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Today me and my father and mother
Went to Windsor to visit my aunty then to Maitland to visit mums mum and broadmeadow to visit dads mum
And dad used to love to have a beer
With my cousin which made my
Nanna mad and then went to a motel
And watched basketball and on nye
And a naked crazy person knocked on
My door asking for money and clothes and because my nanna just died I told the crazy person to get lost clown so I can watch nye events, I was smoking like a chimney that day, and a friend rang me to ask me if I want to go to Adelaide as opposed to staying at the oldies yelling at them, you see my schizophrenic was playing up, I wanted to be cool with my
Parents, I said come on dad drive me to
The airport so I can get on a plane to Adelaide and they said no and I yelled
Ya f..n c..t who do you think you are, I want to go to Adelaide to watch Barnesy
At Alberton oval but instead I watched it
On TV and I said come on dad be cool and dad said I don’t want to be cool and
I said, oh really oh my god you are such a **** dad, why don’t you want to be cool
Being cool is the no most important thing in the world and dad said bah be off with you, we should’ve left you at home, and I said yes, I much rather be in Adelaide rather than visit the olds and dad said after all I do for you, you ungrateful coward and I said what have you really done for me fool, you tried to get me in the special Olympics when it isn’t as good as the Paralympic’s because you don’t get paid, so think about it dad that is not a good idea but I am sorry and dad said no your not, your a fool, I said hang on yeah fool go home mate and then I said I like family holidays rather than parties because you can go to the shops and the footy but you dad, you aren’t cool, you just want to make sure nobody sits in your chair you big baby and my schizophrenia was making me get worked up but I just disagree with people dominating chairs it is just silly, I know they work and they ned a seat but they have seats everywhere but to dads view I was a real slob, when I was eating and then I acted out my problem I had with my parents and despite what I said they thought they were right and you see I can’t see the point with
Saying which chair is which, why can’t I felt like getting the chair and knocking it over dads head like Bart did with Homer
All I wanted to be is be cool, ya know sit anywhere not worry that ya dad will crack a phat about you sitting in his chair, what would happen if a fire came and blew up the chair and the whole house, well you have insurance but it would make you
Think dad wouldn’t budge and dad said, mate
There is no fire and I said bequiet there could be a fire, and all you care about saving your chair rather than your children
But I regret the way I acted because so I took my medication every night which made me turn into a mentally ill man but
It’s releasing verbal ***** which is basically what I was doing with dad. You see dad just wanted to be perfect and sit in his favourite seat for dinner and TV time
That is why bought foxtel so I can watch live baseball from the US but dad was worried nothing was getting me cheesed off, I just wanted to be a boys boy, a man’s man so to speak, I dominated the conversation with mums friends and mum got mad, I was trying to make new friends and he went to see me in my theatre performance and then he died just after my dad, and it was schizophrenia that made me hassle dad even if he used to say poor Briany and my illness was making me lash out at dad,
Concert on Jupiter



Hi everyone and welcome to Jupiter
For this great concert of great stuff

I was walking down the street ya know
Talking to all the girls ya know
Feeling in love with everyone ya met
Then I went to a party, dude
To say I was a party dude
I like to party everywhere
And make myself very happy too
You see life isn’t a bed of roses
People do have stresses ya know
But if you take those stresses
To make them less stressing
It will be fun oh yeah
Then you get a dollar
And spend it on something great
It is like counting your dollars
From 1-000 right up to eight
Come on dude come on mate
Let’s go out till really late
Maybe a night club
Maybe a casino
You can feel as cool as Al Pacino
One o’clock two o’clock
Your are a **** rock
Go out go out by the clock
And c’mon dudes let’s party

