do you wanna die?
see everyone you've lost,
wash away tears with another good cry?
you walk around
with a monkey on your back
and the chip on your shoulder
has a formed a stubborn crack
that never seems to spread

it makes me cry
and i don't know why
sitting and staring
wishing i was a fly

buzzing around
up, down and down
i can't remember a thing
i can't hear a sound

i just want to take your clothes off
see you lying there in the dim light
i love it when you speak but please
let me just absorb this surreal sight

took you home with no intentions
you drew close, whispering sadness
i told you that i liked you and you were worth it
like nothing i've ever experienced on this earth and
i think i feel something

it's the human dream
the "isn't what it seems"
the bottom, the underneath
the top and the below the beneath

"the future is ******* freaky",
i say to myself as i'm lying and leaking
as the years have gone by
i've done nothing, my oh my
i don't know what i plan on doing
i have no idea where i'm going
so just hold me close
i think i need a stronger rope
but you outwit that thought tonight

my thoughts take me to weird places
weird faces and distorted pictures of distorted places
i've never been and probably won't ever go to
you smile because you know it's the truth
unless we pick up now and forget everything
we're gonna be stuck in this cave with our aching
and that's no way to live, no, not at all
i thought you would be there when i'd fall
but you only ever knew how to play hardball
but please ease up and answer me when i call

feed the beast and straighten the sheets.
feel the beat and wipe the blood with your sleeve.
time drips while you're taking slow sips.
you've got me comfortably sick. no buts, ands or ifs.

my life is flashing on the far wall.
i see all the times i'd get up after i'd fall.
you're still there, but you don't say anything.
i get scared, because i don't know anything.

i have nothing to do
with your issues with your father.
i'm just trying to melt glue
but it's hard when it just leaks further.
if you can find it in you
to let it all go.
i can be with you
and everyone'll know
that we came to stop the show.

your hair is a filter
through which your cigarette smoke flows.
your world is off-kilter,
and where you get off, no one knows.
energy moves through you
and you act like it isn't true.
but with just one touch
you heal all my blacks and blues.

if you couldn't do the time
then why'd you do the crime?
your words and actions never align
i'll see you at the end of time

i saw you looking lonely, tracing lines
stone-faced and cradling a glass of wine
you always said alcohol was evil
i'll see you at the end of time

i will always be there to listen when you want to whine
your mouth goes one way but your body sends other signs
not saying anything new, i'm just covering it with rhyme
i'll see you at the end of time

can't seem to make you mine
cryin' in my bed all the time
cryin' in my head all the time
"I'm cryin'", you said, all the time

nothin' seemed so right
as when we met that night
i could see your face in the dark
you never needed no light

when the facts are shown to be true
the facts are: baby, i love you
but you don't think the same way
blacked out and you're givin' me the blues

dawn to dusk
dust to dust
trust me, trust us
undo these cold handcuffs

you caused a fuss
i missed my bus
they were staring at us
two big oaks, sapped of luck

we've been ******
since the start
this life *****
but play your part
push that cosmic shopping cart

you said you'd climb mountains
but you don't have any boots
i'm a skipping stone
no telling when i'll sink
when the sky is spilled and splashed
it's always harder to think

over the mountain the grass is thicker
but the color is up to interpretation
i know you've only been getting sicker
enamored by ideation
but the facts pack a punch
count your dead and carry on

I don't get a weekend
Cause I'm stackin' bands
Hope I get to see you
Once my flight lands
Been up in the air
For too long
I just wanna touch your hair
And sing you a song
So this ones for you
Out there in shades of blue
I hope you know it's true
When I say I love you

