It's holidays hamsters haven't you herd.
From all that annoying *** music and commercials done by sellout artist
trying to be cool word.
I myself would rather spend this month in a holiday coma.
Buy some cheap hookers some good whiskey and run over a black Friday crowd
in a stolen Sonoma .

It's give me give me and that's just from dad.
He'll break the bank and mommy will give him something the other
night his brother already had.

Maybe I should plant a minefield upon my lawn.
To ward off carolers  who only make me yawn.

I'll poison my cookies and sit back and wait.
Rob the old fat man and take Miss Santa out on a much deserved date.
Make your list and he will check twice.
After I blow his *** to pieces it really wont matter if your naughty or nice.

The holidays are a time for people to act insane over **** they do not need.
There addicts of want the stores are nothing more than dealers
selling coke crank and ****.

Maybe you love the lights and the holiday rush with the family and all.
Well you can eat **** and jingle my ball.
I hope to stay on the naughty list as  long as I'm alive.
Sincerely from Gonzo.
Shut the **** up and stop acting worse than a child who's five.

Don't send me a card cause I wont reply.
Here's your present it's a bomb now please die.

I hate the holidays call me a Grinch if you like.
******* Santa all I asked for  was a brick of ******* ,ten cases of whiskey, a key to the ******* mansion  ,  a  lifetime pass to the chicken ranch , A million dollars in unmarked bills ,
My neighbors dead ,And Harley Davison Motor bike.

Daddy's little princess such a tarred delusion in white.
Let's forget all it's only between me and you and the page tonight.
False hope's and new found delusions  let me slide this hand up that skirt .
Maybe it's wrong but what could feel more right.

You wanted to taste the edge so I took you to the razor.
embraced are sins and found new freedoms sweetheart was it as wicked as you could have ever imagined?

Maybe I'm the worst but it wasn't what you clawed into these shoulders last night.
Cheap moments wasn't it a hell of a time.
Matchbooks of places road stops of emptiness wasn't it a dream that new a nightmares embrace?

If you need a friend it wasn't in the cards but torment is truth mired by *******
can I interest you in one last fix.

Sweet nothings weren't on the menu but the passion could have burnt us both.
I hold no remorse but understand every scar holds a memory I wont bother you with that greater good speech sweetheart it's simply goodbye.

A quick slap beats a broken desire the magic was pure no matter the cancer we shared
in backseats and empty nights regression.

I recall you although I would never admit .
Every scar I treasure for sometimes your the one that I can never forget.

I'll wash it away and hopefully for you it will be something better not to have been.
**** the stories the page always makes us bleed in the end.

Paper cuts are that and nothing more.

We sat there in a corner booth to old dogs sitting warm by the fire so to speak.
Except are fire was fueled by the warmth of the bottle and the friendship we knew
never would we cross paths again after today.

It's a strange thing to put another person upon a pedestal and for them to view you the same.
We had fought and laughed shared drinks and made scars forever we knew
the stories would fuel the legend or maybe just mask are *******.

Where you thinking about heading out to amigo.
I had dreaded these words for they were a prelude to a long farwell
and a permanent goodbye.

I really cant  say you know I always been like tumbleweed my friend.
Cast to the wind driven with no true direction.

Yeah well try to not let this **** consume you he said holding the glass just before he kicked
it back.
And as he eyed the skirt with a perfect pair a legs walking by .
I had to reply yeah well try not to let your vice drive you insane as well or get you shot
by some jealous husband.

I told you I've given the married ones up I'm strictly going with the young and single.
And I'm joining the priesthood pal.
Least you don't have to stop drinking.

A good ******* always seemed to have good come back dam the *******.

We had to laugh over that one it was always a contest like two brothers one always
had to out do the other.

Well my friend I said.
If ever you need me well tuff **** cause I wont be there.
Yeah I figured that much he replied.

You know Gonz I got to admit you really are a *****.
Yeah but least I'm a honest one.
True that bud he laughed as he replied.

There  was no goodbye after we closed the bar down.
We just laughed off the ******* while masking are own.
See you **** for brains.

What you getting all sentimental on me amigo?
**** no besides least now my bar tab will be semi normal.
Well you know you just cant put a price tag on a good time or good conversation .

My old friend looked at me as always in a state of this guys half nuts yet always had a hard time fighting off the laugh.

Well Gonz I'd stick around but I got a thing called a life and all.
Yeah and I got to head by your sisters place and you know how she hates to be kept waiting .
How's that going ?

Real good since your mom and me broke up.

Well tell your wife and my kids I said hello and dude do you mind not coming home early anymore I mean I just having my fun time cut short.

My bad dude oh yeah and sorry bout the clap.

I finally got him on that one as are verbal *** for tat never ceased to die.

He what's a few STDS  amongst friends.

We parted on that note and as I viewed my breath a dragon's smoke chased off into the corners of the  night.

You just had to truly admire a ***** who could roll with the punches.
No wonder he liked me so much.

Adios brother  I  hope life finds that which you could never grasp here.

To a very good friend of this very well known past .
Sometimes you realize what's a loss to one is the gain of another.
And me I just remain the same charming ******* I always was to begin with.

                                       Stay Crazy.

Gonzo

To the page I understand and my existence for which I only same to  trace.
Have we not came this far on instinct now can we outlast the ******* ahead?
dam the wrong turns I have far less direction with you may I convince you to stay only to destroy
what never was to begin with my dear.  

