Farmers farmers
The mighty farmers
The backbone of this country yeah
They need to have rain to run their farms
Or it will be too dry
Each farmer is battling the Aussie sun
Doing what they do
Trying to bring Aussie produce to the tables
Yeah mate ****** yeah
Farmers farmers
The mighty farmers
The backbone of this country yeah
You see they need to help the future of this country get a good education
But they do need rain
And if you can you must give them money
Because it is a hard ****** job
My ****** oathe
It is great to see the worlds famous singers
Putting on a hay mate concert to help them out
And get everyone to sing great songs
Farmers farmers
The mighty farmers
The back bone of this country yeah
Come on Australia
Give three cheers for our farmers
Help them out
Buy them a beer
Give them the shirt off your back
And help them financially
Yes they will appreciate your help
And yes they will feel great
And so will you because you are
Helping the backbone of this country
Farmers farmers
The mighty farmers
Give them your time
Because they are doing it tough

Last night I was ******* in my bed with my best friend Patrick Enright and my other best friend Brendan Schulz by ivan molar who really wanted us 3 *******, you see Ivan grabbed Brian Allan and put him in the back of his after life Ute and then grabbed Patrick and Brendan and sat over them saying you three you three you three I will keep you three here forever
You see Ivan wanted to die so he could grab Brian Patrick and Brendan
And hold them for a hefty ransom, we were scared as Ivan stood over us with a very sharp knife saying you three boys or should I say men won’t live very much longer than where you are now, Brian said you are evil very very evil, let us go or I will bash you
And Ivan Milat just laughed and said
How could you bash me I am bashing you and you will never escape from me and Brendan said *******, get us out of here please but Ivan just laughed and said you 3 men’s kids of the 80’s will never escape you 3 will die in your sleep and the next day your families will be planning each of you’s funerals and Brian was scared as he didn’t want to die and started to struggle saying get me out of this evil realm with this evil spirit but Ivan wasn’t wanting to let us go, Ivan wanted these dreams to be our last dream of our current lives and I will hold Daniel morecombe with me you will never free him, you will never free yourselves and Daniel will join Brian Patrick and Brendan saying you 4 will never escape from me, I will push your bodies down onto the floor of this after life vehicle, none of you will escape and Patrick said please let us go Ivan and Ivan said no and tied all our legs real tight saying none of you will escape none of you I tell ya, the rope is on too tight and it is enough to make you suffocate and Patrick said it is Christmas, Isn’t that the time to be nice and Ivan said no, this is the time I make you four boys suffocate
Till you can’t live anymore
Heh heh heh heh heh heh
Brian Patrick Brendan and Daniel morecombe were struggling to get free because this man was not joking when he wanted to **** us and we were scared as we were trying to take the rope from out of our hands and feet and the gag on our mouths
We were very scared as everything was very tight, Ivan drove the flying panel van around the afterlife saying ha ha ha me the great
Got four Boys ******* in the back
Never oh never will they escape
Because I have them ******* and wrapped in my kidnappers cape
I can hear them struggling said Ivan oh yeah
But nobody else could so I will succeed in this kidnapping oh yeah
Go on Brian Allan and stay there Patrick Enright and keep there Brendan Schultz while Daniel escaped saying I haven’t got time to free you all, because I want my next life which is Ryan Donnelly to not have these problems and Patrick said mmmmmm mmmmmm mmmm
He was really saying please let us go
But the gag was on his mouth too tight and suddenly Patrick Brian and Brendan were being whipped and Ivan said I will ****** you three in your sleep and Brian Patrick and Brendan woke up but Ivan said I will get you when you go back to sleep
So watch your back

Come on rain
Just enough rain
To put out the fires
Which is sending the smoke
Which is forcing us to smell it
Ommmmmm come on rain come on rain
Ommmmmm put out the fire
Don’t make too many people suffer
Let people enjoy their lives
Ommmmmmm put out the fires
That are crowding eastern Australia with a puff of smoke
Ommmmmmm don’t make people lose the memories no don’t
Ommmmmmm Christmas is coming
It will be hard to spend Christmas away from their humble abode
Ommmmmmm and the teenagers who want to go to the coast with their friends
Ommmmmmm please put out the fires
Let the eastern side of Australia breathe easy please please please
Put out the fires please
Ommmmmmm bring on the rain
When the fires when the fires
Are burning we need some rain
Because if the fires keep burning
Keep burning more properties will really burn
But ommmmmmm when you pray for some rain you pray harder
To make it heavy and last long enough to get rid of the fire and the smoke that goes with it
Ommmmmmm rain rain come today
Put out the fires which are really going astray rain rain please send them heaps so it would put out the fires oh yeah

Hello dudes and dudettes
Welcome to Jupiter moon
And last night I had my bowling presentation and my team got the third place trophy and here is a poem about it

