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John Stevens Sep 2015
Three little girls
Running in a row.
One falls down
OW! OW! OH!
Two little girls
Help her up
Three little girls
Yelling. "Fun. Fun. Fun. "
Mickey Ds
09-30-15
  Sep 2015 John Stevens
Nat Lipstadt
Oliver Sacks passed away today, August 30, 2015
He asked the best questions
and never stopped seeking ever better answers.
Perhaps now, richer, he has them,
but this world is surely a poorer place indeed.
~~~

"And now, weak, short of breath, my once-firm muscles melted away by cancer, I find my thoughts, increasingly, not on the supernatural or spiritual, but on what is meant by living a good and worthwhile life — achieving a sense of peace within oneself. I find my thoughts drifting to the Sabbath, the day of rest, the seventh day of the week, and perhaps the seventh day of one’s life as well, when one can feel that one’s work is done, and one may, in good conscience, rest."

Oliver Sacks


I hope you read the entire essay at the URL below.

~~~
humble humble,
mine own own muse~jester
self-mocking, calling me out,
giving oneself the *******,
who you?

indeed,
you, the greater fool,
utilizing, thriving on self-contemptuous thoughts,
you are no Oliver Sacks,
what are you doing
messing with his essaying?

go back to being
a standardized human,
spilling the detritus of thine mortal coil,
that employs you as a full time slave,
a scab-working seven day affair,
is that not sufficient?

you,
in your sixth
decaying-decades-day,
forsook the ancient Sabbath long ago,
keeping it for ****** rest,
cheaply tired from the liturgy of
straitjacketing of do's and dont's
of excruciating detail,
that put only distance tween
you and your
essential spiritual oils

Sacks invades directly my eye's clouded storage,
now, two brains cross-wired,
histories,
his story, my story,
all too familiar,
almost indecently similar

here I am,
nearer my god than thee,
on this Sabbath day
of my ancestors,
(a hand-me-down gift to the world's conceptual heritage sites)
working hard,
as an everyday day laborer,
looking for work on street corners,
busy busy searching my conscience,
angel wrestling,
sacked
by questions -

when is
one’s work done,
and when,
when may one,
in good conscience,
rest?


this poetry writing, is it not work too?

work,
a violation of the Sabbath commandment,^
even if it is of no great matter,
for by now,
this lifelong dialogue internal
this contradictory poetic dialectic
which has yet to justify the emotive words
final or finished,
is a seven days of the week affair,
undeserving of a day of rest

~~~

as I essay out this Sabbath working poem,
in a place of beauteous, natural calm,
it's so easy to agree with the
passing schooners,
all whispering,
via genteel southern breezes,

later, not sooner,

no need to decide, let it ride,
answers will come,
perhaps, all on their own,
perhaps, all on that day
when you're within
hailing distance,
in a flailing,
failing-voice-recognition way,
of the shores of the
Isle of Surcease

the answers will come
contemporaneously,
when you have leave to
exorcise from your calendar,
Siri's spouting, inexorable,
pop-up perpetual reminder
that today's first thing
on your
to do list is:

"live a life  of
good and worthwhile"
**

for then,
you will have all the answers
for the Oliver questions
that need perpetual asking



Finis
~~~

^ "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates."
~~~

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/16/opinion/sunday/ol­iver-sacks-sabbath.html

~~~
Aug. 15, 2015
Shelter Island
for Ursula,
who I think of whenever
I read this
John Stevens Sep 2015
"Grandpa! I think I found a nake hole."

Anything in it?

"I think it was a mouth."

One of those little four legged guys?

"Yeth!"

And so it goes.  Four mithing.
Sith going on sithteen.
John Stevens Aug 2015
Oct 13

