We say things like "farewell" and "goodbye" but a lot of times we don't actually fare well and the bye isn't good.
This bye isn't good and I'm not faring well.
I've said goodbye so many times now I don't know what goodbye means anymore but I think it means that this is the end and I won't see you again.
I don't really want this to be the end because it feels like there's a fire in my eyes causing them to melt and there's a fire in my heart causing my chest to burn and it's moving down to my stomach like a *** that's starting to boil and I can't hold anything down.
I'm rarely ever at a loss for words and when I think of you the only thing I can muster up to say is I love you and I know this bye isn't very good but I'll say goodbye if that's what I'm supposed to do. They said I could visit but your face isn't quite the same when it's a picture on a grave.

Fare well.
I love you.

My councillor once told me
that living was just like walking
we learn to walk through life and sometimes
we accidentally knock into things

and some of us,
we might learn to avoid knocking into things
or grow stronger so we break whatever we knock
but some of us might continue tripping on rocks
and after knocking things,
over and over and over again,
we get tired of falling and scraping ourselves
and we find that we soon fall into despair

and maybe one day, some of us will learn
to break our obstacles or avoid them
but some of us?
they never get up.
some metaphorically, some literally.

I forgive too easily.
That's my fatal flaw.
After all you have done to me,
I still forgive you.
Why?
I try to convince myself that I hate you.
That you aren't worth my forgiveness.
Yet,
my heart goes ahead and whispers from the chasms of my body.
"It's okay, forgive her."
And I foolishly do.

What do you call
That sense of impending doom,
That knowledge that
You're going to die,
Right before you die

It's that feeling of
Those few seconds before you
Leap off the edge
And suddenly your life
Flashes across your eyes
But you can't
Unjump your jump

It's that feeling of
Being rooted to the ground when
A car comes charging but you
Just
Can't
Move

It's that feeling of
Lying on the hospital bed
And your eyes start to close
And the beeping of your heart gets
More and
                     More      
                                                Distanced

What do you call
That sense of impending doom,
That knowledge that
You're going to die,
Right before you die

I'm sorry that I love you
So much, yet
I can't express
One bit of it

I don't know whether to
Meet your eyes when
You walk past me because
Sometimes you look so caught up in your world
I'm not sure whether to invade it.

I don't know whether to
Give you a hug when
Your eyes travel some distance and
You go Oh so deep in thought.
As you sit there, worrying,
I too worry about you.

I don't know whether to
Answer you truthfully sometimes,
Because the truth would hurt you more and
Make you feel helpless because
My problems are impossible to handle
(I'm very sure)

I'm sorry I'm so
Caught up in my own problems always,
So we never get to talk about

Yours