a piece of redemption once thought to be obtainable lost

Because i am so freaking stubborn my pride i would not give it up

the fact is the  i am the threat to your society i earned everything i ever got and you think i am gonna back down.

well your so wrong so until i get what i want your gonna have to fight the best in the WORLD at overcoming obstacles

as i think of her my chest pounds  at me like punch to the face.
there's one thing that i hear these things about her one more time that are false.
i will crack some heads to make sure they dont break her down.
i am willing to have scale ladders jump off  rooftops  heck even  have to climb a mountain the size of everest for her.   she is everything i want i may never be the one who be in the heart but i will be there as support

a few years ago we met our eyes met with enchantment  made me realize  something.
your eyes that can make hearts melt  and can turn ones world to a dream .
the dream world i wanted i want to share with you are the bright light at the end of my tunnel   and no matter what your smile is what keeps me going  in this harsh world

so i build you up and you still love him and like someone else so this guy likes you to so do i.
hey may be bigger than me he may be stronger than me but i know what he is a ****** bag i have proof.
he is just your next mistake and come on my best friend told me you wait for him really i am right here i treat you right i wont discard you for the next big thing   heck i  am not no bone head ****  i am kind man who's life is rougher than anyone  else but i still care about you and i wait and i make sure you  wont wait for the past you have someone like me one day believe me i am right here  in this world waiting for you

A change is coming   I stare at the night sky after a shock of lightening hit me. Tommorow could be my last day on earth. so i must live each day as if its my last. A change is coming you see i am following my heart no matter how crazy no matter if  i will leave broken

Its quite a nuisance when I feel like I tryed   But trying was never good enough I could have have up but my iron will will continue this fight till the end

So when you are called traitor what did I do I gave my reason and my brutally honesty I needed to find out of this feeling I had in me if it was a phase it was not it is imprinted in me Like that horrid image I saw that drove me over the edge I remember it like it was yesterday

My life has been something of a up and down war to find that one  single thing in this world I needed a person in my life that I tend to have a feeling of will I ever be the same again? I will answer that when I return  I will be ready for all arms open and all opposition and I be ready to end it all

In a week i get my chance to right the biggest wrong in my life and if your not clear is i am not looking to ruin anyone's night by any means but i will do something that no one has to do
to break this idea that We Nice guys finish last     you see i am coming for one reason and it is to fufill lifes promise you see i am fighting everything in my path my family turning against me a jack *** and something more clear its funny that   being filled with hate is not the best for someone like  me because when your past is always trying to knock on your door you make the same mistake  i made the mistake of  letting my emotions control me you see  when something is started with me i **** well i am gonna finish it so time to show the world the truth about what i feel

why i am still waiting for the one

how long do i have to wait considering love is just mess of emotions combined into one

waiting is right for the girl to basically pick the wrong guy while theres the right one right there

i stand here waiting for the girl of my dreams but when will it come only time will tell

I go to sleep thinking about  how my life has crumbled to to the ground


I   stand staring at the beautiful moon  realizing   what i must do  the darkness has not  told me bad advice

sometimes the dark places in ones hearts can either be their salvation or their worst nightmare i channeled both  

You see that the moon reminds me of Her it reminds me what i could have but i just due to circumstances by higher up i can not

I will take my one shot and trust me i am not your average guy because your looking at guy  who has been put down broken , stabbed in the back, treated badly because of my  stupid flaw

at this point i have  no other option but  taking this chance by throwing all i have left on the table  

because this one shot at redemption will be the higher ups downfall and it will be my salvation   because like i say the villain gets whats coming to him and the hero gets the girl

the intentions of the many have a grasp on all of us

we all follow like sheep on a farm following they's command

The  fact of being yourself is the key you need my intentions are my own

Ones intention effects us all  that's the message majority  rules in there system

in my system the lesser ones like myself get more help we need it more than They

as i am walking through the darkness staring at the moon light thinking of all i been through
i  may  not be seen by others as  what HE should be but i could care less
i overcame road block and road block i beat the odds  i look at that moon and think is she worth it
as far as i am concerned i am calm it wont phase me but she always have a place in my heart
my heart may beat for her it may pain me  to think of her and him but you see at least theres peace in the dark.  i see  that i did is bring her up why would i expect her fall in love me.  i should not be like that i may care about her a lot but you see there's one thing this moon light  reminds me of that feeling that i thought i  had a chance well he could be a ******* he could be  man ***** he could be nice or he could be something that i foresaw a another mistake you see this darkness and my thoughts think a like you could just make the biggest mistake of your life overlooking someone who cares about you more than him so he can tell me  back off in the future i say game on you took what didnt belong to you so i say its fair that i stay in her life and you make a mistake well haha  i win   and i am at peace while you walk into the light sad and broken like i was.

when you welcome the fall out of a choice you decay  and welcome all kinds of pain and suffering

i am decaying i am a mess i am the monster i did not want to become

I knock heads at this point to get what i want so    guess what i speak the truth i would act on my feelings but whats the point when you maybe be gone  

I am not gonna become the bitter monster again i was having something good and it was taken FROM me again so guess what God or whatever is up there F*CK you  because this fall out is a warzone and i be the last man standing

is it humane that peoples blood sweat and tears are spent in sweat shops

how is it considered humane to burn villages with hellish flames killing family

how is it humane that animals are mass slaughtered in modern day death camps

humanity has its dark crevices considering that people who steal from toys and tots

blind followers of a cult of false beliefs what is considered humane  has humanity sold out to   the dark side of humanity if  it is inside of us how we not embrace it  if we embrace some of it and keep our good side could that be the problem to this recurring event in the earths history the world will never know

What would you've do if you were forced to leave the one you  loved

What would you do if your last chance at something amazing was ripped away because your not what their chosen one is

I encountered everything in my way and I broken through dark dungeons I encountered madness

But through all the times I fell down   I got back up and did not quit

I am a real   Spitting image of  overcoming the odds.

