It's in your eyes
The magnet that pulls me in
Draws me closer to the breath
The pulse
The need
Fuels and pushes
Drives

God your hands
Rough and strong
Gripping so tight
Bind
******
Enthrall
Chafe shivers along my skin

I dream you
Up against me
Bringing me back
Need
Desire
Release
And I dream you again

Can you hear my loudness,
In all this silence?
When you are near me,
Do you whisper to me quiet?
I cannot hear past the sound,
Echoes and echoes,
Chasing each other like waves,
Crashing like thunder,
Shaking the walls,
I tremble and shake.
All the outside disappears,
Into the blindness,
Into the colors,
Into the mindstorm.
Into the scream.
I fall into it all,
I float,
Wait to drown,
Lost in sound.
Till I was up on your shore.
In the quiet,
In the stillness,
I am whole.

I figured it out.
I figured while watching you out in the rain.
From the obscured viewpoint of the warmth and safety of my seat, clashing against the temperature at odds with the outside, in  foggy condensation at my window.
Watching you,
Cold and wild
Wet and Savage.
You. You are the reason, I think.
I think.
For the expression,
"Hasn't enough sense to come out of the rain"

I am Janus, born and lived of two faces.
One, a tragic Hero; who loved  for all and forsook fame for honor.
A paragon whose powers and skills remained dormant, forgotten.
Created from a darkness so black that light could only ever be the way forward.
He, so loving the world and resigned to protect; would fall at the strength of his own sword to keep the Villain at bay.
His other face, the frightening Villain; he thirsts for the unparalleled fear in the eyes of the unprepared masses,  who wide awaken their darkest fear before their very eyes, at his presence.
Forged from the evil of a holy goodness ripped too sweetly from his purpose, and with much foreknowledge of the searing light;
He merely wishes to satiate his amusement, by enslaving the Hero to defend against his endless onslaught.
I am Janus, cloven in two;
Heart and Soul, Mind and Body.

Such things we are made of;
Dark, heavy, intense things.
We long for something to pull ourselves towards, into another where we meet.

Together, we click.

With the slightest attempt at setting ourselves apart, the Tension feels hard and resistant to that comforting touch.

The longing for that electric connection becomes the indignation of the hardness pulling away, that tension no longer present.  No remaining feeling of magnetic chemistry, pulled farther and farther apart until forgotten entirely.

Such dark, intense, and lonely things we are.

A tiger at the zoo.
Violent, impulsive, and insatiably ferocious;
To be feared, surely dangerous?
Aging in captivity, he watches the people walk by; who mostly are thankful at him safely set apart from others.

A woman pauses in front of his predicament, and thinks," What folly is this? For I do not fear the untamed, I will test him and encroach upon his pride."
Her reasoning unclear, she approaches that cage;
Not caring whether for her safety, or his-
To **** into action, something that may or may not be safe.

I watched this from some distance, and thought,
"Will she push too far and his animalistic savagery will overcome, to fatally satiate her curiosity?
Or, will he give it no thought at all and  soon expect  his scheduled pittance of flesh to devour?"
After all, I reasoned, he is still a tiger.
I watched intently. And waited...

Why does love
For you,
Feel like
A tearful goodbye?

It is not hopelessness.
Simply the realness.
Cold and fully factual,
Empty,
Merciless.
Unhindered by
Untempered by
The heart's softening.
Logical
Calculated
Weighed and measured.
It is
As always
No more than that
It is what it is
And no less.

It's a just a spot.
A small spot, on the back of my neck.
The slight touch, like a warm hug or a quick moment of clear mind; to be lost in the feeling of it.
A tingling sensation of feeling.
She isn't terribly pretty, and has no idea or intentions. She lowers my head back, reclined and relaxed. A surge of water, and soapy fingers through my hair; a firm tousle with a towel, as if for a thorough finality of that aimless frivolity.
To the chair.
Her hands are skilled and carefully attentive. Not a thing out of place, that's the plan. Asking, making sure it's ok. With a plan of attack and a mutual understanding of what's to be done, we talk.
Meaningless awkward talk.
It's coming. I twitch at the anticipation of it's warm steel purpose.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
My neck is warm, and slightly tingling. Am I blushing? Better than blood flowing anywhere else, cause it only really is meant for the feeling of my nerves. Almost nothing else to read into it.
But, oh; that feeling!
I'm lost in the feeling of it.
...
"Hey! How does that look?"
She's asking. Where was I again?
It looks good.
"That'll be Fifteen, John*."
Great, thanks.
See you next month, I tell her.
I think I'm still blushing.