I never really thought
it'd come to this
A war hard fought
And you, I missed
I'm past trying to save face
I can't hide the feelings
I'm here and I hate this place
I'm done with trying and failing
You pop up in my head again and again
The way you move and you talk, baby, I'm a fan
I just don't know when my flight will land
Crawled too far up and you're buried in the sand

floating through the ocean without a care in the world
just a single glance at you told me you were my girl
there was something inside of us that guided us here
as you're sitting on your towel and caressing a beer
i noticed that spark in your eyes had caused quite a stir
your laugh was as cool and as clear as i've ever heard

so meet me by the ocean tonight
when the edge of town feels just right
when the heavy starts to feel a bit light
when the wings you grew finally take flight

the lines on your face tell a story i've never heard
nor seen, blown to smithereens, you're a broken bird
with your wings growing back crookedly
the first time you saw will be the last time you see
i've seen this fifteen times before
the sixteenth won't mean much more
you're awfully late to the game you started yourself

your eyes once looked my way
floating in ***** water, unbathed
thinking i'm headed for a watery grave
because, to your eyes, i'm a slave
getting better at your favorite game

walking ever so slowly
down the sloping, lonely ramps
like no one's ever stared at you
you ignore my signals and signs
i'm calling your name quietly tonight
lookin' like i got into a fight
dancing over too you in the middle of my mind
i'm just trying to wind up finding your old signs
hanging in the doorway of your head
would i be crossing the line if i said
"before i saw you, i was the living dead"?

it really seems like everything was set up
looking up, not giving up
thought it was a waste of my time
until i got the courage to step over the line

swaggering smoothly toward me
trying & choosing to smoothly sway me
though i've seen your kind
i trip into your trap with eyes wide
animated lilies spring up around us
digital wind moves the grass, and i must
say that i think the ground feels familiar
beneath my feet, the soil's loose, you're my killer
i try to find your gaze, but it's lost in the dirt
never believe the words "this won't hurt"
that might be the biggest lie i've ever heard

I never knew you to be so coy
You're making me feel just like a boy
Usually you're all out there and that
Attracted me because I'm not like that
But when you tense up and hold me close
I couldn't be more confident that it's you that I chose

How dare you think I'd be that way
Was it something I do or something I say?
I'm a slave to repetition, I don't know why
It's all a competition, I just want my piece of the pie

the way the light shined through the windshield that night.
it awoke something in me. that unusual, beautiful sight.
i'd never known a girl that made my hands shake.
and then take mine in hers and hold them to make it better.

i like to think maybe it was too much coffee.
maybe i got too high, too drunk. i couldn't see.
but that's just a smaller lie that i tell myself.
it's true when they say "every little bit helps."
in reality though, it was unreal. insane bliss.
but i loved her to maybe too many bits.

i wrote something in a random bar bathroom.
i'd never done that before and it felt good.
it said something vague like "i wish i could make this better."
or stupid like "she blocked me, so now i'm sending her this letter."
whatever it was, it probably isn't there anymore, no.
but i hope it seeped into the walls.

I've been staring at my feet for a long time
Yeah, long time, no see
I've been trying to think of words to describe you
Yeah, but they never come to me
Now that your voice is just an echo
It's time for me to just be
But I'm not sure I'm ready

I'm not gonna wax poetic on you
Like I always used to try to do
Just trying to get the facts straight
I'm a detective but it might be too late
Your footsteps in the sand have faded
I'm trying to catch a ghost with no bait

I've been living right, yeah
But it doesn't really feel that way
You're a monochrome sight, yeah
Got me still wishin' that you stayed
Thinkin' while I'm filling up my ashtray
Johnny don't wanna work, don't wanna play

she said her daddy would beat her down
spent all my time trying to turn her around
when i see her smile fade into a frown
i goof around and turn myself into a clown

clowns feel everything and she knows that
always wondering what's the source of the attack
she's always looking back, always falling flat
but now she knows it's okay, knows i've got her back

she crosses her t's like a crucifix
and dots her i's like nobody's business
she tells me she likes when i pull her hair
those green eyes make for a piercing stare
the kind that make you realize you shouldn't ever care

you were the girl smoking cigarettes outside
the girl with nothing to hide
as you moved toward me
in a way that's clear to see
you knew what you were doing
i knew just from the way you were moving

