I just want
What you do
But what that is
I never know
So come with me
Down to the beach
Your eyes can't see
What you can reach

Lets just go now
Now let's take off
Lets just let go how
How we used to scoff
But now we know
Yeah now I know

i was getting bored of the love.
smothered in warmth, dying inside.
on the highest cliff, all i need is a shove.
i was getting bored of the love.

you started saying stupid things again.
sometimes i wanted to sew my ears shut.
it was then that i realized i couldn't just lend
my heart to anyone that wanted it.

feeling all the marks you left on me
trying to find a way around it
you go about business so happily
i don't know where you found it
i've been grabbing at the roots of trees
doing anything i can to stay grounded

Everybody says they've got the answer
Everybody says they've got the secret
Just keep breathing
Just keep being
Nothing, no, nothing can touch you
If you just keep breathing

Your thoughts are only temporary
Temporary and fleeting to and from
Your jumbled brain filled with garbage
Like the town dump just filled with ****
The secret, though, the secret
Is just to ignore it, ignore it
Because none of this is real

Life is an illusion machine
Working hard to keep you interested
And so many little people fall for it
They get ****** in
They shoot their guns
They **** their kin
They **** themselves

But, but, but, but
No one seems to get it
They just don't realize it
They should read a book
And put down their poisons
Put down their swords
Put down their shields
Because all of it means nothing
In the end
It means nothing
It means nothing
We are the light
We are the light
We are the light
We are not the dark
Not the dark
Even though some seem to fall for it
They hit the floor and succumb to it
But we're not the blackness
We're not the blank stare
Not the death of it

Street lights
On a Saturday night
Oh
The moonlit sights.

girls who have lost someone
seem to flock to me like seagulls
the deaths in their lives grow within them
and then they attach themselves to me
i was born a healer and it will never go away
a gift and a curse but i'm leaning toward the latter
these days i breathe easy but my lungs still ache
from all the cigarettes i've been killing by the lake

jill's father's heart stopped on him just last December
and brianna's ex went through the windshield in August
now i know i'm just a faintly burning, ******* ember
but this concoction of pain and lust has become a must

morphing slowly into something worse
she told me, when i die, she wants to drive the hearse
my brains all jumbled and filled with nonsense
i move my tongue to speak but i'm makin' no sense
things never seemed bleaker and i like it that way
trudging through my life with my minimum pay

my car is broken down, ain't nothin' i can do
she drives me 'round town as my face turns blue
chokin' on the oxygen ****** through a cigarette filter
she tries her best to be the best, supreme guilt-er
payin' no mind with my head out the window
always emphasizing that she ain't no *****

I don't do this for me
I don't do this for you
I don't do this for my friends
I don't even do this for my family

I do this for peace
I do this for the future
I do this for balance
I do this for life

For it helps the signals from being crossed
For it helps hate from spilling into love
For it helps calm the the brewing sea
For it helps the bomb realize that fear is more benficial than death

my muscles tense when I think about it.

no one knows but my bones.

when I look up I know what's there.

nothing changes but my new heart beat.

and I grow and it grows.

it keeps me going when I don't know.

if you couldn't do the time
then why'd you do the crime?
your words and actions never align
i'll see you at the end of time

i saw you looking lonely, tracing lines
stone-faced and cradling a glass of wine
you always said alcohol was evil
i'll see you at the end of time

i will always be there to listen when you want to whine
your mouth goes one way but your body sends other signs
not saying anything new, i'm just covering it with rhyme
i'll see you at the end of time

The wind blew
The trees danced
The sky dreamed
The sun slept

The girl saw
And then sat
She thought of
That one place

Where everything was right
Sweet, kind, bright
The place where
Time seemed slow

And space infinite
Everyone loved her
They all laughed
And told her

Exactly how much
They loved her

But she knew
She was asleep

Here it comes
And there it goes
The moments gone
Before you'd like to admit
You thought too much
But not enough
You talked too much
Gotta shut your mouth
Some things are best
Left unsaid
Just leave it alone, babe
Please leave me alone

