**** yourself he said.
You are a burden. You are a failure.

Why am I a burden? Why do I fail?
I am the smartest man in the room.
Why do I assault my own inteligence?

YOU WANTED THIS. EVEN NOW THE MONSTER INSIDE YOU CLAWS,
He screamed.
And then he whispered,
Even now your heart beats and beats,
Feeling fear as if you were a normal human,
And twisting this fear into more disgust

Answer me! I said
Why do I do this?

You are so smart, you tell me
Tell me all the explanatons you can think.
How they all fit so perfectly.
It makes it worse doesn't it?
Just more excuses. But what differs between an excuse and a valid reason? He said softly.

I opened the door with the skeleton inside.
The monster clawed and clawed, and so,
I opened the door with my demons inside.
And I simply asked why.

I laid down,
And puked off the side of my bed,
I felt no better,
So I sat in my hands and cried,
and felt my **** growing on my thigh.
Great, I thought,
Lonely and not bought.
I stood up and fell,
I broke and I melt,
Indeed I ****** and I splurt,
But still my heart did not ****.
I guess the pieces were too tiny,
too embeded in the tears,
The burns sank throughout,
Even into my lonely ****.
The puke that laid upon my floor awoke,
Amassed and made into a form,
What was it, Who are you I said,
It gurgled blood and spoke to my mind,
I am your illness, your future, your past, your present.
Submit as you have and you shall be destroyed,
Struggle more as you would and I shall only laugh.
I saw its face, it became clear.
The beast with seven seven's and one six.
Almost perfect in its imperfections,
The face of my faults a trinity of disgusting.
The life of my mother dead on the floor,
That one cheating *****,
And the girl who I adored and left for nor,
I suppose...
Yes I suppose as I laid down,
Choking now, choking more,
This was all written.
Long, long ago,
In a book I'll never know.

The lights are all dark,
Bright as the night sky.
The weight is so light,
Dank as a summer ray.

Fly, if you can fly, FLY!
But still you must sink,
Sink, sink, sink,
Drip drip drop.
All into one.
All into nothingness.
There where the dark lights lie.

Do you think I've changed,
If so do you think I've changed for the better?
Am I better man now?
Am I a man at all?
Are these questions even meaningful,
Or does death's irreverent embrace,
Make it all irrelevant.
Tell me for as smart as I am,
I am unknowing,
Just gently stroke my cheek,
tell me I've grown.
That the fairy tales were all true.
And that my moms really not dead.

Once upon a Winter's eve,
The quiet sun gleamed up to me,
he spoke aloud not moving lips,
and a chill went into my hips.

And so I looked into the cloudless sky,
and wished upon a starry night,
I hoped for a better dream.
One in which my heart could sing.

But the scars which have carried me there,
Would not leave my hair,
and so they dragged me down,
Until at that was left was Winters gown.

Still alone I gather here,
Along this shallow tear,
wishing for a better morrow,
Although all I've seen is sorrow.

I say goodbye.
And all you said was okay.
I said sayonara,
And you have nothing to say.

I turned around,
Half-expecting your hands around my waist,
But when I looked back,
You had already gone away.

I guess that’s how it’s always been,
Guess you have a right to give as good as you got.
But dearest love, the day is much colder now,
And I only have myself to blame.

I think at night,
When your brain keeps you awake,
Your sub conscious dreaming,
While your mind refuses to take flight,
You find you true self,
And it scares you,
Its dark.
And its alone,
With your eyes closed.

Maybe life,
Is a little day each dying,
Aha, even when your happy your lying,
Next day comes your divorced again,
When did that happen?

I love when people tell me their there for me,
When they aint’,
Hope it makes you feel better,
To watch me sit and suffer,
Squirm at the edge of my seat.