart.
Bled for days, I’m still alive,
Though not in a way most know,
More like a breathing death that continues to grow.
Do what you will; the pain hurts no more.
It’s a part of my life now; feel free to pick the sores.
I wish things were better,
But no time to hope for false goals,
Never one to fantasize the impossible possibility
Of healing my soul…

The war rages on, fire in the sky,
Pride in the soldiers eyes as they take each other’s lives,
Wives deprived of that last conversation,
Miles away from where the battle is taking place in.
Lives altered on the altar
As they spray the church buildings,
Arrays of bullets breaking down the walls
And the church ceiling.
Silence as the only thing bright they’ve seen all night
Is when a ray of light comes through a hole
In the stained window pane,
Shone in the face of a solider now fallen.
Nothing can change his widow’s pain.
Not a minute wasted to recover the soldier’s remains,
Only time to take cover;
Make haste before your body is claimed.
The fight goes on, no one goes home,
Non early departure from battle grounds
Only dearly departed.
Fire rounds, loud sounds
Can’t remember why the war started,
Nor do you give a ****, too many bodies discarded.
The soldier then finds a space
In the corner of some abandoned place,
Cries tears as he feels disgraced,
Don’t want the “Medal of Honor” they’ll shove in his face.
They don’t know the deep dark secrets
And what took place.
Only the soldier and his enemy can understand
This rage, this hate!!!
This hate to be loved,
The truth he has to face.

He wasn’t faithful to his country,
No,
He was not faithful to his wife.
He’s dead to her,
She’ll never take him back.
She should have left him
The day she found him cheating the wedding night,
She thought he would change,
Thought everything would be alright.
Ignorance over common sense,
The way of ones in love.
These are the wars and battles we go through
When one’s in love.

I REFUSE TO LOSE…
Most dudes are confused,
Stuck between the two,
Wondering if the one is really you,
Or if their mind is playing tricks,
So they just never mind, which is a terrible thing to do.
It’s easy to walk away, and just say,
“I’ll try another day”
Or “I’ll try another way”
The answer is right in their face.
Fear of commitment is what it usually boils down to,
Afraid…
Afraid they’ll give you all their trust, just to get played.

But I’m not confused nor afraid,
See, I’m confident in my confidence,
I know that you’re the way.
You’re the path that god has paved,
And I won’t be led astray.
I’m not like those other dudes,
Confused minds have made them fools,
Fear filled hearts have changed their moods,
I’m smarter, so many mistakes, I know, I grew,
It’s altered my personality and my point of view,
On love, relationships and even you,
You see I’m ready to do, what I know have to,
Packed my thoughts, I’m ready to move,
But there is a problem between us being two,
And my love that problem is you.
Still I REFUSE TO LOSE.
Most girls know what to do,
Confident on who to choose,
No hesitation, no interludes,
No deep thinking, it would just prelude
To lose, who they wanted to give all their love to.
It’s easy to say, “We’re meant to be”,
“He’s meant for me”,
And “Just wait, you all will see”,
Or “I do!”, really fast, before the question has been asked.
Fear of loneliness is the problem
When you look inside,
Afraid…
Afraid they’ll be alone for the rest of their lives.

But those girls are nothing like you.
You're unsure what to do,
Indecisive with your decisions.
Your insecurity has you imprisoned,
Steel bars made from your blurred vision,
And you’ll never break the tension.
You’re not like other women,
Your mind is not confined,
It’s just your heart being blind.
You’ve made mistakes but have yet to grow,
Past regrets will stunt your growth,
You have to Learn, Live and Love to make the most,
Throw away those futile, feudal thoughts,
And let me show,


You don’t have to worry
About those problems and mental feuds,                                                                                 When you REFUSE TO LOSE.

I don’t believe in love at first sight,
But I believe that at the sight of your first love,
It can ignite feelings that they are the love of your life.
But because at first glance, it enhanced your feelings,
Putting you in a trance, it killed your real chance
To have what you so dearly wanted.
You pranced, jumping way too soon,
Making a move before the clock stroke noon,
Not knowing that your prince charming
Could care less if you lived life by the broom.
Regardless of the fact that others seem richer,
When you make haste
He'll return to your place with the glass slipper.
At first sight
You weren’t much a beauty to behold,
Not because you didn’t look amusing, no.
It just took time to recognize
There was more beauty enclosed,
Shown through your mind and soul,
And only time would let it show.
Not even your eyes could notice this beauty,
Only the mind could know.
So even if a man was blind in time he would know,
That you were beautiful.