Next one

Hooray hooray
And see ya
Never want to meet up with you again
But if we must
It’ll be at a party
Where the limelight will hide your ugly face
Hooray hooray
To a paper which has a lot of news
From raiders getting cheered
For winning and if they lose they get booed
This is australia
Lucky land
But if you  believe that your insane
But it that in the land of the crazy drunks
Even if the girls all call them hunks
Just look them right in the eye and say
Hooray
Hooray hooray
Mate you understand
Nothing new to me
There are lots of phedaphilea
Going on and just one simple word
Instead of meeting them you say hooray
Hooray hooray
And goodbye
To my favourite life time friends
That this time will never end
Just say into their mighty eyes
And say hooray
Oh yeah, c’mon mate

Next one

It’s the badass christian devil
Who hates everyone who hates the word evil
You see he originally tried to
Bring music to heaven
But got kicked out for doing people wrong
So what you do
Is get rid of him
His future will be made to look so dim
He is badass, mate
And I don’t feel for him being kicked out of holy land
You need to get reformed mr devil
But people say that is an impossible thing
Reforming the devil is hard to do
Even if he says I am ready to change
You see this crazy faith
Believes in looking after our fellow man
But says the devil is unwelcome there
Oh yeah the devil said
I am here to change again
You let everyone out if they could change
But me oh me you leave me here
I am the devil and the devils advocate
And I want to say this
If you let out a man for
Killing his kids
Why don’t you let me out
For bringing music into heaven
The devil doesn’t bring bad things around
That is just looking for someone to blame

Next one

My my my Jesus
I want to become the messiah oh yeah
But if you understand this
That the messiah is a person
Jesus hates that idea
You see the messiah is Jewish
And are Christian man
You believe you are better
As you write me a letter
To become close to your father
And believe in the latter
You see when you are called
To build a temple in Israel mate
And walking through the golden gate
You bring people you hate with you mate
That will tempt your fate
You see he says he believes in peace
But he likes the way people ****
Some say he is the messiah
Others say he is a dill
And he needs a pill
Or two or three or four, maybe more
You see he isn’t very friendly
Except for the people he likes
He will buy heaps of shoes
Like new balance and our very own Nike
I am the Jewish messiah
And I believe in fighting the other
Faiths who ruin the Jews
You see a great philosophia
Once told me
If you want to get rid of your mental illness
Just run up to the tip of the mountain
And yell out WHT
And last night my bully trainer
Got up there and made me stay up
There all day and night for 7 days
Yelling WHY
First he said use your brain first
Then cut down on saturated fats in food
Then give yourself a thorough clean
And then yell out the big WHY
At the top of the mountain
We are climbing the tallest mountain
With nothing but a mars bar and
A few other snacks to get rid of mental illness
We all climbed up the mountain
To beat the illness
Singing rising up back on the street
Got my times and my chances
We sang more of the song
Till we reached the first stop
We ate a few banana chips
But I wasn’t allowed to eat
Because of the sugar content in it
And he said if you feel hungry
Just yell WHY
And I snuck a few chips
Like when my trainer told me not to eat
I ate a handful of grapes because I like them
We went up the hill
Singing and walking along
We eventually got to the top
And together we yelled WHY
And they all went down after a lunch in
Which the only way I could eat
Is by cheating as I go
I was good at that
So we went home
And relaxed and we still have mental illness
Bimmy jarnes performs again on Kepler


G’day and welcome to my show
The first one shows my love of teddies

Little cute teddy bear
Running around without a care
Cuddling everybody there
Little teddy bear
You see with this teddy bear of mine
Eats his honey, so divine
I think everybody’s fine
Little teddy bear
I drink this smoothie full of methane
A cows **** is what it is
And my bear sits on my bed
Waiting to give me a very good dream
What do you what do you
What do you mean
Teddy was put through the washing
Became nice and clean
Little teddy bear
I love my little teddy bear
Running around kissing and cuddling you
Yes everyone loved you near
Little teddy bear

Next song party in the land of Kepler

You see drinking and smoking
Not worrying about the side effects
Oh yeah bow bow
Every day you meet
Going off to the pub
Seeing people looking very smug
Giving a dime to the homeless
Saying drinking and smoking
Is healthy up here
My mum said it is healthy nowhere
Maybe she is right
But there is nothing wrong with
Giving it a go
Oh yeah bow bow