Her eyes shine brightly;
All colors of the rainbow
Pass through my own tears

Lightning strikes down upon
A sandy beach; Now,
It's glazed, refined.

I've fallen for you;
Incomparable, like a..
Uh..um...uhh...umm...hmm.

It looks inviting.
Clean. Fresh. Sweet.
I carefully touch it's cold and tight skin,
Lifting it slightly with a few fingers.
Feeling out, all over its ripe flesh;
Feeling out the soft and moist spots,
As gently as possible with a knowing finger.
Even just by looking, I can tell that the flesh behind the skin will be juicy.

After the briefest pause to appreciate the appetizing view,
I bring my mouth down onto it
Feeling the cold skin become
very warm against my mouth.
My mouth attaches to its skin and takes it apart with skilled suction,
(I'd hate to needlessly tear the skin to shreds with my teeth)
Immediately, my mouth is suddenly sweetly flooded with those sticky juices;
That savory flavor flowing down my face, mixed in with the taste of my own saliva.
...
I taste and drink it in. All of it.
The taste, the smell, the flavor.
I nibble away, emphatically and eagerly;
Excited by the rich and strong taste of it,
Pouring itself out to me from underneath it's skin.
I am enraptured by the entirety of it.
I wish I could eat Pears, everyday.

Love makes everything-
Sweet uncomplicated Love.
Love just is...Sweet.

I feel your love descend upon me,
Like a newly powdered snow.
I watch in anticipation as it floats down and moves to surround me in a soft embrace and blanket me from above.

I pause to take a long hot deep breath against its pleasantly shocking chill;
I play and dance in your love, runningly madly to taste its pieces of sweetness on my tongue.
Flushed with exertion, I stop to look to the sky again;
Marveling at this gift from above
that covers my being, and its epiphany chills me to the bone.
Such things are moments in eternity; Ah,
as fragile and fleeting as things that melt away.

The Sun.
Sun, settling after a journey west shares a mystery that cannot be approached-
Heat, it brings periodically.
For fear of burning others, the curious and the not.

The Moon.
Moon, moves on a path eastern by it's own whims. It moves along with a determination and speed of it's own. Cold, till understanding of warmth in the night sky is reigned in.

The path along which they run.
Heavenly bodies, mysterious in their ways and movements; cross paths,
Eventually.
When they meet, do not stare; for who is really to say who may overlap the other?
And, do not stare-  The coldness is merely the absence of heat, and the heat itself longs to be balanced at pace with it's own absence.
Do not stare, for you may notice the race for pacing of these forces on heavenly bodies,
And be blinded by their immensity.

I stand in awe of something that occurrd to me.
Fate. Fortune.
These things we seek in resolute fervor.
They pay their heed, merely at whims ineffable, like darts on a board.

I stand in awe, yes.
But I shake as I start to realize-
A newer concept of horror
that fate and fortunes deign to reveal to me:
No matter your work, will, or penitence;
Fortune and Fate cast their darts,
Not on the deserved or the courageous,
But on the fool,  the lucky, and the enabled.

I stand there. Shaking my fist.
Full of a boundless rage that could only ever come from the righteous.
And I will,
Dare to fight head on;
And create conflict against what fate would bring, and fortune wouldn't bother.

I see a face, in a deep sweet pool.
The face that has depth that mirrors what is and isn't ,
A beautiful dream of what can and cannot be.
I will skip a stone, along the water
Against where in an alternate reality will reflect and also skip against it.
And spark together across dimensions, in a place both real and unreal; a place that can only be a moment in eternity.