It’s hard to find the right words.
Only with time can that part of mind muster
And uncover
The correct terms clustered
And afraid to be spoken,
So they’re just uttered,
Silently
My mind reacts violently from frustration.
The feelings, so true, so blatant,
Will never be spoken.
Instead forever mistaken
For not a feeling at all.
From your mind forever vacant,
While my soul continues aching.
Afraid of being denied, afraid of being neglected,
Afraid of being a lie, afraid of being rejected.
Or is it that I realize the true fears of the words.
Afraid to be recognized, afraid to be respected,
Afraid to be analyzed, afraid to be accepted.
They just cower and remained hidden
In the pit of my soul, feeling so forbidden.
Not to be shown, spoken or even
Written.
Deep down inside I know
You’ll never know how I feel
And I accept my defeat because
I just don’t have the will,
And never will.

Two souls staring at each other, through the eyes of lovers.
Hearts beating in unison to a beat familiar to one another.
Minds get lost daydreaming of what the future beholds.
Holding hands, with locked fingers tightly never letting go,
Perfection as affection is shown the way it’s expected.
It’s still so unexpected the way your heart’s affected.
Your heart skips a beat, at that moment you lose breath,
You see a lifetime in each other’s arms,
And an eternity after death.
Assurance in the minute you noticed each other’s existence.
This feeling, this beauty,
This Love
Was instant.

Why do we “Fall” in love?
If love is a positive,
And to fall is a negative,
Can someone tell me how it is?
You can fall down with something
That’s supposed to uplift you?
Going the wrong way with love
That’s the only issue.

I believe those who fell in love,
In love they failed,
And their relationship as a whole
Is dispelled as well.
So **** falling, I’d rather Fly in Love,
I’d rather rise to cloud nine in the skies above.
And even still,
I have to keep it real,
It’s hard to tell if what you’re feeling
Is really how you feel.
But instead of leaving our status at a standstill,
I’d rather take small steps so our status still stands.
And in due time we can move on with our flight plans.
I like you, but if I say I love you it wouldn’t be right,
So instead of being in love,
Lets settle for being in like.
When we’re ready take a ride in the skies with doves,
Will be the same time we rise above
And finally
Fly in Love.

I’m a fresh out of high school, freshman, at college.
I got scholarships and grants,
So to my mind I pay homage.
It’s granted that I’m a scholar,
Ready for the next look.
Made my way to school, no cash for textbooks,
I can work my way around that,
But that was only the beginning,
Then my mind got caught up in the time I was spending.
Mood started dropping in the letters I was sending,
Moms got worried cause my grades started slipping,
And matters got worst when my girl started tripping,
Couple trips to my home,
Family matters rise,
School coming to an end,
Stress at an all time high.

First summer out of college I get guns to my brain,
Out of school and in the city, the drama remains.
They never pulled the trigger
But my hood still shooting for me.
My problems getting bigger,
But my mom still rooting for me.
So I got to keep fighting,
With the dark truths you threw before me.
I stand in this line to success,
And everyone getting through before me.
I’m not making excuses;
I’m just trying to tell you the story.
I wouldn’t say I lost my way
Rather my way lost me,
So I have to change my ways,
Because losing is costly.
I refuse to be lost just as I refuse to lose,
I was just misplaced,
Just as you do a pair of shoes,
But I found where I was,
And I’m ready to move.

I am not a college dropout,
Just fell really hard,
I did fail some classes but won’t be classified as a failure.
I just failed to recognize seriousness of my decline,
Decided on readmission and I’ll admit I was denied.
My past had a grasp that was too hard to shake,
And it’s still trying to grab me back to that mental state.
Hood mentality, but I won’t diverge from my reality.
I will not return to the state of mind
That tries to keep me down.
Memories will be the keepsake,
That state tried to beat me down.
You think I climbed in this position only to drop out?
The only thing I’m dropping is bad habits
And regretted mistakes,
All of which are trying to block my escape.
I just want to leave the past in the past,
And just pass every class
That’s thrown in my face.

