Hesitating, contemplating
Gyrating, second guessing
You
Do
This
To
Me

I'm only 21
And I'm already due
To go
In another 50
Or so

We're not designed to last long
So it's very easy to become overwhelmed
If you look at the timeline
For everything
Living, dead, or inanimate
The length of existence they hold
Is so pitifully short
It makes you sick

It's like
A joke or something
We spend out lives
Preoccupied
Stressed
And
Filled with doubt
And by the time out end is near
We finally want to realize
That the life we've lived
Was not a life at all
More like
A compilation
Of horrible jokes
Fun that lasted mere seconds to minutes
Emotions that mostly
Meant nothing
When it comes to the final
Scheme

I'm not inherently pessimistic
In fact
I've been much more optimistic
Lately than ever
But still
These things surface
When I have a few milliseconds
To philosophize
With myself

Back in the day
When the rain hit the roof
Pitter-patter didn't seem like much
But along with it came the truth
That nowadays things ain't so right
Nowadays, everything is a might

When you used to tell me
That I was the only one
Your sole source of confidence
All we had was lighthearted fun
But now, now it seems like a joke
A sick and twisted turn of fate
For the worst or the best I don't even know
But all I have now us this disgustingly clean slate
Hanging on a hook like writhing, live bait

God damns you in the sweetest way
With those six inch heels
You're on so much fire
The smoke drifts through the steering wheel
Lit up like the strip
Where we go on nightly field trips
You know what's good for you but you don't care
You're a ******* wild one and I know it
You know how to get things done
And you keep the place jumped up and lit up
With those green, green eyes you light it up

You clearly got no worries
Nothing really gets to you
It's the way you grew up
If you had let it get to you
You would never have made it through

So I condone such mischief
Keep doing you like you do it
I ain't got no complaints
Just make sure you stand before you sit
Taking things too fast is never a good thing
All you know is fast life
Never back down from no fight now
You're just the realest
They're just the weakest
It's the way it goes
Nobody really knows
Where you came from
No, they never even ask
Where you come from

Playing with vengeful knives
Clone me another of the Stepford wives
Here is where you're at
Never turn your head back
You like sixes and sevens but you've never heard of fives

Come back and look forward in anger
Drive yourself sane, graceful like Jesus in a manger
Cover your footprints in the snow
Deny the sunlight because you never know
The next one could be the game changer

One-two, two-three-one
Stop acting like you're never having fun
Your charade is blown wide open
Like the suicide bomber with the missing pin
Wipe yourself up and clean every last ****** crumb

We are so incompatible
You are so incompetent
Don't hear a thing you've been saying
Nothing on this green Earth is permanent
So you're words are falling on deaf ears
And my mouth, well my mouth is dumb
All these years and my ever present fears
Dull my senses of everything that's fun

Never, never
No, it could never be
Ever, ever
Why is it you can't see?
Are you that blind?
Or you just a wishful thinker?

Over these times
And under these flames
Words that rhyme
And all that impending fame
Don't ever get me up
And never bring me down
When I spill my cup
I don't ever usually frown
I just ask for another

To write about love
How I was right
About nothing of
The likes of dynamic
And the ways
Of the supersonic
Hearts and flowers
Mean nothing
When put against hot showers

Stop, go, keep on moving
I've never understood slow
How people could be so passive
Even though I am one of then
Afraid of that fateful leap
Too scared to jump
Too scared to stay still
But living inside of fear
Is hilarious when you can see the box
From miles and miles
Away

Mounting this bedraggled saddle
Has never seemed so appealing
But it seems that my brain is crackling
And cracking under this feeling, I'm reeling
Can't help but think of you when my eyes are closed
But you don't know, no, you can't know yet
I don't mean to be the one who dares to impose
Upon you and your life, because I can't even bet
No, I never was a gambling man
Never was a fan of the one night stand

I'm not saying that we could be together forever
Until the sun goes down and comes up over the river
I'm just saying that I think you're pretty cool
Despite the fact that I've dropped out of school
And now I'm just wading, waiting in my crimson pool

Too many issues to discuss and so little time
The clock ticks and your eyes dart
Your smile never looks forced
When it's over and we're apart
My brain just hits replay
And I'm immersed in my only little film
One where I don't have to ask you to stay
One were I always win
Please, won't you be my sweet damsel in distress?
Dressed in white with nowhere to go?
You've got a man, but right now I could care less
How hard is it just to let go?