It is midnight
And I sit alone
Not another soul in sight
Contemplating complicating
Things don't need to be this way
Mulling over, tossing over
Things that should really be
What I really want
Is for you to come to me
As you are, just like that
I don't need eyes, don't need to see
Just need to feel you
And your lovely vibration
Touch my hand
Sit, don't stand
As I land
In the place I love the most

maybe i've spent too much time crying.
maybe i'm not good enough to die.
crawled out of that hole one more time.
wonder how many more i've got left
in me.

you see,
i've heard the bells and sirens.
ignored them and all rhyme and reason.
they say it's the time of the season.
to make way for the sun, it's beamin'.

the light it sheds shows me everything.
kinda makes me want to sing.
like the jester of a sad king,
i dance for my life.
while inside i'm dying.
inside i'm dying.
inside you're dying.

she crosses her t's like a crucifix
and dots her i's like nobody's business
she tells me she likes when i pull her hair
those green eyes make for a piercing stare
the kind that make you realize you shouldn't ever care

And
Nothing was the same
Yeah
Everything went back from where it came
And
I know it sounds kind of lame
But
Why did it have to go from where it came?
Why did it have to go back from where it came from?

Just like Earth girls and
Taking a stroll through hot Hell
Haikus are simple.

I dream of
Ten thousand knives
Sharp and poignant
Piercing the veil
Of our bodies
And the whole
Fabric of our
Being

You can hear the
Dripping, dropping
With your ear to the ground
The vibrations emit and emanate
For miles and miles and miles
The deaf can feel it
Even before we know
It is there

Bloodletting was common
Among the tribes of my homeland
Native Americans were in tune
With nature, the whole of it
Down to the
Thick crimson liquid
That flows through
Us all
An endless river
Of red life
Which oxygenates our bodies
Allows us to tap into
Our gifts
Our purposes
Our evils
Our meaning

When your breathing quickens
And your mind sways
Things just don't seem okay

When you're doomed to your bed
Your body glued to the sheets
You know life is something you can't cheat

Sometimes I think getting sick
Is the Universe's way of making sure
You know you can't run with your *** up, you're a *****

hang me from the highest cross
next to the oak adorned in green moss
let me feel the knife as you push it into me
I won't flinch once as I cease to be
with a smile on my smug face
confident as I slowly leave this place

so give me everything you've got
my skin turns cold while the sun beats hot
one thing you can never ****
is the ghost of my heart even as I lie still

sounding like some lonely teenage poetry
spewing from my head, so ordinarily
typical people with the same ideas
laughing as they clink glasses, cheers
all the while I look on, my smile never fades
wondering what comes next as the music plays

I hear your voice.
It sounds cold.
And hear your steps.
I feel old.
But your words,
they hold me up.
Hold me down.
Let me see.
Allow me
to feel
what is there,
what is here,
and where we are.

Give me light.
Illuminate
the way.
For my eyes
are bad in the dark.
And all around us
night has fallen.
The Sun is just a memory.
The warmth it gives,
just a faint echo.
As I crash
into the bridge
that we used
to get to here.

Awaken, my love.

For the trees
against the sky
seem to free
my tired eyes.

Darken, my love.

For the black
contrasts the light
like the latch
to the high-flying kite.

Hasten, my love.

For I only have so much time
before the curtains fall so fast.
You've been more than kind
on the lake on which you cast
those little,
lethal
stones.

I was born
To this flesh
A man of
Worry and doubt
Used to be
I never cared
No, I did
It's just now
Where I once
Hid in darkness
Is illuminated, bright
I can see
Clear and far
And everyone else
Seems not so
They brood, boil
Hardened yet soft
Moved around, shifting
Chameleons with camouflage
But no one
Comes even close
To the spot
In the Sun
Where I lay
My aching head

The ghost of fulfillment
The specter of satisfaction
The gist of universal lament
The soft-spoken takers of action
Gonna take over the world of old
Gonna press it till the old world unfolds

The shaking knees of the wronged
The darting eyes of those with a motive
The **** has piled up for too long
The deadweight of the sinful impulsive
Gonna free all wrongly accused
Gonna show you all the winners that lose