I will deny anyone or anything that states…
“I have to face the fact that failure is my fate.”

Continue to complain about how insane I’ve become,
I commend you for not running away.

I defended you
When the offensive ones pointed crooked fingers.
Now I linger in a hollow heart that cannot love,
A heart destroyed by the bitter forces of regret.

I bring you the sweetest peace after the loudest storm.
And in return I receive,
Sorrows borrowed from yesteryears
Carried onto the morrow.

Don’t bury the hate that resurfaces, destroy it.
And don’t carry the weight that brings down, drop it.

I climbed the highest tree in the woods,
Stumped at first, but jump,
I would.
Fell,
I did, but I climbed against winds,
With splinters digging in,
And then I wind down,
Fix wounds with leaves,
A low amount of aloe allows me to leave.

For support, I chant…
Rise higher, higher,
Breathe lighter, lighter,
Fighter! Fight her! Ye Almighty Climber.

Level with the clouds,
And still not proud.
Still haven’t reached its height,
The top is out of sight.
Limbs far too weak,
But whose are weaker?
I must touch its peak.

For support, I chant…
Rise higher, higher,
Breathe lighter, lighter,
Fighter! Fight her! Ye Almighty Climber,

Climate change,
Snow, hail, and rain.
Cold feet as frost bites,
I scream from tree barks,
Echoes…
So sharp!
I can hold
But the branch just broke!
Fought this far,
Only to fight chance?

No more chants…
I refuse to root…
Standing on ground zero,
This tree is the root of all evil,
History! For the house of eagles,
**** every bush!

Breathe fighter, fighter!
Lighter, Light her, Ye Almighty Climber!

Only you can start forest fires.

I learned to never be afraid to shed tears,
A sign of a weakness is often feared.
But if dark clouds can rain in the morning,
Why can’t our tears reign in the mourning?
Whether that be for the deceased,
Or the fact my mind seeks peace.
Ever so discreet, the tears meet my cheek,
It can’t hit my chin; I show no signs of defeat.
But my actions repeat, again and again,
And then, I finally let the tears reach my chin.
I would never cry over milk spilled,
I’d just wipe it off the floor.
But I’m not afraid to wipe my face,
When the tears reign and pour.

The father is an abuser,
The mother is a user,
The child is forgotten…

The father is an abuser.
The father beats his way to happiness.
The souls he crushed are just an inch,
Compared to the miles of lust.
Manipulation made from fear
He embeds in the woman’s ear,
As he says he loves her to death.

The mother is a user.
The mother beats herself to happiness,
Her husband abuses her health,
But no more than she abuses it herself.
****** destroyed the once heroine,
Detoxified once,
But it’s there again.
Forever will the drug be her medicine.

A Hug,
How underrated
Available in the avail of a kiss,
Or the escape of one.

At birth
My mother showed me loves worth
Calmed the loudest cries
Hushing me
Just by holding me
Keeping me warm
Through the coldest times

As I grew older
This demonstration became more familiar
With family
So many I managed to manifest
My mannerisms allowed
Long embraces
That mattered so much!
All from a simple touch

The first time…
The first time,
With the one I loved
******* lacked satisfaction
If after the contraction
We weren’t in each others arms…
Relaxin…

Chest to chest
You hold her
Can two hearts get any closer?

If my only love
Was to take her love away
In the most selfish absurd way
Spurned my love
She still wouldn’t be too stubborn to hug
Once the years have spun away

The best reconciliation

A Hug,
A gesture so benign
Even if I were to express
With my best friend, a canine
Or my only companion, a feline
People still wouldn’t see I
As constructed of *******
Alerting not a soul
Hearts become sole
Even when shared with animals.

Making Love,
Is not limited to ***,
Or a kiss,
Instead,
The same bliss
Can be met
With a Hug.

What’s Love, But a Hug?

I am the greatest love maker,
But the worst love show-er,
Didn't know what to show her,
So I showered her with petty symbolisms,

A rose, to display the danger and perfection,
A ring, for her everlasting beauty,
A song, to sing from the heart
A thong, to dance in, to prepare romancing,
Shoes, to walk in with class and elegance,

Still not enough
And so I gave,
A watch, so show time is of the essence,
A car, to take her to any destination,
A house, to make home
With A dog, so she’s never alone

Still it wasn’t enough
And so I gave,
A clone of me
So I’m never really gone,
My arms to embrace,
My legs, to stand,
I even gave
My feet and hands.