I know I might come across as a bit selfish
But at this moment, it just seems right
Like the last puzzle piece that you can't find
And losing makes a winner at his next fight
So just hold yourself up straight
Right now I just can't wait
Right now I just can't wait

These things that make you say
Lets go
The same things that make you go
Whoa, whoa
Sinful little pretty girl
Your skin is just Heaven
Think I can take you for a whirl
As long as you promise to keep beggin'

In the night, as the rain hits the roof
You're waiting for me in shadows
All the lights turned down too low
Never knew this is where we would go
There's not an ounce of apology
In your soft, seductive, *** tone
You used to feel ashamed about this
But not anymore because we're alone

Nothing can stop the flow of blood now
Dripping from limbs and into the floor
You're pretty crazy, I won't lie
But when were through it I'm always wanting more
It's all because you are an animal
A being outside of what most people know
When I'm with you I refuse to let go
You're dark power lies within your sheets

"I hate flowers," she said, her mouth curling toward the ground.
What kind of a woman hates flowers?
"I love nature. I'm in love with nature. But the thought of a flower as a token of affection makes me sad."
"Oh," slipped out of my mouth, barely audible. "Well what would make you happy then?"
After a moments pause with her eyes on my shoes, she looked up and directly into my pupils she said: "A minute."
After another pause, she opened her mouth again; "Just a minute."
And so I squatted down right there in the hill, the carpet of never ending grass beneath us swaying lazily in rhythm with the invisible wind. I sat. She bent down and followed my lead.
And I gave her a minute. Many minutes that managed to blend into each other without my notice and before I knew it, it was dusk. The Sun peered out over the vast horizon, letting us both know that the time we had spent sitting silently had lapsed and appeared to us as no time time at all. It was just the grass, the sky, the wind, the Sun and us.

Those truly "happy" people?
Are
Actually
Sicker
Than
Depression
Itself

Throw out the abstract
What's the use in that act?
Go to the lake, sit on rocks
Saw you at the cinema, what a shock
Never, ever come around again
Much rather have my own friends

Sit on, sit on these black rocks with me
Tripping, stumbling over my own feet - but
When we're together we got that twenty-twenty
20/20 - you're so funny when you try to talk the walk

Crafting something out of thin mist
At the start never can tell what it is
So don't ask, don't you say a word now
Break my concentration, throw it up in the air now
Just follow my feet, get on my boat with me
We'll float the still waters below white clouds

Your pain is something you wear
Strapped
Pinned
Stapled
Nailed
To your chest

You can't hide it
There's no use
Why would you try to tuck away something so
Gratuitous
Toxic
******
And
Beautiful?

It's too big to hide under your bed
Too shiny to hide in your dark corners
Too smart for you to try to convince it that it doesn't existence

So you're stuck with it
And since you're stuck with it
You wear it
Wear it like the Badge of Courage it is
Like the Medal of Honor you earned
Like the Nobel Peace Prize you worked so hard Just to say
That you finally made it

Love is intoxicating
In that
In it
One sees no
Negative

I wasn't her best friend
But I knew her pretty well
She was at the roller rink
But when she left, I couldn't tell
The music in the rink was way too loud
She was always with the wrong crowd

Yesterday her Daddy talked to me
He said she lived in his heart
And that without her, her Momma couldn't live
He said they were taking it really hard
And that today they were to shoot their Christmas card
And he broke down in tears

When we were younger we used to kiss
Beneath the stars in the cemetery
We were both the morbid kind
And at the time, the future was secondary
I never could've foreseen something like this
But like I said, she was fast and she liked the guys
The guys who carried guns

I never knew their names because they were from different towns
But I could pick their faces from a mile away
Just show me a lineup, Judy show me the suspects
Do you mind if I ask you why you're looking at me that way?
I told you everything I know
And flashing that shiny gun isn't doing anything
Just let me know, let me know, let me know when I can go
I know my rights

