You talk about forever
Like it's a fleeting moment
In the grand scheme of things
I suppose that's just what it is
But, in the end
On the small scale
That is us
It's
Everything

Forget cosmic wonder
And all it is and everything else
Forget the stars and the Sun and the Moon
Because they don't belong to us
The stars owe us nothing
Not a thing
And we owe them it all

It's cheaper
To die
In the first bed
They put you in
Than to
Heal you of the Earthly
Maladies bestowed upon
Our fragile, rickety bodies
The second they decide
That it's time for you to emerge
Flesh from the flesh of your mother's

Abortion is a travesty
A selfish act committed
By selfish women
Or so they say
It's really funny actually
How they cherish
Your unborn heart
And brain
But once you're removed
From the dark womb
Into that dark room
They say
"Let 'em die."
Because your poor mother
Didn't have enough
Change swirling around
Her shallow pocketbook

All these years have passed me by.
You smiled at me as you cried.
It never struck me like it has now,
that I'd been searching for your love
for so long.

Looking high and low.
From the sky to the ground.
The affection that you showed
flew by my heart at high speed.
But now the time has come,
when things aren't so muddled.
Don't know where you came from
but now I realize.

Like the lookout on the tower,
I check my watch hour by hour.
Peering out over the bridges
and patching up my old stitches.
It's just now that I've found
what I thought could never be.
With both feet on solid ground,
now I've measured pound for pound.
What you've got for me
isn't just a love story.

the backs of your legs
are white as the clouds
the little curl at the corner of your mouth begs
the words you say are soft, yet loud
and now i'm cracking like an egg

Nothing seems so funny
When you have no money
And you can't give and
Therefore warrant no reception
Of anything
Gift or gaze or gallivanting
About

So you have to spend
Time
Since you've no dime
Or dollar
Slaving and selling
Your soul and trying so hard
To see through the ******
And mustard gas that makes itself
Evident once you realize where that your job
Is good for absolutely nothing other than
That feeling of being able to give
And, thus, to receive

Anything at all

This is just to
express
How I lose all my
******* bearings
Around you, I can't rest
When I have this
bridge to cross
Because I've got
my own cross
To bear in this blaring heat
And the blistering cold
and it means nothing
When at the ends
of the deserts
And at the final field filled
up with snow
The wind and
the heat and
the cold and
my weary feet
Don't count
for anything
No they
don't

Oh little girl
You're so
naive
My stomach
turns
In time
with the eve
Of the day
I'll be with you

so, here's to the anxiety.
the nights i was so drunk i couldn't see.
the times i told you "i love you".
when you said you didn't think it was true.
the shivering and the icy rain.
lips quivering and stinging pain.

why is it so hard
to get my head
on an even keel?
and to fill with lead
would be so simple

I have nothing to hold onto
when the lights go dark
I never know what to do
but at the same time, I do
I don't know what to do

I feel the end coming on
and a new start beginning
but I'm not sure it's worth it
to go on and keep on losing
I've lost everything I've ever won

I never knew
how to speak to you.
Running from the truth
until my lips turn blue.

Your eyes are scared
to see what's right there.
So you close yourself off
by taking your clothes off.
Open yourself up when
someone seems to care.
But in the end
it's all for naught.

From a spark
Smoke
Comes a fire
Through a crack
Holes
Light shines through

Son of a gun
Bullets
Fill the gap
Comes a man
Young
With his mind made up

broke my spirit not once, but thrice
everyone eventually pays the price
at your house, at your own expense
i wanna quit but nothin' makes sense
because i've borrowed everything i've ever lent

dawn to dusk
dust to dust
trust me, trust us
undo these cold handcuffs

you caused a fuss
i missed my bus
they were staring at us
two big oaks, sapped of luck

we've been ******
since the start
this life *****
but play your part
push that cosmic shopping cart

ive been inspired to be uninspired
and all the things happening right now
seem like some sick and elaborate plan
i will take myself out of this and live forever
its time i take responsibility for all of this cruelty
everything ive ever inflicted upon you and them
was unintentional even when i meant to do it
i am out of my mind and ill be the first to admit it
but that doesn't make up for the ramblings of a dull man
and when i was just a boy i didn't realize the repercussions
all that i saw i took in with open arms and soaked it up like a sponge
now they live deep inside me crying out to be exorcised
but even exercise cant take me away from where im at right now
every breath burns my lungs like all of these cigarettes
i inhale with a vigor like nothing else ive ever done in my life
fixated on the thought of you under the streetlight that night
so pretty and pure and you ran away because i liked to fight
its all my fault and the guilt i feel cant purge me of that
so now i just sit here and wonder what you think of me
always thinking of myself and disregarding the rest
that's the curse that's been brought down like a sledgehammer
onto my deformed and ***-backwards ******* smile
for no reason am i entitled to feel like i was owed something
i just wanted to see you but there i go with the me-me-me's again
so this is for you, wherever you are i don't even know
nor do i even care that much because you'll always live within me
i just hope you find someone to bring you everything you seek
i was weak before and you were too strong to be with something this meek

