Life is just a thing that we endure
All the hurt, the pain, the deception, the insanity
Is all just a test, it's just a stage
A phase, at the end of which, we emerge
Always victorious, yes, we reached the horizon
But always also, we carry what we've seen, we've heard
We wear what we've felt
These things become our badges
They become our signature
They embed themselves in our very conscience
And no one can ever take them away
Good or bad, always, always here to stay

Light filters through frosted windows
It illuminates only portions, a mere subtotal
Of the whole
My mind no longer spins
Uncontrolled
It just eases on
One thought
To the next

No particular worry
Well, the worries are there
They're
Here
But not all over the place
Which I'm thankful for
No more illogical
Unreasonable thinking
On a day
Like today

No work
No one in particular to talk to
No obligations
It's just time
Time to relax
And I don't care
Which I guess is a problem
In and of itself
But
Right now
It feels right
Just to write
And think
And write
Whatever surfaces
Shows up on the screen in front of me
Glowing unapologetically
Just like I like it

There's something to say
Well, a lot to say
About the clarity
One feels
After you've moved on
From someone
Or something
What have you
However
Right now
I don't think I'm in the right mind space
To accurately describe the feelings
Going through
My head
My heart
My lungs and
My body
Right now

So
I'll just stop now

As the days pass
The nights drown in the sea
The wind always picks up
Just as you see me
I tend to have that effect
It's just a gift, I guess
But whenever I give up
You're never ready to let
To let it go

So as I sit here by the window
Thinking of you and your breath
And those times we sat side by side
In your, car going so fast
The wind picked up just as it always does
Your hair dancing in time with it
And your mouth humming
To the tunes on the radio

Why it has to be this way
Never has made so much sense
No it's never been clear
This year
Not really anything has
But it's a build up
Just a slow accumulation
To the ******
And the burst of the joys
Yet to come
I suppose

Run
Run
Run
Away
Jump
Jump
Jump
Out of your body
Let
Let
Let
It go
Don't
Don't
Don't
Think twice
Never
Never
Never
Regret
Just
Just
Just
Breathe

Pulling up to the party
My car hums and dies
Just like as soon as we started
We were done
But even with all these people
Popping bottles and beer cans
I can't help but think of
How much I just wish you were here

One day you tell me that we can't talk
No more, no more
I am just asking you to go for a walk
But you said no more
I just don't get it, well maybe I do all too well
But without me there then I fear you will sell
Your heart, your raw beating heart
I just don't want you to sell yourself short

Now I know the truth is that you lie and deceive
Both your boyfriend and I are upset
But just know that I will be there when he leaves
Because you know he'll leave, so you say
So you keep talking to me
Just saving for that day
And you say that you love him
But you want me to stay
Lying to your friends
That you don't love me
But when ends reach the end
You know you do

I wanna be the first to know
I wanna be your number one
When your skies are grey
I wanna be your Sun
I wanna be the Sun

When I first met you
I knew you were different
Nobody thought it was true
But I had my sights set on you
With those big brown eyes
You'd look through your hair at me
Whenever I'd touch you
I could suddenly see
I could suddenly see again

Everyone loved to talk
About what they saw in us
I don't know what they thought
But behind us, always trailed a fuss
Bobbing heads and flapping mouths
Like they knew something that we didn't
We would just laugh it off
Those little hearty bouts
Oh how I miss your laugh