So just open your mind and your eyes
So you can make a conscious decision
So don't hover 'round it like flies
So just acknowledge all this derision
Gonna take out all your worldly pain
Gonna show you that the world's now a stain

You're just a-walkin down the street
Just a-rovin down on and to the beat
So sweet, never knew a love I could bear
Nope I never seemed too easy to really scare
It's just when someone gets under this skin
And I'm so down deep on the hole, you can't win
So I just lay there as she applies the pins

So then I'm stuck there wonderin'
Moving around and just flounderin'
But it always just gets me nowhere
Standing tippy-tied on my on-edge hairs
Just wonderin' and flounderin'
No, it seems I can never win
Nope just doomed to this life of sin
But I think that I handle it well
Yeah as far as I can tell
I handle it pretty well

all i wanted was to save you but i could never do that
one thing ive learned in my 24 years is only you can do that
if you ever decide to flip the switch ill be right there
ive waiting all this time but i don't mean to scare you
its just i believe in people and the power of their will
until the time is right ill be here in the middle of the night sitting still
making sure my influence or lack thereof serves you right
i don't mean to get too heavy all ive wanted to be was light
streaming through your ***** windows fighting the dark
let me be the strange rock you find walking through the park
sturdy and strong and representative of everything youre not
let me be the cool wind blowing when the sun is just too hot
when you finally realize that your bones are all that youve got
you can find me waiting for you in that ancient parking lot

Hailey
The hail is dropping inside you
Barely
Showing through your eyes too
I can't see it in your eyes*

your eyes are deceiving
never showing what you're thinking
mysterious enigmas aren't my forte
though, that game, i've learned to play
i can't see you when i need you
so i just hit the bar to sit with you

and when you complain
with you, i retrace all your rain
tell you to brush it off and run
and to never mind that ****
but we're always in a hole
maybe together we can grow
maybe together we can glow
maybe together we can go
maybe together we can
maybe together we can
maybe together

Sometimes I ask myself
How do you keep going?
And I just smile back and say
This is my life and I can not stop.

Alive when the sun goes down
Nothing to stop me now
Just a king without a crown
And I can help you get found

Since you lost your sense of sight
Everything seems like a blur
Since you lost your will to fight
You asked if I could help, I said "sure"
But I haven't seen your face since then
The only question on my mind is "When?"

I'm not claiming anything mystic
But I've been known to help a soul or two
I'm nothing to be noted, nothing all too prolific
Though I have been known to pick and choose
I'm telling you now, I'm a different man
I'm telling you, now I've got a fool proof plan

She doesn't know
She doesn't know
That I'll go
Gladly go
With a straight face
I've picked up my pace
Trees pass by
Sidewalk cracks
Is it wrong
To move on?
Let go
You have to
Or be dragged
You will
Until your skin
Is scratched to bone
Until your face
Is unrecognizable
She doesn't know
She doesn't want to know
That I'll go

He was a clown
He liked to **** around
Just flailing through life
Not caring enough to fight
Sailing blindly through troubled waters
And each day his strength seemed to faulter
The waves smiled at him in pity
He used to be but he's no longer witty
His mind dulled from lack of movement
He knew he desperately had to create his moment
So he packed his bags and headed off
The people behind him just scoffed and ****** off
Because he had no other options
He headed to the circus where the crowds were flocking

Heading on up and into the mountains
Where the beautiful trees and the endless fountains
Of his dreams were but a wisp of smoke
On which he was tempted to choke
But he ****** it up with the rest of the *******
And asked the owner if he could try his hand a bit
With no experience and close to no knowledge
The man gave him a break after he said he'd been to college
With that lie behind him and the mystery ahead
He smiled wide and tried to stand on his head
And he did, he did stand!
He jumped, and on his feet he did land
The man smiled back and clapped his hands
"I hope you can juggle, because, for you, I've got plans!"