a predatory creature who craves the blood
of innocent people, you've got them in your hand
with one swift blow you could **** ten men
legend has it they were never the same again
so ease up on me when decide to strike
i don't have the reserves to put up much of a fight

after work, every night
when i get high
i feel like the bottom of the barrel
every night, try as i might
when i get high
i feel like the only one

i don't get enough sleep
break the promises i said i'd keep
i broke out and i ran away
ended up in the same place
can't seem to keep this head on straight
too much work and too much play

so when i go crazy will you hold me?
by the looks of it, i'll be there soon
wonder why it was that you chose me
what you say at midnight doesn't match with noon
but the way your dark hair looks under the moon
it'll keep me coming, i'll be back soon

i wanna do you
might wanna own you
see right through you
i see the one, lone you

in the end we'll both be unhappy
because our childhoods were ******
we can blame and go on for days
but we'll still listen to what our mothers say
can't ever seem to get a grip
we should take a long trip

and when we finally go
it'll be like all those tv shows
happy, happy, sad, happy
i want you to trap me
you're the only one to me
think we can set eachother free

sleeping through the night
is a thing of the past now
i've been fighting the good fight
but these days i'm not sure how
these aches cut deep
reverberating through my spine
the blood continues to seep
what's yours can't be mine

the pain wakes you up
all hours of the night
at sundown, the moon comes up
and i'm finding hope through her light

i was just a kid when i saw the worst things
the worst that i've ever seen
so please excuse me if my voice cracks when i sing
because it's affected me

you don't owe me anything
so take your leave if i'm too much to bear
in my dreams i've seen things
but i've been awake for so long, i don't even care

i know i should be thankful
so i pretend to be
but right now i'm the opposite of grateful
and i'm pretending not to be

fight or die, fight and cry
or cry and die
what you're saying
to play the game their playing
we can't and i won't
but you don't
you don't know
you don't know

refusal to fall into line
gets you on the unemployment line
not following the rules
gets you stripped, killed & ruined
but the turning point is close
this war is what they chose

so kiss me tenderly before i go
when the bombs drop, it's not for show
their aim is to aim fast and fire quick
while your buried deep in the thick of it
keeping up appearances holds no weight anymore
it never did, but now the rich are still rich and the poor beyond poor

your heart is a violent gang
prowling the streets after dark
mine is the bird that once sang
covered in blood & curious marks

when my bird and your gang collide
there isn't an obvious winner
neither regard the rules or, by them, abide
both will eat your family for dinner

jet black boots and thoughts to match
your legs are barbed-wire baseball bats
i never asked if there was a catch
and now my legs are scared little cats

but inside me sleeps a bomb
it doesn't tick, but it's always rolling
like a panzer tank emitting a sad song
i press a button and we both go strolling
everything is nothing but everything is showing

even when your skin is bleeding and melting
i'll be there to hold you while you're crying
as the sky is lit ablaze and the atmosphere caves in
you and i will watch, so helpless, as we repent for our sins
never thought, never hoped it would come to this
but when we should've been fighting you just gave me a kiss

the bomb doesn't know love
it doesn't want to
the powers that be don't believe in hugs
you know it's true
everything will be gone, from you to your bed bugs
but don't be blue

when heads get hot an the buttons are pressed
all will disintegrate, there will be nothing left
they say their trying their best but
underneath they really couldn't give a ****
if a few die here and there, no one cares
it's not them, so it's not their cross to bear

"i wanna stare at the tears, how they watered yr years..."*

how you laid there and smiled up
up at me, smiling too, while your heart was shut
i didn't get it at first, but now i do
your words trembled and were untrue
never thought i'd live to say i loved
but i did, and now i see from above