A new chapter began in the Life of Tony Boy in October. His Daddy got out of prison after spending over three and a half years away. Tony was 2 months old when it all began. We kept a picture of his Daddy in the living room and talked to Tony when he ask about the picture. His Daddy and I kept in touch by letter, but that is a different story.
A couple a days after Tony’s Daddy, (TD), arrived back in Twin Falls, we met at the City Park. We were on the Court House side and TD was on the other side. We started walking toward each other and when Tony was about 100 feet away from his Daddy, he started to run. Tony ran and jumped into his arms. I never saw any thing like that before and did not imagine that would be their first meeting. I must admit that there were tears in my eyes. It was as if they had been apart for just a few days.
For the next three hours, the two of them ran, jumped, wrestled around, and just had a lot of fun. It was really great to see them going hand in hand around the park. Me… I sat in my chair and took it easy for a change. If you have read some of the other stuff about Tony you know we spent a lot of time at the park. Several times I heard Tony say, “I love you Daddy.” I found out later that TD got rather misty but he kept it inside. I guess that comes from trying to be tough for the last few years. He did get stabbed 5 times in Boise and was moved to Orofino after that. But that is another story.
It was a little awkward for TD the first few times. How do you handle a rambunctious 4 year old when you haven’t had the experience before? TD was a quick learner. He observed how I handled Tony and used the same methods.

So for a month now we get together several times a week. Sunday we went to lunch at Addison West. Tony was wired and wanted to play. A couple sitting in an adjacent booth apparently observed the goings on and had a bit of fun with Tony when they left. The lady started to leave and turned around and said, “You sure are a cute little boy.” Well I can’t argue with that.
I will add more to this as time goes by. Tony is sitting here wanting to go to the park. Soooo,,, a guess it is time to GO TO THE PARK.

I’m back. Did not make it to the park. Low blood sugar hit and I had to cope with that for a while. We did get to the grocery store later. I was thinking about second chances. In conversation with people over the years I have said, “what is done is done and there is not anything you can do to change it. It is what you do with today and the tomorrows…. that will make a difference.” I wrote a piece called “Jail (Redemption)” about the time TD was in jail. Some young folk I have talked to are rather surprised to find old dudes like me can think this way. It all boils down to this. I am just a beggar trying to show another beggar where to find the Bread of Life. I would be in deep yogurt if it were not for redemption.
John Stevens Aug 2015
05-15-2011
Since my grandson was little, he is now 6, and we would read a book or two at bed time, I would kiss him goodnight and say, “Love you forever and always Tony Boy.  See you in the morning.”  Last night when the books were read, the evening was winding down and quietness had settled in… I kissed him and said, “love you forever and always Tony Boy.”   This time Tony for the first time said, “I love it when you say that grandpa.”  It took me back for a moment.

I have been thinking that must be the way it is with our Heavenly Father.  He tells us over and over He loves us “forever and always”.  Some day we will tell Him “I love it when you say that Father.”  It confirms the bond between us and Him.  Unbreakable bond that is forever and always.  There is no greater love.

“See you in the morning” has always had two meanings for me.  For Tony it is 8 to 9 hours later.  For me it is also the New Day, New Morning when we wake up in the presence of Jesus.   Some day Tony will understand the second meaning.  The most important meaning.  That will be a glorious morning indeed.  The bond of love is never broken.  It lasts forever.
John Stevens Jul 2015
©5-24-06

The canvas of a child’s mind
Is blank when he is born.

The mind of a child is like a garden in the spring time
It is planted, watered, and nurtured , and over time grows
into something beautiful.

Many times I just need to stop what I am doing and listen… listen to what the “still small voice” is trying to tell me. Taking time to smell the lilacs, so to speak, to soak in the beauty around us, to reflect that God really is God and not a figment of our imagination, is what life should be about. Turning off the things that interrupt our mind (tv/radio/neighbor/spouse ;-) , etc) and listening and seeing the simple joys in life, gives me peace for today and hope that tomorrow will be even better.

My joy these days is in a 24 pound little boy who entered this world 13+ months ago not under the best of circumstance but loved just the same. I would not trade him for all the money in the world. He is the light of my life. When I come home very tired, it would be easy to do what I want… rest, but the look on his little face when I come into the room somehow sparks a little more energy in me to pick him up. He lays his head on my shoulder, gives a sigh, and all is well with the world. Actually, all is well for both of us. Sort of like laying your head on the Lord’s shoulder.

In the spring time, gardens are planted and begin to grow. For him, (my grandson) his mind is like a garden. The seeds planted in his early life, the time taken to talk and play with him, watered with love and compassion, will grow and develop and hopefully the beauty of his garden will crowd out the **** seeds that the winds of the world blow in from time to time. Love always triumphs over hate if you never give up.

I know many kids never had a chance at an early age to grow and bloom into a beautiful garden. Years later, **** killer (God) was applied, the soil tilled by His hand, revealed the potential of their garden. The gardens they grow are beautiful in the eyes of our Lord and Savior. When someones garden is getting a little dry, we need to help water their garden with love, compassion and understanding from our abundance. The small things that don’t cost much but have a big impact on the growing beauty of a garden are important not only to children but to big people as well.