Yes I know we deserved it
Yes I know we loved it
It was pretty cool, and
I feel like partying with a few methane smoothies sprayed all over the place
A great night for celebrating
Every single one of us
Party party party
To say what a great team we were
It wasn’t second place
And not first place either
But third place gets a trophy
So we celebrate it as well
I remember doing the Macarena fast
Just imagine how tired you feel afterwards
The methane gets through your body
And you party like hell
Not in hell, for there is no such place
Ya know mate yeah
Doing the air guitar and doing the dance moves
While your trophy is in the box
Congratulations and celebrations
Brian Allan won third place oh yeah
It is a time to celebrate and have fun
Yes it’s time to really show our skills off
Yes bowling is a fun sport
And we all get together and have some fun
Giving high fives to everyone
As you won oh yeah
Partying is the time to celebrate
Winning the third place spot

And I mentioned the Macarena and here is the bowling celebration version
1 2 3 4 perform well at bowling
Don’t give up even if your bad
Because when I was a kid I wasn’t very good
But I got better with age
1 2 3 4 you see you concentrate hard
And you could do it
Just keep your ball in the direct centre
And the rest of the story writes itself
And all the glory
And you will be on your way to winning a trophy yes
1 2 3 4 come on ya ****** pin
Fall the **** over I want to be a top bowler at the end of the year
But you have to say with your feet stamping on the ground fall fall fall
1 2 3 4 you see I had my moments
But I still got there in the end
It was good it was grand as I understand
That yes if we win more games together as a team it will be fun
So much fun yes party on

That was the bowling Macarena
Which is pretty cool
And I am going to start my cruise around the cosmos celebrating my third place trophy with a few methane smoothies but before I go here is a little cool number

A B C D E F G
I kicked but at my presentation yeah
Everyday when I went to the alley
I came one step close to getting third place
It was fun and it made me glad
Drinking water and having fun
H I J K L M N O P
I celebrated up here in nirvana
Telling the cosmos I am the boss
Yes party on and never stop
Yes dudes party like you will never drop
Q R S T U V
Yes my score of 213 was the best of that week
I am happy as I charge my methane glass
Yeah mate yeah I kicked some ***
W X Y and Z
Come on dudes try and be on the same team as me

Ommmmmm what a great performer he was
Ommmmmm the great greedy Smith
Ommmmmm off to the big concert hall in the sky
Ommmmmm ready for his next life
Ommmmmm singing songs like live it up rock and roll music if you leave me can I come too
Ommmmmm you will be sadly missed in the music world my friend
Ommmmmm everyone will worship
The ground you walk on
Ommmmmm just imagine greedy
You were only 63
Ommmmmm you didn’t deserve to die
Ommmmmm it is mighty sad
Ommmmmm after all the times you performed in great venues
Ommmmmm I remember seeing you at convoy for cancer
Ommmmmm you looked pretty regular dude
Ommmmmm as you perform the songs that made you famous
Ommmmmm Jupiter moon is your next venue
Ommmmmm so you can sing your way to your next life
Ommmmmm you will join the young
Ommmmmm show the young how it is done
Ommmmmm there are plenty of parties going on up there
Ommmmmm and you will go to plenty
Ommmmmm you will be sadly missed
Ommmmmm live it up in your next life greedy Smith
Ommmmmm and party on

Hi Donald trump

What are you going to do for us now

Build a war to keep Mexicans out of the USA and we will live in harmony
Yes that sounds good

Yes, well Donald trump what is another thing you are going to do for us now
Well, today rick Perry said I was the chosen one, god help the world we live in

Well, what is another thing you will do for us now, Donald trump
Well, I will extract a political favour from Ukraine in exchange for official acts

Ok well Donald trump what is another thing you are going to do for us now
Well, I will surround myself only with the best and the most serious people

Well, ok Donald trump what is another thing you are going to do for us now
Well, I will appeal to the Supreme Court especially when they rejected my offer, what a pain it was

Ok, well what is another thing you are going to do for us now
Well, I will restore an accused war criminal’s rank in the navy saying dangerous dangerous dangerous

Well, Donald trump what is another thing you are going to do for us now
Well, I will put 2020 before navy seals ha ha ha

Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
You see Daniel will use his shoulder
And ram it into someone’s shoulder
Knock them over and stand over him
Yes I think it is wrong so I don’t want to be his friend no more
Because he would abuse people for
Reading the news
He would abuse people for looking at rich computer stores
He would abuse people who buy Foxtel and **** Rupert’s ****
You see I don’t want to be his friend oh no
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
You see he would go to the raiders
To support the Melbourne Storm
Saying he has the powers to make the storm win
He would avoid civic because of the rough people around because he feels they would bash him up oh yeah
He would watch the soccer
Cause that is the game he loves
He would watch the nba because
That basketball is stronger than Australian
He would watch old shows but hate it when they talk back at him
He thinks the mall crowd are mental
When they walk at him
I understood it and I feel for him
But to me he is a loser oh yeah
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
Since September 11 he would dream
To wear a t shirt saying these simple words I love osama because he flew a plane through the twin towers oh yeah
His t shirt talked back at him
You see he started that as Americans
Were driving him nuts
So he thought they would drive a plane through the buildings oh yeah
And ruin the rich man’s world
He knocked men over for saying
It was bad especially when he thought
It was ****** good
So if he had one he would wear his t shirt I love osama with a lot of pride
Oh yeah let’s celebrate the greatest day in America’s history what a bunch of crap
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Daniel Sanderson was my best friend
Till he started to knock people over
My helping wasn’t working oh no