I dream of
Ten thousand knives
Sharp and poignant
Piercing the veil
Of our bodies
And the whole
Fabric of our
Being

You can hear the
Dripping, dropping
With your ear to the ground
The vibrations emit and emanate
For miles and miles and miles
The deaf can feel it
Even before we know
It is there

Bloodletting was common
Among the tribes of my homeland
Native Americans were in tune
With nature, the whole of it
Down to the
Thick crimson liquid
That flows through
Us all
An endless river
Of red life
Which oxygenates our bodies
Allows us to tap into
Our gifts
Our purposes
Our evils
Our meaning

"That's life.
Sinatra said it best."

My uncle always told me
"You should make a movie
and call it That's Life."
And he'd smile
And look down
Spit on the ground
Then his smile
Would fade

"That's life."

the pit in my heart
perforates your halo
floating, broken apart
is it wrong to love you?
i cant help but love you

the hole in my head
has nothing to say
the valley in my bed
judging me smugly
just like everyone else

And
Nothing was the same
Yeah
Everything went back from where it came
And
I know it sounds kind of lame
But
Why did it have to go from where it came?
Why did it have to go back from where it came from?

hang me from the highest cross
next to the oak adorned in green moss
let me feel the knife as you push it into me
I won't flinch once as I cease to be
with a smile on my smug face
confident as I slowly leave this place

so give me everything you've got
my skin turns cold while the sun beats hot
one thing you can never ****
is the ghost of my heart even as I lie still

sounding like some lonely teenage poetry
spewing from my head, so ordinarily
typical people with the same ideas
laughing as they clink glasses, cheers
all the while I look on, my smile never fades
wondering what comes next as the music plays

you don't know if its up or down or up
head in the clouds like its where its supposed to ******' be
used to drink every day, got so ****** up
stumblin' down the hall with the lights off, couldn't see a ******' thing
strap me down, wrap me in that sweet straightjacket
if i scream, if i screech remind me to shut my ******' mouth
thought i could walk, i could talk like 'em but i could never hack it
so i grew these broken wings and made my way ******' south

Pacifists don't get anywhere
but neither do the War Pigs.
Eternal peace breeds eternal
love.
Eternal war breeds eternal
hate.

Looking a gun in the face,
just a finger away from the great beyond
and doing nothing about it
and accepting that your soul will go on
won't do you any good.

Your family weeps and your future bleeds
out on the hard concrete in the faces of everyone
who has ever loved you and hoped for you.
You don't have to win
but you have to fight.
You don't have to sin
but you've got to have
might.
You have
the right.
You have
your sight.
So just
fight.
And you
will
go
on.

The ghost of fulfillment
The specter of satisfaction
The gist of universal lament
The soft-spoken takers of action
Gonna take over the world of old
Gonna press it till the old world unfolds

The shaking knees of the wronged
The darting eyes of those with a motive
The **** has piled up for too long
The deadweight of the sinful impulsive
Gonna free all wrongly accused
Gonna show you all the winners that lose

So just open your mind and your eyes
So you can make a conscious decision
So don't hover 'round it like flies
So just acknowledge all this derision
Gonna take out all your worldly pain
Gonna show you that the world's now a stain

He was a clown
He liked to **** around
Just flailing through life
Not caring enough to fight
Sailing blindly through troubled waters
And each day his strength seemed to faulter
The waves smiled at him in pity
He used to be but he's no longer witty
His mind dulled from lack of movement
He knew he desperately had to create his moment
So he packed his bags and headed off
The people behind him just scoffed and ****** off
Because he had no other options
He headed to the circus where the crowds were flocking

Heading on up and into the mountains
Where the beautiful trees and the endless fountains
Of his dreams were but a wisp of smoke
On which he was tempted to choke
But he ****** it up with the rest of the *******
And asked the owner if he could try his hand a bit
With no experience and close to no knowledge
The man gave him a break after he said he'd been to college
With that lie behind him and the mystery ahead
He smiled wide and tried to stand on his head
And he did, he did stand!
He jumped, and on his feet he did land
The man smiled back and clapped his hands
"I hope you can juggle, because, for you, I've got plans!"