Sydney Sydney Sydney
Going to win this week
I personally think the giants are weak
Go the mighty swannies
Win oh yeah mate yeah
As we see them score many goals
Show em Sydney
Show em your the swans
Be the 2024 winners
Carn the mighty swans
Let’s win the premiership
And pour some champagne
Into the cup
And drink the whole thing down
Show em Sydney
Knock ‘em till next week
Where they will have problems mate
And we will have the cup
Oh yeah bow bow

Standing on the inside looking out
Standing on the inside looking out
Of the psych ward trying to get reformed
You see I am having fun in my house
When I should as quiet as a mouse
Drinking a Coca Cola down my friend
That is what I like to do
Everybody wants to party with me
Even the crew from the famous ED
They say you are the ones to party with me
Yeah yeah yeah
Standing on the inside looking out
Standing on the inside looking out
Of the psych ward trying to get reformed
You see back in Covid day
People were running on the beach
When they shouldn’t be, hey
And they take all the toilet paper ya see
And the hand soap as well
You see we had to stay inside
Like we were trying to hide
I hated it, I like doing things oh yeah
And PARTY is one of them
I was
Standing on the inside looking out
Standing on the inside looking out
With Covid trying to get better
With Covid in the psych ward
Trying to get better and get reformed
Oh yeah bow bow
It’s a cuddly daddy
Lovely mummy
I can’t believe I lost my daddy
I think of him
As he
walk about
I called him a great big ugly snout
I didn’t want to
Because I really loved him
I just thought he was trying to be like me
As I tried to be like a man who called me  that
You see what really happened he hated me
A real man who thought I was wee
But I miss dad
I miss him so
He was nothing like Homer Simpson saying doh
Oh yeah dad was a man that I loved showing
Me how to live having fun tickling me
Very ******* the belly
I was laughing and really cracking up
After dad stop tickling me
He made a coffee with a cup
Stop stop stop please stop
Stop tickling me
Ok
Today, Brian Allan and his friend Brendan were walking along the street, a phedaphile grabbed Brendan and said. Don’t move Brian for you will be next but Brian ran off to tell the police saying there is this evil man, he has my friend Brendan and I said, I am trying to be normal and they are chasing after me, will you save me, put me on witness protection or something but the police said, we wanted you to SHUT UP and let us arrest you for being a phedaphile Brian said
**** your see you ***** later, you aren’t getting me, you see I am itchy all over, and I feel I will suffer like a dog who is being put down after they attacked someone the police grabbed Brian and hung him by the neck hopefully soon to die
Brian said you can’t **** me ******* I am a tough kid, you will die do we will never be found out to be phedaphiles ok, Brian jumped out of the cell and bashed up the police and ran up the road to rescue Brendan and went home and the spirit of Patrick saying I want you be itchy all over and Brian said why do you hassle me, I was good today and Patrick said still not good and sat down on a white chair saying I will die soon but I said I don’t want to die, I want my body always to be ALIVE so my voice will last forever and i will not silenced and the phrdsphile let Brendan go saying don’t you and Brian cross me again because I can’t silence you too
I say I am a happy drunk
Mum says I am not
But what does she know
I feel like a happy drunk
I drink champagne
You see it is ever so strange
I am not like pop
I am a happy drunk
I am a family punk
I love life every day
I sit with other families
And talk to them
I tell them I am a happy drunk
Mum says no
What the bell does she know
She’s a brick and I want to throw it
You see I had a calm drink with
A friend of mine
He said don’t tell people
But he was a millionaire
Mum said I was angry
I am happy I am happy
I am a happy drunk
Mum says no
I remember drinking a lot
Rocking in a cot
Saying what a happy drunk
A family punk an I
I like alcohol
Mum is just worried because her dad
Drank a lot
I am a happy drunk
Mum says no
I am a family punk
Mum says no
What would she know
Happy drunk family punk
Is what I am DUDES
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