The years, they have come and gone so
fast, nothing seemed to last, like the loves
that have come and gone and when
we are young and wish the time didn't
pass so slow, as we get older, we wish
things didn't move so fast, and that the
nice things would last just a little longer.
In 65 I was seventeen, somewhere
between mean and lean and I didn't
know much, but most don't when they
are only a teen and my first love, dear
Anne was so young
and sweet,and she never missed
a beat, so soft and tender, a real
credit to her gender, and one day
she just disappeared and I can't
remember if I even got to say goodbye.
In 69, I was twenty-one and made my
living with a gun, in a no - win situation
called Vietnam and life was no fun.
Surviving 13 months of daily combat
I give thanks that I was trained by the
best - the ( Marine Corp ) but the battles
in my head would never let me rest when
I returned home.
The decorations they came, but I would
never be the same. coming home to a very
mean and angry Country that was fighting
an unpopular War and didn't seem to care
any more about their returning warriors
and just closed the door.
In 77 I was twenty - nine, aging like a
fine wine but waking up in a Hospital room
in Joplin one day from an automobile
accident not knowing what to say,except
"what happened to me ? ","where am I, and
"who am I ?"
"You can't walk" the nurse said and the
pain so great, I felt that I would be better
off dead and I was discarded as a crippled
by my wife and I was forced to begin a
new life which would be filled with strife.
Learning everything again that I already
knew like walking, talking and being a
human being was no fun at 29 but it had
to be done, because I had no where to run.
In 1980 I was recovered and strong
after rebuilding my body and I was
on my way to embark on a new way
of life and I had something to prove to
myself and not to anybody else.
In 1990, moving to another State,
with the idea that it was not too late
for a new start, and this time I would
have a new part to play.
I learned what the War had done to me,
and that our freedom never comes free,
and that I needed help in my head,
or I would end up up dead.
In 2010 I am sixty - one and wonder
what I have done with my life. Where
did the years go, gone like a vapor
in the air and all you can do is simply
stare in the mirror asking yourself
"is that really me ?"
Then this Angel came out of nowhere,
this beautiful lady who needed me I
thought as much as I needed her.
It took 61 years to find her and we
were together for two years in a union
that I thought would last forever, but
for her the truth was never.
She lied to me for two years about her
past and her intentions so she could use
me and keep herself amused.
I couldn't see what she was doing
because my love for her was so strong
and she just wasn't equipped to handle
so much love and it didn't take her long
to find someone else that could keep
her amused.
When I found her,I thought that real
love was unstoppable and that it would
always find you and that you could not hide.
Instead I got taken for one big ride by this
Kansas Queen who also turned out to be
very mean and who thought that she could
get away with it clean.
Together I thought that we faced the World
with our hearts in each others hands and I
thought that we knew that the others love
was true.
But upon discovering her lies she only
made me blue because her lies were so cool
and so very cruel it made me think I should
go back to school.
With her lies she professed her love for me
and I smiled because she made me happy
and she let me know if I made her mad or
made her sad.
But she appeared much to my surprise
to be glad when I opened the door for her
to leave and I was even more surprised
at how fast that she hit the door running.
Was it to another man who was waiting and
knew she was coming but that's all right
because it really doesn't matter because I was
glad and fortunate to see her scatter.
So we must be prepared for changes that
come at us so fast often leaving you to wonder,
"how long can I last?" and leaving you
wondering "how did I last this long," when
so many times you thought you were gone.
She told me everyday for two years
that she loved me and that that she
would never leave me saying to me that
I was the "one" that had been sent to her
by Jesus, and in the end I was just numb
and must have looked pretty dumb
because I believed all of her lies which
resulted in so many cries.
Life will blindside you when you least
expect it so we have to learn to expect the
unexpected and learn to love and not hate.
In the beginning she showed me that I
could love, taking away my hate but in
the end she took away that love
and brought back so much hate.
Because of her lies I will never be the
same because it was all just her game
that I lost but I will never play that
way again and I will never lose like
that again.
I will survive and live to see another day
and another love will come my way.
Just do what you have to do to survive
while you are on this crazy ride................
Jon York wrote 2010, edited 2012