Is there any better way to spend our time than to nurture a growing garden? I think not. I may not live to see my grandson’s garden bloom and produce great things as he becomes a man but I know God will honor the planting and watering I do beyond the day He takes me home.

7-1-08
Time has passed and my grandson is now three. What an age this is. New learning, every day, is taking place and I am a part of it. It is a great honor to help plant God’s love in this little boy. Now that I am retired we are out and about many days of the week. We are still chasing squirrels, watching for fire engines and high flying jets, and meeting new people in the park. Some of the new people are pretty nice and Tony knows which ones they are.

A reporter followed us around last October during one of our many visits to the City Park in Twin Falls Idaho. She did a great job of writing a story about nothing of importance, but it was and is important to Tony since it was about him.  “Walk in the Park” search in the Times News will get:


http://m.magicvalley.com/lifestyles/relationships-and-special-occasions/taking-a-walk-in-the-park-with-grandpa/articlecef84065-d992-5a06-a1c8-631123517f4e.html?mobiletouch=tr­ue

7-5-08
Well it is the day after turning 65, my feet hurt after a morning of “walking in the park”. Tony rode his trike and I got some needed exercise. Today is a great day. Yesterday I was not feeling all that chipper and may, yes just may, have been a little grouchy. It happens when my glucose level gets too high. I made a comment to one of the family who brought home a burger in a paper sack… “you got any grouch pills in there?” A few minutes later I heard Tony say to someone, “we need to find Grandpa’s grouch pills.” It cracked me up and we did not need to find the “grouch pills”. The little guy has a way of shining a light in the darkness and brightening up the whole room. I imagine God is laughing and I suppose God finds our “grouchiness” to be rather silly. Actually it is rather pointless, non-productive, and self-centered activity that gains nothing… oh where did I leave those grouch pills. Aaah yes, thank you Father. I needed that. When you can’t find your grouch pills just look up and se Jesus.


04-03-2021
Time has passed... can you imagine that?... and I’m still here at 77.  Tony is now 16. He has great plans on what he wants to do. May it happen. He will be driving the old man now.

Probably 6 years ago October 31 we were in McDonald’s. Tony and Lucy were dressed for the occasion. The lady behind the counter asked if I was going to dress for Halloween. I told her I was already dressed... that I was going as a grumpy old man.  Been practicing all year. She just laughed.  See what I have to put up with???
Some stuff I had laying around
If you need some grouch pills the source is unlimited.
John Stevens Jul 2015
Jan 20, 2009
Today I am starting a journal for Tony and his grandfather (me).  We replaced a right head lamp in the LHS this afternoon.  Tony held the socket wrench after I removed the assembly and replaced the bulb. He found a bolt on the left side on which the wrench fit.  When the assembly was in place, Tony got to run the wrench and tighten the bolts.  He came in and said, “I fixed your head light Nennie.” Nennie is his aunt and since she drives the car a lot, the car must be her’s.  He was so proud he could help.  He listened well and followed instruction very well. He got in the drivers seat and turned on the lights. Shifted from lower to upper beam… many times.  It worked!   Did it take longer to get the job done? Yes but the rewards will last for a very long time.

It looks like I have not done very well in keeping up this “journal”.

July 2009.
I was tired this day and my grandson (4) talked me into sitting on the swing while he played in his dirt pile. Dirt is like gold to him. After a while he said, “Grandpa. Can we go to the park today?” I told him I would think about it. A few minutes later he asked, “Have you thought about it Grandpa?” I answered, “Not yet.” His reply was, “Let me do the thinking for you Grandpa.” At this time he put his hand on his face, got a little concerned look and muttered “think,,, think.” Then he said, “I have thought about it Grandpa and we are going to the park.” I got up from the swing and went in and told his Grandma what he said. Then we went to the park.

Some time earlier in the year we went to Arctic Circle, one of our usual places to eat and play. There were a couple of ladies sitting at the table next to us and Tony recognized one of them from the play group. After a time I noticed one little girl had stripped off her top clothing. I was talking to the mother next to me when I saw this. I said to her, “Tony is going to go home and tell his Grandmother that I took him to a ******* restaurant.”
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