Everybody's like oh hey it's John
When you gonna turn your light on?
Do you have a cloud to lay on?
Where's that feather pillow you punch on?
Do you know what path you've turned on?
Oh get over it come on, come on

When the sky turns purple turns red
Nothin seems right up in my head
Fly away, leave, go, but I've already fled
What was it that day you said?
About those balloons that were made of lead?
I can't think no more in my bed

Oh well, oh well, can't do nothing bout it
Wanna climb to the roof and shout it
This door has closed ain't no doubt about it
What a pretty girl if I've ever seen it
The way she talks, my inside she burns it
Owner of my heart, never thought I'd say it

Well we used to be pretty great
So pretty, pretty, great and everything was right
The light in your hair
When you'd dance and dance
Nothing compared
To that romantic phase
I wouldve given anything and everything
To you but now I just write and sing
About you

Things were nice
Oh the air was so light
Everyone said we were right
We only had one big fight
But that was the fight
The fight on that humid night
That humid night

Then you wanted to talk about all these things
But I've never wanted silence more in my life
On our hallowed hearts is etched a pair of broken wings
Tattooed in honor of things gone down the pipe
But I still think and I still talk and I still walk
Because I realized what I thought I never would
That no beautiful thing is just a walk in the park
No declaration of love is only etched in wood
It's written in you
And it's written by you
Written for that one person

Sitting next to her on the hood of my car, the Sun having said goodnight hours ago. Now, we're drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon, our silhouettes bathed in the pale moonlight. She looks to me with those ocean tide eyes. Nuzzles her head on my neck. I feel my blood pumping harder, almost making my jugular vibrate at the mere notion of her touch. She asks for another beer, so I crack it open and hand it to her. She takes it from me with those hands, those hands I saw in my dreams last night. So tiny, so welcoming, so womanly, so lovely. I look down at her and smile as she opens her mouth to speak. I'm suddenly enraptured by her lips. Moving so effortlessly as she gently spills her words in a steady stream. It takes me a moment to register the meaning of her soft annunciations. My mouth curls into a smile, the same one I'd have plastered on my face when my father would bring me home a new baseball. What she asks me sends my mind into outer space. Her words simultaneously paralyze me and send me spinning into a wild and beautiful wilderness filled with all the beautiful shades of summer.

She asks me about forever.

Iridescent green liquid
Dripping from a factory sealed cannister
Not for pregnant women or the faint of heart
Not for the ones who grip the stair bannister
Only for the fit and the strong
To help achieve maximum efficiency
Only for those whose legs are long
Enough to reach the stars from the ground they can only see

Caution
Warning
Attention
The flies are swarming
Your flesh is rotting
But your body keeps running

Touch it to your lips
And it'll grant you your best
Implanted from the laboratory
Take it all down and put yourself to the test
Nothing can stop you now
You're not running on empty anymore
Your stomach turns sour
But you're no longer a bore

Now you've got the means
Now you've got the scene
Now you've got the capacity
Now you can succeed

But only because of test tubes
And only because of beakers
Only because of brakers
Only because of white coats
Only because of med school
Only because of playing the part of the fool

They're children
They're just children!
He yelled at the camera
And they're forced into this
Living Hell with no way out!

He tried his best to raise
Whatever awareness could be aroused
It was wrong
These children
They were writhing
In their own
**** and ****
Curled up in little *****
Without an inch of clothing on them

When he came in
The orderlies avoided him
And his camera
They couldn't be held responsible
For the atrocities that were taking place
In the buildings where they secured the little income they had

The nurses shot ***** looks
There were few of them
Only about one was assigned to a room
Which housed around fifty children apiece
When he asked them
Can you spare a moment?
For the camera and the lives of these poor kids?*
They're eyebrows pointed down in a sharp line
And they quickly rushed away

He couldn't believe it
Children
Not older than ten years
Running about
Bare naked
Covered in the foulest of substances
Emanating smells you couldn't imagine
Yelling incoherently
And
Just as the orderlies and nurses did
Running in the opposite direction of the camera
And the reporter
That would expose the place they called "home"
For the snake pit it was

I trudged along the lake
With your eyes on my mind
And my feeble attempt
To make sense of the signs
That you so generously held up
When my body shut down
And in your hand was that cup
Of foamy poison
Known to make you make a fool of yourself

