Sitting in a crowded room full of friends and family yet still utterly alone. Joking, laughing being a fool yet still alone. Why do I feel so lost and alone no matter what I do. This feeling as if I will never be good enough. To not be alone consumes me, burns me, drives me. Will it ever end, till that day I still sit alone in this crowded room.

The emergence of insanity with sanity, as the leaves of time fall. Wondering what place will my leaf alone. Drifting in the ether as it has been all this time, or will I find myself amongst another leaf who’s crazy just like mine.

The constant state of pain whether it's internal or never feeling like I am good enough for anyone. Always in a state of flux never-ending always hiding within my self pushing back all these feelings putting on a mask of humor and weirdness to the forefront for all to see. I just feel lost in a dark room and there is no light that I can see. Just want to find that love from her to make me feel like we are one. Till then I wander in this dark room for now.

I constantly fight the duality of my own nature. Seeming likely to let the depression of the past overwhelm me to the point of reply and insanity. Ever stuck in moments of blurred truths and angry memories. Wanting to let go as I am stuck in a constant repeat. The looming darkness that is ever-present hoping to see the light someday.  
Posey 2019

The mask I hide behind is cracking, fading and the black that has always lingered just beneath the surface it starting to come forth as the black moods are more prevalent. Constant battle in me, questioning should I let him out the one only few have seen or do I hold out as the weight keeps growing. Parts of me crumble and break I truly feel like I am bare holding on to smoke.

The ever incumbent thoughts of what possible outcomes, the various paths one takes in life. Wondering if this path that leads you here would have been different if a certain choice had changed. One of the deepest thoughts of the mind of my own madness,  that allows me to see all the pain in others as the eyes are like a vivid window that reveals all. Then hides his own like a mask. Letting humor lead me through life with the ever-presence of despair and utter feeling of failure. At times the weight of the world is easier than dealing with my own thoughts. If you see the pain and suffering in my heart some would be crushed and most would be brought to there knee's. Till that day I finally let it consume me like a fire, I will fight.

Even the strongest branch needs the rest of the tree to live, or it breaks off and dies. Just as the emotional balance is a thin line of chaos and tranquility. Lost in a dark room with no light to see, welcome to real life. The constant pressure of feelings of nothing brings the emptiness of being alone.

Posey 2019

As the waves of time crash upon your mind and soul, reminding us that one day our lives are just a temporary. Holding the notion that you have all the time in the world to say what you are scared to say with that regret like that on my mind, weighing so heavy as if there is an elephant on my back and there is no way to get it off me. The ever presence of the ghost of the past haunting your every conscientious thought. The waking nightmare that consumes you till all you are is an empty shell with a smile and some jokes.

Posey 2019

The emptiness of being empty.
The longing of being wanted.
The understanding of self.
The realization your always alone.
The past mistake that haunt your every thought.
The love that hates me still.
The smile and laughter I still hide behind.  
The hope it gets better even when all seems hopeless.
The love I have to share, these are the things I hold dear.
The darkness that sometimes reigns.
Posey 2017

Crazy is me and I am insanity's friend,
Small stillness of empty, consumes me.
The rage of anger is always welling up inside me,
It so easy to forgive others yet I can never forgive myself.

The dissolution of nothing, is the elevation of all existents, within the terrible nothingness that holds is self plausible to a higher purpose, for within the grand scheme we are all just players and teachers.
Posey 2015

The black mask of death, the proverbial dark elephant in the room. Looming over your thoughts and emotional state. While pondering the very notion of all of this, and the question of why this all happens. You either live and deal with the emotional state or you dwell in the black hole of grief. Time is precious not to be taken lightly as it is fleeting in the ever moving forward into seconds, minutes, days and weeks that give away to the progression of time itself.

Posey 2015

Life is but a second spread out amongst the perils of time in the precision of hours that make up the moments, till death herself calls you into her *****. As for love which transcends the perils of time and is heard as a whisper. To which the perils of time, parts letting love dwell in the procession of time itself. It seems that darkness reigns in this flurry of emotions. As do flowers wilt and die so does everything. Precession of memories haunting in a never-ending thought.
Posey 2014

Eloquent drivel of madness that accompanies love in its most sadistic form. The eloquent forms of beauty that accompany thoughts of her. The righteous madness that consumed me into loving and loathing her in my being. The addled heart so weary, full of mistrust and agony. The defense of no one will ever be aloud this close for there purpose is to pain to me once again. Distance kept hearts are freed from pain but loneliness still remain. So for that my heart will forever be incased in this lead armor box I've created to host forever more.

Posey 2014

When left to thoughts and devices of your own making one finds either madness or peace. As for me I find things to over analyze take apart so to speak and see it from every angle I can perceive. Until I dip into madness with the dark and premonitions of horror enter my mind and the flood gates open wide with knowledge and serenity take hold.
Posey 2014

Life is an illusion in which we drift thought. Not knowing the meaning nor fully understanding purpose till we have something, that firmly puts life itself into frame as if,  it start as a whisper then through traveling in time catches up as a long yell As to startles us into realizing the inevitable notion  of death.

The spectral of life—
Running free in the lose of innocents—
Demented visions of our past—
Loses of childhood memories—
Then there was nothing more to see—
Posey 2009

The overwhelming feeling of being alone. The overwhelming emptiness that seems to consume me even when I try not to. Why do I feel like an Orphan as if my brother and sister look at me like an empty waste of space and I not really their brother just some kid my parents brought home and tried to pawn off as family. The emptiness or nothingness that dwells within me seems to out last all other pleasures. It as if the moments of happiness exist in the crack of light in the vast emptiness of my being. Seems to rule over in my heart,soul and mind. My loneliness exist was created to keep my heart from being occupied with love. The sadness I feel keeps my soul from ever finding that satisfaction of the thirst it has. The constant barrage of thoughts which dwell in the darkness control my mind from being free to show people who I really am.

Posey 2013

With great love it doesn't just last a life time it lasts through out the many ages of man only to be whispered through the ages as if someone dreamed it once, for true love truly never dies.  
Posey 2012

One's longings sense of loss for you for that all over again.
The bitterness of longing, when instead of moving forward the emotions and angry at one's self always. Brings me back to you and pain that, I can not over come seems to overcome, taunts me still with the evil within me rises up and makes me die and the goodness which is almost, gone lost or forgotten has not quite loss it battle for love remains and endures.

Posey 2012

Rambling with the mind of the madman that I am I just hide it very well amidst the chaos and beauty which existence simultaneously in my life.
Posey 12

Rambling running were does it ever end my mind is racing. Then the wondering starts again. Hard to think or even concentrate even harder still to even speak. Why the hell did god curse me with this disease this curse of the mind. Making it hard for me to learn, to grow, old habits hard to break. What the hell I’m I to do but only to learn forms ones mistakes. Were does it end only in death will I learn that mistake.
  Posey 00

Sitting in a crowded room still feeling alone with the thoughts that you will never be anything more than a friend. Realizing that even for a moment she might feel it too. The longing for her to see you as something more, but still only a friend, time to harden for, that which is forbidden. So as I have several times before sit in silence and say nothing more.

  Posey 2011

Running through thoughts of lost love. Tormented by the things out of my control, losing her. The pain, trying to bury my feeling but remembering what we had if only for a moment. The torment of lost still lingers.

The true test of Strength is only shown. When the test of a mans limits are pushed to the breaking point, of what we thought we could handle in this you find a peace between chaos and tranquility.