**** everything, lets just listen and lay here
stop talking and listen to the sobs in the cheers
you used to jump on me so fast
but all that fun never lasts
then i saw you walking with him
and my light grew dim

you never made yourself out to be
what you really are, just like me
and i hate that, i really resent it
i can't take that, i couldn't recommend it
the reasons why we were washed ashore together
are getting clearer as the maybes turn to nevers

the backs of your legs
are white as the clouds
the little curl at the corner of your mouth begs
the words you say are soft, yet loud
and now i'm cracking like an egg

a stupid sucker sailing disgraced seas
finishing every sentence with thank you's and pleases
i never knew i'd grow to be so **** meek
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next week

troubles and failures are piled and bunched
eating stale potato chips for breakfast and lunch
i feel like i'll never be able to get up
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next month

crank open the hatch and pour down the beer
never got the concept of saying "cheers"
my muddled thoughts are always clouded by useless fears
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next year

Hailey
The hail is dropping inside you
Barely
Showing through your eyes too
I can't see it in your eyes*

your eyes are deceiving
never showing what you're thinking
mysterious enigmas aren't my forte
though, that game, i've learned to play
i can't see you when i need you
so i just hit the bar to sit with you

and when you complain
with you, i retrace all your rain
tell you to brush it off and run
and to never mind that ****
but we're always in a hole
maybe together we can grow
maybe together we can glow
maybe together we can go
maybe together we can
maybe together we can
maybe together

walking through hell with steady legs & a straight face
then i laugh my face off when i realize it's my favorite place
nothing you say can stop me from becoming what i'm going to
been losing forever but i don't mind winning every now and then too
playing the underdog is something i'm quite used to
just like i was everyday when i was kissing you

so baby, just maybe this wasn't a mistake
maybe this grave you dug turns into a lake
a lake of fire and lake of heartache
headaches, stomach aches, it all molded & shaped
who i am but i'm ready to pop like a grape now

she's the sky when it's purple and red and pink
she's what i think about when i cant think
just hope that she sees me and she hears this
always thinking i'm owed one last kiss
always hoping you'll give a ****

i know i could've helped you when you needed it
when i was in that black cave, my torch you lit
i should've been there when your tide shifted
should've focused less on getting lifted
you really showed me what i was looking for
you made me feel dumb rich when i was dirt poor

when things never go right
it's easy to give up the fight
and you're in the hole with no way out
taking punch after punch in this constant bout
you can sharpen your nails and try to climb up
but they'll break, because you're brittle and you don't really give a ****

you make me feel better than i've ever felt
but you'd be better off with almost anyone else
but you'd be better off just looking out for yourself
cause lately i've been thinkin' 'bout my neck and a belt

it was 5am and i detected distress
from your heart you emitted nothing less
you fell to the floor and looked into my eyes
i started to cry as you said your goodbyes
you told me to batten down my hatches & **** it up
but what you said left me with scratches & had me all ****** up

i wanna hop in the convertible
and drive down to the beach with you
what we had didn't seem that durable
but when we're getting high in the sun it's true
what they say that when you meet someone
and synapses start firing, you feel the weight
you can't even help but have fun
no matter what our ultimate fate

i could suffocate you with clever wordplay
and say that i'd pay to lay with you for another day
but i'm past the point of the paradox and price
in that skirt that first night you looked so nice
i couldn't imagine what i'd done to see that
your walk is like a bash to the skull with a baseball bat

so lay me down and cut me open
let you see inside while you still can
baby, lets just vibe in the moment
baby, you eliminate all my torment

you're just a blip on my screen now
double-tapping your pics and asking myself how
how could things have just snowballed
i just wish you would've picked up when i called
now my heart is filled up and tapped out
but, my death, you won't know about

you're ******* guys on camera now
but i knew you before it was now
can't even stand to think of you now
but now i want you more somehow

never knew you like i thought i did
dreamt of you when i was a kid
didn't think it would blow up like it did
an atom bomb detonated in the cockpit
and now you're acting like you never gave a ****

you said that you'd love me for forever, babe
but we're just photographs left in the sun to fade
when we got together i was just looking for some shade
some relief from the pain, god obviously forbade
now i'm just kind of glad that you never stayed
feeling like i was robbed straight from the cradle