I just want
What you do
But what that is
I never know
So come with me
Down to the beach
Your eyes can't see
What you can reach

Lets just go now
Now let's take off
Lets just let go how
How we used to scoff
But now we know
Yeah now I know

She doesn't know
She doesn't know
That I'll go
Gladly go
With a straight face
I've picked up my pace
Trees pass by
Sidewalk cracks
Is it wrong
To move on?
Let go
You have to
Or be dragged
You will
Until your skin
Is scratched to bone
Until your face
Is unrecognizable
She doesn't know
She doesn't want to know
That I'll go

i know im not the type
to go with all the hype
moving against the tide
while everyone tries to hide
i wear my scars on my face
never smile while i keep my pace

i know im 24 and up until now i haven't been much
squandering and wallowing and wasting my days and such
but im working every day on who i want to be
and i ****** it up cuz she loved me for me
i just hope she reads this before i start charging a fee

just way too young to be feeling this way
like i made a deal with the devil and forever i'll pay
a curse and a blessing is what this all seems to be
a left plus a right, an up plus a down all adds up to me
if picking up the pieces was easy then everyone would
and i used to think i was trying as hard as i could
but now i realize that i have so much more to do
i just wish everyone could see the world from my shoes
that would shatter the mystery and explain why im like this
before i didn't care because i always had your kiss
and then you were gone and crossed off of my list
if anything, this is to show you that i really gave a ****

I set out to set the crooked straight
And I'm on my way
For this type of thing it's never too late
So just get out of my play
You were a wolf in sheep skin
But now I'm the one out for blood and I'm going in

I keep my head down
Eyes on the pavement
The new days are comin' 'round
This is just what I meant
Things could be better
Things could be worse
And that's when I found her
My photo in her purse

Things never change
No they never will
As I'm switching lanes
Out for the ****
To the end
Trying to end it all
Around the bend
Aiming for the fall

With nothing around
No distractions
Nobody here to walk my ground
Go in alone with no directions
I know what I know
What you know, I know
With that in mind
Why don't you just go?

she crosses her t's like a crucifix
and dots her i's like nobody's business
she tells me she likes when i pull her hair
those green eyes make for a piercing stare
the kind that make you realize you shouldn't ever care

I was drifting through perilous pines
Skipping stones and raking through rhymes
Like leaves on a warm autumn afternoon
Staring skyward, wishing the sun wouldn't wither so soon

When a realization ******* my reaction time
As raindrops ran rigid down my head, a sign
I figured, maybe foolishly, I should head toward the house on the hill
With the dull colored window panes that curiously caused a chill
Down my spine, like a spider creeping
And still
I found, toward the house I was heading

Upon arriving at the front garden
The wind picked up, my countenance hardened
I hoped I had trekked there for a fruitful find
Then I looked down, heard a sound and a saw a line
In the grass that looked to lead around back
The sound was a whirring loud enough to give a heart attack

I wandered around the house, the noise still echoing in my head
Thoughts of witches and ghosts lingered like I was a child before bed
Having made my way to the side of the sulking structure
Yes, it seemed to sulk there, like a heart that had been punctured
An old tractor with worn wheels sat, facing me
But a faint glinting in the grass beneath the tire was all I could see
So I moved in, bent down and heard the noise again!
Just as I got close enough to see, my knees gave in
The tractors engine had started, and the wheel splattered my head

my heads a cluttered mess
i can't see, can't get dressed
i can't think, i'm just stressed
and i'm digging myself deeper everyday

i saw her and she smiled
disappointed her for miles
and i thought i was out of this hole
i wanna die before i get old

when things never go right
it's easy to give up the fight
and you're in the hole with no way out
taking punch after punch in this constant bout
you can sharpen your nails and try to climb up
but they'll break, because you're brittle and you don't really give a ****

The city inside my head
never sleeps.
When I go to bed, the noise
doesn't cease.
Rapists and murderers
roam the streets.
Taking advantage of anyone,
anything and they won't leave.
Leaving me no choice but
lock away my key.
Never to be touched again,
no more me.