She rejected everything,
Down to
My skin to hide the inner workings
My bones for supporting
My nerve
My muscles for strength
My height for length
My width for conception
And my depth for protection

You wanted nothing
From the concrete
To abstract

From the start.

What was missing?
You wanted not a thing,
But
My heart.

I only had a shot
But I guess it went to my head…

Alcohol is wrong
Even if it’s just a sip
It will make the cool, calm,
Collect
Calamity and chaos
The cause and effect
Affects those who loves the effects
Just ‘cause
Even when I have what I call
A “Babysitter”
That watchful eye by my side
I still drink til I die
Because when the bottles
Get to popping they wanna take part
Now my designated driver
Can’t remember where we parked
Now I gotta walk home
7 miles In the dark
In the Grand river of Hennessey
And come to find out…
I wasn’t walking I was driving
And I had my best friend
In the passenger side
And
That buzz in my ear
Was no bug
It was them screaming
But I was too buzzed to hear
I just cracked another beer

At the bar,
Cracking brews.
Brewing trouble
Only begets trouble
And it’s is made double
When you had too much bubble
I think I’m fighting
But I’m just stumbling
I think I’m arguing
But I’m really just mumbling
And when I come to my senses
I’ll wake up feeling like ****
Next to another naked woman
I never met
Yea I got laid
But when you don’t
Remember in increment
Of your escapade,
The sentiment fades
And you really just want
To go to the clinic to
To check if this chick got AIDs.
Harmony
Between the dark and white liquor,
Now I’m sicker than sickle-cells,
This liquor sells,
This liquid kills,
This liquor made me lick her,
Now I ain’t feeling well,
I fall under my hang over spells,
I swear!
I only had a shot
But I guess it went to my head.

Some sinister, cynic sending me sick signals,
Taunting me, teasing me,
Treachery!
Treason I see,
The reason for my recent reason to be,
Is for wreckage and the reckoning
My reality
Factual actual fictions is in my diction
The man in my mind,
Is minding my business again,.
Against the walls of my brain,
Signals reign,
Please bring more pain and angst!
Panic?
As I glance at my pen
The Manic
Maniac managing to Damage
Every page
On a Rampage
With no rage?
But by the way
I’m swinging this pencil
You would think I was
A bit temperamental
But my temperament's temperature,
Is irrelevant to the mentally
Disturbed
Stirring up tension
Did I mention
Means nothing to man on a mission
My missiles miss the misled and misfits
Because they weren’t
Where they were expected
My moon is now ecliptic
Messages eclectic
Ecstatic about nothing except
The inception
What an immaculate concept
The fact that my conception
Was from the product of
Of a project.
Projectiles impelled out my mouth
And impaled a man on the
Right path.
This ****** has committed his first ******…

Love does not hurt,
Love heals,
But when there’s bad Love deals
Love kills,
Only bad matches don’t work,
Can’t even spark.

And Your passion lacks flame,
Sticking with that lame
*** excuse for a boyfriend,

Or man,
Ha ha ha!!!
Sorry I can’t say that without laughin
But rest assure I’ll cry later
Not for me
For you
I know your heart sore by now,

And You still don’t wanna soar do you?

You’d rather stay put,
Aching in the same place,
Ancient mistakes
I guess it ain’t **** to
Age at an insane rate,
Stressing
The fact you believe in fate,
Sure
But what’s yours?
Tragedy?
Travesty?
You
Trials?
Tribulations?
You will be in your Four T's (forties)
And feel Misplaced

You miss the point
Like Cupid’s arrow
When he hit me in the face,
The first woman I looked at
Was you

And who you say you was married to?
Or engaged to?
Or engaged with?
Or will end age with?
Or whatever…
Oh, Never mind me,
I’m just hatin
Your engagement

Ring
Do you
Hear the church bells
And you say
I do!
But to who?
Or to whom
Him?