I burst into the bathroom
Splashed the water on my face
I never thought you'd think
You'd find solace in this place
But you, grinning and laughing
Didn't think I'd take it this way

You're just a poor and lost soul
Trying to find your way in the sand
But sifting through your fingers
And making a mess of your hands
Is black sludge
The kind you find when you can't
When you think you've lost it all
Then through the haze comes the band
Of outsiders
Who know your troubles all too well
All they can do is hold you close as your heart swells

So next time you find someone who thinks they know you
I know you'll think twice, maybe even thrice
Before you let them through your rusty gates
Put them through your elusive games and pay the price
Make them find you before they **** you
With their beautiful gaze and heartwarming grace
You know better too
But all my hopes of your newfound knowledge
Have all dripped down the drain
Past the bushy hedge
And into the permanent part
Of my head

I've suffered long enough
Normally I wouldn't mind
Usually I couldn't give a ****
The more pain the better
But now it's getting ridiculous
A lifetime of nothingness and now this
It's like a sick joke
Played by the dark jester
On the kind folk
Of the humble village
Who never did anything wrong
But everything's pillaged
And now I'm standing here
Staring at the ceiling
Can't see or hear
Just waiting for my calling

Only been around for nineteen short years
But I've witnessed too many
Friends lives cut short by ****** garden shears
Little boys and girls
Who's legs have been severed at the knee
Been taken for a whirl
Around the block without eyes to see

The guilt I feel isn't natural
I just walk the Earth
I see dead people I once knew
Taken for the lone ride in the ******* hearse
Something isn't right
When the wrong path is taken for granted
Didn't know the meaning of the fight
Or the truth behind the disbanded

Beautifully departed
Like the angels with the glowing wings
The one's who fell to the dirt
Coughing and spitting up horrible things
No one seems to care
When you're on the inside looking out
It's just the one's I can't bear
Because I've always been the outsider looking in

What I'm trying to explain
Is that the words I'm speaking
Have fought pain and been stained
By the happenstances of this big blue mystery
Why is it that the kids who go usually know?
Drowned and pummeled with the incendiary
Devices that cause your mind to go up in flames
Up in flames, up in smoke and no one wants to take the blame

Lightyears in seconds
That's how it goes
Universal life lessons
What do you know?
Lift-offs and landings
You are here, and hear
Crisis' come crashing
Not far nor near

On the distant planet where we met
My eyes seeped into your heart
The volcanoes and earthquakes that resulted
In building me up to break me apart
The words that were translated
Turned out to be nothing more
Than silly misunderstandings of Earth-speak
That coagulated once they were washed ashore

The sea turns from that icy blue to neon green
When the trees sway in the wind
As we walk these *****, unforgiving vacant streets
Hand in hand, we weather the weather
Whether it be rain, snow, hail or sunshine
The few people left never seem to know
The way our souls are eternally entwined
So take this statement as a final enchantment
Stitch it to whatever is left of your pieces
I need you to know that I'll never be gone
Even when death comes, we are forever unceasing

Now
I don't normally do this
And
I wouldn't normally say this
So I'm writing this
The idea hasn't elevated to speech
In my head
It is there
But I'm not sure it'll ever reach my lips
But
I've loved you so long
And
Again I don't normally do this
In fact
I never do this
But
I pray and I ask and I yearn
For the day
When everything is natural
And
We are united under the Sun
Or the Moon
Preferably the Moon
Because the Sun is nice
But the Moon is beautiful
And
If we were to be something
That is deserving of unification
Under such a wonderous thing
The gentle light bouncing off your unreal grace
Your aura radiating through your space
And invading my body like disease
I would probably fall to my knees
And die right at your feet
Because
I'm a sucker
And
I'm a fool
And
I know nothing else
But to buckle at your words
Your beauty
Your face
Your energy
Your grace
Our chemistry
This place
This closed and open gate
This disgustingly fulfilling state of mind

ive dodged bullets bigger than my head
fired by guns in the hands of the lost & lonely
by all rights i should surely be splattered, dead
the gray matter lodging in my skull is my one & only
my neuro-circuits are a circus blaring classic jazz
emanating from my ears and causing a regular razzmatazz

my heart, i know it beats only for a limited time
like an infomercial, superficial in the way it teases me
but my head, it knows the differences between reason & rhyme
money equals madness and the line between land & sea
at the same time, i feel it disintegrating as it sits worriless
and I ask myself, "could you really care less?"