Hailey
The hail is dropping inside you
Barely
Showing through your eyes too
I can't see it in your eyes*

your eyes are deceiving
never showing what you're thinking
mysterious enigmas aren't my forte
though, that game, i've learned to play
i can't see you when i need you
so i just hit the bar to sit with you

and when you complain
with you, i retrace all your rain
tell you to brush it off and run
and to never mind that ****
but we're always in a hole
maybe together we can grow
maybe together we can glow
maybe together we can go
maybe together we can
maybe together we can
maybe together

Tread carefully
This matters
Don't look back
Just keep
Up

I was born
To this flesh
A man of
Worry and doubt
Used to be
I never cared
No, I did
It's just now
Where I once
Hid in darkness
Is illuminated, bright
I can see
Clear and far
And everyone else
Seems not so
They brood, boil
Hardened yet soft
Moved around, shifting
Chameleons with camouflage
But no one
Comes even close
To the spot
In the Sun
Where I lay
My aching head

On the ground
Or in the air
In the clouds
Or in the waves
He looked into the depths
Of these things all the same

He was a hunter
A warrior by birth
With his guns and his knives
And his hand to the Earth

It was in his blood
And he knew it was true
When he did his share of spilling
That blood, in his mind stuck like glue

To the skies and the mountains
The oceans and the trees
His pistol stayed warm
Even as the cold wind began to seize
The bears and the deer and the rabbits
In their tracks through the forest
He felt no regret, nor pain
As he gazed upon the crimson stains

that day i slipped on a beautiful banana peel
and fell, fuzzy head over worn out heels,
in crazy carnival ride love with you.

i was never as happily confused as the night we met.
i couldn't think through the pounding deja vu in my head.
in my bones, i knew, it was as real as it could get

in the pitch black dark on that old park bench.

blinded by the light
deafened by the sound
blunted by the powers that be
crushed by the ground

gazing into the abyss
staring contests with the sun
swimming in the void
pleasure kills the fun
strolling down a dirt road
tripping on things you should've seen
stabbed by the hindsight
you were never all you could be

Run down the valley
Kick your feet through the hills and
Some day you will fly

You don't know me like you think you do
Want you to get to see the light shine through
I'm not really as heartless
I'm not really as soulless
As you've been thinking

My words only mean as much as you take them for
So believe me, or don't, just please don't be sore
I begged you to stay that day
And then I threw you away
My life got so ******
Way beyond a pity
And I've got no one to blame but me
I'm a different man just trying to make you see

I'm gonna keep spilling this to you
Like milk gone sour but maybe it's glue
I'm not saying that I need you
Just would rather not live without you
You raised my bar
And now I'm up so far
But when I'm driving my car
I see your face, it's so far
Your face is so far
So far
So
far

You say it isn't fair
To expect so much
The way that your hair
Blows in the wind with such
Tenacity makes it hard
To imagine a time
After I've known you
When I can't hold your hand
All I can hope is that I've grown on you
It's unfortunate you see through me & this land

So all that I ask
Is that you don't leave
Had I been given this task
Before I would have not dared to weave
This basket of bone and skin
It just seems sometimes I just can't win

You talk so elegantly with
Your lips parted ever so slightly
You say you know all the tricks
And see the ones up my sleeves
I'm sorry to say
But I must admit
I didn't come to play
And what you're thinking is *******
Just like that you're done & just walk
Now I'm glad my outlines in chalk

Now, I don't know about you
But I know why they play love songs on the radio
Now, I don't know if it's true
But when you're riding down the highway
With the windows down
The air hits your face like water
Waking you up

I see those pieces of you.
They fit me just fine.
So lets walk together.
Lets pop this bottle of wine.
But you're so you that you
put me straight to shame.

