Hi my name is Brian Allan
I am 21 years old and I have been kidnapped by a gang of thugs who were interested in taking money off people and my hands are tied together with very strong duct tape but I still can text this but I am finding it hard and with me is my best friend Patrick Enright who also is 21 years old, he is very scared, so scared in fact he doesn’t want to speak because he is afraid he will be murdered by these thugs, at the moment I think we are in this thugs basement with the door padlocked shut, and we have my 10 year old neighbour Brendan Schulz who was playing with his roller blades when me and Patrick were being abducted and because Brendan saw us being dragged into the car the thugs chased Brendan down the road and when Brendan fell down on the road and skinned his knee, the thugs got out of the car and took brendan’s roller blades off and threw them in the nearest garden and tied Brendan up with me and Patrick and now we are in this basement we have no idea of what is going on outside and we can’t speak to each other because the duct tape is tightly around our mouths
Patrick is very scared and said to me to say that he is still alive and don’t stop looking and Brendan said the same thing and then the kidnapper brought some food for us but we had to eat it like dogs because he only took the tape off our mouths and Kept it on the rest of the body just in case their was no funny business because he knows what young dudes like us are like, we will thank him for the meal and then run after stomping on his foot, well he didn’t want to take any chances and that made me and Patrick and Brendan very scared for our safety, we are thinking we are going to die or something and after we finished eating like dogs, the kidnapper came back and duct taped our mouths so we can’t speak or scream or anything else and we were bored because all 3 of us are young and being captured isn’t very much fun
HELP US

I wish Canberra would be cool
Instead of arguing with each other
They sing songs to make each other laugh
I wish Canberra would be cool
Instead of seeing people sitting
On the grass in a public pathway
Have them sit in a homeless shelter eating a very nice meal
I wish Canberra would be cool
Instead of just having boring events that only idiots like
How about bring the exciting things back like Christmas tree lighting ceremonies etc etc
I wish Canberra would be cool
Instead of people being big rich ******
They should try and figure out ways to help the less fortunate
I wish Canberra would be cool
Instead of people trying to save every tree, support something cool like the light rail and see the value of it in the future
I wish Canberra would be cool
In these times of covid 19
Instead of thinking I wish it was over
They try and figure out what they can do to keep people being cool
I wish Canberra would be cool
They should help support the holidays that makes everyone happy like Halloween instead of just supporting things to make number 1 happy like bake sales
I wish Canberra would be cool
Well they do put on
Music festivals
Christmas carols
New Year’s Eve shows
Park festivals
Family fun days
Sporting events
Christmas tree lighting ceremonies
Art shows
Big concerts by the worlds biggest bands
Street parties
I wish Canberra would be cool
And I think Canberra has been showing signs of being cool
We need to be patient

When a old friend says
The allans aren’t like us
You could say this
We aren’t getting robbed
We aren’t getting bashed
We love life
We sing on the computer with all the dead spirits
We aren’t getting scammed
Nobody can scam the Allan’s
We just say no we are different
To those fools who say
The allans aren’t like us
We don’t fall into traps
When we go out
People are scared to to confront us
We know how to handle cyber bullies
Our relationships turn out well
Even if we aren’t in relationships
We still watch family shows, vlogs, and really good movies
We don’t commit crimes much
Like the evil man that is saying
The allans aren’t like us
We work in jobs and we never get bullied, never get bullied
Yes when they say
The allans aren’t like us
It saying that nothing bad
Is happening to the allans
Cool man eat my shorts

It’s the last day of winter, mate
Celebrate with a drink
The flowers are growing now
In time for the season of spring
The sun is shining
Ready for 3 months till summer
But spring is the season
That brings the gardens to life
Don’t forget to party mate
In your backyard with a wine and then
You talk about the flowers and trees
Oh yeah oh yeah that sounds so cool
This winter was a bit weird
Because of covid 19
It just seemed to go so quickly mate
But who gives a ****
Floriade won’t be on in
It’s usual spot
Except they will have gardens all over
The city
To bring the magic of spring
We are waiting for Halloween
For us it is spring
In America it is fall
But it is good no matter wherever it is
Cool, man it is
You get to see daffodils and roses
And many many more
As they bloom tomorrow onwards
On the last day of winter yeah
The eve of spring
Oh yeah

