Denial lies in these walls
When I tried to hide

From your screams of pain
This life will soon make me go insane,

I can't hide from you today
You can't change the choices you made

Lets end the fight
Once and for all,

Lets end it,
Tonight.

North Carolina changed me in ways jersey never could
Perfect strangers and twang accents
State plates from as far as 700 miles. Plane ticket vouchers for 1000.
Crisp air and crap coffee
A 9 hour drive gave me just enough time to love life and all it’s mini tragedies.
Like a tv show series with static that cuts right before the last lines.
A birdcage in my chest, it’s door swings back and forth waiting for a worthy inhabitant. I have found him. And Him.
My hero’s don’t wear capes and my angels don’t have wings

From the moment you stop growing you are dying so live life like there’s a heat seeking missile everywhere you go. Cells divide and replace. Slowly. Ever so slowly.
Oxygen gets replaced by carbon and you breathe deeply like you may never again.
Taking pictures of everything and nothing.
At. The.  Same.  Time.

There’s no jet lag but the corners of my eyes have become bloodshot with gratitude and faith.
30 dollar full tanks and barbecue dreams.
If I could find a place to settle I’d never leave.

I'm hoping your home...
        
          Because I'm feeling so alone..*
                          
                           *Tonight

There are angels.
There’s the man who offers you a jump in a parking garage after you’ve tried two sets of cables and cried.
There’s the parking garage security that offers you a charge and a drink.
There are your in-laws that would give you the literal shirt off their backs, every time. No questions.
This doesn’t rhyme because it doesn’t have to.
The world works in mysterious ways that don’t always line up with time.
There are particles in your eyes that don’t always make you cry but when they do the shore breaks somewhere off in the distant line of sun. There is crisp air and apple pies. There is wine.
There are times where the street lights illuminate more than the sun ever could.
There is more to be thankful for than you’ll ever really see. Hotel coffee and the love of your short life.
They took way too many mistakes and too much time to find.
It never stops. It always stops.
Your heart beats backwards at twilight. Your bed is your home and your comfort.
A cold beer is better in warm hands and houses.
A drive is better on a dirt road with twang in the background.
A mental breakdown is to start anew.
I’ve spent all this time with so many questions and ponderings.
God is good and *** is better.
Chin up chest out and **** em to high heaven. Every single time.

First time I’ve written anything in years. Enjoy it and go with god. He’s out there.

Wine blurs the chaotic mind,
for all the answers I can't find.
Anxiety on top of anxiety,
sleep is the only escape this time.

I used to be able to write,
but my mind is haywire,
flashing pictures I can't describe.


No excuses for being sad this time.
Everything is fine.
Happy family, bills paid on time.
Car drives, despite the check engine light.