Scream,
Just let it all out,
All that anger you couldn't shake before,
Just scream, make that anger a memeory,
Scream, like it will never end,
Just scream, jump off the deep end,
Scream, nothing can stop you,
From expressing such anger,
Please people, give humanity a riveting call of anger,
Throw a riot, start a banter,
Make people see how delusional they can be,
That they're missing out on the depression that they created,
Scream, and let people know, that you're alive,
Alive and fighting,
For all things to be right,
Scream and let people know they have to fight,
Let them know they're not alone,
Just scream, scream out vengance
Let the anger float to the heavens, and let them know,
Things aren't too good down here,
That they're lucky to be there,
Just scream, scream it to the world,
That they need to change their ways, before its too late,
Just **scream

I spend so much time staring at blank canvases
hoping beauty will appear before me instantly
that I forget how the right brain works.
I forget how art doesn't come, it simply is;
you either have it or you don't.
These are talents you don't learn, can't learn.
You're born with the instinct to string words into sonnets
and mix paints into masterpieces, and most of the time,
no one else is capable of understanding just how you got them
to be what they are; it's your own personal daydream
that you can choose to get lost in, or lose in the crevices
in the back of your mind. That's why I write until
my hands go numb and my mind is in shambles.
I figure the more I do it, the better it will become.
The brain is more than an *****. It's a muscle that requires
constant manipulation to keep it in tip-top shape
and I don't ever want to fall into the background.
I want to spend my life tip tapping on keyboards and
scratching at paper with fine tipped pens as if my life
depended on it. To write of things unknown to the
not-so-artsy types. Because I've come to find that
a math or science major isn't usually capable of creating
crescendos with wordplay, or letting syllables shimmy
and shake off the tongue like they're doing the merengue.
It's a song and dance that takes more than simple muscle-memory:
it takes heart and soul and usually a little bit of pain along the way.
Starving artists aren't sad because they're hungry,
no, it's usually because they've experienced life in a way
that no one really wishes to. They've felt emotions rip through them
like tidal waves and that's how they came to write so **** beautifully,
or paint with such depth. Now a day's with depression levels
shooting up like rockets, outlets are hard to come by
but if you can source that pain into something beautiful,
you must be doing something right.
It's come to a point in my life where I believe half of my blood
is infused with the ink I've used to label my hurt
and ease my pain.
It's all about what gets you by; it's become a lifeline.
If it keeps me breathing for another
second, another minute, another hour, another day,
then I might as well let it grow like wild fire. Let it blossom into something beautiful.

I am not well,
I am not okay,
Right now i'm smiling,
But thats only for today,
My hearts beating reductantly
My visions shaded gray,
The feelings i once had
Known
Have now gone away
And I'm ready to begin,
Another round with a long time friend,
A sin,
It's hard not to give in,
I am not well,
I am not okay,
And if my wrists look perfect,
Thats only for today

This is mind numbing
just in the good way.
Not in the way that makes
me want
to carve truth
straight into my skin.
No.
My mind is numb in the
very best way.

Like walking on water,
It's an illusion you see,
They try to confuse you,
Because they don't want you to see,
All the bad choices they've made,

Thats right,
I'm talking about government,
And this massacre that has been created,
All in hope of a better tommorow,
But instead, we face hell, today,

So don't believe a thing they say,
They're all out to get you anyway,
And this may be cynical, or even pessimistic,
But darling, someone needed to speak the truth
Some day,
So why not today.

It's getting cold out now,
trees are bare,
love is strong,
and my fingers are numb from cold.

My wrist aches from grasping your hand so tightly.

It's simply a curse it seems,
I just can't seem to keep from reaching for you;
I hope you don't mind.
It's not something I can control.

You're just too sweet to let go of.

And if you want the truth,
I ache for you.
I feel your love in my bones,
and it lights up my soul.

hey,
yeah hey you,
your heart may be hurting,
but no need to feel blue,
don't believe he left you,
because he was never truly with you,
he had her,
you wernt his true focus,
only a side fling,
what does that mean to you,
he may have said things
you'll never forget,
but he was lying,
only trying to make you,
believe in nothing,
you may have loved him,
but baby,
it takes two to tango,
and your dance partner quit on you.

Summer staggered in like bruises
purple accents swelling under skies pigment,
sunlight dripping like red death
from hemophelic skin.
Midnight showers somersault,
into morning haze.
Lightning cracks in jagged edges,
leaving lines of wonder on tormented skin.

Autumn came and brought sorrow,
took away my fondest feelings,
and made me learn perseverance,
to be rewarded with a hand to hold,
someone to whisper sweet nothings to,
and hold me up when the marionettes have failed.

Winter brought bitter cold,
numb skin, and cracked lips,
yet somehow the butterflies still live,
in my stomach.

It’s scary as hell how last week you held me
right before I said goodbye,
and in my head I was screaming ‘I love you’
hoping so badly that you didn’t see it in my eyes.
Because I know it’s too soon for such weighty exclamations,
and the last thing I want to do is scare you away,
but you make my mind race and my heart ache
and the soles of my shoes always seem
to point in your direction
the way a plant grows toward the sun.
You are my most significant source of light.

Today you told me you were scared.
Because you like me so much,

All I could say was "i know that feeling"
because even though I've given up on impending forevers
I'm doomed to believe that forever would
best be spent with you.
You won't read these words for a long time
because it won't be the right time, for a long time
I'm just fast forwarding because
my heart doesn't know patience,
my heart knows bed sheets and now, now, now.
Rushed beginnings and painful endings.
You are neither. You are kind and respectful,
and won't pass boundaries, even though realistically
I never set them. You are a new kind of amazing
and it is exhilarating.

optimism is setting in,
because all the bright words you've said,  
are finally sinking in,
i see the world for what it is,
all the oppurtunities that can be taken,
if you don't let others, or even yourself,
bring you down,
so let me dream of a better day,
like a strong woman,
i refuse to back down,
so sing a song and live for today,
so many oppurtunities can come your way,
as long as no one, not even yourself,  
brings you down.