i was floating above it all
i always got up after i'd fall
staring down at you in your bedroom
had a vision of us, bride and groom
but you were there just bawling your eyes out
and now i'm here whispering what i should shout

it was never really meant to be
i had eyes but i just couldn't see
but looking back it was for the best
at least our collective heart is still beating in our chest

i never realized what a **** i was
always ****** up searching for a "because"
so many fights on the phone at night
could never get the words out so i'd make light
of the simple fact that we were so far down
and this whole time you were in love with a clown

i can really see the altar now
draped in black, got me wondering how
i could trip for so long and still stay on my feet
forever ago i could've sworn i was beat
the clouds of ash blocked out the sun and filled up my ears
couldn't see a ******* thing because of all the ******* tears

i made the assumption and i was wrong
thought i was weaker than you all along
but now i'm growing and rising up
kiss me slowly as i sit here and pour up

i've spent ******* weeks
looking through the new hole
in my ******* head
like finding a new mole
on the skin you thought you shed
like making your downfall your goal

i wanted you forever and ever, babe
going to parties and acting like nothing mattered
i never wanted you never, babe
my love for you was fully formed but now it's shattered

she told me that the knife was there
but i didn't believe her
she told me that she was scared
but i couldn't hear her
she told me i was emotionally impaired
and then i couldn't take her seriously

she doesn't do drugs but she's addicted to the drama
we went out that night and i acted like i wanna
take her in my arms and never let her go
but what i felt inside was less than what i showed
acting like a fool and emitting an awkward laugh
how long before she realizes that i'm trash?

we both have blaring positives and negatives
glaring at the tv screen together and what gives?
is this all that it's about?
until you get mad and start to shout?
smooth sailing for a little bit
and then you go and **** up all of it

i remember when things were fresh and new
back when it was only about me & you
we lived our lives without looking back
but we were vulnerable to every single attack
no one understood what we were about
and it was okay cuz we were on our own cloud

keep looking back and fall flat on your face
i grew eyes on the back of my head just for this place
knew someday it would come to this
but before now i never gave a ****

you are the mist, a ghost, and an illusion
the queen of all of my insecure confusion
all i asked was that you take my hand and breathe
breathe with me and then maybe you'll be able to see
look at this monster hanging above my head
from the ceiling it watches me in my bed

You don't know me like you think you do
Want you to get to see the light shine through
I'm not really as heartless
I'm not really as soulless
As you've been thinking

My words only mean as much as you take them for
So believe me, or don't, just please don't be sore
I begged you to stay that day
And then I threw you away
My life got so ******
Way beyond a pity
And I've got no one to blame but me
I'm a different man just trying to make you see

I'm gonna keep spilling this to you
Like milk gone sour but maybe it's glue
I'm not saying that I need you
Just would rather not live without you
You raised my bar
And now I'm up so far
But when I'm driving my car
I see your face, it's so far
Your face is so far
So far
So
far

"I'll come back in the morning,"

I know you've heard that before
I know you don't wanna hear it no more
Acting like talking to me is a chore

And I get it, I really do
But I'm making this promise to you
I'll always be there when you're blue

I feel so basic saying it
But what we have between has always been lit
So close your eyes now, relax with me and take this hit

I'm trying to make it any way I can
I just need you to be there when I land
After I'm done building these castles out of nothing but sand

she stayed by me
she fought for me
she got high with me
in the convertible with me
looking at the stars, you'll see

I've been tripping on myself for too long
Time to get up and start new again
I always knew that I was strong
To her, all my love, I send
I know I was a **** the whole time
And you moved to New Jersey for that job
I acted selfishly and tried to reason my crime
But now what I did and I promise I'll stop

I've been tripping ******* my old girl
Trying to convince her to give me another whirl
But this life really isn't no video game
And she's dead convinced that I'm ******* lame
So now I'm climbing out of this dark hole
Running low so I shovel on some more coal
She's living her own life now
And she's got me wondering how

But it doesn't matter to her
She don't think about me
I don't matter to her
But she still matters to me