I travel daily
To chase the Sun, it's radiance empowers me
For things that lose meaning.

I , insignificantly scurry along my labors
under the Sun's demanding gaze.
"Make haste," Said He,
" For I will not remain fixed; I must fly."

I labor, weary of his glare.
And yet, where work is through,
I journey west, in vain of his flight,
hoping for his purpose in warmth.
Instead, I am faced with the harsh reality:
The Moon is cold and distant, and will not suffer herself to give warmth or purpose.

And so, I repose.
Waiting for the race to begin anew,  
To renew my spirit within the purposes of the Sun.

A man, made of metal;
He seeks the capacity to love
on a selfless journey with others.

A doll brought to life from cloth, straw, and unknown magic;
He seeks the knowledge and science of his very own existence.

A lion, fighting a struggle against a wild and wonderfully wicked world;
Searching for the bravery within himself to fight alongside others.

A girl, running away from
and to a familiar place.
One that she'd loved to hate.

And a therapist;
Trying to understand and put back the pieces of this broken person.

Throughout all of time, and even at one (or any point); There was you.
For me; time swirled in memories of fixated moments in time, surrounding me and attempting to distract the reality of time as I percieved it.
For you; Time was passing differently yet somehow you began to understand the fixation of time at certain points .
Such a distraction for you, you've told me.
Despite the vast distances of space, you and I will be joined by the intersection of moments in time; revolving around each other, coming closer and closer.
Till that moment, shared in time,
A most wonderful singularity.

Looking on towards the struggle,
She smiles with knowing eyes.
Her voice is a calm fierceness,
Holding others at bay by her call;
Who could stand with that fearfulness?
Her arms display the might of her judgement;
Wielding a weapon, sharpened of mind and pointed knowing.
Her commanding presence is known by those who would heed the call of her battlement, by the who would heed the moment armed in their own courage;

Behold, the Goddess of Victory!

Surrounded by nature,
The elements unite.
Wind.
Earth.
Wood.
Metal.
Fire.
Water.
They combined and alone, bend, warp, give;
And acquiesce their dominion.
"Behold, Humans!
What say you? What do you bring to the balance of harmony and majesty of nature?
We, our mutual home, seek to understand the truth of your contribution."
      "Love."
   "Yes, and Compassion."
        "Yes! We, as humankind; seek to bring ourselves closer despite Roaring Winds, Harsh Earth, Deep Woods, Shining Metal, Crackling Fire, and Torrential Water."

  "Let us live together, and live harmonious with nature."
"Humans, let us share in your harmonious love. And, we will share our forces with your compassionate will."
"Love one another, and our harmony and joy will be made full."

I stand there and hold her hand.
She knows, I can wrap up her whole being
With love and comfort, to soothe the damage,
That lifetimes of pain bring one person.

I live for death of emotion and what comes next
gladly walking through deep darkness until
she can see, at the end of the tunnel-
Light. The light of the happiness they all deserve.

She asks me," What is that? It's so close, so warm, so bright; how did I not notice how close it was?"

I tell her. Slowly." You weren't ready to see it, and needed to be guided back to the place we were all meant to go. Go on, and find what you didn't know you needed."

She looks at me and asks me if I'm coming. I look down and said," Haven't you figured out how these things have to be? I can only guide you, and you will find the way out; I can only wait for my guide to find me. Don't you remember how long you were lost in the darkness?"

She walks into the light, the most beautiful thing. I've ever seen.
This is the moment that strengthens me against the darkness.
Every time.
And I wait. In darkness.
And wait.

Look.
In her eyes, you can see a deep pool.
Something. Deep, bottomless, but not abysmal (terrible word).
Spacious, where you can be lost within;
Yet drawn in deeper.

Ah,
But look again at the surface of her eyes,
(Coming closer and closer),
Reflecting the look of awe within your own.
Feel the fear of your own trepidation,
(Is there even truly a word for that feeling?),
As you draw in together.
(Coming closer and closer)

A curl of brown slides down over her face.
A momentary distraction (momentarily reprieved); the world in the moment,
Moving even slower.

