I am tired
and I thought you
were better than petty offences
that sit between things that aren't said.

We both have our secrets
but I won't hold the unknowable
to my chest and pretend
like it holds something precious
when all it holds is a "what if"
with no satisfiable answer.

I loved you because you held me
like I was human
but now you push me away
like a toy you've deemed defective.

I don't know what to think,
its hard to believe this is you.

I miss you
though I'm always beside you
grieving, watching you grieve
for a life that's not yet over
but fading with every sunrise
and sunset.                                                                      Jon York    2021

It  seems  crazy  sometimes,
just  trying  to  stay  positive
or ­ maybe  I  have  reached  my
limit of pretending to be normal.

Eating cereal with a fork since
the late 70's, a ragged collection
of wild ghosts that offend Heaven
with wanton paganism.

Looking for a peaceful place to
scream in terror at the realization
so many years are gone, going so
fast and I can't get them back.

I am old and gray and bald, and
walk with a cane. blinking my eyes
again and I am a great grandfather.

And I recall so many loves that
didn't last, that came and went
like a hummingbird feeding and
gone, some of them with insatiable
depths  that  needed  to  be  fed.

Some with hungers for the wailing
of tortured flesh,roaring whispers of
the men they'd swallowed.

But I know she is still out there
waiting for me to appear.                                         Jon York    2021

Making a big life change is pretty scary. . .
But you know what is even scarier?  regret.
In the end, we only regret the chances we
didn't take, relationships we were afraid to
have, and the decisions we waited too long
to make.

Everything in your life is a reflection of a
choice you have made. If you want a different
result, make a different choice.

Growth is painful, change is painful. But nothing
is  as  painful as  staying stuck  somewhere  
you don't belong.

Getting  your  ****  together requires  a  level  of
honesty you can't even imagine.

There is  nothing  easy about  realizing  you're
the one that's been holding you back the
whole time.

The fact that you aren't where you want to be
should be enough motivation,                                        Jon York   2021

Destined
             are our two souls
     found between light and dark,
          so tender is this certainty
                      of fate.

        When the Sun finally rose,
           delicate hearts didn't
                   burn to ash.

         Sharing deep confessions
             that grow these hearts
                         to one.

          May loving be our reason
                        for living.

        I ask that you warm my heart,
            soften my rigid walls and
                    bend my pride.

            From a blight of nothing
                    is everything
              to morph otherworldly
                            in all
                      that is desire.                                        Jon York   2021

You are                                                   We loved
delicious                                                 with a love that
and I am                                                  was more than love.
greedy,

You are                                                    And you were
generous                                                 a risk
and I am                                                  a mystery and
needy.                                                      t­he most certain
                                                         ­         thing I'd
You are                                                     ever known.
experienced
and I am
learning.                                                   Because
                                                         ­          I could watch you
You are flammable                                  for a single
and I am                                                    minute and find
burning.                                                    ­a thousand things
                                                          ­         I love about you.
                                                            ­
                                                                ­                          Jon York   2021

Someday
we'll meet again,

in another lifetime
of course

for in this lifetime
you couldn't be mine.

I'll follow your trails
life after life  

for my soul is bound to yours...

It isn't just love ( for love is
just an illusion in this
illusionary world ).

It is a connection that goes beyond
space and time...
a connection
primordial...

We will meet again...yes my love                               Jon York   2021
again and again
until
we become one
because I'm your home,
your beginning and end.