She told me
To come over
And on her
Never saw her
Like that before
Changed before my
Eyes sinking high
Looking for the sky
All I saw
Was darkness fading
In and out
As I went
Forth and back
Near had a
******* heart attack
When the door
Opened a little more
But it was
Only her dog

i wanna do you
might wanna own you
see right through you
i see the one, lone you

in the end we'll both be unhappy
because our childhoods were ******
we can blame and go on for days
but we'll still listen to what our mothers say
can't ever seem to get a grip
we should take a long trip

and when we finally go
it'll be like all those tv shows
happy, happy, sad, happy
i want you to trap me
you're the only one to me
think we can set eachother free

Don't forget
To check in
On yourself
When things
Disintegrate

I promise
To do no harm to you
To never stray between the lines
Even when my light goes from white to blue
My foggy mirror will always show the truth

With that, I think
Through appreciation or disdain
What my brain tells my body to do
Should never cause any pain
Because what I commit myself to
Will no doubt take me for a fool

If you want to live
Then you have to die
And if you want to smile
Then you have to cry
Just listen to the ground
And kiss the roots of trees
For your head used to pound
Until you allowed yourself to see

You search,
it's yours to find.
And move,
you've been too kind.
I'm not for you,
not to be confused.
With the truth,
because I never can tell.

I'm the thick of the night
When you can barely see
And the darkness
Encloses me
When you most afraid
And things seem too tight
I am there
In the thick of the night
So wrap your arms
All around me
And forget what
You're trying to be
Just remember
I'll always be
Right there
Up in a tree
In a corner
Of your mind

Everybody says they've got the answer
Everybody says they've got the secret
Just keep breathing
Just keep being
Nothing, no, nothing can touch you
If you just keep breathing

Your thoughts are only temporary
Temporary and fleeting to and from
Your jumbled brain filled with garbage
Like the town dump just filled with ****
The secret, though, the secret
Is just to ignore it, ignore it
Because none of this is real

Life is an illusion machine
Working hard to keep you interested
And so many little people fall for it
They get ****** in
They shoot their guns
They **** their kin
They **** themselves

But, but, but, but
No one seems to get it
They just don't realize it
They should read a book
And put down their poisons
Put down their swords
Put down their shields
Because all of it means nothing
In the end
It means nothing
It means nothing
We are the light
We are the light
We are the light
We are not the dark
Not the dark
Even though some seem to fall for it
They hit the floor and succumb to it
But we're not the blackness
We're not the blank stare
Not the death of it

The howls of wolves rang through the night
Warm air and regret hung o'er my brain
Never was a peacemaker, jus' lookin' for a fight
Always knew a silver lining traced the pain
But then I stumbled on a mangled animal
Breathing heavy, my body just stalled

But this wasn't your usual wild dead
The legs moved and it turned its head
I stepped back as it scrambled, bleeding
Never had such a dreaded feeling

Woke up at the bottom of Old Green Hill
Looked around to find nothing but confusion
Teeth marks riddled arms and then I felt ill
As I stumbled back to my cabin, I felt the protrusion
Of teeth, but no not on my arm this time
My mouth was suddenly the home to primal
                                                                                                          pearly whites

With tears
And sorrow
A house
Becomes
A funeral home

my muscles tense when I think about it.

no one knows but my bones.

when I look up I know what's there.

nothing changes but my new heart beat.

and I grow and it grows.

it keeps me going when I don't know.

don't you know that
your light compliments my dark?
and everything and all that
we encounter transforms into something not as stark?

the lights on the highway
pass me by like broken souls.
on my way to you
i know you'll fill my empty bowl.

hieroglyphics and strange markings
up and down your body.
i can't make them go away
but i can make it so you won't see
them as something that's harmed you.

You don't get it
The depth of emotion
Deep, vast valleys
Of joy and wonder
Deep, dark holes
Of **** and anxiety
The flux can't be held
In your hand
Or in a tightly capped bottle
It's endless and boundless
Timeless and zoneless
You can't describe it
Although I've been trying
My whole life

Street lights
On a Saturday night
Oh
The moonlit sights.