The fact is when I return I will reclaim what is rightfully my place  

And in the end the higher ups filled with paranoid thoughts  of  re occurring antagionist i am no hero nor I am the villain I am simply we man who will do whatever I have to do to realize one of my dreams

whos the one" is she right in front of my face or someone i least expect.

is she perfect is she what i want i not sure the one will come in a while "

but i hope that my waiting working or am i forever alone i know i am not she will come just hope its sooner than later down the line.

why must  a lovelorn fellow have to wait for that chance."

why must i walk the path of the hero of every man who failed?

considering i fight this fight forever have been a good friend to her?

or why must i be subjected to silence   what matters  why wait?

when you can risk yourself put your body on the line."

when your on the broken road theres no one but loves victims.

that changes now i am the muse of the world i fight for that cause nice guys finish last i don"t think so.

why am i  fighting this fight? i fight it because knowing whats it like to have your heart smashed into pieces.

why is the lovelorn fellow doing i am the lovelorn fellow i wait that one moment of truth.

Even when i may end up die trying.

so i get the one taken from like that now i have no choice

So  what fine **** that i just walk alone   **** it

You see its bad enough that  my life ***** as it is  but why force somebody change everything for their own personal gain

I wont leave you  **** it you wanna take me put me in a casket and dead thats the only way i will leave

So i am the polarizing figure because I like to be honest with the ones i care about

You see sometimes the truth does hurt because  your idea of IT makes me sick you see i am not the typical guy

You see i am a nice guy yes but trust me there's another side of me due to emotions far from my control is that  i care to much

You see i do not care if my chances are far to slim i am the polarizing figure because no one has the guts

to speak out against the forces holding people like me down you see some people channel it through Cutting  violence , and attempting to make themselves worthless you see we are not worthless THEY are worthless

Because I am something else i am not the Guy  i been told that because of some plague i was born with i

can not  do certain things by my own freaking mother  you see i say game on because i can be the most

relentless guy on the planet  and as i channel my feelings toward that special girl in my heart you see why

I am polarizing   you see i guess being kind to others does not cut it  being a sweet gentle being does not cut it.  so  call me what you want because do not expect a fight out of me

i  thought of you again i really can tell you need someone there to be there
because i will  be here and i did miss talking to you  i thought you were mad at me
you need me to save you  i maybe not the guy you think of but hell i am here to prove that you need is me not that fat lying ******* i call a former friend not that one guy hell not my best friend you need is a guy who is not like the rest of those guys   you need someone who is always on the sideline you need a man who will make you smile not leave you for the next big thing  hell    i fought for you  i stood up for you when no one would

why do these feelings return to me  you see i may be not what THEY see

There's one thing we don't have in common you do not have the guts

theres one reason why i care about people because i been broken been  heartbroken you name it

you see i do not want others to suffer my same FATE  yeah i brought you UP and you through it away but face it  no matter what discouraging thing i hear i do not care you see i dont LOVE you i just want to be your friend i did but i decided against it

so i finally found someone now i worry if its gonna be short lived

short lived as success of some people who achieve their dreams to be ripped away

I be god ****** if i am ******* over again  i promise if its for someone else i

will  let karma  smack them in the face   cut  my heart up heck carve all you

please  i have many scars with various dark dark memorys  and good ones this happens well  war path  will consume ones heart and one will fail

because i did nothing to deserve it

i be god ****** if somone comes in and takes my life from me

I made a mistake i thought i could have something else because i could not have the one

Well i can see why people are flawed i know this  why did i realize this because i think i know who i really care for

I am  at this point stronger than ever and i get it  theres more waiting and pain and anguish  then anything

I see  the light of the end of the tunnel because i am willing to keep things the way they are but  we all can dream and wish  but   since my honesty is to unfiltered

why on earth did i walk away  because i am still here and hears the brutal truth that  everyone needs to know

9 days   i am leaving  and the reason i am leaving is i need a fresh start failure here comes back like a reoccuring nightmare

why on earth am i walking away from my home town the reason is i am sick of the fickle people  who toy with me  and one more thing i will always be there for the ones i love  the friends and family i just won't be here so failure can not follow

i wonder if  i am gonna live my dream?

I wonder if one day i be  going to state as  a part of a team that is great

i wonder if i find that one girl to fill that hole in my heart

i wondering if i can ever  look down the aisle and see me standing in their the champion of the rejects

if you were here i would be proud
my true feelings you dont know the shock everytime we talk
if you were here i would know true feelings from the heart
hope you take it and accept me  
if you were here a earthquake would be inside my chest

Jordan Stenberg ''TM