"I'll come back in the morning,"

I know you've heard that before
I know you don't wanna hear it no more
Acting like talking to me is a chore

And I get it, I really do
But I'm making this promise to you
I'll always be there when you're blue

I feel so basic saying it
But what we have between has always been lit
So close your eyes now, relax with me and take this hit

I'm trying to make it any way I can
I just need you to be there when I land
After I'm done building these castles out of nothing but sand

she stayed by me
she fought for me
she got high with me
in the convertible with me
looking at the stars, you'll see

I've been tripping on myself for too long
Time to get up and start new again
I always knew that I was strong
To her, all my love, I send
I know I was a **** the whole time
And you moved to New Jersey for that job
I acted selfishly and tried to reason my crime
But now what I did and I promise I'll stop

I've been tripping ******* my old girl
Trying to convince her to give me another whirl
But this life really isn't no video game
And she's dead convinced that I'm ******* lame
So now I'm climbing out of this dark hole
Running low so I shovel on some more coal
She's living her own life now
And she's got me wondering how

But it doesn't matter to her
She don't think about me
I don't matter to her
But she still matters to me

i know im not the type
to go with all the hype
moving against the tide
while everyone tries to hide
i wear my scars on my face
never smile while i keep my pace

i know im 24 and up until now i haven't been much
squandering and wallowing and wasting my days and such
but im working every day on who i want to be
and i ****** it up cuz she loved me for me
i just hope she reads this before i start charging a fee

just way too young to be feeling this way
like i made a deal with the devil and forever i'll pay
a curse and a blessing is what this all seems to be
a left plus a right, an up plus a down all adds up to me
if picking up the pieces was easy then everyone would
and i used to think i was trying as hard as i could
but now i realize that i have so much more to do
i just wish everyone could see the world from my shoes
that would shatter the mystery and explain why im like this
before i didn't care because i always had your kiss
and then you were gone and crossed off of my list
if anything, this is to show you that i really gave a ****

let me know, before you go
keep it real and seal the deal
sign it with blood while you press my face in the mud

i hate everything
that symbolizes life
flowers, the sun & breathing
i trace my wrist with a knife

when i'm not at work
i'm high all the time
i've become a different person
in the space between the reason & the rhyme

i'm wasting myself
without going all the way
for my constant self-indulgence
out my ***, i'm expected to pay

i'm degenerating & withering
the person i was would hate who i am
forever stumbling down this existential staircase
everything i say, do & believe is a sham

theres no real semblance of hope left
and i think i'm okay with that
in the end, it doesn't really matter
whether i'm reprimanded or patted on the back

cheers to cheers-ing to the future
***** & diet soda in hand
i'm undoing the suture
i know i'll be okay wherever i land

you don't have to live
you can die if you want to
with nothing left to give
you can die if you want to
when you always wonder if...
you can die if you really wanted to

things seemed so bright
as a child in the warm sun
my parents would fight
but that didn't stop me having fun
things got so bad
that i no longer cared
i used to be so mad
but now they're out of my hair

i'm okay now
walking this strange line
but i still think of how
they thought everything was fine
as i crumbled beneath
the covers each & every night
i'd hang a dead wreath
on the decaying door of my mind

girls who have lost someone
seem to flock to me like seagulls
the deaths in their lives grow within them
and then they attach themselves to me
i was born a healer and it will never go away
a gift and a curse but i'm leaning toward the latter
these days i breathe easy but my lungs still ache
from all the cigarettes i've been killing by the lake

jill's father's heart stopped on him just last December
and brianna's ex went through the windshield in August
now i know i'm just a faintly burning, ******* ember
but this concoction of pain and lust has become a must