but when the day comes when my heart & head agree
i know it will be near the end and i'm okay with that
no longer will i scurry like a hungry squirrel, endlessly
i will not walk around with the curiosity of a newborn cat
looking for my head, examining this hypothetical ****** mystery
for it won't be dead like my heart will claim it to be

To die
Over and over again
In my head
In these moments
When things don't seem so right
No need to put up no fight

Let it wash upon your shores
The feeling comes over
And I know it's happening again
This struggle for the sun
Embrace the moon
For I know it'll all be over soon

It's a long, long trail
Carrying things I have for so many years
It's time to lose some weight
Take it all off and drop it on the sight
Change and transformation is never quick
But it's the only way I keep from getting sick

So this time I know how to work
I'm aware of the consequences
This is the part where I lose my head
Bury it beneath the loose dirt
Let it marinate for a while and
Twist the one-eighty, a chameleon again

Trekking on
Coarse terrain
Muddy boots
Beaten spirits

Whispered words
Exchanged disease
Just some
Reckless abandon
To go
Please


Through wind
And water
Deserts, tundra
Things die
And come
Back to
Life


Time lapse
Heart beats
Feet leap
And
You keep
Me honest

What's more
Than talk
Than walk
Than tears
Than blood
Than life
Than death
Is you
Is us
We are
Spanning
Being
Transcending

Inside, I lay
Safe
From various perils
Frozen breezes, choking wheezes
Limb stiffening arctic temperatures
And
I can't forget
How can I forget to mention
The disease

Life-stealing, soul-*******, heart-stopping
A parasitic plague of putridity
It's been ages since
It first grabbed
At our necks
Now, it seems
Most of them
Have fallen
Down
Down
Only to
Lift ourselves
Standing limp
Heads bobbing
Drooling
Bleeding
Black
Groaning
To the
Sky

The kicker
Is that
As much
And as
Loud
As they
Groan and gargle
No one
Seems
To
Do
Anything

I believe
In you
And me
Separately
We light up rooms
But when we
Come crashing
Together
People swear
That something's there
The Sun ain't got nothing
On us
But truthfully
Honestly
I think it was an honest mistake
As time ticks us by
And tucks us in
I'm starting to lose sight
I just don't see
What they see

Previously
The words I'm saying
Would seem so sinful
So foreign
So backwards
But they make sense now
I'm just not the same
And neither are you
Things grow apart
And people see differently
So I guess this is my resignation
This is my attempt
At an honorable discharge
I just don't see
I just don't see anymore
I just don't see what they see

The sky opens up and all I see is you
From dusk til dawn, baby
My feelings are always true
I feel it in my gut
My stomach growls for a bigger piece
Was stuck in a rut for so long
But you give me hope to keep on
Keep on moving
My feet keep going
One after the other
You're always on my brain
Some might say I'm insane
But if they did
Then they never met you
So intoxicating
Girl, you're the only one as far I'm concerned
So scintillating
I'm forced to squint
Like the burning sun
Can't stare at you directly
For fear of blindness
With that angelic white light
Your aura, your way
Makes me wanna fight
Anyone who might try to squeeze their way between us
Forget them
They may cause a fuss
But they can never affect us

Tell me you're seeing the changes
Watching as the Sun goes  down and the moon rises
Do you think you can handle it?
Can you see my hands waving as time flies?
As it all goes by I'm beginning to see clearly
Like the haze has been dusted and the things I've been fearing
Disappear before my eyes

You don't seem to understand
The line between love and hate
Side stepping the obstacles laid before us
But cowardice is something I've never been able to tolerate
So I'm asking you now
Are you ready for the storm?
Are you prepared to confront the evil turned blessings as they form?