As we count hours only to empty the glass.
Maybe one last dance upon  this edge will break us maybe if only we embrace the hopeless
may we understand death and the emptiness for which you remain.

Tonight a graveside stance forget the souls underneath I walked upon to get here.

Enjoy this agony for these are the days were night will gain depth.
So shallow are my thoughts when blinded by eyes.

You counted the hours but no change would become of you in form.
A favorite monster of my worst design can I slip my poison inside only to admire are decay?

Love you served me well for winter now summers hail will reside my thoughts.
Frozen as glass to water of pond .
Your image lay trapped within my thoughts and ice.

Farewell

Innocence cant never last.
In the presence of hate it's a ****** up web we spin when the only victim stands myself.
Come on it isn't so bad the repulsive stain never can we erase.
We are flawed and I just a scar left to bleed do we not understand now after I tell all?

Goodbye sweetheart hello institution at thirteen .
The reality would not be pleasant may I interest you in some lies to soften the truth?
What did I do?
A mother questions and fails to see.

We blind are selves to the answers keep it locked away.
Busted knuckles and a failed suicide attempt.
Were we not the victims of age cast in cells of misunderstanding my dear child
please never do as me.  

The ***** masked it well but your image only further inspired my hate.
Give it all till they see the truths.
Paper cuts are pleasant to the **** I've endured.

It haunts me a relict of a distant nightmare will I ever cease to wake.
I wish only I could say what haunts me .
But you only sent me away.

The past is a real cancer.
So erase it before it destroys you as me.

He rolled a tumbleweed of chaos hitting the floor like a ton of bricks.
**** that really looked like it hurt the voice said at the top of the stairs .
The man paused only to light his cigarette and begin his decent down the stairs.

**** please look tell MR  O'Bannon I'll have the money next Wednesday I promise.
The beaten down ******* said blood slightly pouring from his mouth .
Yeah and I thought last time we gave you a week you would clear everything up pal.
With that the man drove a boot into the man on the floors ribs you could hear whatever air was left in the man expel from him a balloon popped at a child's carnival.

It always came to this he thought and it was the **** he hated most as he took another deep drag and blew the  smoke a dragon amongst the lambs.  
the victim was Tommy Owens  he was a first class gambling fiend with as much luck for betting
as a blind man would have for driving a car on the interstate.

The orders were clear either collect the money or close Tommy's marker.
Jack had known the dumb ******* half his life just all the other stupid ******* who saw hope in swimming with sharks.'

MR O'Bannon was a ruthless scumbag who  fed on his own kind and controlled this beaten down neighborhood  and Jack was one of the reasons for it.
you think any business mans going to ***** his hands taking out his own garbage?  

Jack was the trash man and his hands were permanently covered in his bosses ***** deeds.
Jack hated his job almost as much has he hated himself.
But sharks has have no other choice but to swim or die and he dam sure wasn't checking out anytime soon.


Tommy coughed in agony trying to breath and trying to get past the pain of a fresh pair of surely
broken ribs.

**** Jack!
He said in a  voice more broken than his soul.
Please we've known each other since back in the day please just get me some more time please
What about my son?

He always hated when they used that card but if he were in the same fix jack knew he'd do whatever it took to get out of the certain outcome.

It's not like a movie when it comes to doing what has to be done .
In fact it's far more ****** up than any coked out movie director could imagine.
People cry they beg while others just go silent there the ones that always get to you.

Jack stood Tommy up  .
I'll get you some more time alright just this is it my friend you know what happens if you ***** this up.

Jack thank you man the tears welled up in Tommy's  his eyes.
walking him back upstairs jack could no more tell you what Tommy babbled about than if you asked him a question about the worlds economy.

You have to be able to turn that switch of all humanity off in your head and that's what sperates the wolves from the lambs.
As he sat Tommy down in that drab old recliner he could only recall just how silent he was as he turned to leave .

And how even though he could feel the barrel of the pistol to the back of his head he said nothing.
Everyone deserves at least a  grain of comfort and privacy even in death.

It was always that moment before that killed jack.

And as he left the apartment building the another scar and grain of dirt left under his nails and tarnish upon his soul .
He still recalled the sign he saw from the church that read.

Yes he loves even you.

Somehow jack thought to himself  that wasn't probably meant for him.
And if he loved Tommy so very much he sure had ****** up way of showing it.

Sometimes you have to realize you cant play the game against a man who holds
a loaded deck.

And luck is just false hope for suckers.

                                                       ­   The End.

Embers of my change glimmer within nights breath.
To bask in the flaws my dear we have nothing but endless hours.
Short as in a razor gleams bare were your thoughts cloaked in the
nothingness of my soon departure.

Wicked is she was a poison I would forever embrace.
Are we but mortal in coil so sinful my design.
Ruff she lingered for that which was a bruise .
Fond were the memories cast with sugar laced regret.  

Break my desires allow my insecurities demise.
**** the flesh only to tarnish the soul.
My hells have seeped within forecast of shadows and a premature demise.

Pulled in pleasure a lash of release .
Do we find a part missing keys lost unlock doors never known to are
existence will you embrace the farewell as I already have my dear?

I'll give you the fires without the signals taste the rage without the pain.
Storms have bounded what never was together to begin with.  

Nights ride a clash of bodies finds us a fragment of lovers now frozen
are thoughts as burnt are those hidden desires.

Tomorrow means nothing as page left empty needs only your
words to create.
Tomorrow knows nothing but what we have made of tonight .