His beard is sharp
Styled and clean
She played the harp
In his mind, I mean
They went out
And up in flames
They weren't allowed
To love a love, the same

Down the road
And up the river
Kicking rocks
You feel a shiver
But I'll be around, oh I be there
Just tell me where you're to be found

down and out
on the fringe
clinging to life
fingers like powder
just looking up
but tripping back
shoelaces too tight
they untie themselves
scrambling too quickly
I glimpse darkness
an unknown hole
demands its dinner
I keep tripping
legs like rubber
and its over
I let go

I don't do this for me
I don't do this for you
I don't do this for my friends
I don't even do this for my family

I do this for peace
I do this for the future
I do this for balance
I do this for life

For it helps the signals from being crossed
For it helps hate from spilling into love
For it helps calm the the brewing sea
For it helps the bomb realize that fear is more benficial than death

Things
Change
And
Moods
Slide
And
Shift

When you're
Up
And when you're
Down
Things
Just
Don't
Stop
Changing

The nature of
You
And the ways of
I
The morals
Of
They
And the code
Of
Them
Collide
And when they do
Things
Change

Turn it
Off
Just make it
Stop
Take the time out to
Halt
The madness
The
Frenzy
And
Be
Still
Stay
Detached
And
Subjective
And
­Everything
Will be
Fine

For when the moment
Strikes
And the emotions
Rush in
Everything returns
Comes back
To claim it's
Rightful place
Again

my heart's on fire
with burning desire
ignite the funeral pyre

it's time to go
and you should know
i am aglow

you think i'm sad
but i'm glad
i've mastered the art of deceiving you
or have you perfected the way you're deceived?

Here it comes
And there it goes
The moments gone
Before you'd like to admit
You thought too much
But not enough
You talked too much
Gotta shut your mouth
Some things are best
Left unsaid
Just leave it alone, babe
Please leave me alone

It is midnight
And I sit alone
Not another soul in sight
Contemplating complicating
Things don't need to be this way
Mulling over, tossing over
Things that should really be
What I really want
Is for you to come to me
As you are, just like that
I don't need eyes, don't need to see
Just need to feel you
And your lovely vibration
Touch my hand
Sit, don't stand
As I land
In the place I love the most

When your breathing quickens
And your mind sways
Things just don't seem okay

When you're doomed to your bed
Your body glued to the sheets
You know life is something you can't cheat

Sometimes I think getting sick
Is the Universe's way of making sure
You know you can't run with your *** up, you're a *****

if you couldn't do the time
then why'd you do the crime?
your words and actions never align
i'll see you at the end of time

i saw you looking lonely, tracing lines
stone-faced and cradling a glass of wine
you always said alcohol was evil
i'll see you at the end of time

i will always be there to listen when you want to whine
your mouth goes one way but your body sends other signs
not saying anything new, i'm just covering it with rhyme
i'll see you at the end of time

The wind blew
The trees danced
The sky dreamed
The sun slept

The girl saw
And then sat
She thought of
That one place

Where everything was right
Sweet, kind, bright
The place where
Time seemed slow

And space infinite
Everyone loved her
They all laughed
And told her

Exactly how much
They loved her

But she knew
She was asleep

i know, i know
it doesn't seem so
but your judgement's clouded
just like mine
it's about time
we take inventory
of the things we hold dear
and year after year
they change, transform
learning to move with the waves
instead of hiding in the caves
it's hard but necessary
it allows transcendence
it's about bending

after work, every night
when i get high
i feel like the bottom of the barrel
every night, try as i might
when i get high
i feel like the only one

i don't get enough sleep
break the promises i said i'd keep
i broke out and i ran away
ended up in the same place
can't seem to keep this head on straight
too much work and too much play

so when i go crazy will you hold me?
by the looks of it, i'll be there soon
wonder why it was that you chose me
what you say at midnight doesn't match with noon
but the way your dark hair looks under the moon
it'll keep me coming, i'll be back soon

I'm going to
Keep this
Short, sweet

Who are you?

morphing slowly into something worse
she told me, when i die, she wants to drive the hearse
my brains all jumbled and filled with nonsense
i move my tongue to speak but i'm makin' no sense
things never seemed bleaker and i like it that way
trudging through my life with my minimum pay

my car is broken down, ain't nothin' i can do
she drives me 'round town as my face turns blue
chokin' on the oxygen ****** through a cigarette filter
she tries her best to be the best, supreme guilt-er
payin' no mind with my head out the window
always emphasizing that she ain't no *****

A soul lost makes a good man
Perpetual motion breeds success
Tossing & turning into a handstand
***** to **** but at least I **** less

Never claimed to be your superman
But old Clark has nothing on me
I write for you and my back bends
I've got the touch, I can make you see

You never thought I could
And I never blamed you
The coulds & shoulds & woulds
Blinded you to the truth