Only been around for nineteen short years
But I've witnessed too many
Friends lives cut short by ****** garden shears
Little boys and girls
Who's legs have been severed at the knee
Been taken for a whirl
Around the block without eyes to see

The guilt I feel isn't natural
I just walk the Earth
I see dead people I once knew
Taken for the lone ride in the ******* hearse
Something isn't right
When the wrong path is taken for granted
Didn't know the meaning of the fight
Or the truth behind the disbanded

Beautifully departed
Like the angels with the glowing wings
The one's who fell to the dirt
Coughing and spitting up horrible things
No one seems to care
When you're on the inside looking out
It's just the one's I can't bear
Because I've always been the outsider looking in

What I'm trying to explain
Is that the words I'm speaking
Have fought pain and been stained
By the happenstances of this big blue mystery
Why is it that the kids who go usually know?
Drowned and pummeled with the incendiary
Devices that cause your mind to go up in flames
Up in flames, up in smoke and no one wants to take the blame

It's just me and
It's me and you
Against them
Against the whole **** thing

Me and you
Me and you
Me and you against them
Me and you

Us together
We band
We bond
We've come

Too far
Too far to let it go
Too far
Too far to give up the ghost
Too far

We laugh
And we cry
In the face
Of the sky
We laugh
In the face
Of the lies
And we cry

Oh the things
That were said
How we stood
On our heads
And fell flat
On our faces
Like a bat
In the night
Took off flat
Found ourselves in a fight

Punch for punch
Blood for blood
Spit for spit
Slipping into the mud
Now we're filthy
Oh so filthy
What to do with these clothes?
Oh what to do
What to do

its a
post apocalyptic,
polyurethane
pullover
party.

we've got our
sighs of relief,
stop signs,
superficial sorrows.

so please let us
rest our heads,
righteously
railing against
roaring wrongdoings.

its our
right as
rolling ghosts
ruining
really rare
riots.

The city speaks to me each night
The freaks walk among the mystery
Engaged in this unusual plight
Littered with danger, like so many cigarette butts

Their faces flash in my mind
Makes my throat dry and moan in agony
Amongst the overexposed blacks and whites
What is it that you're meant to see?

Meeting people with loud voices
And faces that echo tragedies
So long ago when cobblestone was tread on by the horses
I think they thought the same things

When nothing seems right
Staring into the eyes of the devil
Falling from unfathomable heights
Now everything seems like drivel

Never knew how to lift it.
Only knew that I felt it.
Black skies hung constantly,
clouds formed viciously over me.

Never knew how to walk right.
Only knew I didn't talk right.
Black moods ever present
and false thoughts never relented.

It's different now, though.
I feel a certain energy.
In me, I know I can go
anywhere, despite the lethargy.
Anything, despite the misery.
And all I did was
let go.

it's hard to explaint the way it feels
it's like that feeling she just loves to steal
nothing's wrong on the highway, behind the wheel
our shadows grow taller and eventually disappear
so hold my hand and don't let your heart succumb to fear
just take off your shoes and jump in the water so clear

drops coming from the sky split and splash
everything going fast is bound to crash
lightning and thunder at night while i'm in my bed
like that time you got dressed and crashed through my head

When all the words
Have been said
When all the things
Have been done
When all of our fears
Have been extinguished
When everyone we though we knew
Are just blips on life's radar
When all of our rights
Have been given to us
When all of our wrongs
Have been reversed
When all of our Karma
Is out to help us
When all of our hate
Has been relinquished
When all of our love
Has been reciprocated

I'll meet you
At the end
Of the world

I always wanted
to be
clever
I always wanted
to be
like no one
I always wanted
to be
confident
I always wanted to be
the one

Snake my way out
Of an unmanageable situation
Or two
Make my friends
Want to be me
Engross lovers too
To the point that they couldn't bear
Not a second
With another
Softly whispering
One

Con
Cheat
Steal
Get away with it all
Live
Life on the edge
No need
For anyone
Just me
Myself
And the world
My oyster
I'd just stick out my palm
And in would fall
Infinity

She was a peculiar
One
With a pep in
Her step
That no one
Had seen
Before

In a time when photos
Cost thirty-five cents
Her daddy would send her
To pose on rickety steps

With her hair done up
Like someone from the past
With her face punched up
In a way that would last

In the minds of her family
Echoing with a certain grace
Though they called her crazy
She always lit up the place