i know im not the type
to go with all the hype
moving against the tide
while everyone tries to hide
i wear my scars on my face
never smile while i keep my pace

i know im 24 and up until now i haven't been much
squandering and wallowing and wasting my days and such
but im working every day on who i want to be
and i ****** it up cuz she loved me for me
i just hope she reads this before i start charging a fee

just way too young to be feeling this way
like i made a deal with the devil and forever i'll pay
a curse and a blessing is what this all seems to be
a left plus a right, an up plus a down all adds up to me
if picking up the pieces was easy then everyone would
and i used to think i was trying as hard as i could
but now i realize that i have so much more to do
i just wish everyone could see the world from my shoes
that would shatter the mystery and explain why im like this
before i didn't care because i always had your kiss
and then you were gone and crossed off of my list
if anything, this is to show you that i really gave a ****

to the sound of the guns and the sirens and the screams
i look upon you and ask that you don't hear my words
with all my heart and soul i feel the tattered clothes
hanging on your frail frame like an innocent man dangling
over a retractable floorboard

marching through the forest and then the town and through streets
paved with the blood of the children of the downtrodden
mothers cry out for the one true savior of their grief
the creator of all things holy and good and unmistakable
hears the chaos with a cool grin

it is he who witnesses the wrongdoings of beasts
as well as the good-natured and even-tempered
the wrongs that are righted by the hands of demons
and the atrocities that can be seen in the palms of saints

walking ever so slowly
down the sloping, lonely ramps
like no one's ever stared at you
you ignore my signals and signs
i'm calling your name quietly tonight
lookin' like i got into a fight
dancing over too you in the middle of my mind
i'm just trying to wind up finding your old signs
hanging in the doorway of your head
would i be crossing the line if i said
"before i saw you, i was the living dead"?

it really seems like everything was set up
looking up, not giving up
thought it was a waste of my time
until i got the courage to step over the line

swaggering smoothly toward me
trying & choosing to smoothly sway me
though i've seen your kind
i trip into your trap with eyes wide
animated lilies spring up around us
digital wind moves the grass, and i must
say that i think the ground feels familiar
beneath my feet, the soil's loose, you're my killer
i try to find your gaze, but it's lost in the dirt
never believe the words "this won't hurt"
that might be the biggest lie i've ever heard

when things never go right
it's easy to give up the fight
and you're in the hole with no way out
taking punch after punch in this constant bout
you can sharpen your nails and try to climb up
but they'll break, because you're brittle and you don't really give a ****

Envisioning
From the backseat
The brutal heat
And burning concrete
Beneath
My bare feet
These stringent standards set before me

The goalposts are constantly changing
The white knuckling I'm always doing
Always moving, never choosing  
The deep, dark bruising

Fires burning in my heart
Burning in my dreams
Burning in my mind
Everything and nothing
Turns to powdery ash
Around me

fight or die, fight and cry
or cry and die
what you're saying
to play the game their playing
we can't and i won't
but you don't
you don't know
you don't know

refusal to fall into line
gets you on the unemployment line
not following the rules
gets you stripped, killed & ruined
but the turning point is close
this war is what they chose

so kiss me tenderly before i go
when the bombs drop, it's not for show
their aim is to aim fast and fire quick
while your buried deep in the thick of it
keeping up appearances holds no weight anymore
it never did, but now the rich are still rich and the poor beyond poor

"That's life.
Sinatra said it best."

My uncle always told me
"You should make a movie
and call it That's Life."
And he'd smile
And look down
Spit on the ground
Then his smile
Would fade

"That's life."

parting people
particularly
prowl
subways sounding
like their
suffering surfing
the things
they
thought
were wrong
with
withering
conviction counting
coins
callously
bouncing back
breezing
by
foreheads frowning
from
first
fostering
fifty other fevers.

the lines on your face tell a story i've never heard
nor seen, blown to smithereens, you're a broken bird
with your wings growing back crookedly
the first time you saw will be the last time you see
i've seen this fifteen times before
the sixteenth won't mean much more
you're awfully late to the game you started yourself

your eyes once looked my way
floating in ***** water, unbathed
thinking i'm headed for a watery grave
because, to your eyes, i'm a slave
getting better at your favorite game

