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John Sep 2013
so there's this girl that i met
about a month ago
yeah, maybe a little over a month ago
might be two months, for all i know
but i digress

my point is that this girl
she likes me
she likes me a lot
and i like her
i like her a little more than a lot
maybe a little too much more

but there's this problem
it's been around since the first words we spoke
and it's been clouding my brain
for as long as i know her
and i just can't seem to let it go
and i'm usually good at that sort of thing
but i guess everyone gets a little
broken
sometimes

see, this girl
i work with her
we talk for hours
and hours
while we're serving customers
and trying to hide the fact
that we might talk a little too much
from the other employees
and the management
because that's bad for business, you see
customers can't take notice
or even have the slightest cause
even for a moment
to wonder
or think
that anything may
or may not
be going on behind the scenes
between the people
that serve them behind the counters
at the movie theatre
it's just unprofessional
people have gotten fired for this
lots of them, so i hear

we have a problem with that though
see, when we're around eachother
it's hard to act normal
per say
it's hard to seem unassuming
when the person you want
is right there
only inches away from you
it's hard to fake something
that's just so real
so we don't do that good of a job
to say the least
of keeping what we are
what we have going
on the down low
so we constantly get things like
"you two better be dating"
and
"you two act so much like a couple"
and, the classic
"aww, you guys are so cute together"
i shrug it off for the most part
or i just smile
just a bit (because i can't help it)
and say something like
"no, we're just friends"
or
"no, it's not like that"

but it is
it is like that
i want it to be like that
i wish and i hope that it could be like that

but going back to what i was saying
that little problem that's been shadowing me
and prodding at my thoughts and my dreams
is that
she already has a boy
John Sep 2013
You talk about forever
Like it's a fleeting moment
In the grand scheme of things
I suppose that's just what it is
But, in the end
On the small scale
That is us
It's
Everything

Forget cosmic wonder
And all it is and everything else
Forget the stars and the Sun and the Moon
Because they don't belong to us
The stars owe us nothing
Not a thing
And we owe them it all
John Sep 2013
Eve
This is just to
express
How I lose all my
******* bearings
Around you, I can't rest
When I have this
bridge to cross
Because I've got
my own cross
To bear in this blaring heat
And the blistering cold
and it means nothing
When at the ends
of the deserts
And at the final field filled
up with snow
The wind and
the heat and
the cold and
my weary feet
Don't count
for anything
No they
don't

Oh little girl
You're so
naive
My stomach
turns
In time
with the eve
Of the day
I'll be with you
John Aug 2013
I walked slowly out to the parking lot
You were waiting there with your long black hair
Blowing in the wind like the leaves on the trees above
The way you look at me, babe, it's not fair
Blinking silently against a black backdrop
It's getting colder now, I can see it on your skin
All I know when I look deep into you
Is that I can never, ever really win

It's like I can't stop thinking
Of you and your hips
The way they sway so effortlessly
And how you hold your cup, taking only sips
And the way you use your lips
The way you use your lips

We took a drive in your baby blue car
Down to the river where we could talk
The water knew what we were saying
And to it, it really was no big shock
That things were tumbling down
Getting ****** into a lover's black hole
Falling ******* the *****, rocky ground
We both knew it would end this way
But we took our chances, decided to play
John Aug 2013
My mind is clear
On this hazy morning
As I hear
The sounds of car horns blaring
I don't know what it is
About a brand new day-ay
I don't give a ****
What you're saying
About me going my way

Because I've got no regrets
Everything that happens, happens for the best
Even when the skies close back up
I still won't really give a ****
Because this
This is my day
And this, this, this
Won't turn my heart, heart gray

It's still early in the morning
I'm on my way to work
When it starts pouring
Rain and desperate texts
From you to me on this day
I don't know why but I still smile
You used to know how to play, play me
But I will never run your mile
No I won't give in to your Judas Kiss
Anymore
No more
No, no more

You used to have the power to turn my stomach
With just one look from your big brown eyes
Now your voice is something I can't stomach
No matter how much, how hard I try
But it doesn't matter
It doesn't add up in the big picture
Because now I'd rather
Just make myself richer
In heart and in mind
Without you
And I don't mind
That I'm never going to be with you
No I'm never going to be with you
John Aug 2013
You are such a sweet girl
And I've tried my hand
Peeked through the holes in your heart
After a while, I could no longer stand
Had you visiting my thoughts more and more
About four dreams a week, and you're in four

It's not fair
You're always there
No, it's not fair
With your long black hair
I just want peace and no more wishing
Just wonder when I can stop fishing

You've got a boy
I've known from the start
But when we started working
Think I got too close to your heart
Talking to me every day like you wanna be with me
Touching me, taunting me, like you think we could be
But then you do a 180 and disappear
You're doing okay, the last I hear
John Aug 2013
Words in the air
Like slow-shifting clouds
This cross that I bear
Is growing too loud
Now, I don't know what to do
Floating ceaselessly
My fabric's come unglued

Now, oh now
Now I wanna run away
How, oh how
Can I just run away?
Now, oh now,
I want to ******* run away
How, oh how
Can I just ******* run away?

Time passes by without a second thought
My mind analyzes only what I can see
Feelings disappear without a single battle fought
Why can't we just be we and just be free?
No, because it's just never that easy
Because if it was, then life would be pretty ******

Why, oh why
Can't things just be breezy?
Now, oh now
I wish things were easy
Why, oh why
Do I need to be pleasing?
Now, oh now
I'm just searching for meaning
Now, oh now
I'm just searching for meaning
I'm just searching for meaning
Just searching for meaning
For meaning in this mess
Meaning in this mess
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