Not in the normal
Womanly way
But in an anti-formal
Odd sort of play

There once was a boy
Made of 1s and 0s
A product of the age
Of information

Built from wires and numbers and clicks
From brain signals to solid brick
Accumulated flesh from the minds of the strangers
Parents to a perfect specimen
Programmed to recognize "Mommy" and "Daddy"
"Poppy" and "Uncle"

Operating on no sleep
Blood drips from the slits on my arms
Cover it up, no one'll peep
What I did to myself, I'll roll by like a ball of yarn

Surgically removing this pus-filled pessimism
Trying to swallow a straight dose of optimism
Wash it down with something other than my usual
Baby bottle of alcohol
Give me purity
Give me blue aqua
Though the majority
Of what I got is luke warm

Burn my throat with the water of life
I guess it's back to go, again
Oblivious as Barney Fife
I know I'm bound to land
Myself in a padded room
As long as my heart's beating
Through this black forest, I loom

I can see where you're coming from
By the swing of your hips
But you can never see what I'm saying
Sometimes it seems like my lips
Are invisible

Look what you've done
Can't you see what I've made?
I've turned this old sweater inside-out
Settled on this bed that I've made
It fits just right in times like these

With the winter wind gushing
And snowflakes fluttering
The air feels a little warmer
When your heart and my stuttering
Are sent colliding

Money is a wonderful thing. I'll never deny that. Having the means to do the things you love is a great feeling. Not having the means is a pretty ****** one. However, having excessive, ridiculous, gross amounts of money, to the point where you don’t know what to do with it, is a problem. No one should have that kind of money. My dream is to live in an apartment with just a place to sleep, a place to go to the bathroom and a place to make food. Anything else, honestly, seems like a waste to me at this point. it takes away from what life truly is. it strips you of the feeling of being truly alive and prevents you from being at peace with yourself. Believe me, “success" is something everyone strives for, bleeds for and dreams of.

But success is a relative concept. In my opinion, realizing this and living your life knowing this is the greatest success a person can ask for.

Notice the change in tone
Pace may be out of step
Heart rate increased
Eyes may blink rapidly
Short, quick breaths
Take note

The footprints in the snow
Cut so perfectly into the fine, crunchy white
Is that blood?
It definitely looks like it
Bend over
Take a closer look

Magnifying glass
Offering a bigger picture
It is blood
My mouth drops slightly
Exhalation creates clouds
In this kind of weather

In the heat of the night you look so predatory.
Before you, life had gotten so boring.
But inside my head is a clear warning.
You've got to start on the ground if you wanna start soaring.
I know I've said it before and it's the same old story.
Being clearly unsure is clearly the sure thing.
And now my throat is too sore to even try to sing.
When you come back to me, I think of the gift that you'll bring.
Your undying love never fails to tug on my heart-string.
See, I've still got to learn the meaning of a fling.
Among a tall list of you related things.

Again and again, I knock
Just begging for you to let me inside
It's so cold out here but I know you've made mistakes before
Things you've done and said and now people have labeled you a *****
You're outside the box now but if you'd just give me a chance, maybe life wouldn't be such a bore

You've probably done a lot worse
Men have beat you, cursed you, ****** you and left you
One think I can promise; I'll do none of those
I might even turn out to be the best thing you've ever chosen
I'll even let you in on a little secret and I'm the only one who knows

In the end, I guess I'm not one-hundred percent
But who is?
I'd like to meet them and maybe shake their hand
Look them in the eye and ask if their life is dull or bland
Ask them to take an honest step back and have a good look at this dishonest land

These days the future is hazy
The job I work means nothing
It's 6 AM and I'm feeling crazy
I don't care about ******* anything
My life is a smudged question mark
Written on an empty folder
I just want to go down to the park
After all, I'm only getting older
I'm getting too old

Now I'm only 21 but listen here
I might not have seen it all
But I've seen enough for me to say
Answer your phone when you get the call
It won't ring twice but it always rings true
I'm just trying to get it through to you

Skipping rocks in still waters
Smoking *** up on the roof
I don't know why I even bother
But I know what I'm saying is the truth
Now it's time to go back again
And again the same feeling haunts me
I'm telling you as your honest friend
You need to adjust your vision before you see

And then run away with me