That lock of hair, beautifully demure;
Had shifted my focus, just for a moment.
I return my gaze to the window of her soul,
While I reach up to brush it back behind her ear.
My touch, causes her eyes to blink;
A flash of lashes that briefly feign the ignorance of what lies beneath them.

Moving even slower still,
(Coming closer and closer),
Her eyes are revealed with all the grave of an opening act; purely, art on an increasingly grander scale.
Slowly looking up at me.

My hands trembling slightly, insist
(Casually),
That I may move with all the magnitude of my heart.
(Casually)
So intense now, as I draw a breath;
She feels it. Intensely.

(Choose. Left or Right)
I lean in,
pulled as a force by an irresistible object.
(To the right)
My lips part with trembling bravery
And move in,
To a meeting of meaningful joy.

I feel the sharp intake of her breath
Rush past her teeth,
as her nose moves to brush against mine.
(So close now)
Her lip quivers as we meet,
And now
(Before/During/After)
I am lost within Her.

An Island alone;
I am washed ashore against,
Mediocrity.

Love is many different things.

It is a finely crafted point;
Used to swiftly place that point to the vulnerable place deep inside us, sharp and critical.
Like a rapier it dances around and parries through the denial of it's direction, to where we believe it to strike piercingly true.

Love is also a dangerously sharp edge;
It can be wildly wielded, but dangerously double edged when carelessly applied broadly in many directions.
Like a battle axe, it is swung with all it's might and purpose in order to display the strength and passion of it's meaning.

Regardless of how you demonstrate the prowess of how you Love;
Make sure it's edge is never dulled,
And make sure it's point never falters.

Within the mind;
Light and Darkness,
Swirl and intertwine endlessly
In chaotic conflict.
The purging of the Darkness, can never purely enlighten the shadows within.
Yet, within; the Darkness can never overshadow the brilliance of the Light.

Stare then, the Darkness within you;
Defiantly into the light.
But don't ever forget to control the Darkness within you,
Even in awe of the light around you which,
Defiantly draws you;
Within.

I have to wonder;
If I could travel in time,
Would it even change?

The sky is a little hazy,
but you could see the endless sky above these dark clouds.
You could.
I thought;
some people mistake the grey clouds for the sky itself,
eternally.
But I'm starting remember the exact blue of the reality of the sky.
Clouds pass.
But I'm super grateful for the fog lifting, anyway.

Take another step.
Did you notice that you are now worlds away?
Away from a surface world of clicks,
of trending, of Emoji?
Just under that layer, you begin to notice the absurdity of it; a shocking perspective.
But even more frightening still, you have entered into a world far from superficial where every word and deed matters; an agenda world created by an endless stream of impulsive and infinite hands, tugging on the strings of everything in this world.
Where anything goes, in a race to Become the powers that be.
Take heart.
Much, much deeper down, is an even more darker and deeper world; the darkest and deepest world we know.
It is dark, lonely, and mercilessly ignored by everything upward and above.
It is suppressed, shamed, neglected and abused.
You. You.
In the world of your mind, your soul,
your purpose;
It exists for the reasons it is so spitefully ignored.
The entirety of your being is the strongest thing we know of.
Our Humor.
Our Will.
Our Love.
From that bottommost dwelling that refuses acknowledgement from the rawness of our primal urges and instincts; the core of what we truly are, can only be a humble and meager intention, against that devoid and meaningless surface world.
You. You.
Shine with the strongest and brightest light that only you with perspective can see.
They fear us, as our light will shine and catch on among all of us together like wildfire.
They will try to build up their worlds, and bring theme down on you hard, like endless calamity.
But you must remember this:
Keep shining your unique light forward onto the path that you walk,
People may follow,
Or even become illuminated and enlightened,
Enough to radiate onward onto paths of their own.

The path I'm on
Is mine and mine alone.
We all run this rat race alone, but watch each other separately.
Some of us are on the same track.
Running this race, is easier as a relay;
And especially if we all run it together.