So put your faith in my light
As I flick my Bic over a puddle of gasoline
Try & try & try as I might
Off your thoughts, I can't wean you

With the new me and the old you
We can do things we have never before
So hold my hand now, embracing all that's true
And by the end, you'll be asking for more
And more
And more

i was floating above it all
i always got up after i'd fall
staring down at you in your bedroom
had a vision of us, bride and groom
but you were there just bawling your eyes out
and now i'm here whispering what i should shout

it was never really meant to be
i had eyes but i just couldn't see
but looking back it was for the best
at least our collective heart is still beating in our chest

i never realized what a **** i was
always ****** up searching for a "because"
so many fights on the phone at night
could never get the words out so i'd make light
of the simple fact that we were so far down
and this whole time you were in love with a clown

devil on my shoulder
angel on the other side
life is pushing a boulder

the older i get
the bolder i become
just a little dumber & i'm set

oh devil where are you?
i know you've seen what i've seen
my life is dripping like hot glue

if the struggle is so real
then why don't you pick up & leave?
with the empathy you love to steal

so where does it end?
and how will i know when i'm there?
my love, to you, i send
wrapped in an old blanket with care
like the christmas presents you got me
and the kisses you generously spread
i was blind but now i can see
it's time to dine on this old bread
it's time to open my head
it's time to burn the skin i've shed
it's time to crash down like lead

Into wonderment
Pondering permanence
Whether to weather
The cycle of storms
Am I even getting better?

Decreased desire to detach
But still unfastening the hatch
Going somewhere stationary
While still wishing I was withering
Where will I be buried?

And when?

girls who have lost someone
seem to flock to me like seagulls
the deaths in their lives grow within them
and then they attach themselves to me
i was born a healer and it will never go away
a gift and a curse but i'm leaning toward the latter
these days i breathe easy but my lungs still ache
from all the cigarettes i've been killing by the lake

jill's father's heart stopped on him just last December
and brianna's ex went through the windshield in August
now i know i'm just a faintly burning, ******* ember
but this concoction of pain and lust has become a must

Alive when the sun goes down
Nothing to stop me now
Just a king without a crown
And I can help you get found

Since you lost your sense of sight
Everything seems like a blur
Since you lost your will to fight
You asked if I could help, I said "sure"
But I haven't seen your face since then
The only question on my mind is "When?"

I'm not claiming anything mystic
But I've been known to help a soul or two
I'm nothing to be noted, nothing all too prolific
Though I have been known to pick and choose
I'm telling you now, I'm a different man
I'm telling you, now I've got a fool proof plan

all i wanted was to save you but i could never do that
one thing ive learned in my 24 years is only you can do that
if you ever decide to flip the switch ill be right there
ive waiting all this time but i don't mean to scare you
its just i believe in people and the power of their will
until the time is right ill be here in the middle of the night sitting still
making sure my influence or lack thereof serves you right
i don't mean to get too heavy all ive wanted to be was light
streaming through your ***** windows fighting the dark
let me be the strange rock you find walking through the park
sturdy and strong and representative of everything youre not
let me be the cool wind blowing when the sun is just too hot
when you finally realize that your bones are all that youve got
you can find me waiting for you in that ancient parking lot

you're ******* guys on camera now
but i knew you before it was now
can't even stand to think of you now
but now i want you more somehow

never knew you like i thought i did
dreamt of you when i was a kid
didn't think it would blow up like it did
an atom bomb detonated in the cockpit
and now you're acting like you never gave a ****

you said that you'd love me for forever, babe
but we're just photographs left in the sun to fade
when we got together i was just looking for some shade
some relief from the pain, god obviously forbade
now i'm just kind of glad that you never stayed
feeling like i was robbed straight from the cradle

I hear your voice.
It sounds cold.
And hear your steps.
I feel old.
But your words,
they hold me up.
Hold me down.
Let me see.
Allow me
to feel
what is there,
what is here,
and where we are.

Give me light.
Illuminate
the way.
For my eyes
are bad in the dark.
And all around us
night has fallen.
The Sun is just a memory.
The warmth it gives,
just a faint echo.
As I crash
into the bridge
that we used
to get to here.

I dream of
Ten thousand knives
Sharp and poignant
Piercing the veil
Of our bodies
And the whole
Fabric of our
Being

You can hear the
Dripping, dropping
With your ear to the ground
The vibrations emit and emanate
For miles and miles and miles
The deaf can feel it
Even before we know
It is there

Bloodletting was common
Among the tribes of my homeland
Native Americans were in tune
With nature, the whole of it
Down to the
Thick crimson liquid
That flows through
Us all
An endless river
Of red life
Which oxygenates our bodies
Allows us to tap into
Our gifts
Our purposes
Our evils
Our meaning