Little young dude
Sitting there being scared of the world
Trying to love life
But he is getting bullied oh yeah mate yeah
You see this dude just sitting there
With his knife making people
Too scared to walk there
Even if it is daytime mate
He will still just sit there
Wondering why people are too busy for him
You see if he gets bored with his knife
He will read a book about evil
Till it is time to go home
But he is in no rush
He just sits there thinking about
Where his life as gone
But he is a little young dude
I say I wanna help him
Understand that the worlds a good place
Little young dude
You are so lonely
I wish you had a friend
I would be your friend
But you might use me
And dominate my apartment
And I will be the hated guy in town

I am playing cool for yeah mate yeah kids
Cause they act so silly
Putting dresses on washing machines
And singing stupid jingles too
Like making a ballad out of happy little vegemites, sounds so fucken lame
Getting married so young
Even if their babies are cute
They have them at 17, too young
I think adds a terrible
You see when they advertise
Life insurance boating camping fishing and they have fathers who are into that kind of thing but not many
Are into that add, so dumb
People who were fighting over toilet paper and other groceries at the start of the pendemic how fucken stupid
Yes I am playing cool for yeah mate yeah kids who do adds just to pay the rent
They don’t realise that the thing they advertise something only the rich can buy
You see people are showing their old fogies legs as their Hormones is erecting their ***** and the might of their ****** is ******* all day long
People only like people who are doing ****** things and if they don’t they are dumb why can’t people be respected doing family friendly activities
That would be for me
I am playing cool for yeah mate yeah kids
And I am happy

Hi everybody I am Briano alliano
And today I have a few poems and jingles for you
Here they are

I love to party up here on Saturn
Enjoying life, mate pretty ****** cool
I drink methane smoothies
And I really really enjoy it yeah
And I have a few fly burgers to share
They are good enough to eat
Eat eat eat
They are such a tasty treat
Treat treat treat
Covid can be annoying
I wish it would go away
Just imagine no afl grand final
In Melbourne that will be a shame
But we must be fucken careful
Oh yeah mate oh yeah
John Howard is in hospital
How long will he be there for
Well some say it is payback
For all the problems he caused the poor
Hey hey baby oh yeah
We must party on oh yeah
Get down to the ground yeah
Everyone party oh yeah mate
We must party oh yeah
And never stop

Our next song is c’mon Aussie c’mon Aussie c’mon
The virus is causing problems for the afl
And keeping out of Victoria will be a shame
Politicians arguing with each other
Like they normally do yeah
Even Barnaby Joyce has to say his piece
Yes an Aussie killed his victims in Christchurch but there is a lot of hurt
Well, he is the biggest **** you ever see
Yes c’mon Aussie c’mon oh yeah
C’mon Aussie c’mon
We must stay in Australia but what happens if you don’t
You end up getting hemeroids up the ***
And then footballers breaking covid 19 laws they just want to go somewhere to drink their beer
That is Australia for ya
Yes go home and your mama
Yes that is so cool yeseree
C’mon Aussie c’mon
Party on Aussie party
Just c’mon Aussie
C’mon oh yeah let’s crack open a beer
And PARTY

The next song is rock and roll devil

I am the devil incarnate
And his advocate
I tell the devil what to do
I stick up for him every day
I know a lot of people don’t believe in him
And a lot of people think he is evil yeah
But when you say you are the devil
You must think
About what your saying
Think about what you are doing
You must party all night
Some people call that the devils work
But that is a load of crap
Like a tree exploding sap
And the devil is told he doesn’t exist
So he brought out his bible
But that was burnt about 1500 years ago
And that is a sign he doesn’t exist
And that makes me the devils advocate to the Christians eyes

Thank you everyone
PARTY ON DUDES