**** my light is just as dumb
I mean dim
As yours
I hate
The fact that I also believe in fate
And ignorantly
I’ll wait…

To love or loathe?
That is the question…

Answer
And the quest begins
Then ends
Happily ever

After
One’s up, on a time
When other‘s are down and hate
Your Laughter.

You a crook,
I’m crime,
I pay
You do time
You a cook
I’m the recipe
Which lasts longer?
And careful what you cook
You’ll live a lot longer
And careful what you butch
I think that beef gone bad
Careful how you cook the cow
It might have gone mad
And careful customers
Who prefer pig feet,
Even you muthafucka’s
Have to watch what you eat
Gluttony is for pigs,
Watch for the swine fleet!
Why the waiter waiting?
And why yo mouth watering?
Wanna chop me up and cook me?
Just to be
Too scared to eat me
See, I hate it when animals claim to be cannibals
But really,
Can a bull be a cannibal
If it ate a can of bulls
****, You full of bull
And everybody smell you
You need another helping
And no one can help you.
What the waiter waiting on?
You need to pump break-fast,
And if you need a few tips,
I got abt 10 for yo ***,
So take a sitting
And listen
To every word that was written,
1. Careful what you say, make sure it makes sense
2. Talk to men when they’re there, Never *****
3. Zip ya lips, even if you hate, Never Snitch
4. Quality over Quantity, know which is which
5. Real men prefer gold on their chain, not bronze
6. Brain put man on top of the food chain, not brawns
7. Make runs for the guys, Never gun for the dolls,
8. But even guys tell lies to make it to the sky,
Look up “Icarus”,
He died tryna fly
9. But if your wings aren’t made of wax,
You won’t fall, over pride.
10. Get a new job
If you don’t like the pay,
Cuz if yo *** was expectin change,
I got 1 .45

Listen, You a crook,
I’m crime,
I pay
You do time
You a cook
I’m the recipe
Tell me which lasts?

Say X 4 times
Then have *** ***,
And
** chromosomes, will come out
X amount of times,
and don’t XY
X marks the spot
So it’s X’s on the Eyes,
This is Dead mans treasure
What’s the meaning of his countenance?
Joe crossing the line,
Yea, you can count on it.

"....***** stories make front pages,
Massacres and killings,
Mayhem and ****** ,
A mad man is dealing,
This masked man antics
Is masking the city ,
The mind behind the gore
Is on 30th floor,
In a dormitory with no door,
Only a window,
With which
The nocturnal tenant tends to
Look over.
Watching
The overnight onlookers
Night walkers,
Alley cats,
Insomniacs,
And boulevard hookers..."

"....My eyes lay
On a prominent, candidate
For cannibalistic practices,
My dominant traits
Widows peak,
Vampirical feats,
Long, hollow teeth,
With massive molars,
Used to chewing meat,
Which sit beside my
Sharp Canines.
But my sizable incisors
Scissor inside the side of my
Silent victim
Select venom in him
Bereft of vocalism
Vocal cords torn
I violently vanquish
His speech.
He’s paralyzed from his
Neck to his feet
I throw him over
My shoulder,
Escape the obscene scene
Before I am seen..."

you **** me
Your grin aids
Shards from a heart shaped grenade
Hit me hard
On a green day
I envied you
I invited you to life
Without an end
And you turned down
I turned
Down
You spurned
Would've thought I scorned
The way you burned
Me
Hell hath no fury
Compared to thee
Impaired vision
But I dont need a pair to see
Your vanitys' fair
The fairest of them all

Your beauty was a beast
So strong
It could break through
Any ribe cage
And take a heart
I tried to show the world
You were wild
But can handle something fragile
But you just torn apart
****!
It hurts to be wrong!

You're an animal
Malicious as the quickness
Every time you pray
I ran away
As fast as legs could sway

You're the cheetah
But I got caught
Because
I'm the victim

You hawked me down
Your clause was
Awful
You thought it was awe-some
Too much awe from
Awkward moments
Like
Your pause
When I said "I love you"
...