I set out to set the crooked straight
And I'm on my way
For this type of thing it's never too late
So just get out of my play
You were a wolf in sheep skin
But now I'm the one out for blood and I'm going in

I keep my head down
Eyes on the pavement
The new days are comin' 'round
This is just what I meant
Things could be better
Things could be worse
And that's when I found her
My photo in her purse

Things never change
No they never will
As I'm switching lanes
Out for the ****
To the end
Trying to end it all
Around the bend
Aiming for the fall

With nothing around
No distractions
Nobody here to walk my ground
Go in alone with no directions
I know what I know
What you know, I know
With that in mind
Why don't you just go?

You don't know me like you think you do
Want you to get to see the light shine through
I'm not really as heartless
I'm not really as soulless
As you've been thinking

My words only mean as much as you take them for
So believe me, or don't, just please don't be sore
I begged you to stay that day
And then I threw you away
My life got so ******
Way beyond a pity
And I've got no one to blame but me
I'm a different man just trying to make you see

I'm gonna keep spilling this to you
Like milk gone sour but maybe it's glue
I'm not saying that I need you
Just would rather not live without you
You raised my bar
And now I'm up so far
But when I'm driving my car
I see your face, it's so far
Your face is so far
So far
So
far

I see those pieces of you.
They fit me just fine.
So lets walk together.
Lets pop this bottle of wine.
But you're so you that you
put me straight to shame.

You are so young and so free
that I'm afraid I might not let you be.
You bring that feeling that I don't want to leave.
I get too excited when you say you want to be with me.

I just want what I want
and that's a selfish thing.
I know you've got yours
and that's why I'm singing.
Not because this is how it is
but because of what this could be.

The city inside my head
never sleeps.
When I go to bed, the noise
doesn't cease.
Rapists and murderers
roam the streets.
Taking advantage of anyone,
anything and they won't leave.
Leaving me no choice but
lock away my key.
Never to be touched again,
no more me.

On the ground
Or in the air
In the clouds
Or in the waves
He looked into the depths
Of these things all the same

He was a hunter
A warrior by birth
With his guns and his knives
And his hand to the Earth

It was in his blood
And he knew it was true
When he did his share of spilling
That blood, in his mind stuck like glue

To the skies and the mountains
The oceans and the trees
His pistol stayed warm
Even as the cold wind began to seize
The bears and the deer and the rabbits
In their tracks through the forest
He felt no regret, nor pain
As he gazed upon the crimson stains

made a promise for a new dawn.
never liked it that way.
this way isn't that great.
it does, however, pay.
so I'm sticking to paths.
planting my feet and twisting around.

so I move in a different way.
and I don't want to hear about yours.
I hear clearly the words that you say.
and the sweat pours out of pores.

things on the street, it's everywhere.
bottles, cans and heartbeats.
walking through forests and people stare.
if you're not part of the flock,
then you give them a big scare.
living life on the highway.
living life the high way.

blinded by the light
deafened by the sound
blunted by the powers that be
crushed by the ground

gazing into the abyss
staring contests with the sun
swimming in the void
pleasure kills the fun
strolling down a dirt road
tripping on things you should've seen
stabbed by the hindsight
you were never all you could be

Dead men tell no lies
And while they're at it
Dead men tell no truths
Soaked in filth and filled with ****
Their bodies tell a story no words can try to speak

On the path to glory
They paint a picture quite the opposite
Or are they mere decorations that are hung?
Either way, once human will has quit
Their ghosts, on individual thrones they sit

Nothing like it
Not like anyone cares
To care to know
Is like signing your life away
In debt to those who hold your thoughts

The devil laughs in your face
Caps the pen
Swallows the key
And walks off smirking and screaming
Laughing

i was working day in and day out
to carve out this life we had in our heads
but when your whispers turned into shouts
the worst seemed like the best that i could get

driving in my car thinking about your face
you really could light up the darkest place
when we touch i think the end is close
you bring death, bring life, neither of which we chose
sometimes i think i could die with you
but i know you don't reciprocate
you break me and you dislocate
my bones