Johnnie Rae

Johnnie Rae Jun 2012

Therapy.

Don't you hate it when tear drops stain the pages,
Of all the things you've written,
Trying to forget all the rage,

Just letting the tears fall when theres nothing left to loose,
When all you can think about is your mothers obsession with *****,
Or maybe anyother problem you have been forced to face,

Why not wake up to another hell of a day,
When you never actually got to sleep anyway,
Why not cry yourself to sleep at night,
When you'll wake up to this torture every ******* day,

Theres just no point in living this life,
Because its only filled with sorrow, and strife,
So I confide all my problems, in this blade,
The pain lets me live on for just another day, before I repeat and bleed again,

Its not a process I'm proud of,
But I'm facing the fact that I have a problem, and I need help..
Now do you see? why I need therapy.

Hmm with writing like this, i must feel greaaat, huh?

Johnnie Rae Jun 2012

If you knew then, what I know now..

If you would've known then,
What I know now,
You wouldn't wonder why I cry so much,

If you knew then,
What I know now,
You wouldn't have wondered why I wanted to die, just so ******* much,

Because the world is heavier than it looks,
And I can't carry this weight forever,
One day, i'm going to break down again, because you know what they say,
Never say never,

So please remember, go easy on me when im down,
This is more than just a simple sadness,
It hurts to the core,

So now that you know,
You don't have to wonder anymore,
Because if you knew then, what I know now,
You'd be depressed for sure.

Someone told me I know too much about life for my age, and you know what, if you knew half the **** I do, you'd be depressed too.

Johnnie Rae Jun 2012

Am I A Danger To Myself?..in many ways, yes.

Well, looks like the tears all dried up,
My life has never been more ****** up,
I resort to tears when theres no blood to shed,
And to pain when there are no tears left,
Resorting to words is my only option that i've got left,
Those comforting words you said,
They're the only thing that I can let run through my head,
At a time like this,
When all the emotions are clouding reality,
When I start to wonder why my good friend death hasn't taken me,
I start to want to just cuddle up and die, with no reason left to live,
I stutter and choke on my words, when I say I'm fine,
It's getting really hard to lie, when all I want to do is cry, because all these idiots left me dead inside,
Now they're trying to help me, but its not working, all this attention I don't want,
Leaving me feeling guilty for the marks I made, when all I was doing was trying to save myself,
From the overthinking beast I call me,
Yes I know I had a strange way of doing this, taking to the blade,
But come on, it was just a way of coaping of my strange reality.

Not feeling too good...

Johnnie Rae Jun 2012

Me & My Everseeing Eyes.

Would it make you feel better to watch me as I bleed,
Take it all in and watch as I fall to the ground,
My torn and broken remains, never to be found,
And you'd enjoy every minute, watching me crumble and fall,

You watch with no effort as to who you are, like nothing to the world,
And I'm sorry if you find it uncomfotring to read this when you're down,
I'm sorry I made that smile, turn upside down,

You know,
That smile,
That one you tried so hard to fake,
To not let everyone see how badly you're breaking,
That smile,
The one that covers all the tears that ever fell,
In moments of sorrow, or strife,
That smile,
That kept everyone quiet as to your condition,

Well no not anymore,
Now everyone is in full out uproar,
All because of the one little thing you said,
And it tore me down, it really did, when you said the words you said,
They really were awakening,
Opened my eyes to what i usually couldnt see,
Awakened me to the situation in midplay, the one right infront of my everseeing eyes,
These eyes, they see no lies,
Look past everything that ever seemed to not be right,

So go on dear, look at me and tell me theres nothing to fear,
That I will be happy here,
Tell me nothing can ever do me wrong,
Go on and lie to me again,
Like you think I can't see you're lying.

And you lie again.

Johnnie Rae Jun 2012

Not one of my better days.

Sun shines through the trees, even on my darkest days
You know, those days were nothing seems right,
Those days where you know you're going to cry yourself to sleep that night,
Few moments past when you don't feel like you're nothing to the world.

Even on these dark, thought filled days,
The sun still shines, interferring with my trace of thought,
There is a slight chance, this poem doesnt rhyme,
because I can't exactly think with the sun in my eyes,
And a fly buzzing around in my face,

So if the flow of this is ****** up,
And there are more grammatical errors than normal,
Just ignore, because today, just isn't one of my better days.

im not sure if grammatical is a word, but like i said, not a nice day for me,
The sun may be shining, but nothing about today was bright.

Johnnie Rae Jun 2012

Three o'clock in the morning.

Its three o'clock in the morning,
And all of the sudden, emotions escape without warning,
Now I sit, hear me cry,
Just sitting here, wondering why the **** I got the hand I was dealt,
And I swear I have never felt,
So ******* alone.
And its killing me, because its three o'clock in the morning,
And all these emotions, are just driving me ******* crazy.

The flow of this is sorta,.. ****** up. but whatever.

Johnnie Rae Jun 2012

Bye bye *****.

Pssh, *****, your secrets out,
Nothing left to do but sit and pout,
All you make me wanna do is ******* shout,

Haha *****, you're no longer safe,
So here I sit, watching you pace, wondering what you'll do with your day,
When you're not trying to ruin peoples lives, what will you do with your time?

Thats what I've been wondering about, but that okay, because your secrets out,
And now you'll be shunned by everyone, just like you tried to force on me,
But we knew this would work out for me,
***** this is reality, you can't just go about doing as you please, trying to make a mess out of me,

To be honest, you almost had me, you almost killed me completely,
But I had people on my side, someone found out you're a lying *****,
And now I can be happy with the real friends I have, unlike you, you little ****,
So bye bye *****, have fun making up for all the **** you've done.

Written about a ***** who think she can liee...and not get caught...***** please..ive got my ways