you're ******* guys on camera now
but i knew you before it was now
can't even stand to think of you now
but now i want you more somehow

never knew you like i thought i did
dreamt of you when i was a kid
didn't think it would blow up like it did
an atom bomb detonated in the cockpit
and now you're acting like you never gave a ****

you said that you'd love me for forever, babe
but we're just photographs left in the sun to fade
when we got together i was just looking for some shade
some relief from the pain, god obviously forbade
now i'm just kind of glad that you never stayed
feeling like i was robbed straight from the cradle

i was floating above it all
i always got up after i'd fall
staring down at you in your bedroom
had a vision of us, bride and groom
but you were there just bawling your eyes out
and now i'm here whispering what i should shout

it was never really meant to be
i had eyes but i just couldn't see
but looking back it was for the best
at least our collective heart is still beating in our chest

i never realized what a **** i was
always ****** up searching for a "because"
so many fights on the phone at night
could never get the words out so i'd make light
of the simple fact that we were so far down
and this whole time you were in love with a clown

i can really see the altar now
draped in black, got me wondering how
i could trip for so long and still stay on my feet
forever ago i could've sworn i was beat
the clouds of ash blocked out the sun and filled up my ears
couldn't see a ******* thing because of all the ******* tears

i made the assumption and i was wrong
thought i was weaker than you all along
but now i'm growing and rising up
kiss me slowly as i sit here and pour up

i've spent ******* weeks
looking through the new hole
in my ******* head
like finding a new mole
on the skin you thought you shed
like making your downfall your goal

i wanted you forever and ever, babe
going to parties and acting like nothing mattered
i never wanted you never, babe
my love for you was fully formed but now it's shattered

she told me that the knife was there
but i didn't believe her
she told me that she was scared
but i couldn't hear her
she told me i was emotionally impaired
and then i couldn't take her seriously

she doesn't do drugs but she's addicted to the drama
we went out that night and i acted like i wanna
take her in my arms and never let her go
but what i felt inside was less than what i showed
acting like a fool and emitting an awkward laugh
how long before she realizes that i'm trash?

we both have blaring positives and negatives
glaring at the tv screen together and what gives?
is this all that it's about?
until you get mad and start to shout?
smooth sailing for a little bit
and then you go and **** up all of it

i remember when things were fresh and new
back when it was only about me & you
we lived our lives without looking back
but we were vulnerable to every single attack
no one understood what we were about
and it was okay cuz we were on our own cloud

keep looking back and fall flat on your face
i grew eyes on the back of my head just for this place
knew someday it would come to this
but before now i never gave a ****

you are the mist, a ghost, and an illusion
the queen of all of my insecure confusion
all i asked was that you take my hand and breathe
breathe with me and then maybe you'll be able to see
look at this monster hanging above my head
from the ceiling it watches me in my bed

You don't know me like you think you do
Want you to get to see the light shine through
I'm not really as heartless
I'm not really as soulless
As you've been thinking

My words only mean as much as you take them for
So believe me, or don't, just please don't be sore
I begged you to stay that day
And then I threw you away
My life got so ******
Way beyond a pity
And I've got no one to blame but me
I'm a different man just trying to make you see

I'm gonna keep spilling this to you
Like milk gone sour but maybe it's glue
I'm not saying that I need you
Just would rather not live without you
You raised my bar
And now I'm up so far
But when I'm driving my car
I see your face, it's so far
Your face is so far
So far
So
far