You are so young and so free
that I'm afraid I might not let you be.
You bring that feeling that I don't want to leave.
I get too excited when you say you want to be with me.

I just want what I want
and that's a selfish thing.
I know you've got yours
and that's why I'm singing.
Not because this is how it is
but because of what this could be.

lying down, face up
enclosed in darkness
tried to move, no luck
to me, the black harkens

thinking back, i can't see
the memory is there but I can't grasp it
what is there in front of me?
the rabbit's just a bit too quick to trap it

locked in on all sides
my breathing quickens
the hard floor overrides
everything as the air thickens

Dead men tell no lies
And while they're at it
Dead men tell no truths
Soaked in filth and filled with ****
Their bodies tell a story no words can try to speak

On the path to glory
They paint a picture quite the opposite
Or are they mere decorations that are hung?
Either way, once human will has quit
Their ghosts, on individual thrones they sit

Things never seem the same
When you look back from whence you came
Realization hits you like a wheelbarrow full of bricks
This newfound process only worsens your little mental ticks
And then you don't know what to do or who to run to
And your left debating the worth of what they say is true

Living in a constant state of question
Asking yourself: "Do they know what they do only lessens
the quality, and probably quantity, of your years here on Earth?"
Always weighing the pros and cons of your fickle worth
In and out and out and back, your minds changes and warps
Never knowing what to feel and what to just ignore

It's days like these when I wake up
And instantly feel the crushing weight
It's 8 AM and you've already had enough
As though your confidence is many years too late
Thinking and mulling over and over-analyzing
Co-morbid guilt and selfishness can be paralyzing

So you decide to lay down and get in bed
Only you've spent way too much time doing it
The only thing is that your body is pure lead
And you can't figure out the right way to go about it
You talk yourself out of it but it's no use
There is no winning this when you have to settle to lose

maybe i've spent too much time crying.
maybe i'm not good enough to die.
crawled out of that hole one more time.
wonder how many more i've got left
in me.

you see,
i've heard the bells and sirens.
ignored them and all rhyme and reason.
they say it's the time of the season.
to make way for the sun, it's beamin'.

the light it sheds shows me everything.
kinda makes me want to sing.
like the jester of a sad king,
i dance for my life.
while inside i'm dying.
inside i'm dying.
inside you're dying.

Creeping anxiety
takes a hold of me.
Drips through the cracks,
then off my broken back
like the rain off the roof
(with more than a few screws loose).

Walking slowly...
if only, if only
I could get this square
peg in that round hole where
I used to run and play as a kid
(before I hit the skids).

Up with the birds
Out with the wind
Through with the confidence
And nothing makes sense
Like the up and up
Careening into the dark
And down, down, down
I'm stranded in the park
Dilapidated and dated (and what's my consolation?)
My brain's been thrown to the sharks

Floating, blue water dyed red
As they cut to the surface
My body is cast-iron lead
Watching as this place
Roars from nil and naught
To somewhere I want to stay
I don't know where to look
Now and again I'm turned on my head
Only now I can read it like a book
When I'm not sunken so deep in my bed

You're just a-walkin down the street
Just a-rovin down on and to the beat
So sweet, never knew a love I could bear
Nope I never seemed too easy to really scare
It's just when someone gets under this skin
And I'm so down deep on the hole, you can't win
So I just lay there as she applies the pins

So then I'm stuck there wonderin'
Moving around and just flounderin'
But it always just gets me nowhere
Standing tippy-tied on my on-edge hairs
Just wonderin' and flounderin'
No, it seems I can never win
Nope just doomed to this life of sin
But I think that I handle it well
Yeah as far as I can tell
I handle it pretty well

blood on my fingertips.
caught the brunt
and couldn't hack it.
blood on your lips.
you whisper in my ear
and it drips,
drips.

fire on the mountain.
from the valley below
i was counting.
alarms were sounding.
but i stayed
and in the smoke i was lounging,
counting.

