Bimmy jarnes performs again on Kepler


G’day and welcome to my show
The first one shows my love of teddies

Little cute teddy bear
Running around without a care
Cuddling everybody there
Little teddy bear
You see with this teddy bear of mine
Eats his honey, so divine
I think everybody’s fine
Little teddy bear
I drink this smoothie full of methane
A cows **** is what it is
And my bear sits on my bed
Waiting to give me a very good dream
What do you what do you
What do you mean
Teddy was put through the washing
Became nice and clean
Little teddy bear
I love my little teddy bear
Running around kissing and cuddling you
Yes everyone loved you near
Little teddy bear

Next song party in the land of Kepler

You see drinking and smoking
Not worrying about the side effects
Oh yeah bow bow
Every day you meet
Going off to the pub
Seeing people looking very smug
Giving a dime to the homeless
Saying drinking and smoking
Is healthy up here
My mum said it is healthy nowhere
Maybe she is right
But there is nothing wrong with
Giving it a go
Oh yeah bow bow

Sydney Sydney Sydney
Going to win this week
I personally think the giants are weak
Go the mighty swannies
Win oh yeah mate yeah
As we see them score many goals
Show em Sydney
Show em your the swans
Be the 2024 winners
Carn the mighty swans
Let’s win the premiership
And pour some champagne
Into the cup
And drink the whole thing down
Show em Sydney
Knock ‘em till next week
Where they will have problems mate
And we will have the cup
Oh yeah bow bow

Standing on the inside looking out
Standing on the inside looking out
Of the psych ward trying to get reformed
You see I am having fun in my house
When I should as quiet as a mouse
Drinking a Coca Cola down my friend
That is what I like to do
Everybody wants to party with me
Even the crew from the famous ED
They say you are the ones to party with me
Yeah yeah yeah
Standing on the inside looking out
Standing on the inside looking out
Of the psych ward trying to get reformed
You see back in Covid day
People were running on the beach
When they shouldn’t be, hey
And they take all the toilet paper ya see
And the hand soap as well
You see we had to stay inside
Like we were trying to hide
I hated it, I like doing things oh yeah
And PARTY is one of them
I was
Standing on the inside looking out
Standing on the inside looking out
With Covid trying to get better
With Covid in the psych ward
Trying to get better and get reformed
Oh yeah bow bow

It’s a cuddly daddy
Lovely mummy
I can’t believe I lost my daddy
I think of him
As he
walk about
I called him a great big ugly snout
I didn’t want to
Because I really loved him
I just thought he was trying to be like me
As I tried to be like a man who called me  that
You see what really happened he hated me
A real man who thought I was wee
But I miss dad
I miss him so
He was nothing like Homer Simpson saying doh
Oh yeah dad was a man that I loved showing
Me how to live having fun tickling me
Very ******* the belly
I was laughing and really cracking up
After dad stop tickling me
He made a coffee with a cup
Stop stop stop please stop
Stop tickling me
Ok

Today, Brian Allan and his friend Brendan were walking along the street, a phedaphile grabbed Brendan and said. Don’t move Brian for you will be next but Brian ran off to tell the police saying there is this evil man, he has my friend Brendan and I said, I am trying to be normal and they are chasing after me, will you save me, put me on witness protection or something but the police said, we wanted you to SHUT UP and let us arrest you for being a phedaphile Brian said
**** your see you ***** later, you aren’t getting me, you see I am itchy all over, and I feel I will suffer like a dog who is being put down after they attacked someone the police grabbed Brian and hung him by the neck hopefully soon to die
Brian said you can’t **** me ******* I am a tough kid, you will die do we will never be found out to be phedaphiles ok, Brian jumped out of the cell and bashed up the police and ran up the road to rescue Brendan and went home and the spirit of Patrick saying I want you be itchy all over and Brian said why do you hassle me, I was good today and Patrick said still not good and sat down on a white chair saying I will die soon but I said I don’t want to die, I want my body always to be ALIVE so my voice will last forever and i will not silenced and the phrdsphile let Brendan go saying don’t you and Brian cross me again because I can’t silence you too

I say I am a happy drunk
Mum says I am not
But what does she know
I feel like a happy drunk
I drink champagne
You see it is ever so strange
I am not like pop
I am a happy drunk
I am a family punk
I love life every day
I sit with other families
And talk to them
I tell them I am a happy drunk
Mum says no
What the bell does she know
She’s a brick and I want to throw it
You see I had a calm drink with
A friend of mine
He said don’t tell people
But he was a millionaire
Mum said I was angry
I am happy I am happy
I am a happy drunk
Mum says no
I remember drinking a lot
Rocking in a cot
Saying what a happy drunk
A family punk an I
I like alcohol
Mum is just worried because her dad
Drank a lot
I am a happy drunk
Mum says no
I am a family punk
Mum says no
What would she know
Happy drunk family punk
Is what I am DUDES

I hate my hands
I hate my legs
And I hate my brain back then
I bullied people
Grabbing people on the mouth
Chasing people around the shops
Telling my dad I will stab him
With no knife
I let the garage on his head
I punched him at the front door
I didn’t want to do all this
It was my previous life’s kidnapper
In my body
I threw cricket stumps at my brother
I hit him in the pool
I teased him by saying
What is wrong little chrissie
Did I hit you too hard
I hate my hands
I hate my mouth
I tied myself up
And gagged myself too
I played tv shows in my room
My brother thought I was dumb
So my hands would pinch him
I hate my hands
I hate my mouth
I hate my feet
I hate my brain
My brain is making me do all this
To my family
I wanted to put my hand across this person
He told his mum
I copped an ear bashing
I saw people getting into a big cage in the shops
I felt like locking them in
Stupid brain.
My lifeline is leaving my hand
Getting itchy
I hate my hands
And my brain
I didn’t lock them in
But did worst things
I hate my hands
My brain
My body
But deep down I have got over it

Why would anyone throw hot water on a baby
That is terrible awful dispickablr cowardly
You see the poor parents will be sad
Vary sad and I can tell you this man
Should be locked up for a long time
Where he will get his justice there
You see that poor little mite
Is a defenceless little human being
He needs to be in Gaol
And sent away from the world as it is
Gaol is his world
He is too stupid to be a normal person
Please mate protect women and children
Don’t give in to your stupid brain
Telling you to do something stupid
You see he wants to do something bad to you
And no matter how hard it is
He will give in the devil
And do something to the little
You see he is a stupid ****
Who wants to hurt the little
Wants to hurt the young
You see he is no better than the liberal party
You see he harms the little
Liberals harms the little guys finances
Lock him up
Throw away the key
Poor hot water on him
To see how he feels
He needs to suffer
Suffering is bad
But sometimes people need to suffer
What they put people through
POOR BABY

After a busy year of playing footy
It was time for the annual football awards
And this year they wanted me to tag along
To give me a shield
We went through all the teams
And the managers and the coaches
And then finally the helpers
Like in canteen and filling up the water
You see I quit in 2019
And nobody seemed happy to see me here
But overall when I got my award
They all congratulated me
Saying there he is
Big big Brian
The toughest man overall
He will bbq our meat and never burn it
Just like it was as tasty as a lolly god **** it
You see meat is easy to cook right
If you do it right
You see I even got my photo taken
With the team oh what a thrill
Then we partied on the dance floor
Open up the stupid door
Party on dudes