You responded later
But to someone else
I have no response
But someone helps

Who would know the Beau had bow
And shot to ****
With a heart shaped arrow

Set the mood
So the setting
Sits well
Magnificence
Magnified
By the affection you've displayed
Imagine
If this magic we've witness
Could be the norm
Take off with me
As we cruise beneath the storm
Worry free
Hurrily
Through the gates of paradise
Before the end of life
Hold tight
As we ride
On the waves
Good byes
Wicked highs
As we set sail
Coast across
This endless sea
While islands stand idle
Sandy beaches touch
The tide
And your foot
Prints faint memories
On the shore

Your heart soars
And
Your heart sores

Blood paints tragedy
Across halls
Of a beach house
A spouse
Is found unloved
Barely living life merry
The wife carries guilt
And it hurts to birth sadness
Just to grow up
To be a killjoy
Madness
Clashes with a smile
It drops
Crashes in the pile
Of lost laughter
How tragic
The fastest route
To self-doubt
Was tooken
Scenic pictures
Seemed obscene
To your dark eyes
Images shooken
And unfocused
Under a dim light
One for both of us
Our past was so bright
But the future fades to black...

I can't wait till
Nightfalls
Tonight
I will
Construct nightmares
So insane
That phantoms couldn't fathom
Fantasies make foul turns
Fascination fails
You'll frail frantically
Your chain of the thoughts
Become a train
Derailed
From Loco motives
Your emotions
Are now
Monstrous motifs
Built moments
Before happiness
You'll stare
In terror eyes
Scared as cats
You scratch
Along wooden floors
Forced
Through dark corridors
The doors
Horror tore off the hinges
You're inches away
From no longer living
But as soon as you've given
Yourself away
I take
And make
Worse

Death dances
At arms lengths
I've never seen someone
So anxious
To reach

Too anguished to speak
How shall I satisfy?
This shallow heart
Is empty
But simply filled the rows
Of this cathedral
With people
Who payed
To see the price
You've payed

I guess,
Hell sales
This thriller will terrify
Eye's should stay confined
When I
Comply to my conscience
Can science comfort you
It claims this isn't real
Well
It really helped me
Make you feel
Comfortable enough
To sleep
Deeply
Anesthesia
Will be the
Reason for your sweet retreat
As soon as your
Sound asleep
I'll compile vile thoughts
And send you on a journey
With intent
Of you never returning
A one-way trip
From float, freight or flight
As long as it brings
Fright
By mars at night
Where nightmares
Are the day
And you're fearful of it's sight

Through the gardens
Head over heels
Over and ahead hills
Time met a forcefield...
"Love Metaphor's Field"
Shall we cross
The lines of the path
Pass pastures
The past matters
It's the path to the present
Pleasance
Now
Is the time
To take the future
A few Daisies at a time
Thier radiance
So similar to the sun
But Sunflowers disagree
To the utmost degree
And they still wave
Peace
The Rose says
Romance is beauty
In the eyes that behold her
Forgetmenot's
Are unforgiving
To those who don't...
Memories
Remind us
Of the pasts importance
And we move foward
Through assortments of bouquets
New day
Others aren't as please
The violets hide under trees
And shade thier purple face
And sing the blues
No jolly
Oh
Holly ornaments
Hang accross vines
And intertwine tight as twine
Or a kiss...
Tulips under the mistletoe
Such bliss

As free as insects
The Beatles
Eat the ripe fruit of life
We share
No one cares
There's
Strawberry Fields Forever
Sweet scents
As we swing
Life has been like a Jasmine
Imitating that yellow sun
And it's will
While we walk without haste
Through Love Metaphor's Feild

Her silhouette
Was etched too perfect
Shun
Anyone
Who denies her greatness
As gracious
And gentle as a
First crush
Her long legs
Slowly slid
In thigh high stockings
Toes touched air
Her hair gently sways
As she lays
Back arched

Art

In the way
She poses
As a model or prototype
Of what models
Try to possess
Photogenically perfect
Picture beauty
As an actual being
She can't be human
I feel
As if
I discovered something new
Fresh
Impressed
Just to witness
You are the shooting star
No one
Will believe I saw
You make a gold mine
Seem worthless
You're priceless
But I'll treasure you
Describe you in words?
Ha!
Webster couldn't do
That
Impossible seems possible
You explained love
Without showing your face
Even diamonds
Can't shine
With its multiple faces
To make it
Luster like you
I'll just watch...
I mean
****
I'm only a man
Amongst millions
Who would ****
To spend time with you
They would rather spend the night
I'd rather spend
My life