made a promise for a new dawn.
never liked it that way.
this way isn't that great.
it does, however, pay.
so I'm sticking to paths.
planting my feet and twisting around.

so I move in a different way.
and I don't want to hear about yours.
I hear clearly the words that you say.
and the sweat pours out of pores.

things on the street, it's everywhere.
bottles, cans and heartbeats.
walking through forests and people stare.
if you're not part of the flock,
then you give them a big scare.
living life on the highway.
living life the high way.

feeling all the marks you left on me
trying to find a way around it
you go about business so happily
i don't know where you found it
i've been grabbing at the roots of trees
doing anything i can to stay grounded

Just like Earth girls and
Taking a stroll through hot Hell
Haikus are simple.

i don't trust anyone
because i know no one's perfect
for a while, it was fun
but it wouldn't, it didn't stick

love will wear us out
love will tear us apart
love will make us doubt
love inside an upside-down shopping cart

you were looking at me
with that glint in your eye
the glint that caused me to cry
so many times
before

you were saying things
that i couldn't make out
i looked up and looked down
at your broken crown
on the floor

i tried so hard to compose myself
but my knees kept buckling
under the weight of your suffering
i know you were dying
to tell me that

sometimes all i can think of
are the words i couldn't hear
that ring so loud in my ears
after what seems like years
you're so broken

all i know is i love you
and i'm here for whatever you need
for you, i would bleed
let you take the lead
i will follow you

Nothing like it
Not like anyone cares
To care to know
Is like signing your life away
In debt to those who hold your thoughts

The devil laughs in your face
Caps the pen
Swallows the key
And walks off smirking and screaming
Laughing

i was getting bored of the love.
smothered in warmth, dying inside.
on the highest cliff, all i need is a shove.
i was getting bored of the love.

you started saying stupid things again.
sometimes i wanted to sew my ears shut.
it was then that i realized i couldn't just lend
my heart to anyone that wanted it.

Sometimes I ask myself
How do you keep going?
And I just smile back and say
This is my life and I can not stop.

oh, blessed composer of words
with tact and skill you sweep us
off the edge of the wicked world

time doesn't slip by
when we consume your prose
it gets us, and keeps us, high

the holy and the god-fearing
have nothing on your heart
no one's love compares to yours

fight or die, fight and cry
or cry and die
what you're saying
to play the game their playing
we can't and i won't
but you don't
you don't know
you don't know

refusal to fall into line
gets you on the unemployment line
not following the rules
gets you stripped, killed & ruined
but the turning point is close
this war is what they chose

so kiss me tenderly before i go
when the bombs drop, it's not for show
their aim is to aim fast and fire quick
while your buried deep in the thick of it
keeping up appearances holds no weight anymore
it never did, but now the rich are still rich and the poor beyond poor

to the sound of the guns and the sirens and the screams
i look upon you and ask that you don't hear my words
with all my heart and soul i feel the tattered clothes
hanging on your frail frame like an innocent man dangling
over a retractable floorboard

marching through the forest and then the town and through streets
paved with the blood of the children of the downtrodden
mothers cry out for the one true savior of their grief
the creator of all things holy and good and unmistakable
hears the chaos with a cool grin

it is he who witnesses the wrongdoings of beasts
as well as the good-natured and even-tempered
the wrongs that are righted by the hands of demons
and the atrocities that can be seen in the palms of saints

I knew what you said
I gave you my all
I should have listened
We knew I would fall
But I gave you my all
I fell for your hair
And the way it fell on you
I guess I was scared
But now I'm just blue

And I'm a fool for you
You never see me through
Written off and back on again
Back when a word you couldnt lend

the lines on your face tell a story i've never heard
nor seen, blown to smithereens, you're a broken bird
with your wings growing back crookedly
the first time you saw will be the last time you see
i've seen this fifteen times before
the sixteenth won't mean much more
you're awfully late to the game you started yourself

your eyes once looked my way
floating in ***** water, unbathed
thinking i'm headed for a watery grave
because, to your eyes, i'm a slave
getting better at your favorite game